The Wonderful World of Egg Foo Young

You can’t have egg foo young without the young - here's two new champions right now, my goddaughter and her brother 🤗🤗🥡🥡🕺🕺🤗🥡🥡🎸🥡

 

 

Things are Good

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, my first cronut, podcasting, Teenage Riot, Liev Schrieber narrating anything, brown, any kind of "melt" when they can still keep the mayo/tomatoes cold, Bloom County, Baby Come Back (The Equals not Player), Geoff Esper, a party mix with as close to zero pretzels as we can get at the moment, Derry Girls, John Lennon chewing gum onstage, a trail mix with as close to zero raisins as we can get at the moment, Cheez Whiz, October baseball, Lou Reed's "New York", funny Karl Mueller, The Vacant Lot, Saturday, notebooks, novels that go into great detail about what murderers on the run eat at roadside diners, Rick Sebak's "A Hot Dog Program", Arthur Nersesian's "The Fuck Up", crinkle-cut fries, "Gavin and Stacey", Graham Linehan before he lost his mind, Alison Steadman, Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein", candy corn, Father Ted, day drinking, The Killer, the Hallmark Christmas Channel's refusal to spend more than a dime on fake snow, Young Frankenstein, 

Statement du Moi

Just told a friend of mine her going-out outfit was so hot “I’d take a picture if doing so wouldn’t be super gross & creepy” 😜🤣🕺

Twitter Meme du Jour - Beware the Bored Billionaire Edition

Things are Good

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, my first cronut, podcasting, Teenage Riot, Liev Schrieber narrating anything, brown, any kind of "melt" when they can still keep the mayo/tomatoes cold, Bloom County, Baby Come Back (The Equals not Player), Geoff Esper, a party mix with as close to zero pretzels as we can get at the moment, Derry Girls, John Lennon chewing gum onstage, a trail mix with as close to zero raisins as we can get at the moment, Cheez Whiz, October baseball, Lou Reed's "New York", funny Karl Mueller, The Vacant Lot, Saturday, notebooks, novels that go into great detail about what murderers on the run eat at roadside diners, Rick Sebak's "A Hot Dog Program", Arthur Nersesian's "The Fuck Up", crinkle-cut fries, "Gavin and Stacey", Graham Linehan before he lost his mind, Alison Steadman, Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein", candy corn, Father Ted, day drinking, The Killer, the Hallmark Christmas Channel's refusal to spend more than a dime on fake snow,

Official Statement

Day 4 of my presidential administration: I ban leaf blowers.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, my first cronut, podcasting, Teenage Riot, Liev Schrieber narrating anything, brown, any kind of "melt" when they can still keep the mayo/tomatoes cold, Bloom County, Baby Come Back (The Equals not Player), Geoff Esper, a party mix with as close to zero pretzels as we can get at the moment, Derry Girls, John Lennon chewing gum onstage, a trail mix with as close to zero raisins as we can get at the moment, Cheez Whiz, October baseball, Lou Reed's "New York", funny Karl Mueller, The Vacant Lot, Saturday, notebooks, novels that go into great detail about what murderers on the run eat at roadside diners, Rick Sebak's "A Hot Dog Program", Arthur Nersesian's "The Fuck Up", crinkle-cut fries, "Gavin and Stacey", Graham Linehan before he lost his mind, Alison Steadman, Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein", candy corn, Father Ted, day drinking, The Killer, 

Tweet du Jour

This obsession with ‘working hard’ and ‘hard working families’ is depressingly Victorian. We live in an age of machines that can do all that stuff for us. People should be having more diverse and more fulfilled lives, not grinding away until they die.

— Adrian Edmondson (@AdrianEdmondson) October 28, 2022

BREAKING EMERGENCY OMG ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!!!

Comedy legend and radio/podcasting pioneer Tom Scharpling of The Best Show (and Monk, What We Do In the Shadows, Divorce, list goes on) humbly asks if he can be on an episode of Egg Foo What?!

Xmastime · The Best Show - Tom Asks to Be a Guest

James Corden

I guess we’re all supposed to hate James Corden now but here’s a reminder that he wrote not one but TWO great sitcoms and was great in them, including here. 

Wait What?

