OFAH du Jour, II

It's crazy to think that they filmed this episode and then Lennard Pearce died, then they went to his funeral, then Grandad had to die and so they filmed his funeral for the next episode (for one of the single greatest scenes in BBC history, thank you very much) and then filmed the entire episode again with Uncle Albert.

Hole in One episode. -2 versions-
The first picture the original version with Lennard Pearce aka Grandad, and the second with Buster Merryfield aka Uncle Albert replacing Lennard...the reason is that Mr.Pearce sadly passed away from a heart attack🙏#onlyfoolsandhorses #ofah pic.twitter.com/C4iB0pJQMs

— Only Fools And Horses Clips (@foolshorses_) March 31, 2023

Going on the Record About Guns in America

I am officially declaring that it's not that we can't stop the gun problem in America, it's that we won't. And yes, I mean that EXACTLY as it sounds.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

…"The Naked Gun", France, John Candy, frozen chocolate, Martin Sheen, the time I met Bruce Springsteen, real lunch hours, dogs playing poker, when dogs are so happy they don’t even notice their wagging tails are smacking into the wall, the weirdly cozy feel of 1990s sitcoms, the first snowflakes of the year, BIG BEAR!, when people ask "whaddya, too good for ______?", Dani Rojas!, being Irish, "Married with Children", Milton Reese, Telephone Free Landslide Victory, a new roll of paper towels, funny slippers, glasses on women, every minute Todd Packer is onscreen, relaxing rainy days with the Wonderful Watts of Washington, the CartierFamily Youtube channel, peanut M&Ms, finally making it to the second episode of "Last of the Summer Wine", blueberry ide(d) tea, Opening Day at Yankee Stadium, "Norsemen" on Netflix, 

🤣🤣🤣🤣

This should eventually go in LeBron's obituary. Brilliant.

Let Me Say This

People like to give Gen. Sherman a lot of shit but nobody picked up more garbage points than this crazy motherfucker.

OFAH du Jour

Okay even I’m not so sure about this.

NETFLIX SHOW IDEA:

All the characters are those iconic never-seen, offscreen ones we know & love from other tv shows like Maris, Wilson, Howard's mom, list goes on. 🤗🕺

LOOKING FOR INVESTORS, PEOPLE!

WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!!?!?!?! 😡😡😡😡😡

THIS SHIT DRIVES ME FUCKING BANANAS!!! I've been sitting for hours and then this motherfucker sits down like that DAFUCK DUDE WE ARE NOT ON A DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??!!! I repeat: 😡😡😡😡😡

I Am Officially Putting Spike Lee on Blast

For never giving us a Do the Right Thing sequel with just three hours of these guys sitting around & talking shit. 

Now That Was One Shining Moment (womp-womp)

State du Moi, II

I'm not really looking forward to turning 51. Not because I care about being another year older, but there's something much cooler about that big, fat juicy 50 number, exactly half of the most iconic number out there, that's much better than 51, which has no flair at all.

I Love STAGED!!!!!!

I just popped a hamstring sprinting back to rewatch the latest episode, I just love this show so much 🤗🤣 I wish everybody was watching it!! 🤗🇬🇧

OH FFS, III

I get that the entire concept of this drink is beyond ridiculous anyway but do we really need to see the chocolate chips as if they're dog turds falling out of the sky? 🤔🤷‍♂️

OH FFS, II

The spelling out of IYKYK completely belies the entire intent of the acronym. I don't know if this is ironic or careless or just the usual marketing play of "let's make sure we spell out everything as much as possible for the stupidest person possible so that it totally ruins the joke anyway and then in the end NOBODY fucking likes it".

Grrr. 

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “aren't you acting exactly the same way by using all these words to do the exact same thing?

Oh fuck off, faithful readers!

Oh FFS

Shouldn't it be against the goddam law to withhold any information about buttering your toast better?!?!?!? 😡

State du Moi

I just watched a woman walking into Wegmans pulling a red wagon behind her and all I can think of now is asking her "Will you be my Queen?"

