Insta Favez du Jour

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Garfield du Jour

Oh Yes My EGG FOO WHAT?! Babies...

...just lil’ ol me letting Mike know I’m working hard late night on Easter Sunday. 😔 #cantstop #wontstop #mikewontletmestop #eggfoowhat

Brooklyn @25 (belated)

[XMASTIME NOTE] I moved to Brooklyn 25 26 years ago this past January; throughout the year I'll be noting things, no matter how small they are in reality, that I remember & associate with those first few days/weeks/months of living in the greatest city in the world.

Seinfeld reruns actually got funnier once I was fully immersed in NYC. I got more of the esoteric references that went over or by my head the first time around, even a character saying "on line" instead of "in line" is something I would then catch. This is one of my first memories at 232 Ainslie Street with Rrthur (YES ladies, THAT Rrthur) and Mrs. Rrthur, fresh from moving to Brooklyn USA with everything & nothing in front of me all at once.

SEE PREVIOUS BROOKLYN @25 STUFF HERE

Easily the Greatest Easter Movie of All Time

And if I'm being honest, and I rarely am, there's no close second place.

Previous "thoughts" on it:

First of all, every cute little animal character that talks in these movies should be voiced by Russell Brand.  Everything that fucking little bunny said cracked me up.

But I did spend the entire movie being aggravated that the main character (the live-action guy) didn't shut his father, always on his ass to get a job and make something of himself, the fuck up by saying "um, hello?...I HAVE A FUCKING RABBIT THAT TALKS!"  Instead of using this to make billions of dollars, he first tries to get rid of the bunny, then hides him.  What the fuck?

Having said that, I will watch it over and over when it comes on tv, cause the rabbit was fucking killing it. 

AND:

The general consensus seems to be that I'm the only person I know that liked Hop.  Not just liked; it might be the most I've ever laughed out loud in a movie theater.  Maybe this is why I'm not  a movie critic.  Of course, it was no Ratatoulle, but what is?

UNFUCKINGACCEPTBALE

 

As We Await the Penultimate CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM Episode Tonight

So everyone's on board with my "The Finale Will Be Larry Ending Up In Jail With Jerry, George, Elaine & Kramer" theory, right?

Questions. I Have Them.

He's my bff as you already know but does anybody know if Gordon Ramsay's gonna do something to celebrate April being the 20th anniversary of the beyond awesome Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares? 🤔🤷‍♂️

A Moment, with Xmastime

Happy Easter to everybody who correctly guessed that Jesus’ favorite animal would be a comically oversized bunny with a candy addiction.

Statements. I Make Them.

There's a particular strain of New Yorker who pronounces "ruin" like "roon" and these people are monsters.

Current Status

Happy Easter to everybody who correctly guessed that Jesus’ favorite animal would be a comically oversized bunny with a candy addiction.🐰

Wait Hold Up

The Ramones and Little House on the Prairie debuted on the same day???!!?!?  😮🤯

Let's Be Honest

My speaking Portuguese joke is obviously fucking fantastic (insert chef's kiss here) but I can't believe I left the whole "oh look a black dog who can't swim" thing on the table.

AAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO WE NEED TO GO THROUGH THIS?!??!?!

Thoughts. I Have Them.

People who give camouflage clothing as gifts to people who aren’t in the military are lunatics.

Your EGG FOO WHAT?! du Jour

Insta Favez du Jour

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50 Years Ago Today

The Ramones played their first ever show (and no, it wasn't at CBGB, it was at Performance Space, at 23 East 20th Street, just east of Broadway.)

Johnny at the time:

“We took ads in the Village Voice and we played one show for our friends around March 30, 1974. We were awful. We didn't have the image down yet. Our friends didn't even want to talk to us anymore after that.”

Here's the setlist:

I Don't Wana Go Down to the Basement
I Don't Wanna Walk Around with You
Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue
I Don't Wanna Be Learned/I Don't Wanna Be Tamed
I Don't Wanna Get Involved with You
I Don't Like Nobody That Don't Like Me
Subbubus

This isn't that show but I mean goddammit I'm only doing my best for you people so enjoy and YOU'RE WELCOME!!

