EGG FOO WHAT?! Content du Jour

As per this week's hour-long discussion on The Kinks, I put together a playlist of all of their amazing singles from the 60's. Enjoy! #eggfoowhat

#leapdaymemories

POSSIBLE NEW XMASTIME SERIES:

"Wikipedia Pages of Celebrities I've Met That Don't Mention Me"

Will keep you posted.

Something About Moi

I rarely go too long in this thing called life without thinking of the time this girl I was seeing told me that women don't like when guys at bars play drums on the table with their fingers along with the jukebox.

Unmissed Connections

Earlier on the train I was nice & comfy on a seat when suddenly the car completely filled up and finally some old guy with a walker came shuffling on & of course I spent a few seconds hoping to pretend I hadn’t registered what I was seeing yet and someone else would get up to give the guy their seat. But finally after what must have been an interminable 4 seconds I stood up to offer my seat, HALF A SECOND before the guy sitting across from me did; I got the glory of tapping the old guy’s shoulder but as I prepared to step aside for him to sit he waved me off, insisting I sit back down because he was getting off at the next stop but thanking me profusely, and when I was sitting back down my eyes locked with the other guy in the seat across from me and I suddenly pointed at him & said “this guy should get credit too” and the look in his eyes as he beamed back at me with glorious gratitude that I'll remember forever was the greatest intimate connection I’ve felt with another human being in decades.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

Ranch dressing is like police brutality, I had no idea there was so much of it out there before everybody started filming everything for social media.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

Except for Tom Hanks' ridiculous accent, Catch Me if You Can seems to be a film that is aging very, very well.

Mr. Gilbert! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Ummmm so yeah in looking at this...

....I feel compelled to point out there is exactly one person who (at 6'8", literally) stands tall above everybody else in this realm:

EGG FOO WHAT?! Episode 83

Mike yells at Greg for not carrying a comb, Greg apparently is insulting all the ladies by saying what’s attractive to him and then let’s just say that if you like The Kinks you’re gonna love this episode. #eggfoowhat

ALL THIS AND MORE HERE

Delayed Thoughts, with Xmastime

When: last night, around 11pm
Where: Wegman's
Thought: "Jesus christ it's like I'm at a fucking flip-flops convention down here"

We Are Totally Fucked

Moi, just weeks ago:

This is how every single vote in Congress is going to go from here on out:

Democrats: this is a bill we'd like to introduce that-
Republicans: this isn't a real bill, this was made by witches
Democrats: what?
Republicans: we better shoot this over to the Trump Cou - I mean, the Supreme Court
Supreme Court: this is a bill by witches and is not a real bill so there may be no vote

Swap out "vote" for "election" and that's it, people. I have no idea how the Supreme Court will rule on the Trump immunity decision but either way it's definitely a step into this direction.

Aaaaaaaand looks like they're right on schedule.

Life. It's Really Happening, Isn't It?

Imagine being born really good-looking but it’s completely wasted because you were also born during the incredibly curious era of baggy jeans.

More Return of OFFICECOW!

 

Current Events

This human piece of garbage who lost both general elections he ran in and was impeached twice got to pick 3 Supreme Court justices and it's totally going to fucking screw us all for decades.

Thanks CNN! Thanks again for the "yeah, but her emails...."! You're great!

Speaking of Curb

It's gonna be a bitch when we all start becoming whatever age Larry David was when Curb Your Enthusiasm started.

Something You Should Know About Me if We're Gonna Do This for Another 33,000 Posts

I fucking hate it when people use the word "kiddoes". Or kiddos, however the fuck it's supposed to be spelled. 😡

RIP Richard Lewis

You knew it was coming but it still sucks.

Chappelle

We all like to present Dave Chappelle as some great oracle of wisdom, and I probably do as well, but that motherfucker was clueless enough to say he was going to give Trump a chance on live tv after he was elected in 2016. I don't wanna do a smarmy "how'd that work out for everybody?" thing but I mean camon at some point we hafta call someone out for their fucking bullshit.

Arthur!!!!!! I Think!!!!!

I still can't wrap my head around exactly what this is going to be but figured I'll just take a screengrab here & someone else can explain it to me. 😜🎸🎸🎸

Questions. I Have Them.

How has The Rewatchables not done Beautiful Girls yet?

Wikipedia Questions. I Have Them.

Why the quotes for all the song titles? They're ugly to look at, and are a pain in the ass if you wanna copy/paste a bunch of them. Camon Wikipedia! 😡😡😡😡

Lovely Jubbly!

When I mentioned having a dinner party featuring Del Boys outlandish fancy drinks last week, this is one I surely had in mind 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I'm So Jealous of This I Wanna Throw Up 🤣🤣🤣🤣

5 Stars, No Notes 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Oh Guess What Good News Guys

Looks like I’ve got a pretty bad case of bullshit to solve: apparently, the chocolate at Wegman's has ZERO calories.