Yeah But What's the Yellow Dick For?

Thoughts About Death. I Have Them.

I just wanna make it to the age where when people see my name is trending on Twitter they’ll think the worst. 

Current Events

If Trump’s always loved grabbing whatever body part he wants on the outside then he’s in for a real treat if he goes to prison. Good for him. 

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'd never noticed this 2017 Facebook comment comment from longtime Xmastime nemesis Marley, and now it's my favorite Marley line next to this classic of classics from a 2010 email:

Actually, I admit that you're intelligible, owing mostly to me

And now, we see a response from Marley himself:

That makes me sad. See: 😢

Funny is Funny but Let's Be Honest

The God/Jesus analogy is really funny but in 2023 I'd have taken another 20 seconds to tighten the whole line up. Oh well. 

RIP Mark Russell

Legendary DC political satirist Mark Russell died today. I really had no idea he was still alive, and hadn't thought of him in decades. For all I know he was a Trump-loving MAGA lunatic, or knitted Jimmy Carter socks every year for Christmas, I have no idea. But for some reason when I was a kid I found myself watching him on PBS with my mother, laughing at his piano songs along with her. I'm sure I had no idea what the hell he was talking about and was only pretending to laugh for my mother, but it's just one of those small, kinda-nothing things you remember years later that just feels nice. Thanks Mark.

Line That Just Popped Into My Head That I'll Figure Out What It Means Later

The days get worse but the years get better.

Questions. I Have Them.

Do you think black people might get more white people to take them more seriously if they said "black folks" instead of "black folk"? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Oh Oh...

 

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

…home-grown Yankees, "The Naked Gun", France, John Candy, frozen chocolate, Martin Sheen, the time I met Bruce Springsteen, real lunch hours, dogs playing poker, when dogs are so happy they don’t even notice their wagging tails are smacking into the wall, the weirdly cozy feel of 1990s sitcoms, the first snowflakes of the year, BIG BEAR!, when people ask "whaddya, too good for ______?", Dani Rojas!, being Irish, "Married with Children", Milton Reese, Telephone Free Landslide Victory, a new roll of paper towels, funny slippers, glasses on women, every minute Todd Packer is onscreen, relaxing rainy days with the Wonderful Watts of Washington, the CartierFamily Youtube channel, peanut M&Ms, finally making it to the second episode of "Last of the Summer Wine", blueberry ide(d) tea, Opening Day at Yankee Stadium, 

Thoughts. I Have Them.

I think if we all realized we're all just cunts in clown suits the world would be a much better place.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

… the "Strained Relations" episode of Only Fools and Horses, home-grown Yankees, "The Naked Gun", France, John Candy, frozen chocolate, Martin Sheen, the time I met Bruce Springsteen, real lunch hours, dogs playing poker, when dogs are so happy they don’t even notice their wagging tails are smacking into the wall, the weirdly cozy feel of 1990s sitcoms, the first snowflakes of the year, BIG BEAR!, when people ask "whaddya, too good for ______?", Dani Rojas!, being Irish, "Married with Children", Milton Reese, Telephone Free Landslide Victory, a new roll of paper towels, funny slippers, glasses on women, every minute Todd Packer is onscreen, relaxing rainy days with the Wonderful Watts of Washington, the CartierFamily Youtube channel, peanut M&Ms, finally making it to the second episode of "Last of the Summer Wine", blueberry ide(d) tea, 

A Followup on My Previous Post About DeShithead v. Disney

Florida people love to bray about the low/no taxes in Florida so it'll be funny when Ron DeShithead suddenly sticks them with a state individual income tax to pay for his pretend fight against Disney. 🤔🤷‍♂️

OH FFS Already

If you want to get rid of these fucking idiots then stop making this footage public. That's all they care about anyway; a few weeks without getting to perform on tv and they'll just fucking wander away and off into the distance for good.

