I Met Her At the 7-11

Just the other day I talked myself into allowing myself to buy a coupla taquitos from a 7-11 in New Jersey because I was getting on a plane the next day, and I didn't wanna spend my last moments alive thinking "dammit, I should gonna ahead and gotten the taquitos!" should the plane crash. And today we find out 7-11 has a plan to knock out NYC's lovably quirky yet sometimes maddening bodegas:

Perhaps if bodegas were selling locally made Claritin, paper towels, and condoms, corporate convenience wouldn’t be so successful. But they didn’t. “A lot of [New Yorkers] do say, ‘We prefer mom-and-pop stores, but we actually shop at chain stores,’ ” says sociologist Sharon Zukin, author of Naked City: The Death and Life of Authentic Urban Places. “The very same person who buys fresh apples at the Greenmarket is going to buy Tylenol at Duane Reade.” In fact, given its franchise model and the Business Conversion Program, 7-Eleven could plausibly claim to simply be giving moms and pops the means to take their entrepreneurialism to new heights: The 7-Eleven takeover may merely involve the same people we already buy Doritos from selling us bags of Doritos from a different supply chain.

Hey, maybe 7-11 would finally give me one fucking buy-back after almost 15 years of buying beer about 19 times a week, unlike my closest bodega?

In 7-11's defense, their pizza isn't awful, and they once saved my ass during a chemistry test. Well, kind of.