TED LASSO SEASON 3, EPISODE 1 RECAP

Okay first off, I’m a little worried about the running time. 47 minutes. No cheery, breezy funny sitcom should be more than 30 minutes. That’s when Curb Your Enthusiasm finally started dipping in quality, when they told Larry every episode could be as long as he wanted. When a network gives someone all the time they want they unfortunately tend to take it.

At least they’ve started asking the question I’ve been asking since Season 1, wtf is Ted doing thousands of miles away from his teenage son?

Ted revealing his dad’s suicide is another Roy/Jamie moment. But it also strains credulity - having had such a thing happen to him when he was so young, what can we think about him now that he’s on Year 2 of being thousands of miles away from his own son? I know his wife wanted some space, but wouldn’t moving across town have been enough?

“Amen, Big Ben” is going right alongside this hot little number.

Is the Lego thing going to be some sort of casting plot device throughout the season, to see what station different characters are at throughout? It’s actually kinda perfect for Ted Lasso.

Does Ted Lasso have the least amount of rain for any British show ever? Have we ever seen rain? FFS it's like Little House in the Prairie being in “sunny, always Summer!” Minnesota.

Is the theme song a tick faster? Am I dreaming this? 🤔🤗

I’m sorry but I just don’t believe that Rebecca is suddenly going to turn into a raving lunatic about losing out to Rupert, to the point of lashing out at Ted. I mean camon, how many more seasons of this “Rebecca seethes and wants to get back at Rupert through his soccer team!” shit can we really go though?

Higgins just suggested the idea of getting really talented players on the team and everyone now thinks he’s the brilliant Bill fucking Belichick of football.

I like Colin but is anyone else having trouble NOT picturing him with a little Hitler mustache? No reason….anybody? No? Does that match up with my previous thoughts on him:

I know Colin is pretty much used for comic fodder, but he IS a world class athlete who had been a starter on a premier league team; we're supposed to believe he's crushed because Nate, LAST YEAR'S KIT MAN, is mean to him?

OMG ROY KENT IS TALKING ABOUT HOOSIERS OMG GOD PLEASE GOD YOU CAN TAKE ME NOW

Higgins just suggested the idea of implementing an offensive system the players are familiar with and everyone now thinks he’s the brilliant Bill fucking Belichick of football.

I’ll say this about the guy who plays Rupert, dude is 70-something and looks good af. Sorry not sorry Rebecca!

Keeley’s company is called KJPR? Won’t everyone just think it’s a radio station?

If “Dum Dum” is the worst epithet Nate can come up with for his players then I have a small feeling his days of being the feared Lord Vader of Football may be numbered.

Wait wait - I’ve joked about Nate being Darth Vader, but are these windows in Rupert’s office supposed to remind us of the Millennium Falcon?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I know we’re supposed to treat Nate the Great like he’s Nate the Great at Being Darth Vader, but is he really so stupid he’d just lash out so vulgarly about Ted? I mean camon. Surely the one thing he DID learn from Ted is the kindness rope-a-dope? But I guess Rupert’s blowing him up so much he can’t help himself, so. 🤷‍♂️

Whoever is in charge of dressing Rebecca should get a raise. Very pleased.

Is Nate looking to bad-ass his way through his own panic attacks? Hmm.

Ted’s motivational tactics can be a tad curious but his “you can borrow the traits you need from your teammates” thing is actually pretty great and got the chills bumping over here at Xmastime Mission Control.

I repeat my bullshit-detectoring re: Rebecca’s suddenly being so serious about winning.

Wait, now Rebecca’s smiling at Ted’s niceness? So after all that FUROR!! from her that Ted better get his shit together and start taking shit seriously we’re back to nice & e-z feelins’ I guess? Just like that? Back to the tried-and-true Ted Lasso “introduce a major plot line and then end it 30 seconds later” policy at work, I guess.

I don’t understand the Roy/Keeley thing. The writers seem to have decided they want a break-up but can’t decide why. So right now it’s just because they’re…(checks notes)(checks notes again) “busy.” You know, unlike every other couple in the known - and probably, to be honest, unknown - universe. Why are they inventing problems nobody wants? NOBODY WANTS ANY ROY/KEELEY DRAMZ!!!!! WE JUST WANT THEM TO BE NICE TO EACH OTHER AND THAT'S IT!!!

The way Roy Kent said “go on” when his niece is about to cuss him out was fantastic.

His kid has to prompt Ted into thinking he should try to do his best in life? What? Could anything be further off-brand for Ted Lasso than that? Is't that what the show's always preaching?

I love this show. You know this. I love these characters. You know this. But I’m a LITTLE concerned: the flabby episode run times, plus the loooooooooooooong break between seasons during which, after demanding to be taken seriously that they imagined the show to have a three-season run and then that’s it, there’s been some wishy-washiness about the show coming back for a 4th session, which makes one think things may be a bit more unsteady than we’d like them to be at the moment and may have had an effect on quality. But of course I’ll breathlessly watch every episode, will probably bawl like 10 times and then want more after its all over. 🤗⚽️

MORE DANI ROJAS PLEASE!!!!!!