Brooklyn @25 (belated)

Here's 4 people who are very proud of me for this post.

[XMASTIME NOTE] I moved to Brooklyn 25 26 years ago this past January; throughout the year I'll be noting things, no matter how small they are in reality, that I remember & associate with those first few days/weeks/months of living in the greatest city in the world.

One of the first times I moseyed into Manhattan I stumbled upon a guy with two pancake supper folding tables covered with television scripts, none of which were legally printed/distributed of course; after picking my brains up off the sidewalk I grabbed a collection of the Seinfeld, Season 1 & 2 scripts which I went on to absolutely wear out - I still have it today - at 232 Ainslie Street with Rrthur (YES ladies, THAT Rrthur) and Mrs. Rrthur, fresh from moving to Brooklyn USA with everything & nothing in front of me all at once.

SEE PREVIOUS BROOKLYN @25 STUFF HERE

 

Speaking of George Costanza...

 ...Seinfeld may be the most quotable catch-phrasey show of all time and one of the dark horses for "most quoted line" has to be the "we're living in a SOCIETY!" line from George, which I'm pretty sure I've heard a gazillion people use over the years to the point where I'm fairly certain there's people who now say it without even knowing where it originally came from.

So color me shocked right now in rewatching the episode for the first time in a hundred years that in real time, the line got no laughs. Not only no laughs - and this was a GREAT episode with a ton of laughs - but it's easily the most awkward silence I can even remember from the show; you can almost hear the crickets chirping off-screen. And yet almost 35 years later, I wouldn't be surprised it it's literally the single-most quoted line from the show.

Hold Up.

Was George Costanza patient zero for the whole "Defund the Police" thing? 😮🤯

State du Moi

The next time someone asks how old I am I'm gonna answer with "when I'm about to sneeze I prepare myself by holding onto a steady surface."

Insta Favez du Jour

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I'll Say This

Say what you will about Wegman’s but those fuckers know how to keep you on top of the goddam holidays.

Happy Weekend Everybody

Dafuck Guys I Mean Camon Already with This Shit

Cars now can show video of any angle of your car from anywhere unobstructed but MLB can’t figure out to get the cameras around/in front of the new nets? 😡😡😡😡

XMASTIME Caption Multiple Choice

A. Does Jason Bateman think he’s still in the shitty Teen Wolf movie?

B. And yet we can’t get Niles & Frasier together in a room I mean who cares whatever.

C. Deez Nuts

I Mean Hey...

...they're the ones who kept demanding they have the right to marry, so 🤷‍♂️.

EGG FOO WHAT?! du Jour

Ladies & gentlemen, please enjoy a little taste of #eggfoowhat going into your weekend! 🤗🤣🥡🥡

Wait What?

I had no idea Radio Caroline was still a thing so this is to say cheers, big ears: 

THE legendary offshore station Radio Caroline is celebrating its 60th anniversary today.
And marking the occasion will be a special three-day broadcast from pirate radio ship Ross Revenge on the Blackwater Estuary. Radio Caroline made its first unauthorised broadcast from a pirate radio ship off the coast of Essex on March 28, 1964. The ship, a 200ft former deep sea fishing trawler and the last of its kind afloat, has been home to Radio Caroline since the early 1980s after predecessor the Mi Amigo sank off the coast of Frinton in a gale.

Ya'll should go watch Pirate Radio, a perfect gift from the Brits to us!!!

Real Moments, with Xmastime

I've written hundreds of songs that I poured my heart and soul and guts into that nobody has ever given two sh*ts about and if I'm being honest with you I'd trade them all right now for 4-5 massive #1 hits that would give me ungodly amounts of money.

Dafuck NCAA Basketball????

I grew up loving college basketball and romanticize its past like nobody's business AND I grew up a huge Celtics fan so I loved Cornbread so how is it possible that I was exactly this afternoon years old before ever learning about the ending of this game? I mean dafuck - how is this never included in all the many clips of famous last-second shots from the tournament, MANY of which aren't even in the Final Four?!?!!?!!

