Movie Reviews of Movies I Probably Won't See

ALL ABOUT STEVE
Oh, goody - another movie where a smoking hot chick somehow can't get a dude because she's "crazy." Fucking please. Guys can put up with/are used to "crazy;" someone as smoking hot as Sandra Bullock is would hafta have barb-wire in her pussy to have dudes running away from her like "Steve" does; crazy is on the same ratio to hotness scale as being funny is. Sandra Bullock would have to be Michael Jackson to not being able to get a dude. And I mean today, not when he was alive.

Probably an F- (points for making me use 2 semi-colons in one sentence.)

EXTRACT
I'm oddly curious to see this one, actually. For three reasons:

1) It's the first fucking comedy since the late 60's not to have Will Ferrell or Judd Apatow's stupid fucking mitts all over it.

2) Jason Bateman is usually pretty awesome.

3) It's got the REAL hot chick from The 70's Show; for some reason everybody had a meeting and tried to convince themselves that the redhead was the hot one. Please. Her brain-dead blonde mother was hotter.

4) Ben Affleck. Although he is the worst actor in the world, for some reason I have a feeling that Affleck will turn into the Alec Baldwin of his generation, in that he should roll in for a cameo in every movie. Drop in, 5 minutes of hilarity, drop out. The irony is of course that when he made his "I'm Alec Baldwin" cameo, he was HORRIBLE.

Probably an A-