The Daily News ranks fast-food chicken sandwiches; I will now graciously give my thoughts on each one. You're welcome in advance.
McChicken at McDonald’s - the list gives this shit but camon, it's $1. I hate it when they nuke the mayo until it feels like roiling jizz, but basically it's a huge McNugget you can add cheese to for a freaking dollar, IE my idea of what heaven must be.
Spicy chicken at Checkers - don't think I've ever been to a Checkers. From the photo, it's pretty much looks exactly like the one at McDonald's. Plus who wants to go to a place named after Nixon's loser dog?
Crispy Chicken Sandwich at Dairy Queen - used to tear me up some DQ back in the day (Ultimate Burger combo hit me up Boo!), but I never tried the chicken sandwich. I didn't have sex in a DQ bathroom, however (I don't wanna brag but that was amongst other places, thank you very much).
Original Chicken Sandwich at Burger King - I consider this to be the OG. Sometimes it's like eating cardboard but when it's right on, it's right on. Double cheese, they slather on the mayo, nomitty nom nom! For some reason over the last 35 years I have a habit, as with my lovemaking, of tearing it in half. Dunno why. Hey, I'm an enigma!
Chicken Ring Slider at White Castle - I love White Castle, and I've had the chicken rings, but not the Chicken Ring Slider. Pretty sure I can imagine what it's like. Proud to have used chicken rings to expand my already vast influence onto the next generation, if I may humbly say so myself, which I will.
Classic Crispy Chicken Sandwich at Sonic Drive-In - never had it.
Crispy Chicken Breast Slider at White Castle - never had it. More shit they've cooking up in the White Castle lab, I guess.
Crispy Chicken sandwich at Burger King - never had it. Loyal to the OG, mofos!
Spicy Crispy Chicken sandwich at Burger King - never had it. Loyal to the OG, mofos!
Big Chicken Fillet Sandwich at Hardee’s - never had it.Though it was in fact where I got chastised for playing with my nuts once, so. Ah, youth...
Classic Mother Cruncher at Checkers Drive-In - never been to a Checkers but may be worth a trip just for the name of this sandwich.
Crispy Chicken Sandwich at Culver’s - never been to a Culver's but seriously am I gonna fuck with your chicken sandwich if you're famous for something called a "butter burger"? Sorry arteries but its true. To celebrate a non-racist line from 2009 celebrating the butter burger genre, "the owner of Solly's Grille in Milwaukee naming the restaurant as a joke re: how Pat Morita from Arnold's would apologize to his girlfriend = priceless."
Crispy Chicken Sandwich at McDonald’s - Usually stick with the McChicken, but if this is the one I think it is I remember it being a blatant rip-off Chick-fil-A's classic. Was good, but haven't really thought of it since...and believe me, I've thought of McDonald's more than a few times...
Sandwich Combo at Raising Cane’s - never even heard of this place. Sounds religious-y, which has no place in the Great Chicken Sandwich Wars of 2021. Or anything, really.
Classic Chicken Sandwich at Wendy’s - great, but prefer the spicy version. Which is rare for me (especially with da womens).
Deluxe Crispy Chicken Sandwich at McDonald’s - never tried it.
Spicy Chicken Sandwich at Chick-fil-A - never tried it.
Spicy Chicken Sandwich at Wendy’s - ahhhh, another of the OGs. Along with the McChicken and BK Original, this is in the Hall of Fame for both taste and longevity. And fights well against Wendy's burger, which is the best of the "regular/shitty fast food burgers". Still haven't forgiven them for the 2012 Coffee Debacle, however.
Original chicken sandwich at Church’s Chicken - never had it.
Chicken Sandwich at Chick-fil-A - what can you say about this one? Who doesn't love this sandwich? Jews, maybe? 🤔
KFC Chicken Sandwich at KFC - been to KFC a zillion (really!) times in my life but it's never occurred to me to eat their sandwiches. It's "finger-licking good", not "here's a sandwich now your fingers won't get greasy at all so what can I lick oh look it's a bear on a tricycle reading the lyrics to How Much is That Doggie in the Window?". Think, people, think.
Chick’n Shack at Shake Shack - just as fantastic as you'd imagine. Pillow light and juicy. And like my rather brilliant comment with Wendy's, it must be good to compete with Shake Shack's burger, which is to me the single best burger out there, period.
Fried Chicken Sandwich at Popeyes - no doubt I put this at #1. Comically over-sized chicken, that wonderful Popeye's batter, I mean camon. The one ding is the bun is way too much bread but still, will be hard to pry this one out of the top spot.
Not looking forward to trying the sushi version of the chicken sandwich, btw:
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