The 50 Greatest College Basketball Players of All Time

Over at Grantland, Chuck Klosterman has put together a list of The 50 Greatest College Basketball Players of All-Time. He makes a point of saying by this he means great players whose college careers were more memorable than any subsequent professional one.  This list in particular appeals to me since we’re the same age, meaning some usually-forgotten-by-history names like Fennis Dembo are in there.  Of course I will now list how each player can be attached to me, prolly while breaking a personal record for internal links. I'm doing 50-26, the rest tomorrow.  You're welcome!


And yes, we'll give his glaring omission of Jeff Lamp a pass, surely due to his having to work under the crushing boot-heel of The Sports Guy.

50. Alfredrick Hughes (Loyola University, 1981-1985): There will never be another Alfredrick Hughes, which is kind of like saying there will never be another GG Allin. As a freshman, he once missed 20 consecutive shots vs. Bradley. As a junior, he took 655 shots and finished the year with only 17 assists. He's perhaps best remembered for a bootleg T-shirt that was popular around campus that screamed, "SAVE LOYOLA BASKETBALL, SHOOT ALFREDRICK HUGHES. " But the freak could always fill it up: 17.0 as a frosh, 25.7 as a sophomore, 27.6 as a junior, and 26.3 as a senior. Somewhere in Chicago, Alfredrick is taking an ill-advised shot right now.

I don't remember him, although for some reason I feel like I’ve heard of that t-shirt.  Personally I can relate to Alfrederick since as a young I never met a shot I didn’t take and passed about as often as the seasons changed.  Once I got the ball head back to defense, cause you weren’t getting it back, particularly if I was comfortably in my crater at The Chinn Dome.  Oh wait, maybe that's why I remember the t-shirt - they made one about me!!!

49. David Rivers (Notre Dame, 1984-1988): Ultra-quick and totally unpredictable, Rivers was a point guard from a video game (and I mean a video game from the '80s, when nobody cared how realistic they were). When Al McGuire used to announce Irish games on NBC, you could almost hear the saliva dripping off his lips whenever Rivers broke somebody's tibia. Of course, David was never designed for the pro game, and he knew it. He knew it before anyone else. Here's what he said after getting cut by Minnesota Timberwolves coach Bill Musselman: "I didn't fit in. He wanted a guard who would run the offense, pass the ball, and play defense. That's not me at all."

I don’t remember any ND basketball layer existing other than David Rivers; I remember that weird light pole for fouls on their home court that looked like a traffic light more than anyone else. He was electric, tho I don’t remember him not playing defense.  Which also sounds like me – my version of “playing defense” in 2-on-2 games meant insisting on playing a “zone”, which consisted of my teammate chasing the opponent with the ball while I waited under the basket for the defensive rebound so I could hustle back to my crater and launch off another one.  Mainly, this gives me an excuse to link to Al McGuire’s great quotes!

48. Gerry McNamara (Syracuse, 2002-2006): There have been many players better than Gerry McNamara. But how many humans ever played better than McNamara during the best week of his life? His four-game performance in the 2008 2006 Big East tournament was more extraordinary than Billy Owens' entire career.

Those tourneys with him were whack; you had the feeling he’d show up right before tip-off in the quarterfinal and his own teammates would say “Who the hell is this guy?”  Needs to have a Lifetime movie made of his tournament runs, starring Ollie from Hickory, of whom I’ll be disappointed if he’s changed his look one single bit.

47. Stacey Augmon (UNLV, 1987-1991): Nobody ever terrorized the passing lanes like the Plastic Man. Is it possible to be "laid-back" and "aggressive" simultaneously? Somehow, that was Augmon's natural state of existence.

Anyone on those 1987 or 1990/1 UNLV teams could be on this list; as I wrote HERE a dream matchup would be between them.  The only one that really did anything in the NBA was Larry Johnson, and even then the only thing anyone remembers is his 4-point play against the Knicks.  Why’d the Knicks give up 4 points on a single play, you ask? Because they couldn’t give up 5, of course.

UPDATE: Erieberg in the comments section is right in pointing out that Johnson was ON the Knicks. Duh!  I guess I should change the joke to "hey, the Knicks haven't won a playoff series since 2000!"

46. Daren Queenan (Lehigh, 1984-1988): "My body is my briefcase," Queenan once said cryptically, apparently meaning that his body is what he took to work. A 6-foot-4 small forward, he ended his time at Lehigh with 2,703 points and 1,013 rebounds. He eventually won the CBA slam dunk contest and became a naturalized citizen of Belgium. If there's ever a dunk contest in Bruges, I would still put my bones on this dude.