#nowTHISissomebullshit

Can 👏 We 👏 Please 👏 Have 👏 a 👏 Fucking 👏 Word 👏 With 👏 the 👏 Fucking 👏 Raisins 👏 People 👏 Please?? 😡😡😡😡

Why Say "Pet"?

I mean there's only one animal's shit we're all out there picking up, right?

Am I Crazy

Or do these bathroom tiles look like they're wrapped slices of White American cheese? 🤔🤷

This is a Public Service Announcement

If you’re upset about how old the president is then I’ve got some bad news for you about who gets to decide what’s funny or not funny for the country every week.

Generation Whatevs, with Xmastime

Old fuckers like me wanna make fun of how silly young people are when they take selfies with a celebrity but at least that's actual proof you met said celebrity; back in my day someone would wave around a slip of paper with some celebrity's name written on it and it seemed perfectly normal at the time to accept that as 100% proof of meeting that celebrity. 🤔🤷‍♂️

I Am a Complicated Man. 😔

A clip of Paul McCartney is going around pushing for Foreigner to be in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame; the music snob in me wanted to come roaring forth absolutely outraged but then I remembered oh yeah Paul - I call him Paul - was born in 1942; by the time Foreigner started banging out hits he was probably all "geez whoa turn that shit down, way too loud", so 🤷‍♂️.

#XOTD2014

 

Thursday, February 27, 2014

#amazingshitIsayonadailybasis

Current Events

Just another reminder that neither Trump nor his supporters have once claimed he didn't do any of the things he's accused of, they just don't want him punished for them.

I'm So Bad!

Where's JAWS?

Somebody Loves You Don't You Know It

Arthur is my 2nd-favorite Kinks album and while I've never taken the whole "was supposed to be a rock opera" thing too seriously I am excited to see it getting so much love - if you can tune in on the 2nd, do!

The first rock opera that never was 🎸

Tune in to @BBCRadio4 this Saturday 2nd March @ 3pm (UK) to hear the story and inspiration behind The Kinks' incredible 'Arthur (or the Decline & Fall Of The British Empire)' album in full! pic.twitter.com/JwpYra2fhe

— The Kinks (@TheKinks) February 27, 2024

Life. It's Really Happening, Isn't It?

At the office earlier I popped downstairs to the neighboring coffee shop after ordering from their mobile app because that's just the kinda cool, hep cat I am but when I got there the girl said their something-something machine was broken and she'd tried to recreate my Iced Mint Cold Brew as best she could but when I tasted it back at my office it didn't taste anything like it was supposed to but instead tasted like a piece of Jewish Rye bread so now I hafta figure out how to ask them to recreate it for me "wrong" again tomorrow.

Dreams. I Have Them.

All I really want out of this thing called life is for some stranger to appear at my funeral and announce to everyone else something I’d done or given them that immediately changed their life for the better, and they owe all their good fortune to me and that’s why they’re showing up to pay their respects. I don't think that's really too much for me to ask.

The Twin Towers

But I mean seriously wouldn’t all the tensions after 9/11 have evaporated if Bin Laden looked up & saw our response was just this photo with the caption, “YOU MISSED, ASSHOLE”? Riiiight??!! Then it’s hugs all around, “what are we even fighting each other for guys?” stuff, right?!?!?!

A Reminder.

Don't forget that in my presidency blowing your nose inside anywhere but the bathroom will be illegal.

Rick Sebak, Bitches!!

I've blathered on for decades now how much I've loved Pittsburgh PBS station legend Rick Sebak's great food documentaries, in particular A Hot Dog Program and Sandwiches That You Will Like, and now some thoughtful YouTube hero has compiled most of them all in one place, and lucky for you people I've found it and that place is HERE. You're welcome, Earf!

WHOA! du Jour

I love the Miracle on Ice and I love The White Shadow but I'd never realized their special "evil Soviet Russian team comes to the USA to play Carver High, for some reason" episode aired just 4 days after we'd beaten the Russians at Lake Placid.

Officecow! 10 Years Ago Today! 🐮🤗🤗🤣😜🕺

Insta Favez du Jour

(Clockwise from top left: petershear, oscar_diazx, autumnal charm, petesinjin)

Proud.

Walking back from Wegman's just now when I jostled the bag I was carrying it cradled into the nook of my arm in such a way that you're goddam with I popped a Heisman right there in the goddam hallway.

Christmas Song to Write this Year!!

 Joey Ramone Works at My Wegman's

#XOTD2009

Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Manny Tapes

My life.

 

 

"HAHAHAHAHA!!! Hey, FINALLY a day where you're not the biggest bag of hot air in the room, you fat fuck!!!!"