If you aren't watching House Republicans' hearing on the District of Columbia you are missing sober consideration of weighty matters of state pic.twitter.com/MFq0u9zwfw

— Aaron Fritschner (@Fritschner) March 29, 2023

UPDATE: None.

 

Current Events.

Looks like Ron DeShithead has run into a victim a little tougher than some trans kids:

Gov. Ron DeSantis’ handpicked board overseeing Disney World’s government services is gearing up for a potential legal battle over a 30-year development agreement they say effectively renders them powerless to manage the entertainment giant’s future growth in Central Florida. Ahead of an expected state takeover, the Walt Disney Co. quietly pushed through the pact and restrictive covenants that would tie the hands of future board members for decades, according to a legal presentation by the district’s lawyers on Wednesday.

That declaration is valid until “21 years after the death of the last survivor of the descendants of King Charles III, king of England,” according to the document.

If I may speak for The Mouse with my rather prodigious Photoshop skills, let me say this:

20 Years Ago Tonight: The Charleston

20 years ago tonight, the smoking ban in New York City began. I know this because my band Hayday was playing the last show of our month-long residency at The Charleston on Bedford Avenue. Home of the $1 slice, the $6 Budweiser and the most inexplicably busy light show known to mankind. I should have known to hang up my Telecaster for good when the owner excitedly told me,  "My wife loves your sound!", her being 1) in front of a pizza oven 19 hours a day 2) 77 years old.

I will now take you down memory lane to revisit that historic night. Enjoy!

Oh look, here's Hayday rocking a nice set out at the Charleston. No big deal, just melting some faces. Hey, you worked hard all week; you've earned the right to have your ass handed to you by my bordering-on-the-absurdly frighteningly awesome fretwork.

Oh look, here's Xmastime bringing his buddy Dave up to play a song. I think it was Cant Hardly Wait, if memory serves me. And by "if memory serves me," I mean some kids from the Netherlands YouTubed it and are probably still filming me right now, as we speak.

Okay, here we are, rocking, blowing the roof off the place, and Dave comes over to sing into my mic and...OH SHIT!!! WE KISS!!!!!!!!!!! Dish & Brian have that "OMG" look on their faces.
And since we kissed, now God has decided to step in, and what does God do with dudes who kiss? That's right - he vaporizes them; turning them into green dust, never to be seen again.

To be honest, I have no idea why God spared me. But poor, poor Dave...ain't seen him since. Zap, gone. After our third encore that night, when the police finally showed up to disperse the crowd and I had picked out my "Tail of the Night," I remember thinking geez, what happened to Dave? And now we know. If you're gay, God will fucking vaporize you.  

Well. I guess that's it, really. Rock on, former (AND future!) Hayday fans! 

EGG FOO WHAT?! Alert

No new episode this week, everybody. But while you’re catching up on older episodes, keep in mind that my mother was 1) from the Boston area 2) roughly the same age as Sam Malone 3) named “Judy” 😬😬😬😬 

 See ya next week, everybody!  🤗🕺🥡🥡 #eggfoowhat

This. This Motherfucker.

I've been warning everybody for while now, including here, that Youngkin is being delivered as the perfect empty vessel for the Republican Party in 2024/28. He's pleasant, seems nice & smart,  even "affable" as the Tweet says. You couldn't script a more boring-as-fuck "look at me I'm a harmless dad in a fleece vest!" than this piece of garbage. And since we're now in the age of Republicans having to out-asshole each other to the far right, they can just fill up this waste of space like ketchup in a ketchup bottle with whatever terrible shit they want to and he'll deliver it with a smile and backyard BBQ and then one day everyone suddenly looks around wondering how it came to be that we're all fighting for dead rat meat in the streets while Youngkin is on one of his 12 yachts with the rest of his pals.

You've been warned! Again!

