Names, Emma, Ugh

One thing I REALLY suck at is remembering people's names. I can remember people's birthdays, but not their names. And this includes reading - I'll be 50 pages in, and find myself thinking "...Ethan...Ethan Frome; which one the fuck is he?" although I'll remember everything else, and will quickly re-connect everything after a few seconds. - XMASTIME

 In the past, I've had a problem with the naming conventions in a few books, such as Wuthering Heights:

I might've' started out keeping an organizational chart of who's who, especially since there's 900 fucking Cathys. Grrr.

And Crime and Punishment:

I've mentioned before how shitty I am with names HERE. And that's with names that are in English! So you can guess how thrilled I was about having to keep Russian names straight. And maybe someone could've warned me that Russians apparently assign each other about 4 different names, none of which seem to be related in any way to each other to Joe Q. American Buck like myself? Grr.

and Some of It Was Fun:

So this morning as I was walking around ("doing my thang"), and I was thinking about shit in the book, and I realized I kept referring to the author as Wurzelbacher. Wurzelbacher did this, Wurzelbacher did that, etc etc. Then I'm like hold up...the guy's name isn't fucking Wurzelbacher...what is it...(brain frying)...what the fuck's his name...and where the fuck did I get Wurzelbacher from? Wurzelbacher? Who the fuck is Wurzelbacher?

AND NOW I am adding Jane Austen's Emma to the list; besides being insufferable (halfway through, I am finally giving up grinding through it) there are two Mr. Knightleys and for some reason Austen seems to go out of her way to never point out which one is which and it's officially driven me fucking nuts so I'M OUT!! 

The books saving grace was it would eventually introduce us this delightfully easy-on-the-peepers lady.