 

Yes, Because Black People Famously Stay Out of Jail After 91 Criminal Charges

 

I'm So Cheeky

 

Welcome to Watching TV with Xmastime

Oh No a Crisis What Will We Do

To be fair to this dipshit aren't we all just waiting around for the dumbass Republicans to start in with "hey look if all the players and coaches all have guns on them during these games..."

Slice du Jour

When I was a kid my neighbor had an 8-track of the Grass Roots’ greatest hits, which were endless. Or, endless insomuch as long as the literal tape would run, I suppose. It was a shock years later when I found out they weren’t actually a group, but rather a studio creation like many of the bubblegum hits of the jour I still love to this jour.

Side note: that neighbor’s father once duct-taped my mouth shut to shut me up during a NASCAR race on tv. How fucking awful is that? Seriously, making a kid sit through a fucking NASCAR race? Where there NO child abuse laws back then?!??

The Fall Of the Amercian Empire, Cont.

Ah yes, the new test for our young kings has arrived: "Not Looking in the Direction Someone Else Points". Grueling.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't Marley warn us all of such shenanigans 18 years ago on this very blog?"

Sigh. Yes he did, faithful readers, YES he did!

If you look in the same direction your opponent points, you lose pic.twitter.com/airyvSeb5p

— All things interesting (@interesting_aIl) February 25, 2024

Be My Baby

Like anyone I guess I get frustrated when I realize I've been pulled into a YouTube Shorts rabbit-hole, but this one just popped up and it's a little different for me. It's Bill Ehrhart, in footage that I believe also showed up in Ken Burns Vietnam doc. Ehrhart wrote Vietnam Perkasie, which longtime Xmastime buddy Serge used as the basis for one of Marah's best songs, Round Eye Blues. It's easily the single-most frank, bare and honest book I've read about the war; while most memoirs speak of "honor and duty", Ehrhart laid out bare what the soldiers in the thick of it really thought, ie just fucking surviving and getting to live the life they'd been born to barely 20 years earlier. It was brilliantly raw & honest, and I think anyone who reads it is slightly better for it. Particularly young men who are fed the fantasy of the great lie, Dulce et Decorum Est.

Thoughts on Music. I Have Them.

My least favorite genre of music is always whatever music Jeremy is involved with on any given episode of Peep Show.

Vegetables.

Potatoes are so great & everybody loves them so much people won't even let you count them as a vegetable; dafuck else is there that's so amazing people get pissed if you try to get credit for it being what it is? 🤔🤷

The Beatles Song Tier List

So here's my Beatles Song Tier breakdown, you're welcome very much!

MAKE YOUR OWN LESS GREAT LIST HERE 

EGG FOO WHAT?! du Jour

May I now rather humbly present my latest desperate effort to please Mike with more EGG FOO WHAT?! content, "THE MCDONALD'S BURGER SALAD-OFF". Enjoy! 🤗🤣😜🥡 #eggfoowhat

Funny Beatle du Jour

George Harrison definitely could've been in Monty Python, without question.

GEORGE HARRISON - born 81yrs ago today - had such a wonderful sense of humour, as exemplified here on Eric Idle’s Rutland Weekend Television show in 1975 with his ‘Pirate Song’.

pic.twitter.com/hzIE2A6cce

— Michael Warburton (@MichaelWarbur17) February 25, 2024

Last Night's Saturday Night Live

Shane Gillis' monologue was fucking terrible and I'm bitter about him being yet another so-called "cancelled" comedian who OH LOOK is now on my tv screen, but I've been blathering for years now how much I love the LiMu Emu and this sketch is fucking killer 🤗🤗🤣🤗🤣 (tho tbh I'd have cut it after "good boy", the actual final bit is underwhelming)

HAPPY BIRFDAY GEORGE!!!

George Harrison was born 81 years ago today; years ago I pointed out he was THE TEA PARTY BEATLE, and now in this interview below we see that by age 21 he was already griping about taxes.

WE LOVE YOU GEORGE! 🤗🤗🎸🇬🇧

#OnThisDay 1943: George Harrison was born.

The youngest Beatle, George had already achieved nation-wide fame by the time this interview was recorded, on his 21st birthday. He explains his ambitions for the future, and why the Beatles will never be millionaires. pic.twitter.com/gymULVQ0Gh

— BBC Archive (@BBCArchive) February 25, 2024

Questions. I Have Them.