Oh Good As If I Don't Have Enough Shit to Worry About Already

Ugh du Jour

Republicans love to dismiss Democrats as being silly children for "promising to offer free stuff to people", but what we see now is Republicans doing the same thing. Except in the Democrats' case the promises are for things like healthcare & education while in the Republicans's case it's things like never having to be held accountable for crimes you may commit, and white supremacy and the further degradation of poor people. So. 

OFAH du Jour

They got no respect these days! pic.twitter.com/i5gQttCsDx

— Only Fools and Horses Lines (@OnlyFoolsLines) March 29, 2023

HOT FUZZ. And It’s Not Even Really That Close, TBH.

Here We Go Again 🤗⚾️

Countdown to Yankees Baseball: 1️⃣

Time to fuel up for Opening Day: https://t.co/DfClpbCf0M pic.twitter.com/TcwKsqgPvN

— New York Yankees (@Yankees) March 29, 2023

Ted Lassso S3E3, Just a Few Thoughts

I love Colin and don’t care whether or not he’s gay but I refuse to believe someone his size with that body could be in the Premier League 🤣🤣🤣🤗🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

I'm loving how bizarre Zava is; I expected him to be a monster so it's a nice twist. I hope he stays bizarre, but I'm *guessing* he'll be a monster soon enough and need to be disposed of.

The whole Trent Crimm as John Feinstein thing is a genius device for a show like this, and it helps that you can't help but like Trent Crimm.

For the love of fuck does anybody give a shit about the Roy/Keeley thing? JUST PUT THEM BACK TOGETHER AND WE CAN ALL PRETEND THEY NEVER BROKE UP

The way they've held Nate the Great back so far I'm guessing there's gonna be an explosive Nate/Ted moment soon enough.

Something about how happily/vigorously Roy Kent nods his head when Ted says "maths" correctly is insanely funny & rewatchable.

It's bad enough my alarm bells are going off when I saw this episode is 50 MINUTES but then I see that almost 8 minutes in, the fucking credits are still floating up on the screen!!

Yes, yes, yes, I've got a thing already about that sort of thing, thanks for not asking:

5) I’m sitting there watching the beginning of ‘Jerry McGuire’ last night and a few minutes in I start to notice that credits are still popping up on the screen. What the fuck. And by this point I don’t even mean “Tom Cruise” or “Cuba Gooding, Jr”, I mean “Music Supervisor Randy Whittman.” Camon. Credits are annoying enough, and now I check my clock and we’re NINE MINUTES IN, and we’re still having them fucking pop up??!?! And they don’t even just throw them out there, they fucking take a minute or so between them. What the fuck is this for – suspense? “Hold on…who’s the assistant cinematographer here? Who? WHO THE FUCK IS TH- oh, good. Jim Dickhead. He’s good.” I realize they’re folding them in as the movie is rolling, as if they’re part of the fucking story. Which is, I will say, a tad distracting when you’re trying to get a grip at the beginning of a flick. Luckily as I said is was only ‘Jerry McGuire’, so I already knew that I was in for 2 hours of wanting to kick the little kid in the face, Cuba Gooding screaming, and Renee Zellwigger’s face looking like Tomcat just cut one.

More Higgins please!

Zava looks like he could be 70. And does he look just like John Turturro in The Big Lebowski, and is that why they sneaked in a White Russian line?

You could call it a sports show trope but is it super strange that there was no leadup to the first game with Zava? Like, no scenes of them at practice getting to know how to play with him? Dafuck?

The physical comedy/sight gags all through the scene with Zava meeting the team were fantastic.

Are we really supposed to believe Ted didn't notice he didn't have his phone until so late in the day?

The lipstick didn't look right but it's always a good time to have Sassy in an episode.

Dammit. I didn't plan on talking about the episode - I don't think I did for last week's episode - but my dedication to you people knows no bounce. You're welcome, Earf!