Wanda Sykes

I don't know if it means I have a skewed perspective on things or it's just a reflection of her impact on the show but there's no way I would've guessed she was only on 9 episodes of Curb and 0 after 2011.

Fuck Joe Lieberman

I'm sorry he's dead but fuck Joe Lieberman; at some point we may find out he's ground zero for whenever politicians decided that bipartisanship was somehow more important than actually making people's lives better; he's a key general in the battle of pulling defeat from the jaws of victory which has only gotten worse and somehow probably helped get us to Trump. So fuck him.

Garfield du Jour (Special Double Edition)

Insta Favez du Jour

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Questions. I Have Them.

People always like to rejuvenate but does anybody ever juvenate? 🤔🤷‍♂️

I'll Say This

Again - Larry David needs to win all the goddam awards just for this delivery. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Movie Ideas. I Have One.

A guy pretends to let himself be blackmailed by his best friend just so he can secretly set up him up financially because the poor guy's such a helpless loser but he doesn't wanna hurt his pride, hilarity ensues.

LOOKING FOR INVESTORS!!!! 💰💰💰💰

A SHORT LIST OF SOME OF THE COVER SONGS MY BAND PLAYED IN NYC AROUND THE TURN OF THE CENTURY

Baby Come Back - The Equals

Heard it in a Love Song - Marshall Tucker Band

Teenage Kicks - The Undertones

Cartoon - Soul Asylum

Passing Sad Daydream - Soul Asylum

Stone Cold Yesterday - The Connells

I Want to Hold Your Hand - The Beatles

All This & More - The Dead Boys

I Will Dare - The Replacements

Summer of 69 - Brian Adams

Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen

Dancing in the Dark - Bruce Springsteen

Brooklyn @25 (belated)

[XMASTIME NOTE] I moved to Brooklyn 25 26 years ago this past January; throughout the year I'll be noting things, no matter how small they are in reality, that I remember & associate with those first few days/weeks/months of living in the greatest city in the world.

After I moved to Brooklyn Indian Summer by Beat Happening, this low-fi hum of a song that somehow made sense in the 1990s, was just one of those records we'd put on at the end of a long night after they'd bought & I'd flown to the bodega a coupla times for tall boys at 232 Ainslie Street with Rrthur (YES ladies, THAT Rrthur) and Mrs. Rrthur, fresh from moving to Brooklyn USA with everything & nothing in front of me all at once.

As My CURB Mania Continues Until the Finale...

...the other day I mentioned:

I’m hoping there’s one more scene with Larry at a movie theater so I can matter-of-factly drop a super-cool “looks like the movie theater finishes up undefeated against Larry David” into conversation.

and obviously you can say the exact same thing about doctor's offices, of which Larry could never seem to get in and out of without a major altercation.

SIDE NOTE: Curb definitely set the record for a character constantly having doctor appointments, to say nothing of his penchant for breaking teeth!!

EGG FOO WHAT?! Episode 86

Greg finally has a Tweet that kicks up a tweetstorm of about 4 likes, the fellas go thru 1980s indie rock and Manhunt, Mike waits to hear about his job & Greg is seriously jonesing for some egg foo young.

HEAR IT ALL HERE!! #eggfoowhat

Xmastime Shoutouts

I've spent every chance I've gotten over the past few years to gush about meeting my first hero Jeff Lamp and all-world superstar Ralph Sampson, but I'd like to take a moment to remind myself how great Othell Wilson & Ricky Stokes were that night. They were the unofficial hosts, greeting everybody at the door like we were long-lost friends and picking up the slack whenever any awkward silences hit. They were just really nice & cool and a lot of fun and I'm glad I'm saying it right now. 🤗🕺🏀

List I'm Making

I'm seriously thinking about putting together an XMASTIME'S FAVORITE TV WIVES list.

So far I've got:

Trudy Campbell
Pam Shipman
Clair Huxtable
Peggy Bundy
Margo Leadbetter

Will keep you posted as I add to this. You're welcome!

Deep Thought du Jour, with Xmastime

There's nothing like that first step onto a gripping carpet after walking in from the rain.

