Revenge!

Here are 21 great ways people got revenge on someone.

#9, 10, 17 & 20 are pretty genius.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

Maybe it’s a generational thing but I’ve never met anyone who knows how to play dominos. #porridge #bbc

Announcements. I Have Them.

Foolishly trying the white cheddar on a McDonald's bacon egg & cheese biscuit just now confirms what I already knew: that when it comes to a melty cheese on a sandwich of any kind, there is only one cheese and that cheese is American cheese. 

BBC Top 10

In all my Gavin & Stacey tizzy I've just realizd I don't think I've ever properly listed my BBC Top 10 Sitcoms. So here's the list - of course 10 minutes from now I'm gonna be cursing myself over wanting to change it. Enjoy!

1. Only Fools and Horses
2. Gavin & Stacey
3. The Inbetweeners
4. The Vicar of Dibley
5. Extras
6. Porridge
7. Peep Show
8. I'm Alan Partridge
9. Moone Boy
10. To the Manor Born

More BBC XMAS Wanted

As you loyal fans know, I've been in an absolute tizzy since it was announced there's gonna be a Gavin & Stacey Christmas special this year. So I thought of three (for now) other beloved shows I'd like to see an updated Christmas special:

ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES
The king of the Christmas special, OFAH was a Christmas tradition over 19 episodes. David Jason is 79 so it’d be good to do this one asap, with the only significant people lost since the final episode are Trigger and, of course, writer John Sullivan. But Sullivan’s son wrote the Comic Relief sketch with David Beckham and the OFAH musical, so it seems like he could pull it off as good as it possibly could be. Rodney’s daughter would be 16 this Christmas, so of course having a teen daughter would have Rodders pushed to the edge already and could be pretty hysterical. And it could feature Boycie and Marlene’s triumphant return to Peckham after years of hiding out from the Driscoll brothers farming in Shropshire.

BLACKADDER
Fascinating purely to see what time period they’d be in, and how they’d twist a classic Christmas story like their genius turn on A Christmas Carol 31 years ago.

THE IT CROWD
Almost 15 years later are Roy, Moss and Jen still in the basement? What does the tech look like for them? Can we get Matt Berry in a Santa Claus costume pleeeeeeeeease???!?!??!

THE INBETWEENERS
Let’s catch up with the boys 10 years after they let Simon’s piece of shit car roll into a lake! Is Jay still the bullshitter of all bullshitters? Did Simon finally wear Karli down? Did will go to Oxbridge? How dumb IS Neil? And most importantly: is Gilbert still banging Will’s super-hot mom?!??!?!!?

Eels On Wheels

I while back HERE I mentioned my Wikipedia triumph via Del Boy's Eel and Wheels shop, and now I've found this fan art. Get all the Only Fools and Horses merch you need HERE! :)

Gavin & Stacey Thoughts. I Have Them.

Like I mentioned yesterday I'm super-stoked about the surprise announcement that Gavin & Stacey will have a Christmas special this year. And of course I have a few initial thoughts:

1. One of the more curious bits about Gavin & Stacey is that while Smithy is portrayed as an immature, irresponsible child-oaf, he actually owns his own business. It’s rarely mentioned, other than seeing his work car with his company name on it. Were the writers just wondering if anyone would even think to notice & question the discrepancy between Smithy’s character and his seemingly successful business? And after 10 years is his business still thriving?
2. 10 years on, are Gavin & Smithy’s kids friends with each other? Do they have the same relationship as their dads? Do they each resemble their dad’s personalities? Reflecting back on Gavin saying to Smithy, “if we met now, we wouldn’t be friends”, would it be funny if their kids hate each other?
3. Is it even remotely possible that Dawn and Pete are still married?
4. Has Uncle Bryn finally discovered his own homosexuality and met someone, and is now mind-bendingly happy?
5. Is Dave Coaches in Baby Neil’s life, as a quasi-uncle (ish)?
6. I fully expect the “what happened on the fishing trip?” riff will continue without us knowing, which I’m fine with.
7. Is Gwen sick of constantly making omelettes, or has she finally decided to open a goddam diner already?
8. CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A CHINESE ALAN ENTRANCE??!?!?!

