...our brave hero met Gordon Ramsay! Here's what I'd written earlier in the day with fervent anticipation:
Thursday, May 01, 2008
How I See My Meeting Going Tonight with Gordon Ramsay
XMASTIME: (overcome with emotion, about to cry) Hey, our first names start with the same letter...super weird, riiiiight? Man! What are the odds of that??!!
GORDON: 1 in 26?
XMASTIME: (stunned) ahhhh...
GORDON: do you have anything for me to sign, or are you just gonna stand there about to bubble?
XMASTIME: you know, I make some pretty good fried chicken, maybe-
GORDON: I can see that, you fat fucking donkey. Did you even buy my book?
XMASTIME: Hey, you know I-
GORDON: can you even read, big boy?
XMASTIME: Heeeeeeeeeey, listen guy, I can read just fine!!!!
GORDON: alright, alright, li-
XMASTIME: (up in his grill now) I'm not a puff pastry chef or some French guy in your kitchen, dickwad, so watch your tone with me!
GORDON: hey, I was just-
XMASTIME: you were just what? just what? hey, tell everybody what you were just about to do, fuckhead!
GORDON: please...please, I just...
XMASTIME: bubbling up, loser?
GORDON: please...I was just-
XMASTIME: I believe you were just about to walk over to that shelf, buy me that Jamie Oliver book, sign it, and thank me, weren't you?
GORDON: yes! Yes, I was (walking over to book, shaken up)
XMASTIME: and try to make it all the way there and back without taking your shirt off for a camera, how 'bout it?
GORDON: yes
XMASTIME: thanks (putting book in bag)
GORDON: (hopeful) I love your Manny Tapes stuff!
XMASTIME: (walking away) kiss my ass, cake boy. (to rest of the crowd) Che forever!!!
END SCENE.
Luckily for you people you can read all about what happened HERE!!
Or you can listen to Mike try to ruin the moment for me in EGG FOO WHAT?! Episode 41.
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