I am now watching part of Coyote Ugly for the third time in 24 hours. This is a new low, even for me. Wow.
On one hand, I'd say this makes me no longer capable of being embarrassed. On the other, something tells me this will be considered "those heady, good ol' days" within 24 hours. Christ. Apparently I still have miles to go before I weep.The Ringer has an oral history on the godawful Coyote Ugly which, incredibly, is 20 years old now:
The real Coyote Ugly was one of a wave of so-called “bra bars” that opened in New York in the ’90s. These were grimey city bars that felt like saloons, with female bartenders who spent as much time dancing on the bar as they did pouring shots. Gilbert worked there for a year after college alongside owner Liliana Lovell.
Elizabeth Gilbert (author and former Coyote): I used to go to this dive bar called the Village Idiot in the East Village. It’s still the skankiest bar I have ever gone to in my life. The bartenders were all women and they used to light the bar on fire when men were getting too close. It had a wild, raucous energy. One night, in January 1993, I decided to go and it had been closed by the city (probably fairly). But there was a new bar across the street. As soon as I went in, I fell in love with it. It had the same energy, but not as skanky. That was Coyote Ugly. I started working there a week after it opened.
NOTE: The Village Idiot eventually reopened, and was still more raucous that the Ugly. One time when I was there a fight broke out and the bartender, wearing only electrical tape to barely cover her nipples, was in the middle of it waving a switchblade around. Also this was where Op and I went to celebrate following our court appearance, where I ended up spinning on the floor with my shirt off (at the Idiot, not court.) OMG YOU CAN READ ALL ABOUT WHY WE WERE IN COURT IN MY ALL-TIME BEST NO-SELLER, WILLIAMSBURG RATS!!!
Aaaaaaaand of course Rrthur (yes, ladies, THAT Rrthur!) back in 2006 posted the story of your hero Xmastime meeting Gwyneth Paltrow at Coyote Ugly and then, naturally, taking his clothes off:
at Coyote Ugly. think it was the '99 MLB playoffs. Op's birthday if memory serves me. we're all there watchin the Mets. Xmastime's in rare form, but its Coyote Ugly, EVERYTHING goes!!!. there's somebody with their head on the bar having shots poured into their mouth. SASSY BARTENDERS! "this is what rome was like!!!" blah blah blah ...
but wait. there's a blond at the table behind us. HOLYSHIT!!! it's Gwyneth Paltrow. we're all abuzz, "is it??? no it's not! YES IT IS!!!", but everyone's too chicken shit to go up to her, ... everyone that is except ... Xmastime.
Next thing we know, he's planted in that booth chatting it up with Ms. Thang. we all have to hang back & kick ourselves.
now this is a bit of a non-sequitur, but of all the sudden I look up and realize Xmastime is no longer at GP's table. GP and her friend are alone & talking.
I look to find him. We've previously established the disappearance factor. Finally, in the back corner of the bar, through clouds of smoke I see Xmastime. He's removing the last piece of clothing wrapped around his foot. Buck naked. Alone. Just standing there. For no apparent reason other than taking some time off from the clothes. Then, out of nowhere, he poses for a split second like some '40s b-movie actress. Hands behind his head, hip stuck out. It lasts all of 3 seconds tops.
All of the sudden, one of the SASSY BARTENDERS shows up pleading with me to make him put his clothes back on. I'm thinking, "i'm with you SASSY BARTENDER, but this is Rome!!!" The fear in her eye was troubling and suddenly her slutty bustiere looked helpless and tragic. "XMASTIME, put yer friggin clothes on!" I shouted, "fear not SASSY BARTENDER! you can go back to work!"
he was dressed in moments.
As is always the case, a price had to be paid. One cannot enjoy the decadence of life without a blood offering. And this was no different. As Ms. Rrthur approached the bar, she was informed she had been cut off, due to her friends disrobing. xmastime, however, was welcome to indulge.
[this post was posted by Rrthur]
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