Levi

This morning when I read Sully's posting of Levi claiming WIllow found Sniffy's pregnancy stick (heh heh heh) my spidey senses started tingling re: the absurdity of this happening at all, much less 7 months, and now a reader points it out:

Levi Johnston's comment about Willow finding a pregnancy test stick in the bedroom doesn't make any sense (surprise).  Even if the kids found out before the seven-month point, why would Palin keep the pregnancy test stick for a month, two months, or at all, much less in the bedroom?  And how does it remain secret until the seventh month, if Willow is telling everyone sooner than that?

I've warned Sully before about investing in the word of a teenager:

Andrew Sullivan needs to be a little more wary of placing his battle against Sarah Palin in the hands of a 19 year-old kid. I've said before, just because I'm pretty sure everything that comes out of her mouth is complete bullshit doesn't mean I should think everything that comes out of his mouth is the 100% god-honest truth. I mean, MAYBE it is; but Sully here is like a college football coach who, at the end of the day, puts his livelihood in the hands of kids. It is, to say the least, a bit of a gamble.

Either way, I still wansta hit some of that Sniffy stuff.

Death Row Meal

Via MOI, presumably written just after a mother/daughter threesome which included a "wartime nurse/wounded flyboy" scenario:

Some interesting notes on last meals of death row inmates. Why is the photo they use one of a guy on the phone - is he ordering Domino's for his last meal? Wtf? For some reason this has come up at my office a few times; my won answer is usually a replica of Sunday dinners as a kid (roast chicken, peas, Stove Top, mashed potatoes, homemade apple pie with Breyers vanilla, and homemade rolls.) Though now that I think about it I wouldn't mind a Pat's cheeseteak thrown in there too.

Even in such a desperate moment, I'm not sure I could keep a straight face and not fuck with the order. "This isn't mine." "Can you send this shit back? Bring the chef out!!" et al. "Are there peanuts in here? I'm allergic, for chrissake!!!!"

While skimming the article about the killer of James Byrd being executed, I almost missed this:

Brewer ate a huge final meal, according to Texas Department of Criminal Justice spokesman Jason Clark. It consisted of chicken fried steaks, a triple-meat bacon cheeseburger, a cheese omelet, a bowl of fried okra, barbeque, fajitas, pizza, and a slab of peanut butter fudge with crushed peanuts.

I'm not saying it's worth a dude being decapitated, but fucking hell, that's impressive.

James Byrd

Lost in the awful shuffle of Troy Davis being executed yesterday was the killer of James Byrd also being executed in Texas ("oh yeah? Take THAT!" sed Rock Perry.)

Interestingly enough, a James Byrd went to my high school, and in my first road game on the jv basketball team at W&L, there was a contest at halftime of the varsity game wherein a random seat was drawn, and the person in that seat was given a chance to hit a half-court shot and win $50.  A seat number was announced, onto the court walked James, and BLAMMO! he hit the fucker for $50.  Probably the highlight of my jv basketball career, other than scoring over half our points against King William and watching Marvin Croxton hit a shot in the wrong basket.  Of course, my varsity career was much more illustrious, including the greatest walk of all time.

Cupcakes (My Nickname in High School, BTW) (Well, According to My Football Coach)

I see my Tea Party Facebook friends are outraged at the Dept. of Justice spending $16 per cupcake at some event, screeching at the gub'ment's hyper-overspending because it's fascist etc etc.

Besides it turning out that the $16 cupcake is a myth, why wouldn't this be celebrated by such free market fetishizers as the TP/GOP?  If the government said "we need cupcakes," and some hotel was able to get $16 for a cupcake, isn't that a victory for small business in the cutthroat world of capitalism?  Doesn't that mean the hotel can "create more jobs"?  Instead of being mad at the government for paying $16 for a cupcake, shouldn't we be pissed the hotel didn't try to get $17, since isn't that what Jesus wants?

I guess billions of dollars spent on war planes that will never be used is fine, but $16 for a cupcake that isn't actually $16 but looks good on a placard with the Obama-as-Joker-from-Batman is too much.  And if your argument is well, making those planes creates jobs, why not make cupcakes instead?  I'm sorry, but cupcakes can be PRETTY fucking tasty.  Nom nom nom!