And just 6 months later, EGG FOO WHAT?! began. 😳😳😳😳 

Dear God the Sheer Number of Belly Laughs These Two Gave Us 🤗🤗🕺🕺🤣🤣

EGG FOO WHAT?! Episode 20: Lemon Chicken

In which Mike is fooled by chicken fingers and I seem to hate Derek Jeter again and OMG who am I kidding who cares - Mike mentions a possible guest coming up that will blow people's wigs off their heads. Enjoy the lemon chicken! (Incredibly enough, I did) 

LISTEN HERE!!!

The Big Tease

While you wait for the latest episode of Egg Foo What?! to drop tomorrow morning, enjoy this single from a previous episode - Sharks are the New Sex Tape. Thanks!

Huge If True, Guys!

 

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, my first cronut, podcasting, Teenage Riot, Liev Schrieber narrating anything, brown, any kind of "melt" when they can still keep the mayo/tomatoes cold, Bloom County, Baby Come Back (The Equals not Player), Geoff Esper, a party mix with as close to zero pretzels as we can get at the moment, Derry Girls, John Lennon chewing gum onstage, a trail mix with as close to zero raisins as we can get at the moment, Cheez Whiz, October baseball, Lou Reed's "New York", funny Karl Mueller, The Vacant Lot, Saturday, notebooks, novels that go into great detail about what murderers on the run eat at roadside diners, Rick Sebak's "A Hot Dog Program", Arthur Nersesian's "The Fuck Up", crinkle-cut fries, "Gavin and Stacey", Graham Linehan before he lost his mind, Alison Steadman, Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein", candy corn, Father Ted, day drinking,

MOOOOORE Good News for Xmastime!! WHEN Does It End!?!?!?!?* 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗

Meanwhile a word from a little place called Abbey Road:

Abbey Road, Revolver 2022 #TheBeatles #AbbeyRoad #beatleslondon pic.twitter.com/CWVA3ESBQJ

— Beatles Tours London (@ToursBeatles) October 25, 2022

 

 

* probably the minute I post this, I'm guessing

OFFICECOW: Return to Life! 🤗🤗🐮🐮

LOOK WHO’S BACK!!! Two legs gone, no ears left but he’s back and with a snappy little necktie and he is better than ever! WELCOME BACK OFFICECOW!!!!

Williamsburg, Regrets & Me

Every few years or so this famous 1992 article from The New Yorker makes the rounds, seen as ground zero in the "Williamsburg is about to become the hippest place on Earth" movement:

But when Annie Herron speaks about Williamsburg, she sings. “I think that what’s coming out of Williamsburg is going to be the last thing that comes out of New York as the art capital of the world,” she says, proudly pointing out a bit of neon calligraphy lit up in her window that matches the lettering on the Sing Keung Car Repair, Inc., sign next door. “I think the work is very much of this era. Because of the concentration of artists out here, it will become known as being from this area.”

Herron, who produces videotapes for her artists’ shows in­stead of catalogues, is insistent about one thing: The nineties­ — at least as far as the art world goes — haven’t even started.

I always joke that Williamsburg became Williamsburg about 10 minutes after I moved there, which is really funny because it's pretty much true. It's weird looking back on that era, knowing I was in the middle of a cultural renaissance. I don't have a lot of regrets in general, but looking back I maybe wish I'd have embraced it all a little more instead of just rolling my eyes at everything. But then, who the fuck know when they're in a "Golden Era" of anything? Okay maybe I did, since back in 2008 I wondered if I should shed my insecurity/shyness/dread a little bit:

But there is sometimes a bug in my brain, that slight jealousy that wishes I had a group of guys that I could sit around with and create comedy. Come up with it, film it, boom! move on. I've never had that (tho, as I'm now confessing, I've never seeked it either.) Oh, I have plenty of friends that are funny, but I'm talking about a Sid Caeser/Larry Gelbart sitting in a room cranking out the stuff for hours. I'm not naturally funny just to look at and I don't have an accent and I'm not quirky, but I could do that shit: want a joke about an ardvarks? You got it. Here's a newspaper, gimme 10 jokes in an hour, no problem. All while coming up with higher-concept stuff in the back; just some warm bodies at that point to carry the shit out that I want. Today we're doing a bit about Abraham Lincoln waking up hung over the day after he had freed the slaves ("I did WHAT???!!!!!") Sit down, shut the fuck up, do as I say! I'll never have a group like that; as arrogant as I am about what I know is funny, my insecurities re: being a joiner would overwhelm everything else. Unless the 4 funniest people I know walk up to me and say "lead us, Xmastime!", it's prolly not happening. 