It's Christttttmaaaaaaaaassss!!

Nine years after its last episode, Xmastime BBC Sitcom Pantheon Show Gavin & Stacey is coming back for a Christmas special this year!!!!

G&S featured not one but TWO of my all-time BBC characters, as well as one in the female category.

I cant. fucking. wait.

Stifler, Cher, Brian Johnson, Max Fischer, Slater

Yawn. Challenge Me, OFAH!!!

My Goddaughter is a GENIUS!

Impressive Train

I always knew it had had some success in finding runaway kids but I had no idea that out of the 36 kids featured in Soul asylum's Runaway Train video, 21 were found & recovered. That's pretty amazing. So amazing, 25 years later the song and video has been remade to encourage more success in finding kids.

The new dynamic video, which can be viewed at runawaytrain25.com, uses geo-targeting technology to change the footage featured in the video depending on where it's being watched from, and makes it very easy to share the video and report any information about the missing children included in it. “This video is a game changer," says NCMEC President and CEO John Clark via press release. "It highlights critical issues runaways face and will show real pictures of missing children. By creating and sharing this video, everyone has the ability to make a difference in their communities."

Thoughts. I Have Them...Meathead.

I'm beyond excited to watch the LIVE! All in the Family and The Jeffersons remakes tonight. Though as you watch All in the Family this time around, I'd remind my audience of this:

One interesting thing about All in the Family is that we're all supposed to laugh knowingly whenever Meathead puts Archie in his place for being intolerant/racist etc. But in the spinoff show Gloria, we learn that Mike ditched his wife & kid and ran off with some flower girl hippy chick. This, of course, after Gloria supported him for five years while he was in college. So maybe it was Mike who was the real douchebag. Hmm. I am a fascinating cat.

Beto!

Turns out that in his younger days Beto O'Rourke was...a manny!

The young Beto, who graduated from Columbia and fronted a rock band, got offered a free place to live in exchange for looking after the family’s children on weekend. He also had to get up with rugrats, make them breakfast and take them to school. Although he only did it for a brief time, O’Rourke called the job a “great deal."

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you LITERALLY write the book on being a Manny?

Sigh. Yes, faithful readers. Yes I did.

"But unlike you it doesn't look like he ate the goddam kid, you fat fuck!"

Lot Going On Here.

"The Office" Thoughts. I Have Them.

Episode: Launch Party

Really dick move by Jim when the good pizza from Alredo’s Pizza Cafe finally comes and he takes an entire pizza just for him and Pam. Wtf Jim? 

The Godfathah

As Godfather to three children (one of whom is actually baptized), I took an interest in this article about the quasi-newfound secularism of being a godparent:

Though the kids were baptized, McGuire says her relationship with her godchildren skews secular and more auntlike; she’s an unbiased voice of reason during disagreements. She especially hopes to be a source of educational and professional guidance as they get older, a relationship she wishes she’d had. “I didn’t have godparents,” McGuire says. “I always wanted them, and since I’ve gone off to college, I know people who had godparents and saw them be there for the big moments in life. That’s what I wanted to do for my godchildren.”

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you join a church 7 years ago for the sole purpose of being a godfather and then rather hilariously blog about it?"  

Sigh. Yes, faithful readers, yes I did.

Veep Veep!

Really, really great exhaustive wrap-up of the Veep finale HERE.

The last season was a bit off, the jokes went on a beat too long, and almost instantly it seemed to not have to happen. But it was still fun to watch, the characters were still hysterical at times, and the final act was a fucking. gut. punch.

Cap Doffed.

THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT. I don't even know what to excerpt, every line is killer.

RIP Tim Conway

We knew it was coming, but comedy legend and Xmastime favorite Tim Conway has died.

Nothing will ever be funnier than him totally destroying a helpless Harvey Korman.

One Year Ago Today

Back when I was still funny. Sigh.

Ah Yes...

...for that moment you finally accept the fact that your child has no friends.