Same Old Same Old

Sully HERE is aghast at Wall Street wanting to create another meltdown.  I can't work up the pretense in being surprised anymore; one thing Republicans have been spectacularly consistent at is demanding to ignore history, be it Vietnam is to Iraq or the last financial meltdown is to the next one they're jonesing for.  And at this point it's even silly to try and blame them, as they've so brilliantly trained the middle class to be defiantly ignorant and willfully stupid in doing their bidding in exchange for waking up and somehow being an insider at Kennebunkport. We'll get another meltdown and then it's rinse, lather, repeat etc.

I Mean, Damn.

Friday, May 14, 2010

How Shitty of a Voice Can Peter Buck Have?

While linking to The Baseball Project Letterman video in the post below I am reminded of something I've banged on before: how the fuck awful of a singer can Peter Buck possibly be? I mean, I can understand R.E.M. not letting him sing, but a fun supergroup of his buddies in which he plays bass and they sing songs about baseball, and even THEN they don't even put a mic on his side of the stage? In a word: WOW.

Keeping REM's Breakup in Perspective

Also, today's announcement gives the world an excuse to listen to a song that I recorded a hundred years ago, apparently underwater in a basement, that, while not as good as the worst REM song actually has Pete Buck in the title, so...NEVER FORGET.

AND We're Off!

Monday, September 07, 2009

My Top 10 REM Sogs (in No Particular Order)

Live and How to Live It
Superman
Finest Worksong
Radio Free Europe
Moral Kiosk
Don't Go Back to Rockville
Begin the Begin
I Believe
Belong
Fall On Me

Three More White Jobs Lost. Thanks, Obama!

R.E.M. "Splitting Up"

The traumatic "band breakup!" is obsolete; bands can come and go and put out records every 10 years and nobody cares, it's not like the old days when people thought the Beatles were done because it had been ten seconds since they dropped Revolver, for fuck's sake.

RIP

via REM:

 "To our Fans and Friends: As R.E.M., and as lifelong friends and co-conspirators, we have decided to call it a day as a band. We walk away with a great sense of gratitude, of finality, and of astonishment at all we have accomplished. To anyone who ever felt touched by our music, our deepest thanks for listening." R.E.M.  

As would any man of my generation with discernible taste, I grew up loving REM; besides themselves being great, the doors they opened to bands I loved then are now are incalculable to quantify.  And while I can't say I've given much of a shit about anything they've done in the last two decades, their first decade of music will always make them one of my all-time favorite bands.  I agree with Kurt Cobain that if I could choose one career path to take as a band both critically and commercially, it'd be REM.

And yet they've announced that they're splitting up today, and I don't really care.  For one, I'm old; if this had happened when I was 16 I would've played their records over and over while bawling about how great they were, but then these things happen when you're 39 you tend to not be quite so broken up.  Particularly, as I just said, when it would've been fine if they HAD broken up back then, since everything I love, with rare exception, they'd already put out.  To be honest, people should be relieved they don't hafta pretend REM is anything other than Berry/Buck/Mills/Stipe.  And while I'm rolling my eyes re: their "breakup," any reason they're in the news is a good excuse to remind ourselves that they're probably THE single most important and defining band of any mix of college rock/alternative rock/80's Amerindie/grunge/alt-country and on and on over the last three decades.

But mostly, I just don't believe them.  I mean, just like when Jay-Z "retired", bands can come and go al they want, there's no reason to announce an officially breaking up, as I wrote about the White Stripes.

I'll always love REM.  But I have no idea why they're bothering with this announcement when you know that in a few years they'll get back together, this time with Bill Berry, have some laughs then a record then a reunion tour and voila! there ya go.

I'm sure I'll have a coupla pops tonight and start re-posting shit I've said about them, but it's because I care that they "broke up" today, but as an excuse to remember how great they were when I was a young buck.

Bastards of Young on SNL

Three of the greatest minutes ever on tv were when The Replacements roared through Bastards of Young on Saturday Night Live, complete with getting in trouble for Westerberg shouting "fucker" (although camon, you can't actually hear it.) While I wore out the VHS tape of it I had for years, I've never had any luck finding it online until now, so enjoy!