Mostly, re-visiting this article just makes me sad because all of our old haunts have died away (except the Turkey's Nest dammit!!) but I wouldn't trade the kazillions hours of great memories laughing our asses off for anything in the world.

Got to Get This Into My Life

I'm still breathing heavy from jumping up and down about my Muswell Hillbillies/Everybody's in Showbiz box set and now I'm only hours away from the incredible Revolver box set arriving in my greedy little paws!!!!

A word:

Paul McCartney's "For No One" enjoys a similar treatment, with listeners being treated to the evolution of his painstaking keyboard work in bringing the song to fruition. It was no less than novelist Kurt Vonnegut who once remarked that "the function of the artist is to make people like life better than they have before," adding that "when I've been asked if I've ever seen that done. I say, 'Yes, the Beatles did it.'" The "Revolver" album — as with the band's late-period masterworks — offers powerful testimony about how the Beatles have made our lives irredeemably better. And these deluxe box sets, especially because of the studio outtakes, provide us with a vital window into how these miracles came into being in the first place.

Fa Fa Fa Fa Fa Fa-Fa Fa-Fa!

 

Dammit Watty!!!!!

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, my first cronut, podcasting, Teenage Riot, Liev Schrieber narrating anything, brown, any kind of "melt" when they can still keep the mayo/tomatoes cold, Bloom County, Baby Come Back (The Equals not Player), Geoff Esper, a party mix with as close to zero pretzels as we can get at the moment, Derry Girls, John Lennon chewing gum onstage, a trail mix with as close to zero raisins as we can get at the moment, Cheez Whiz, October baseball, Lou Reed's "New York", funny Karl Mueller, The Vacant Lot, Saturday, notebooks, novels that go into great detail about what murderers on the run eat at roadside diners, Rick Sebak's "A Hot Dog Program", Arthur Nersesian's "The Fuck Up", crinkle-cut fries, "Gavin and Stacey", Graham Linehan before he lost his mind, Alison Steadman, Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein", candy corn, Father Ted, 

NO BIG DEAL FOR ME, NOT AT ALL

Well it's only my new bff DAVE FUCKING DAVIES replying to my Tweet!!!! 🤗🎸🤗🎸🤗🎸🤗🎸🤗🎸

YASSSSSSS!!

After months of waiting, got my Muswell Hillbillies/Everybody's in Showbiz 50th anniversary box set!!!!!!!!!!

YASSSSSSS!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ @TheKinks @davedavieskinks (and yes I am available for professional Instagram package-opening opportunities, obvs) pic.twitter.com/oQT2bEgxXp

— XMASTIME (@XMASTIMEblog) October 26, 2022

SOME PERSONAL NEWS

I've finally gotten into Spaced.

Goals. I Have Them.

Casually dismiss someone with “okay, Hollywood”. 

I Mean FFS Sake, People

Just like earlier today, I ONCE AGAIN see the world is finally catching up to ol' Xmastime. This time it's with the fucking McRib, of which I Tweeted just yesterday:

DAY 38 of an Xmastime presidency = I finally end this McRib bullshit once and for all. 🤮 @McDonalds has toyed with fucking idiots long enough, time to knock it off now. 😡 https://t.co/x6aOjWapIJ

— XMASTIME (@XMASTIMEblog) October 24, 2022

And now someone finally has the brains to question "wait a minute, wtf are we even doing here guys?"

Can this even be considered food? A McDonald’s worker decides to reveal how a McRib is made. pic.twitter.com/yFraU7JGhp

— Mike Sington (@MikeSington) October 25, 2022

I humbly await to accept my nomination for Leader of All Humans, thank you very much.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, my first cronut, podcasting, Teenage Riot, Liev Schrieber narrating anything, brown, any kind of "melt" when they can still keep the mayo/tomatoes cold, Bloom County, Baby Come Back (The Equals not Player), Geoff Esper, a party mix with as close to zero pretzels as we can get at the moment, Derry Girls, John Lennon chewing gum onstage, a trail mix with as close to zero raisins as we can get at the moment, Cheez Whiz, October baseball, Lou Reed's "New York", funny Karl Mueller, The Vacant Lot, Saturday, notebooks, novels that go into great detail about what murderers on the run eat at roadside diners, Rick Sebak's "A Hot Dog Program", Arthur Nersesian's "The Fuck Up", crinkle-cut fries, "Gavin and Stacey", Graham Linehan before he lost his mind, Alison Steadman, Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein", candy corn, 

UPDATE

I mean I knew I was a lot cooler than you people but “never noticed Monte Melnick leaving a comment on my blog in 2015” cool? Wow, even I’m surprised guys. #blessed

OFAH du Jour

(previously posted 5 years ago today)

“Your mini-cab, Albert” is a top 10 Classic Only Fools and Horses line  :)

Well, That Was Fast!