STILL A GREAT QUESTION!!! 😡😡😡😡 #XOTD2014

UPDATE: Working On It

I'm Not Joe Strummer

The first time I ever recorded something for real in a studio setting Rrthur (YES, ladies, THAT Rrthur!!!!!) made fun of me because I insisted on holding my beloved Fender Telecaster while doing my vocal parts; partly because it just felt way more comfortable than singing without it, and I’d once read that’s how Joe Strummer recorded for The Clash, that you can even hear his unplugged Telecaster thrashing away under his vocals on their first album.

Since Joe Strummer was my guitar hero I used all of this to make me feel better/less self-conscious throughout my singing career. Of course then I see video like this and get upset to see Joe left me behind in the the dust and obviously went on to feel perfectly fine singing in a studio without his guitar but that’s only for a split second before I remember oh yeah motherfucker, you are not Joe Strummer.

The Clash - Bankrobber #80s #punk pic.twitter.com/dphf8wKWx0

— Ladytron Fan Account (@Lady_FanAccount) March 26, 2024

Wondering to Myself*. I Do It.

"Maybe there's just something magical for whatever reason about the year 1994-95 for me."

*"to myself"...as opposed to someone else I could "wonder to", I suppose?

This Guy is Just Absolutely Crushing It 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Announcements. I Have Them.

I'm currently working on my my next ABC TV Movie of the Week: “They Didn’t Give Me Nuthin’!”

Xmasime So Sayeth, Xmastime So Declareth

Starting your tv episode off with a Jean Ralphio scene is like a football team starting with the ball on the opponent's 5 yard-line; I mean it almost shouldn't be fair. #parksandrec 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

CUMSICUM*

*Criminally Underrated Movie Scene in Criminally Underrated Movie

Announcements. I Have Them.

Larry David should win all the awards, AND I MEAN ALL THE AWARDS!!!! just for this scene alone, I’ve watched it 9,000 times and I can’t stop and it’s INCREDIBLE!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I AM BEGGING YOU PEOPLE

RUN DO NOT WALK TO NETFLIX AND WATCH THIS NOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

That Feeling When...

...your 10-year run as King of the Beach has come to a sudden and screeching end. #officecow

Thoughts. I Have Them.

I don't know if Rob Lowe gets enough credit for the whole "movie actors moving over to television" thing, which was seen as slumming it back then; when he signed up for The West Wing it was seen as a bit of a big deal but now movie actors are on tv sows all the time and I don't feel like Lowe ever gets mentioned as blazing that pathway? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Xmastime TV Rec

Other than its terrible name, Alan Davies' 2010 sitcom Whites was a great show that now seems to have been lost in the shuffle; Davis himself has long griped & moaned about the show mysteriously being canceled after only one season.

It has an absolutely perfect cast, cracking jokes, an idyllic setting and everybody loves seeing the inside of kitchens, so it's crazy to me that it only lasted 6 episodes. Everybody in the cast did go on to other great shows, which is good.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED! Get thee over to Roku NOW to watch!!!!

Incredible.

Donald Trump is going to end the world as a fascist dictator who never led an army, never forcibly invaded a country, never had any sort of hostile takeover of power, never ascended to power through any sort of merit or effort; all he's done is stamp his feet whining & demanding that we not only give the MOST power to him but ALL the power to him and for some reason that will be unexplainable as long as time itself lasts, we seem to be doing it.

Oh Oh...

...looks like somebody found some footage from my old softball coaching days back at McCarren Park!! 🤗😜🤣🤣🤣

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The King of Queens

Hard to make the case that anybody in the late 1990s had it better off than this motherfucker, if we're all being honest.

OOOOOh, Xmastime Egg Foo Young Memories!

This time it's from my days running with my partner The Fashion Herald! 🕺

Movie Ideas. I Have Them.

It's the guy hiding in bathroom stall from a hired assassin who just walked in the bathroom trope but has anyone done it when the guy in the stall desperately has to shit his brains out & the entire movie is "can he hold it in or will he die"?