Never heard of him; I can’t say I saw a lot of “committed to Lehigh” players in my old Street & Smiths.  Points for being closest on the list to have the last name “Queef.”  I also didn’t know people moved TO Belgium – how white did this dude wanna be? (Side note - remember, women who queef are people too.)

45. Danny Ferry (Duke, 1985-1989): He was at least as good at basketball as Jay Bilas is at Twitter.

What? Klosterman seems dismissive here.  Fuck that, Ferry was fucking great at Duke; the link between the Dawkins/Alarie years and the Laettner/Hurley ones.  Or does he mean to say Bilas is better at Twitter than he was at basketball? Because he was.  Nobody was ever scared of Jay Bilas when he walked onto the floor “oh shit - it’s Greg Kite’s better looking kid brother! However will will stop him from getting his 5 points and 4 boards today?!?!?!!”

44. Reggie Williams (Virginia Military Institute, 2004-2007): Here we have the third-most famous athlete ever named "Reggie Williams" who played for a team that never went .500 on the year. But he scored a metric ton (a 22.8 average over the course of 112 games), leading the nation as both a junior and a senior.

I don’t remember him, although I remember some little white kid from VMI scoring a million points a game while I was in college.  Can’t remember his name, but to show my skills I will NOT Google.  Gay Elmore? Is that right? Hahaha – “Elmore”!  Hahaha!  Anyway, this seems like a good spot to lobby for Georgetown’s Reggie Williams to be on this list; was the non-thug on those great Georgetown teams.  I dunno if he was a GREAT player, but a really really good one for sure.  Great pedigree, having gone to Dunbar for high school (“the private school version of the Northern Neck District”, as some snidely referred to it.) And I’m pretty sure nobody has any memories of him in an NBA uniform.  Not to be confused with the running back who owns the NFL record for being fucking weird.

43. Scott Skiles (Michigan State, 1982-1986): "You know, there is no way I would have Scott Skiles on this team," Bob Knight told his Hoosier roster in 1986. "But Scott Skiles is tougher than every single one of you." Scotty was arrested three times during college (once for weed, once for cocaine possession, and once for a DUI). He was a problem, but mostly for people who tried to guard him and inevitably failed. It almost seemed like he vandalized opponents. His pro career was statistically relevant (he had 30 assists in one night for the Magic, which is still a record), but it's his hard-partying college days that matter more.

I don’t care fuck-all about Skiles except that I can still picture where Brothatime!! and I were sitting watching the NCAA tournament when he made the greatest pass I’ve ever seen, still to this day: a double wrap-around that I’m pretty sure he traveled during, but was so amazing the ref choked on his whistle. Bonus points for having a last name that most closely resembles the best friend of Scott Howard, one of my favorite white ballers not named “moi.”

42. Michael Graham (Georgetown, 1983-1984): The human incarnation of Hoya intimidation.

I have no idea why he’s on this list other than he was THE face for that Georgetown-as-thugs era, as I wrote HERE "If this team walked on the court right now as 50 year-old men, I'd still drop a load in my pants. Very telling that they whupped Houston, who is maybe THE all-time team that didn't win a title, in 1984, and to this day nobody has noticed. Of course they did; Georgetown prolly would've taken the Celtics to six games that year."  I don’t think he ever scored a point or grabbed a board, I think his job was literally to leave his cell and show up at the gym to scare the shit outta people for two hours, then go back to jail.  Although I seem to remember it was him on the cover of SI after they won their surprisnly lone title in 1984.  Scored once in his whole career, and it was on the cover of SI; this reminds me of when we got out yearbooks one year and flipped to the football section, which featured a guy on our team named Jimmy, and I quote from the yearbook,  “pounding yet another opponent into submission.” Upon seeing this, Brothatime!! spoke the truth by pointing out that Jimmy "makes one fucking tackle all year, and it's in the goddam yearbook." As a side note, enjoy Jimmy’s wide array of Cy Young-esque pitches HERE. (Sample: "2. The Equalizer: Made all hitters equal – to Barry Bonds.")

41. Fennis Dembo (Wyoming, 1984-1988): Undoubtedly the only Wyoming cager who'll ever be on the cover of Sports Illustrated, he probably would have been recruited by Kentucky had his name been Dennis Fembo.

Fennis Dembo!  I can’t remember if it was him or Derrick Chievous that once stood in front of an opponent trying to inbound the ball and shouted “check!”  After hearing this we never passed up an opportunity to do this ourselves; we succeeded exactly 0 out of 89,762 times, but we got a kick out of it every fucking time. Dembo ensures that Dick Cheney will only ever be the second-greatest shooter out of Wyoming.