Me just a week ago, in a list of brilliant sketches I'd put up against Saturday Night Live:

HS basketball equipment manager who is disabled gets into the end of a game, we assume it’s going to be a heart-warming moment but the other team destroys him

And today on Instagram I see this:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Football | Sports | Highlights (@thrillruns)

Football, basketball, close enough!

Hmm. One of These is Different Than the Others.

These are the five most-viewed Xmastime posts of all time. 

Buzz Deez Nutz

I've written about food shows probably hundred of times on this blog but when I took a Buzzfeed test and got this:

I hafta admit I've never even heard of this show, much less watched it.

Sigh. Here are my answers, faithful readers.

"Mom, Dad - Here's the Guy That's Gonna Make Me Riiiiiiiiiiich, Bitches!"

 

Hurrah for Marah!

When you’re so close to people you can forget oh yeah they’re also crazy talented af. This is my happy reminder 🤗🕺🎸.  (WARNING: You hafta wait until 51 minutes in to hear Dave mention me, which is unforgivable but the past is the past, people!) 

 

Strong Statement Time.

If anyone has a better idea than this I’d love to hear it. I’ll be right here holding my breath.

Current Status

(bracing myself for Republicans spending today claiming Kanye orchestrated the whole anti-Semetism thing because he’s playing 11th-level chess and just wanted out of his Adidas deal)

Oh Fuck This Text du Jour 😡😡😡😡

Meanwhile, In London

Speaking of Garfield

HOT TAKES ON COMICS: if you put the funniest 100 Garfield strips vs. the funniest 100 Calvin & Hobbes strips Garfield wins by a blowout and it’s not even as close as the word blowout might suggest.

Current Status

I’m at the age now where instead of “as the kids say” I can start saying “as the population now moving into early middle age would say”.

Garfield Rant du Jour

I don't know why they can't crack a fucking book open and learn these things for themselves, but people seem to not have any idea of where Garfield's love of lasagna comes from even though it was clearly spelled out:

But it turns out there's even more to his origin story with Jim from The Office his owner Jon Arbuckle:

The restaurant owner, forced to choose between Garfield and closing his doors for lack of pasta, sold Garfield to a pet store. Garfield thought he was a goner until Jon Arbuckle walked in the door. It's apparently one of the benefits of being able to communicate with his owner that Garfield is able to source his childhood favorite on demand, despite the fact that - as many have pointed out - any cat who ate lasagna in the quantities Garfield enjoys would severely cut down its life expectancy. Of course, Mamma Leoni's is just the in-universe explanation for Garfield's unusual fixation on lasagna. In an interview with Huffpost, creator Jim Davis confirmed his reasoning for the choice, saying, "I love lasagne. I thought it would be funny to have a cat who likes lasagne but as it turns out, I hear from people all the time that their cats love lasagne."

Here's the strip from 38 years ago today; his fucking smirk in the final frame is KILLER 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 

"I'm Not Dumb But I Can't Understand..." 🤣😜🤣😜

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, my first cronut, podcasting, Teenage Riot, Liev Schrieber narrating anything, brown, any kind of "melt" when they can still keep the mayo/tomatoes cold, Bloom County, Baby Come Back (The Equals not Player), Geoff Esper, a party mix with as close to zero pretzels as we can get at the moment, Derry Girls, John Lennon chewing gum onstage, a trail mix with as close to zero raisins as we can get at the moment, Cheez Whiz, October baseball, Lou Reed's "New York", funny Karl Mueller, The Vacant Lot, Saturday, notebooks, novels that go into great detail about what murderers on the run eat at roadside diners, Rick Sebak's "A Hot Dog Program", Arthur Nersesian's "The Fuck Up", crinkle-cut fries, "Gavin and Stacey", Graham Linehan before he lost his mind, Alison Steadman, Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein",

We Know You're Hungry For More, People...

....but in the meantime it's only the first ever EGG FOO WHAT?! single to get you through the day until the next episode! Something about potatoes, and is Mike trying to be "sexy" about butter on my potatoes? 🤢🤮 No Mike no we talked about this! Too sexy dammit!   

Xmastime · EFW?! SINGLE 101

HOT TAKES ON ROCK!

I think Dave Davies’ Funny Face gave The Who their post-My Generation career.

Hold Up.

Bill Gates is 5’10”? 

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, my first cronut, podcasting, Teenage Riot, Liev Schrieber narrating anything, brown, any kind of "melt" when they can still keep the mayo/tomatoes cold, Bloom County, Baby Come Back (The Equals not Player), Geoff Esper, a party mix with as close to zero pretzels as we can get at the moment, Derry Girls, John Lennon chewing gum onstage, a trail mix with as close to zero raisins as we can get at the moment, Cheez Whiz, October baseball, Lou Reed's "New York", funny Karl Mueller, The Vacant Lot, Saturday, notebooks, novels that go into great detail about what murderers on the run eat at roadside diners, Rick Sebak's "A Hot Dog Program", Arthur Nersesian's "The Fuck Up", crinkle-cut fries, "Gavin and Stacey", Graham Linehan before he lost his mind, Alison Steadman, 

Sometimes I Scare Myself with My Own Genius

Should-be Hold Steady lyric:

“She told me the only jazz she liked,
Was from A Charlie Brown Christmas”

You’re welcome, The Hold Steady!

I'll Say

if the words "woke" or "cancel culture" affect your vote then you're a fucking idiot and we'll deserve the President Ye we get.

Quote du Jour(s)

It's not that I'm scared of dying as much as I'm annoyed everyone else will keep on living. - XMASTIME

To go down into the grave...he would be cut off from the living, forever; he would have no name forever. Where he had been would be silence only, rock, stubble, and no seed; for him, for-ever, and for his, no hope of glory.  - James Baldwin

Annual Happy Birfday Watty Post, One Day Late But Better Late Than Never Dammit

Enjoy a treasure trove of Watty on Xmastime HERE.

"In the Place Where I Was Born, No One Cared"

Like anyone with extreme good taste who's spent the last 30 years obsessed with every detail of The Beatles, having read all the books and broken down every song I thought okay, I at least am AWARE of everything out there, whether or not I think it matters not.

Also like anyone with extreme good taste who's spent the last 30 years obsessed with every detail of The Beatles, having read all the books and broken down every song I thought okay, I always assumed Yellow Submarine was a tossed-off throwaway song Paul crapped out to give Ringo; over the years I've even groused that the non-seriousness of it almost tarnishes the exquisite Revolver (both Marley & I, in a rare moment of simpatico-noninterruptus, list it as our least favorite song on the album). It's a stand-alone goofy kids song with an entire movie around it the next year, why put it on a REAL album?

And then like the rest of the Beatles-loving world, I was delivered a fucking bomb by the revelation  - thanks to the new Revolver box set - that it actually started with John Lennon, as a tremendously sad song about his childhood (which would later be out through the ringer (ringer? or wringer? 🤔🤷‍♂️), from Strawberry Fields Forever to Julia to years of therapy and everything in between). I am, in a word, gobsmacked. First of all, I still can't get over the gift that was delivered to us via Get Back just under a year ago, and now this? 50 years after their breakup, The goddam Beatles are still delivering amazing shit to us we didn't even know existed. Just this snippet of a working demo has so much of an emotional wallop to it, I just can't believe that they just tossed it off and into a kid sing-along song. Unbelievable.

Wow, Was I Wrong About This One.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, my first cronut, podcasting, Teenage Riot, Liev Schrieber narrating anything, brown, any kind of "melt" when they can still keep the mayo/tomatoes cold, Bloom County, Baby Come Back (The Equals not Player), Geoff Esper, a party mix with as close to zero pretzels as we can get at the moment, Derry Girls, John Lennon chewing gum onstage, a trail mix with as close to zero raisins as we can get at the moment, Cheez Whiz, October baseball, Lou Reed's "New York", funny Karl Mueller, The Vacant Lot, Saturday, notebooks, novels that go into great detail about what murderers on the run eat at roadside diners, Rick Sebak's "A Hot Dog Program", Arthur Nersesian's "The Fuck Up", crinkle-cut fries, "Gavin and Stacey", Graham Linehan before he lost his mind,