LOOKING FOR INVESTORS!!!! 💰💰💰💰

Perspective is a Funny Thing

When I was a young buck I had it in my head thanks to television & vague maybe-memories that the entire 1970's was nothing but tan & brown Earth tones and my generation would look back and scoff at such basicness and then I realized this was the backdrop to Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update in 1998, when I was a well-formed human of 25 years old who'd moved to Brooklyn. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

It Makes No Goddam Sense This Wasn't a Massive Hit

It makes no goddam sense this wasn't a massive hit; it's that perfect mix of mid-60's suburban fantasy teen rebellion pulled off with juuuuuuust enough menace along with a rocking vocal on top of what was shaping up to be that era's incredibly iconic & influential garage rock. 

Of course maybe the reason is that The Kinks - The Replacements of the 1960s? - probably screwed themselves by making it the B-side of Sunny Afternoon, which went on to define the Most British Summer of All Time and probably just overwhelmed I'm Not Like Everybody Else. 

Thoughts. I Have Them.

As American Democracy ends all around us remember it's not that the revolution will be televised, it's that the revolution exists because it will be televised.

Movie Ideas. I Have Them.

Tom Cruise's son is the Uber driving always pushing back against using the GPS system, “pushing the envelope just like his father dammit”.

LOOKING FOR INVESTORS PEOPLE!! 💰💰💰💰

Xmastime Book Review

So 50 pages in and from what I can tell this is basically World War II but everybody's Larry David?

Speaking of EGG FOO WHAT?!...

...ladies and gentleman, it turns out the very first person to ever put their name on a comment at Xmastime was...Mike Lisk!!!!! 🤗😜🤣 

EVERY WORD THIS GUY SAYS 🤣🤣🤣🤣

The Complicated Being That is Never MIND THE BULLOCKS

The Sex Pistols album is so good it's literally a tragedy, as in if Malcolm McLaren had taken a moment to realize how great it was he would've pivoted from totally focusing on making the whole thing a total circus to pimping the hell out of the album by NOT firing main songwriter Glen Matlock and then it's possible Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungeon would still be alive. Crazy.

Nailed It 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@anyflux Waiting for the end of the meeting so I can unmute and contribute by saying "thanks all!" #meme #workmemes #work #fypシ @AnyFlux #Meme #MemeCut ♬ sonido original - Piratagreenscreen 💀

For You EGG FOO WHAT?! Fans

I mentioned the fantastic Staten Island Children's Museum on the latest episode, so here's the earlier posts about those great trips with Mamalizza, Big Bear, The Short Bus, Husky, Cherry Bomb & a very disgruntled Watty 🤣🤣.

February 2008

May 2009

VIVA LA STATEN ISLAND CHILDREN'S MUSEUM!! 

Hold On a Second...

...was this clip from Curb Your Enthusiasm the what I'm sure would have to be incredibly surprising inspiration for his old partner Jerry Seinfeld's upcoming movie about Pop Tarts???!!?!?

An Underrated/Overlooked Episode of The Office

I mentioned yesterday how surprising it is that The Office didn't have a yearly episode about The Dundies, based of course on the season 2 opener The Dundies being such a stone-cold classic.

But the truth is that Michael's Last Dundies, Steve Carell's penultimate episode, is criminally overlooked. The joke rate is fucking off the charts; even Will Farrell's dopey "why is he here?" DeAngelo Vickers couldn't screw it up.

For instance, this incredible hit on Toby is just one of the gazillion great jokes.

Nostalgia

Okay what this guy is talking about I'm guessing is nestled in some deeply embedded racist nationalist shit, but it does bring up a good question about our need for nostalgia that we weren't actually a part of.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you rather brilliantly point this phenomenon out over a dozen years ago?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did:

I've always thought that we feel "nostalgic" for those moments juuuuust before we were fully aware of being able to revel in them. For example, I romanticize the Amerindie/Minneapolis early-mid 80s scene, and harken back for those glory days, but in reality I was JUST too young to really be a part of it, or to enjoy it in real time. Meanwhile, I feel no real longing or nostalgia for the Grunge Era, and yet any cultural historian would point to it as being the defining musical genre of my particular segment of a generation. I think we tend to kind of pooh-pooh the moments we actually live through, and romanticize the ones we've just missed - particularly if you have older brothers/sisters, or friends with older siblings et al. We look back at the CBGB's scene in NYC and assume those bands sat around soaking in how much of a "scene" and "history" they were a part of, yet they surely did no such thing, and in fact probably bitched and moaned that there's wasn't something magical like whatever scene had come before their own. And on and on.