40. Eric "Sleepy" Floyd (Georgetown, 1978-1982): When recalling the 1982 NCAA title game, people tend to mention two things — Michael Jordan's clutch jump shot from the left wing, and James Worthy intercepting a miscalculated pass from Hoya point guard Fred Brown. Yet if Brown doesn't turn it over, Jordan's jumper might be a footnote; everyone watching that game expected Mr. Narcolepsy to score on that final possession. Never sleep on the Sleepy.

I refuse to comment on this because I can’t believe “never sleep on the sleepy” made it to the internet.  Even I have standards, albeit not when it comes to women, or anything else other than college basketball players from three decades ago.

39 and 38 (tie). Phil Ford (North Carolina, 1974-1978) and Walt Hazzard (UCLA, 1962-1964): Both represented the class of their respective programs without drawing undue attention to themselves.

I know I’m prolly too ACC-centric but how does Phil Ford not go higher 39/38? 3-time All-American, first ACC player ever to score 2000 points and 600 assists? Okay, I don’t actually give a shit, I can’t work up too much steam here.  And I don’t care about Walt Hazzard other than to point that decades after winning 10 NCAA titles in 12 years, the Bruins still had to share it’s court with the goddam volleyball team; I used to see all those fucking vb lines on the court and scream “YOU’RE FUCKING UCLA, FOR GOD SAKE!! WTF!!” Of course I’d also scream “JUST LET THE FUCK GO AND GET ANOTHER ONE, THERE’S MORE EGGOS IN THE FUCKING BOX ASSHOLE!!  YOU'RE EATING WAFFLES, WHICH MEANS YOU'RE RICH!!!  JUST GET MORE!” at the screen, but that’s neither here nor there. Also made you rich when I was a kid? Soft butter.

37. Chris Jackson (LSU, 1988-1990): Before changing his name and being unjustly persecuted for his political ideals, Jackson was a two-season Cajun superstar (he averaged over 30 a night as a frosh). As a sophomore, he played on an LSU team that had Shaquille O'Neal at center and 7-foot, 285-pound Stanley Roberts at power forward. They went 12-6 in the SEC, somehow.

And Christ, that was back when the “SEC” meant “Kentucky, and then some white guys keeping in football shape.” (You of course remember my “number of white guys on a team” rule.) That might’ve been the most under-achieving team of all time, next to those Jerome Lane/Charles Smith Pitt teams.  Backboards Lane shattered during a game: 1, Meaningful March games Lane ever played in: 0

36. Adam Morrison (Gonzaga, 2003-2006): He had the best Maui Invitational ever, and a mustache that failed. What's more collegiate than that?

I never cared about him crying after he was done playing, but I’ve been sick of people trying to claim Gonzaga’s gonna “win it all this year!” They’re the fucking Boise State of basketball, fuck ‘em.  I do give him credit for having a less-gay name than his predecessor at Gonzaga, Brook Steppe, who was also less gay-sounding than HIS predecessor at Gonzaga, Princess Larry.

35. Scott May (Indiana, 1973-1976): The textbook example of a man designed only for the college game. His kid might be similar. Both deserve recognition.

A mystery figure on that unbeaten ’76 team – I don’t think anyone on Earth has ever seen a photo of Scott May.  Creepy.  I’ve always read that if hadn’t broken his arm in the NCAA the year before, IU woulda gone both years undefeated.  Good thing, that mighta led to Bobby Knight getting a big head and being full of himself, acting like a rampaging tyrant. Shew!  Bullet dodged!

34. Rex Chapman (Kentucky, 1986-1988): I have a (possibly racist?) book in my library that described King Rex like this: "Jumps like a brother, shoots like your mother." I suppose Chapman did have a lot of 7-for-18 games in his life, but the seven he made were always worth it. He was clutch. I still have a Rex Chapman T-shirt somewhere in my parents' house. It never fit right.

Brothatime!! And I loved us some Rex when we started hearing about him coming outta Apollo High; he could jump through the roof and considered himself within his range if he could see the building the game was in - ie, my game, minus the jumping.  Well, or being allowed by the state to enter school buildings.  Jeff Jones, point guard back when UVa hoops mattered (aka The Dark Ages) also went to Apollo and still holds the record for assists-to-“how did this person get an athletic scholarship?” ratio. Also to his credit, he allegedly got drummed outta coaching at UVa for banging cheerleaders, which is to say that next time you find yourself asking “where have all our heroes gone?”, Jeff Jones is a good place to start.

33. Juan Dixon (Maryland, 1998-2002): No matter what happens, I'll always consider Dixon a greater talent than Steve Blake. And I really like Steve Blake; I just can't understand how the things Dixon did at Maryland couldn't translate to the next level. And that makes me like him more.

Who doesn’t love Juan Dixon? And he’s right that Dixon was better than Blake, who for some reason is still in the NBA; presumably in case a play about Timothy McVeigh breaks out.