Another Brilliant du Jour! 🤣🥲🤣

Holy Crap

I almost missed Eric Idle’s 80th Birfday!! 🤗🤗🤣🤣🇬🇧🇬🇧

From a post a million years ago:

Following the success of Holy Grail, reporters asked for the title of the next Python film, despite the fact that the team had not even begun to consider a third one. Eventually, Idle once flippantly replied "Jesus Christ and His Lust for Glory", which became the group's stock answer once they realised that it shut reporters up.

No matter how great Life of Brian was, Eric Idle cracking "Jesus Christ and His Lust for Glory" has to be the single funniest thing ever said out loud. I mean, I couldn't have come up with that in 100 years, and Idle just tossed it off like that. Fucking incredible. I say that over and over, and it fucking kills me. What a line. I can't imagine anything that could be funnier.

Brilliant du Jour

REDRUM! REDRUM! Okay Not Really It's Just Me Walking Down a Hallway

The hallway in the apartment building I'm in right now has the longest goddam hallway in the world; I swear it must be like living in the Pentagon. So of course the nightmare scenario is when I'm down at one end of the hall and OH FFS someone is all the way at the other end of the hall walking towards me so that we may eventually pass like ships in the night. But since it's an apartment building there's no cutaway or room or bathroom or office that I can pretend to need to duck into, so now me & whoever are just walking from miles apart towards each other. I can't lock eyes with someone for fifty fucking yards and the biggest pressure anyway is deciding when it's early enough to do the "hey" head nod, because if you do it too early then you're still staring at each other for another 15 fucking feet and so it feels like you're either on a date or you've said all your emotional goodbyes for a big sendoff and then annoy everybody by popping back in again.

Of course I can dick around with my phone for some of it, looking VERY concerned about pork belly futures, but I can't really run the risk of plowing into this person either so I do hafta look up for part of the walk. But it never occurs to me that the person on the other end might be going through the same thing, I always assume they're just fucking crushing it walking down hallways like a baller and has no interest in giving a shit whether or not there's about 90 feet of awkwardness between us. I assume I'M doing all the one worrying/changing for them, and they don't change on thing for me.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you point out a similar mindset during your high school football career over a dozen years ago?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did!

Anyway, here's how it all looked in real time:

And Some Kids Have Two Legs. 🤷‍♂️

This Really Got Me

Village greens, London pubs, Waterloo sunsets and more; any band can sing about getting up in some guts but Davies' songs are uniquely deep in their characters, narratives and general British-y 60/70s nostalgia of austerity, loss and warmth. One could argue that his songs should be in the great human being time capsule before The Beatles'. - XMASTIME

There's a lot of articles flying around right now to talk about The Kinks' latest career retrospective box set  including this one, which mentions the Davies' brothers temperaments which led to a lot of fighting but surely was the catalyst for incredible creativity:

The dynamic between the two very different brothers is the fuel for it all. Ray looks worried even when he is promising to love you all day (and all of the night). Dave looks like he’s won the pools even when he’s singing about an alcoholic clown expiring alone.

The Davies' fighting never seemed to be about the music itself, and The Kinks lasted an insane 33 years together so I can only care so much for their family drama. But more importantly, this guy really seems to know & love & understand the band, in particular their own unique Britishness (it's a word, don't bother looking it up):

Listening to these songs again, I’m struck by how vital and varied they are, and how, unlike most pop music (which rightly lives only for its moment), The Kinks transcended their time to capture the British character more completely than almost anything and anybody else.

It must be very irritating for Ray Davies to reflect on how, if The Beatles hadn’t come along, he’d be regarded as the greatest songwriter of his age. [BREAKING XMASTIME NOTE: does this make Ray the Patrick Ewing of rock & roll?] To some listeners, an album such as The Village Green Preservation Society might seem positively fogeyish and nimbyish – but we must remember that Ray was only 23 years old when he wrote it.

Hopefully my personal favourite, Sweet Lady Genevieve, will be included; how it wasn’t a number one hit (it didn’t even chart) I’ll never fathom. Maybe the lyrics – this is a love song which confesses ‘I told you never ending lies’ in its first line – are just too painful and emotionally complex for a singalong. The first half of The Journey is focused on emotions and relationships; I presume the second half will contain the social comment.