Happy Marah Day!

24 years ago tonight I saw Marah for the first time, the Kids in Philly record release show at the TLA in Philly:

Looking back, I can't believe I even went - although I had heard Cut the Crap, I hadn't even heard Kids in Philly yet, and the number of times I've gone to a show and been blown away by songs I have never heard before still stands at exactly one. They immediately became my favorite band since high school; hell, not to be dramatic, but I had given up ever finding another rock 'n roll band to love. But I did, and it was them. And that KIP tour just kept on giving and giving, from this show to one a few weeks later where they played some tiny restaurant on a stage the size of a small desk, and the owner wouldn't let them quit cuz they were blowing the roof off the joint. Mercury Lounge, when I got kicked out maybe 3 seconds in. It all crested in November, three ridiculously good shows at the Khyber, which also set the look of the album into stone for me when we walked around Philly as surely-made-for-the-movies piles of multi-colored leaves were all around us.

Highlight of that night 10 years ago today: eating my first real Philly cheesesteak, and then watching BayonneMike laugh at me for twenty minutes while my nose bled as he ate a slice of pizza  :)

I won't bother going into how much this night affected my life ever since, both (mostly) personally and musically, as a lot of it's probably chronicled throughout his blog. But of course the internet being the internet, here's the audio from the show that night, still one of my favorite rock & roll shows of all time.

Introduction (WXPN's David Dye)
Night Time
The Catfishermann
Point Breeze
Reservation Girl
d1t06 Round Eye Blues (Steve Earle on backing vocals)
"We've Got A Bandstand"
Christian Street
My Heart Is The Bums On The Street
Can't Stand It (Lou Reed)
Faraway You
After The Implosion
Come On (Chuck Berry)
The History Of Where Someone Has Been Killed
Formula, Cola, Dollar Draft
Transcendental Blues (Steve Earle on lead vocals)
State Trooper (Steve Earle on lead vocals)
West Nashville Boogie (Steve Earle on lead vocals)
Eventually Rock
Rain Delay
Can't Hardly Wait (The Replacements)
Keep A Knockin'
Acquiesce (Oasis)

Thoughts. I Have Them.

The Office debuted 19 years ago today and I think that’s as good an excuse as any to ask the question  why they didn't have The Dundies every year. 🤔🤷‍♂️

New Podcast Fave du Jour

Exhaustive to the Point of Ridiculous, Right Up My Street 🤗🤗🎸🎸

LISTEN HERE

CURIOUSLY GREAT MOMENTS IN WIKIPEDIA HISTORY, VOL. 1: Jeff Judkins

 

Absolutely ❤️ du Jour

As We Welcome Another Baseball Season...

...🤣🤣🤣🤣

More Goals. I Have Them.

I wanna create a funny sitcom character called "Wispy Cornbread".

Goals. I Have Them.

I wanna created a sitcom character so cool that while trying to impress a hot chick he goes to do the tie-a-cherry-stem-in-his-mouth trick but instead he makes a guitar pick just suddenly come out of his mouth and he starts wailing on his guitar and then you’re like "holy shit wait was he holding that guitar this whole time???!"

Another Thing You Should Know About Me

My earliest memory of The Office is being shocked that one character would steal what amounted to 25% of his co-worker’s entire year’s commission from him.

This Is Me 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Memories

I remember there was a lot you were supposed to be shocked about when A Season on the Brink came out but the big thing that jumped out at me was that when you lost in the NCAA tournament you still had to practice through the rest of the tournament which really offended the young lazy slack-ass in me.

Something You Should Know About Me

My biggest fear is that after I die all my friends will then decide "oh hey let's all start watching Only Fools and Horses in honor of Xmastime" after refusing to while I was alive. 

Well, my biggest fear next to death but still.