Monday, June 25, 2012

Lucas! (In Voice of Jerry Saying "Newman!")

It's Star Wars you dipshit, not Star Wars IV: A New Hope. What the fuck.- XMASTIME
I've never been a Star Wars geek, but I came along at a great age to love the Star Wars/Empire Strikes Back/Revenge of the Jedi trilogy - the whole thing seemed bigger than life, and you'd kill to get the goddam action figures. Of which I had none...I'm pretty sure my mother tried to pass generics off on me. "Oh look, it's Dirk Fader!" Ugh. If you had that fucking toy Death Star, I'd assume you were crazy rich. All those years later it never occurred to me to bother going to see the "prequels". I didn't give a shit, and the whole thing seemed silly to me. And yet I feel my Irish rising whenever some little kid refers to the prequels without having any knowledge of, you know....Star Wars. I mean, come the fuck on with that shit already.
Arguing with a 5 year-old that it's DarTH Vader, not DarK Vader.
But one thing I do love is to hear superfans of the franchise bitching and moaning about George Lucas ruining their lives. The Big Bang Theory, for example, rarely misses an opportunity to mention how Lucas ruined their lives by forcing these other movies on them. So I will say that I'll eagerly watch The People vs. George Lucas, reviewed by Filmvetter, even though I can pretty much guarantee you I'll never fucking watch the prequels, or sequels, or whatever the fuck the recent trilogy is. It's just like with heavy metal:
ANYways, it turns out that heavy metal is one of those things like movies to me - I'd rather hear people talk about it than sit through the shit myself. I'd rather you set my eyelids on fire than hafta listen to about 10 seconds of the shit, but I'm now hooked on That Metal Show on VH1 Classic. Here we have grown men arguing over worhtless shit like who played bass on the last "real" Scorpions album, or who was the better Sabbath frontman - Ozzy, or some other jackass. AND about 1/2way through you realize that the old man falling asleep next to them is actually Ace Frehley.

No comments: