Ummm...Who Cares?

2011 was the year I finally gave up trying to be fancy and accepted that the best cheese for a cheeseburger was good ol' American cheese.  Who did I think I was impressing with Cheddar? Who the fuck did I think I was all those years, a Kennedy? - XMASTIME 

Serious Eats decides to ask the question that nobody cares to hear the answer to, what IS American cheese?:

As I said at the beginning, my goal has been only to clear up misconceptions around American cheese and its production. If you thought it was gross to begin with, I doubt I did a good job of convincing you that it's not. For me, it's all about context. There are times when I crave a fancy, true cheese, and there are times when only an oozing slice of American will do. One does not replace the other, and they need not be compared with each other for us to enjoy them both.

And to all you cheese snobs out there, let's cut a deal, okay? You stop telling me what fancy-pants cheese to put on top of my cheeseburger, and I won't ask you to put American Singles on your cheese plate.