32. Rick Mount (Purdue, 1966-1970): The fact that people still refer to Rick Mount as the ultimate paragon of jump shot purity is one of life's most wonderful mysteries.

I remember reading about Rick Mount in the 1983 SI article about Indiana basketball I’m still fucking looking for; he was the total package: lanky, laconic, still called the greatest pure shooter ever, and rocked the hell out of the KKK sweater/Eddie Munster hairdo combo.

31. Tom Gola (La Salle, 1952-1955): Fellows from La Salle put up bongo numbers. Gola had 2,201 career rebounds. Granted, they came during an era when boards were easier to come by — but still — how does a guy end up with more rebounds in three seasons than the number of points Patrick Ewing scored in four?

Obviously I never watched Gola, and I can’t think of a way to tie this back to ME, so let’s move on.

30. Butch Lee (Marquette, 1974-1978): The on-court star of Marquette's '77 championship was (until the ascent of Carmelo Anthony) generally viewed as the best Puerto Rican hoopster of all time, although I don't know how important that designation is (or should be). He certainly had an excellent name, particularly since his career ambition was to become a professional ball player. I can't imagine meeting someone named "Butch Lee" and thinking to myself, "I bet this guy is a terrible athlete."

He’s right about the name, and look – more Al McGuire!  “Lee” might just be a great last name, like Memphis State’s Keith Lee; “Lee” was the name of a girl I grew up with that we’d alternate crushes on each other, never timing it correctly and always passing each other like horny ships in the night.  She also became the video recorder of our high school basketball games, which is funny now that I think about it because we never actually watched these tapes as a team. So…somewhere, my old coach has piles of VHS tapes of young boys running around in nuthuggers.  Hmm. Interesting.  Also, her recording our games meant she witnessed the GREATEST WALK OF ALL TIME, which surely snuffed out any feelings she had for me for the final time. Sigh.

29 and 28. Phillip Hutcheson and John Pierce (Lipscomb, 1986-1990 and 1990-1994): This is just bizarre: Hutcheson scored 4,106 points in his career for the Bison, which — at the time of his graduation — was the most by any player at any level (back then, Lipscomb was still an NAIA program). He was then replaced by Pierce, who somehow finished his career with 4,230. So the two greatest scorers in college history just happened to play at the same tiny school, in immediate succession, for no justifiable reason.

I have no idea who these guys are; I will say I’ve never been scared of a guy named “Phillip,” on the court or off, much less I’ve never been scared of a basketball team that rolls up to the court to Springsteen. Camon.

10:12pm "Be True. another sophomore go-to song in car before basketball game." Wow. Good thing for the other team they didn't know about that - I'm sure there's nothing a basketball team fears more than a white guy who's just been pumped up by mid-tempo Springsteen studio outtakes. Bullet dodged!!!! "oh no, he's displaying fine sportsmanship and is making crisp passes!! He's been listening to Bruce!!!!!!!!!! We are FUUUUUCKED!!!"

27. Glenn Robinson (Purdue, 1991-1994): Robinson hailed from Gary, Indiana, a town so tough I'll probably get murdered by Freddie Gibbs just for making a joke about it. During the offseason, he (literally) worked as a welder; during the real season, he (figuratively) swallowed chumps alive. The best Big 10 player of the '90s.

I don’t know why Big Dog wasn’t a great pro player; he was 9 feet tall with a 300-inch wingspan who passed less often than me (hahahaha!! Wiping tears of laughter, as if that’s actually possible)(me passing, not the tears of laughter)(okay, just tears)(of anger and loneliness)(just loneliness.) He also played for The Worst Wig in Big 10 History, so.

26. Dereck Whittenburg (North Carolina State, 1980-1983): Our historical record suggests that Whittenburg was the third or fourth-best player on State's '83 championship roster; Thurl Bailey, Sidney Lowe, and Lorenzo Charles all had better post-college playing careers. Yet this contradicts the experience of everyone who watched the Wolfpack's run that March and can only remember the cherubic cat who kept ripping twine from 33 feet away.

Ahh, now you’re gonna get me all misty-eyed re: the glory days of my ACC.  Whittenburg of course has the most famous assist of all-time to the late Lo’ Charles – if it was me, of course I’d hafta pretend it wasn’t a legitimate shot from 45 feet out.  “I was open.” Anyway, WHY THE FUCK HASN’T THERE BEEN A DOC ABOUT THE STATE/HOUSTON UPSET?!!?!? Christ, if only for an excuse to show the Houston/Louisville semifinal!


Tomorrow: 25-1! Also, players I think shoulda been included (Hershey Hawkins, I'm looking at you.)


In the meantime, May Lee Raker Be With You.