I agree! With pretty much everything the guy writes in the article! And I have no clue why Sweet Lady Genevieve, an Xmastime superslice of superslices didn't made it on this box set but fuck it, you people can enjoy it here YOU'RE WELCOME!!

YASSSSSSS!!!!! 🤗🤣🇬🇧🤗🤣🇬🇧

Ugh. Fucking Easter.

I've mentioned several times here that my single greatest moment in life so far was probably coming in 2nd place in my hometown paper's 1979 Easter Bunny Coloring Contest.

Go here for MAYBE THIS IS THE ONE I COLORED?

Anyways, it looks like this year's contest has started, so I will say this to this year's contestants:

Don't even bother, you little shits. I took down your grandfathers, I took down your fathers' and now I'm destroying you and your shitty little dreams. Put down the Husky crayon, find out where Daddy's liquor cabinet is and GTFO of my lane, losers.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

…whenever Alexis refers to someone's "journey" on "Schitt's Creek", the "Strained Relations" episode of Only Fools and Horses, home-grown Yankees, "The Naked Gun", France, John Candy, frozen chocolate, Martin Sheen, the time I met Bruce Springsteen, real lunch hours, dogs playing poker, when dogs are so happy they don’t even notice their wagging tails are smacking into the wall, the weirdly cozy feel of 1990s sitcoms, the first snowflakes of the year, BIG BEAR!, when people ask "whaddya, too good for ______?", Dani Rojas!, being Irish, "Married with Children", Milton Reese, Telephone Free Landslide Victory, a new roll of paper towels, funny slippers, glasses on women, every minute Todd Packer is onscreen, relaxing rainy days with the Wonderful Watts of Washington, the CartierFamily Youtube channel, peanut M&Ms, finally making it to the second episode of "Last of the Summer Wine", 

Questions. I Have Them.

So far Elon Musk has been a disaster at Twitter so I guess my question is how long until Twitter trades for Kyrie Irving?

OH Oh

Can't wait for Trump supporters to realize their Lord Master stole his slogan not from St. Ronny but from a wannabe witch who lost to Sleepy Joe Biden. Oh well! 🤷‍♂️

M.T.C.S.G.A.?

I had no idea what the Freeform app I just found on my phone really is, but upon opening it I see it's some kind of creative white board thingee. Whatever, it popped up for free, so I opened it up and started dicking around on it and found this:

I mean, I started out not really giving a shit about what Freeform is, and yet now I suddenly find myself with many, many questions.

No Big Whoop...

...it's only Mad Men legend Ted Chaough liking one of my Tweets 😜🕺

I Mean FFS People...

...I am NOT made of stone!

And it's true - for instance, I've told this story about a thousand times over the last 25 years:

It took me a little while to realize that most New Yorkers aren’t from New York, that like me, they were all from somewhere else. The stereotype of the “fuhggedaboutit!” NYC asshole is merely that: a stereotype. This was crystalized for me in a moment, about a month after I’d moved there, when I was at a pay phone panicking out of my mind about running late for a job interview and realizing I didn’t have a quarter. Out of the zillions of people walking by I latched my eyes onto Joe Q. Wall Street, in a suit that cost more than I’d be making if I managed to get the job. As my brain was telling me “this New Yorker is gonna tell me to go fuck myself” I heard myself spewing out my dilemma to him, and without breaking stride he said “hey, I’ve been there, buddy!” and happily slapped me a quarter without even slowing down. That’s the secret of New York City – we’re all in it together.

Family Meal

Watching the head chef run the Wegmans staff through today's hot bar menu before their shift began was a beautiful thing to watch.

Nangulance Report

Nangulance: n. the minor turbulences of life that, while small and nebulous, can collect to make your head explode. 

Not even counting my escalator escapades from the post below, the nangulance was strong this morning and about made my fucking wanna head pop off.