Is God being our father without a mother mean Christians are living in the greatest Hallmark Channel movie of all time? 🤔🤷

Yes, Minister

Yes, Minister is an all-time superslice of superslices and pretty much the sole reason we got shows like Veep and The Thick of It decades later, and Sir Humphrey in this scene from the very first episode has always killed it for me. 🤗🤣🇬🇧

'Open Government', the first episode of Yes Minister, was originally broadcast on this day in 1980. pic.twitter.com/MYxBF7CnZ5

— Archivetvmusings (@archivetvmus71) February 25, 2024

Lund, Kraft & Me

As you wonderful fans already know, my favorite book of all-time is Little Follies: The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences & Observations of Peter Leroy by Eric Kraft. Kraft is easily the biggest influence on my own writing, even so far as having the idea to put the word "Williamsburg" in the title of my first book while being so kind to reply as a random-ass email I sent him when I was writing the book. The only reason he ever DID reply to me is Michael Lund, my Literary Criticism professor who introduced me to Kraft, both literally and as a writer.

A few weeks ago, prompted by who knows what, I reached out to Professor Lund just to thank him for the role he played in all this, and now he's written back. It's not a big thing and won't mean anything to anybody else, but I'm beaming right now. :)

READ PREVIOUS XMASTIME ABOUT MICHAEL LUND AND ERIC KRAFT HERE.

Missed Opportunities, with Xmastime

People of earth I am here to tell you that if my hands hadn't been full 10 minutes ago at Wegman's you'd be looking at a photo of a grown woman who is an EXACT doppelganger of Skippy Handelman right now, and when I say an EXACT doppelganger of Skippy Handelman what I mean is that she was an EXACT doppelganger of Skippy Handelman.

Ah, but alas. 😔

EGG FOO WHAT?! Tunez

Here's Mike's "Great Rolling Stones Songs After They Started Sucking" playlist we mentioned in last week's episode and while I'm legally obligated by the laws of EGG FOO WHAT?! to post this, it's beyond laughable that not only are there 52 Stones songs worthy of such consideration, but he only leaves one song from Tattoo You off, which is beyond absurd. LISTEN TO MY INCREDIBLE RAMONES AFTER ANIMAL BOY LIST INSTEAD!!! 🤗🤗❤️🎸🥁🕺

"Choppers"

One of my favorite comedy tropes is when someone older makes snide cracks about a younger person’s voracious appetite; Archie Bunker with Meathead was the absolute King of this but Rigsby has a nice run here in this early episode of Rising Damp. 🤗🤣🇬🇧

 

Welcome to Watching TV with Xmastime

Hold Up.

Carvel is just straight-up selling ground beef cakes now?

Statements. I Make Them.

At this point I feel that Hulu still not having a SKIP INTRO button in the year 2024 is just them deciding to be a fucking dick about it. 😡😡😡😡

Fab Four Foughts.

One of the many unique things about She Loves You when it first arrived in everybody's ear was that its lyrics are in the second person; one friend telling the other that SHE loves YOU instead of the standard I/you/me first person that made up 99.99% of all songs. So what happens? As of today in 2024, it remains the biggest-selling single in UK history...

...and then...

...five years later The Beatles released their SECOND biggest-selling hit Hey Jude, which is...another song written in the second person. Dafuck? Why weren't more songs written in the second person after this bit of a test model? 🤔🤷

BREAKING NEWS: Matt Berry is Just Absolutely Fucking Brilliant and That's All There is to it

I mean who else could take one syllable and absolutely crush it like this??!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I Was Wrong

Turns out the Paddington Bear I posted yesterday actually CAN be topped!!! 🤗❤️🎸🥁🕺

Speaking of Gilmore Girls

Let’s be honest nobody wants to say it but I will the Gilmore Girls band would totally destroy Friday Night Light's Crucifictorious.

Ranking My Favorite Characters of the Early 2000s Hallmark Channel Precursor TV Show, GILMORE GIRLS

Lane
The Grandmother
Luke
Sebastian Bach
Paris

Everyone else kinda sucks.

Life. It's Really Happening, Isn't It?

Sometimes I worry that people aren't aware of how I single-handedly, thanks to Egg Foo What?!, made adding cheese to this sandwich possible in 2023. And that makes me sad. See:  :(

Big Birthday!

Happy Birfday to my all-time rock & roll partner Dish!!! I've mentioned him here a thousand times before; here's me & Rrthur (YES, ladies, THAT Rrthur) going on & on about him from the landmark 2021 re-release of The Happy Scene's TAKE MY TEENAGE HEAD.

ROCK ON, DISH!🤗🤗🎸🥁

Xmastime · Dishing on Dish!

Say What You Will About Bobby Knight...

 ...but he was 100% right about John Wooden.

A Note About EGG FOO WHAT?!

Wow, apparently we talked about way more interesting stuff a year ago.

Oh FFS....

...I am not made of stone, people!

Questions. I Have Them.

Are the Trump sneakers good for my bone spurs?

Life's Not Fair

Ideas. I Have Them.

A 10-part Netflix series but it's just me waiting people out until they break down and do the ADD WATER bit for the coffee machine so I never have to.

Insta Favez du Jour

(Clockwise from top left: sarah.morganartwork, darkgloomyart, naridarbandi, ryanzipp)