What a mess by mmr421

Xmastime Classixxx, Palindrome Edition

I don't really understand why the word for "word that reads the same backwards and forwards" does not read the same backwards and forwards. Woulda been cool, right? What the fuckkcufehttahw? - XMASTIME


Anyways, it occurred to me that she, and anyone else born that year, (1991)  had the greatest chance to be born in and then see another year which is a numeric palindrome in over 1000 years. 1991, 2002. Otherwise, you gotta live 110-120 years to see two different years like that (eg 1771 to 1881.) Last example that close woulda been 999 and 1001. Interesting. - XMASTIME

Mrs. XmastimeemitsamX!

Drunken Dater's palindrome birfday.

From What I Can Tell

...nobody has ever liked a single change Facebook has made, but zillions continue to flock to it and it rules over our lives more and more every day.

(Cue MARLEY:  "ooooh, just like the government!!")

;)

Isn't Brad Pitt Handsome?

There's an odd symmetry to Brad Pitt's Moneyball coming out in the midst of the Bush Administration's what I'm sure will be an endless series of it's members going around on the talk show circuit selling books that pat themselves on the back for being terrible at their jobs.  I mean, you can't compare a baseball team to a group of men who caused so much death and destruction we'll be paying for it for decades to come as they destroyed any practical worth of American Exceptionalism in the name of braying their assurance of it, but while the A's had a nice run of winning a coupla division titles in a weak division, the one thing people will ever remember from those years is The Jeter Flip play, ie a game and series the A's ta-DA!....lost.

I'll Ask Again

Orville Redenbacher's Natural Popcorn
Serving size: 2 tbsp (35 g) unpopped (makes about 4.5 cups popped)
Servings per bag: 2.5
Calories per serving:
2 tbsp unpopped: 170
1 cup popped: 30


I'm still unsure as to why microwave popcorn is so determined to be as confusing as possible with it's calorie info. I mean, one bag is one bag; it is it's own entity. Just list the fucking calorie number already!!!!  Nobody is fucking opening the bag up and only popping a select group of kernels, or eating the kernels unpopped, but for some reason they give us "unpopped" info. And you either cook it and then eat it yourself, or you split it with a friend; if you're cooking up a batch and take out a handful and oput the rest away "for later," you're probably a fucking rail to begin with and don't need the info. What the fuck. Fuuuuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The King of Rock 'n Roll

I'm watching Hail! Hail! Rock 'n Roll and while it's up to Keef to show what a pain in the ass having to work with Chuck can be, Bruce talking about the transient style of Chuck's like is always funny to hear.

Hold the Fuck Up.

Not only do we hafta watch that fucking lunatic Nancy Grace flop-sweat across a dance floor while eating pancakes and panting like a dog lying in the sun after running a mile, but that bitch is co-opting my patented #1 finger, ie what I plan on leaving for the next generation?!??!!!!  Oh, HELL no!!!!

Nobody Wants to Admit They're Rich

Yglesias HERE points out how wealthy people don't consider themselves wealthy.  I know they're aware there's always gonna be someone with MORE $crillah, but I wonder if they really consider themselves to be not wealthy or simply have a hard time admitting it out loud, since as I wrote here, for some reason it's very important for everyone to portray themselves as scrappy underdogs.  Of course, if you've gotta have a problem in your life, I'd say having difficulty admitting you're rich as hell is a pretty good one to have, like being addicted to sex.

The Beatles Should Be Brothatime!!'s Favorite Band

A coupla years ago Brothatime!! had a riff where he was gonna be Bizarro Bruce - he'd play 15-minute concerts singing songs about being rich for only super rich fans.- XMASTIME, prolly while in a speedo buttered up and glistening

Reading the article about the Beatles below is a crack-up because we see this:

The agreement also guarantees the band payment of $40,000 (£25,338).

They eventually finished their 12-song set with Help! followed by its B-side, I'm Down.

Ha! $40K for about 25 minutes.  Ka-CHING!