See other Xmastime examples of nangulance HERE.

"That's the Problem with People: They're Only Human"

This morning as I was transferring trains on the way to work, I turned the corner to where the two escalators are & glanced to see that the one I usually take, on the right, was broken. Grrrr. People were hurriedly walking up both escalators, so I just started walking up the one on the left, and of course after a few steps of huffing/huffing/bitching as I’m want to do I realize WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE - THE ELEVATOR ON THE ELFT WAS WORKING FINE! We were just walking up a moving elevator like fucking idiots! I wanted to scream what the hell are we all doing but by then it was all over, so…well I guess that’s it. Bur I mean camon, people: BE BETTER!

Take THIS, Paper Straws!!

Good old plastic. There is a line for my liberalism that I will not cross, and that line is using paper fucking straws. 

I will continue the fight. You're welcome.

DAFUCK FELLAS WHAT THE HELL WAS IN THOSE DRINKS? 😲😲😲😲

Baseball du Jour

It's a cliche and it makes your eyes roll out of your head but it's really true that no matter how many gazillion games of baseball you watch, something always happens that you've never seen before. Like...a catcher getting kicked out of a spring training game for this shit 🤣

BUT DOESN'T IT ONLY PAVE THE WAY FOR THIS BRILLIANT IDEA?!?!?!

J.T. Realmuto got thrown out of the game for... this? pic.twitter.com/mUvpviQy0U

— Jomboy Media (@JomboyMedia) March 27, 2023

Come On, NCAA

Since we're now in the College Basketball age for which:

1) the regular season doesn't matter

2) almost all the kids are freshmen and they all play for hundreds of schools all over the country and not just the Blue Bloods, meaning there's no such thing as a "real" upset anymore no matter how great a team is

3) the tournament they already have seems to fund the entire sport along with a kazillion others,

I see no reason they don't make the tournament one where every single school is invited. What would it take, 2 more rounds? 3? Oh gee, MORE March Madness, ie the only part of the season even fans give a shit about anymore? Oh gee, MORE money for everybody already making money?

I will now sit back and watch this happen.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

…Eric Idle, whenever Alexis refers to someone's "journey" on "Schitt's Creek", the "Strained Relations" episode of Only Fools and Horses, home-grown Yankees, "The Naked Gun", France, John Candy, frozen chocolate, Martin Sheen, the time I met Bruce Springsteen, real lunch hours, dogs playing poker, when dogs are so happy they don’t even notice their wagging tails are smacking into the wall, the weirdly cozy feel of 1990s sitcoms, the first snowflakes of the year, BIG BEAR!, when people ask "whaddya, too good for ______?", Dani Rojas!, being Irish, "Married with Children", Milton Reese, Telephone Free Landslide Victory, a new roll of paper towels, funny slippers, glasses on women, every minute Todd Packer is onscreen, relaxing rainy days with the Wonderful Watts of Washington, the CartierFamily Youtube channel, peanut M&Ms, 

Found One.

I don't spend a lot of time worrying about regretting the past or any "wasted" years; life is short and then we die and nobody really cares anyway.

But looking back 15 years to the day on THIS, it makes me think of what'd I'd do if I could magically become 18 again. I wouldn't have wasted my time playing high school sports or going to college. I'd have tried to start some sort of comedy/theater group and spend every minute trying to come up with funny/cool shit. I didn't get a real job until I was 40 anyway, so my years from 18-39 could've been just as full of failure and loss, but at least maybe building something, and certainly I would've been doing what I'd have wanted to do - and did, in many instances - for free anyway.

Ah well. 

Questions. I Have Them.

Were it not for school shooting legend Brenda Ann Spencer, would Bob Geldof have been in the position he was in years later to put on Live Aid?  Is it possible millions of lives have been saved by this teenage mass murderer? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Wait, What's This?!!?!

🤣 ;)

Hmm.

