You Can't Go Home Again (OMG I Just Made That Up!!!!)

Never one for thinking too much, I settled in…I popped my beer, slid down into the couch as far as I could and locked eyes on the screen. The only thing I had to really think about was what time I should call Kam Sing, how long I could hold off – 7:00? 8:00? 9:30 would be a record. Egg Foo Young? Yes. Load up on some brown gravy, be drowsy as fuck and then fall asleep – too old to rub one out to “Sex and the City,” too young to die. My life. - XMASTIME

I took a stroll through my old neighborhood today. First I get sad cause I miss it, then I get sad because there's a million faces I don't recognize that were probably 5 years old when I moved there. I went quickly from OHMYGOD so much has changed! to has it really, only since you've been gone? to oh who gives a shit.

As you already know, I do miss the thousands of books for sale that line Bedford Avenue on sunny days. Not shitty books either - basically, any classic is yours for only a coupla bucks, as long as you can find it.

Ah yes: 2500 square feet of fancy gentleman hats to choose from. I believe I speak for all mankind looking to drop $300 for dad's used hat to prop up a business paying $30k in rent when I ask: what took so long?

Moi ici:

The first time I ever visited Brooklyn in 1992, I bought a Troggs record at Ear Wax (now in a different location...did it used to be where Main Drag used to be?...?)

Turns out the same trustafarians that have come to hate gentrification in the few years since they got here also hate actually paying for the the music they claim helped inspire them to move to a "scene" like Williamsburg, so of course Ear Wax Records is gone. Hello, Pink. Or Pinky. I can't even fucking look.

I'm happy to report that King's pharmacy has (so far) survived the onslaught of Duane Reades in the area, including one directly across the street, although when I popped my head in the door I couldn't tell if they still played all 80's music, or just shitty music.

Lemme tell you what has NOT changed a single iota: 100 Metropolitan. That's right, motherscratchers. Cockraches and this mercury-filled asbestos-laced building that probably cut my life span in half are what will survive a nuclear war, my friends.

I did hear a rumor that TOPPS is closing after all these years, perhaps confirmed by the sign below. Throughout my years TOPPS went from a place one could choose to by 5 lbs of "meat" for 99¢ to a place that didn't even bother listing its prices because TOPPS because if you had to ask, you couldn't afford it to, of course, my favorite bagger ever: Corey. Also, I will miss the spot where the single most confusing exchange since Who's On First occurred. Sadly, I never did get to live out my Fresh Direct dream.

Finally, all you faithful readers know that I've mentioned my go-to "Chinese" "restaurant" KAM SING about 70,000 times on this "blog", so imagine my surprise when I saw this:

Looks like there is officially nothing for me to go back to.

(Xmastime on leaving Williamsburg HERE.)