I'd say the common pattern is "guns" but sure, side doors, why not.

One for the History Books

It’s already hard to remember how bad the pandemic was for some of us. 😞

Questions. I Have Them.

Why does the desktop icon in my Finder look like the back of a credit card? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Questions. I Have Them.

Is it "coming down the pipe" or "coming down the pike"? I feel like everybody uses it both ways without knowing which is right and instead of our taking about 4 seconds to sort this out once & for all we all just keep doing it and pretend nobody knows it's happening.

Movie Ideas. I Have One.

Ray & Dave Davies/Mick & Keef/Pete Townsend meet up the morning after The Beatles have broken up. 

LOOKING FOR INVESTORS, PEOPLE!!! 🤗

In America

I can't believe we have conversations in this country about how fucked up our criminal justice system is without talking about how fucked up private prisons and cop quotas are. But we seem to all every day, all the time. 😡 To say nothing of the fact that we make a big deal out of people "doing their time" but then insist on making them continue to pay the price long after they're let out of prison. It's just too fucking tragic.

Happy Birfday Martin Short!

There are few things that make me happier than Martin Short, but one of those things is Martin Short as Jiminy Glick 🤣

Happy Birthday, Martin Short.
Martin has been consistently brilliant his entire career. From Three Amigos to Only Murders in the Building, he's just superb.
Here he is as Jiminy Glick, effortlessly destroying a few celebrities. pic.twitter.com/cx2S4okqii

— The Sting (@TSting18) March 26, 2023

Okay It's Official: Something Weird Is Happening at The Bojangles Near Me

TWICE in the last 6 months - not once, TWICE!! I've excitedly blathered about how singularly fantastic my Bojangles biscuits were HERE and HERE.

And now I have another great report. I got these a month or so ago and forgot I'd taken photos but I mean camon...I've loved Bojangles all my life but I'm really starting to think I need to stick my beak into the Bojangles that delivers near me. Something is in the water over there and that something is whatever makes already amazing biscuits even MORE amazing. Either I need to get a local news crew over there to sniff around or those podcasts that investigate stuff.

I will keep you people posted! 🤗

Stupid Questons. I Have Them.

If we magically weave all of history thru AI now, every decision, then wouldn’t every decision we ever make again be the right one? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Questions. I Have Them.

First Sheriff Joe, then Sheriff David Clarke and now these sh*theads. I think the lesson to learn here is that if you're a sheriff and somehow become famous, it's probably because you're a giant asshole. - XMASTIME

Does New York City have a sheriff? All these famous sheriffs we see pop up form time to time, they're always from podunk towns or cities nobody wants to go to anyway. And yet somehow, they still manage to become massive assholes with that tiny slice of power. So how would the sheriff of New York City not be the biggest asshole in the world? I guess that person doesn't exist but if they did, I'd sit back and watch a Netflixer on that guy.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

…how funny George Harrison was, Eric Idle, whenever Alexis refers to someone's "journey" on "Schitt's Creek", the "Strained Relations" episode of Only Fools and Horses, home-grown Yankees, "The Naked Gun", France, John Candy, frozen chocolate, Martin Sheen, the time I met Bruce Springsteen, real lunch hours, dogs playing poker, when dogs are so happy they don’t even notice their wagging tails are smacking into the wall, the weirdly cozy feel of 1990s sitcoms, the first snowflakes of the year, BIG BEAR!, when people ask "whaddya, too good for ______?", Dani Rojas!, being Irish, "Married with Children", Milton Reese, Telephone Free Landslide Victory, a new roll of paper towels, funny slippers, glasses on women, every minute Todd Packer is onscreen, relaxing rainy days with the Wonderful Watts of Washington, the CartierFamily Youtube channel, 

Pizza Day with The Wonderful Watts of Washington

How it started:

How is ended:

AND a behind the scenes look with our hero Chef David!! 🤗🍕

WARNNG

If anyone else finds out this is what white people do then we are fuuuuuuuuucked.