More Happy Birfday Big Bear

2 more classic bits. Enjoy!

Big Bear Already Understands How the World Works

Xmastime: you want some more chocolate milk?
Big Bear: yeah, but I wanna make it all by myself.
Xmastime: oh, okay.
Big Bear: you can be my assistant.
Xmastime: okay, cool.
Big Bear: now Mr. Assistant, would you please, open the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Sure.
Big Bear: ....and, now would you please, pour the milk into the cup (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Yup.
Big Bear: Okay, and now Assistant would you please, take the top off of this (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician, pushes can of Ovaltine to me)
Xmastime: Okay.
Big Bear: ...aaaaaaaaaaaand dump some of it in the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: You know, it seems like I'm the one doing all the work.
Big Bear: Well, that's because you're my assistant.
Xmastime: Ah. Gotcha.
Big Bear: And you'll tell my mom and dad I did it all myself, right?
Xmastime: Yes sir.

Conversations with a First Grader

Today was Big Bear's first day of first grade. He told me all they did all day was play, to which I replied "well, tomorrow they're gonna get serious about you learning stuff, you know", to wit:

Xmastime: They're gonna teach you how to read.
Big Bear: I already know how to read.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you how to write.
Big Bear: I already know how to write.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you math.
Big Bear: I already know math. 
Xmastime: Well. (long pause...) I guess there's no reason to go back, then.
Big Bear: Probably not.

Big Bear Memory du Jour

(walking with Big Bear to pick Cherry Bomb up from school and trying to gauge if we could make it home before it started raining, or if I needed to call for a car service)

Xmastime: how long does it take to get from Cherry Bomb's school to home?
Big Bear: same as it does from home to her school.

Boom!  :)

 Full Xmastime Big compendium HERE.

Happy (Almost!) Birfday Big Bear!

Tomorrow is Big Bear's 5th birfday!  His party is today; to celebrate, I will be posting one Big Bear Memory Post for each year   :)

POST 4: Age 4

Friday, April 02, 2010

Big Bear Already Understands How the World Works

Xmastime: you want some more chocolate milk?
Big Bear: yeah, but I wanna make it all by myself.
Xmastime: oh, okay.
Big Bear: you can be my assistant.
Xmastime: okay, cool.
Big Bear: now Mr. Assistant, would you please, open the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Sure.
Big Bear: ....and, now would you please, pour the milk into the cup (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Yup.
Big Bear: Okay, and now Assistant would you please, take the top off of this (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician, pushes can of Ovaltine to me)
Xmastime: Okay.
Big Bear: ...aaaaaaaaaaaand dump some of it in the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: You know, it seems like I'm the one doing all the work.
Big Bear: Well, that's because you're my assistant.
Xmastime: Ah. Gotcha.
Big Bear: And you'll tell my mom and dad I did it all myself, right?
Xmastime: Yes sir.

 

Happy Birfday Big Bear!

One of my all-time favorite memories, going to Build-a-Bear  :)

For his second birthday, I got Big Bear a gift certificate to Build-a-Bear. Saturday being 3 weeks from his THIRD birthday, I figured it was time to go and, you know, let him finally get his present. So me, Mamalizza and Cherry Bomb headed with him into the big city to get his new best friend - after a quick stop for ice cream, some of which almost made it into his mouth (the hair term "frosted hi-lites" now makes sense to me), we found ourselves at Build-a-Bear. On a Saturday. Seeing the crowd I immediately wanted to run out into the street to kiss a moving bus, but luckily I knew he'd want a dinosaur stuffed animal, and the dinosaurs were all downstairs, which was virtually empty.

For those unfamiliar, the process is you pick out what animal you want (bear, dog, whatever), which is as yet unstuffed. Then you pick out whatever clothes/accoutrements you want your new buddy to have, and then you have it "come to life!" ie stuffed with stuffing. Now, this place has EVERYTHING POSSIBLE you can think of for you animal - shirts, pants, suits, every sports team jersey home and away, whatever. Astronaut, cop etc. Mamalizza and I were on top of Big Bear, excitedly trying to shove things on him for his new T-Rex - "Fireman?!?!? ooooh, look, Yankees uni! Rock star/guitar leather jacket!!" But he'd have none of it - about 9 seconds in he had already picked out a shirt (a natty, short-sleeve knit polo) and a pair of sensible, multi-seasonal canvas sneakers. We kept after him to "jazz things up" but he had what he wanted; I almost teared up when finally he looked at me and says quietly, as if with hurt feelings, "he already HAS a shirt." So that was that, and we went upstairs to "give birth!"

Here we are - Big Bear is stepping on the pedal to stuff his T-Rex, while apparently I am desperately trying to get his attention that I am having a heart attack.

T-Rex now stuffed, Big Bear is now "giving him a bath," while I apparently have stuck my finger into a light socket.

Here we are at the computer, entering info for the birth certificate. Big Bear is the one on the left.

Here's me & Big Bear leaving, with his new best buddy safe & snug in his new "condo." I know what you're thinking - "Condo? Grrreeeeeeeaaaat, one MORE motherfucker to bail out!!!"


On the way to T-Rex' new home!!!! And before you even ask, YES I did, and NO theirs don't go sideways.

HERE HE IS!!! With a nice, cotton underpant thrown in for modesty. Big Bear wants his name to be "Dartucheetoo." I'm gonna try to persuade him to go with "Samuel."

Whoops, forgot the best part - as if he wasn't enuff of a nerd, our new guy is a bird watcher!!!! :)

Xmastime, Big Bear and Samuel - look out NYC ladies!!!!!

Build a Big Bear

For his second birthday, I got Big Bear a gift certificate to Build-a-Bear. Saturday being 3 weeks from his THIRD birthday, I figured it was time to go and, you know, let him finally get his present. So me, Mamalizza and Cherry Bomb headed with him into the big city to get his new best friend - after a quick stop for ice cream, some of which almost made it into his mouth (the hair term "frosted hi-lites" now makes sense to me), we found ourselves at Build-a-Bear. On a Saturday. Seeing the crowd I immediately wanted to run out into the street to kiss a moving bus, but luckily I knew he'd want a dinosaur stuffed animal, and the dinosaurs were all downstairs, which was virtually empty.

For those unfamiliar, the process is you pick out what animal you want (bear, dog, whatever), which is as yet unstuffed. Then you pick out whatever clothes/accoutrements you want your new buddy to have, and then you have it "come to life!" ie stuffed with stuffing. Now, this place has EVERYTHING POSSIBLE you can think of for you animal - shirts, pants, suits, every sports team jersey home and away, whatever. Astronaut, cop etc. Mamalizza and I were on top of Big Bear, excitedly trying to shove things on him for his new T-Rex - "Fireman?!?!? ooooh, look, Yankees uni! Rock star/guitar leather jacket!!" But he'd have none of it - about 9 seconds in he had already picked out a shirt (a natty, short-sleeve knit polo) and a pair of sensible, multi-seasonal canvas sneakers. We kept after him to "jazz things up" but he had what he wanted; I almost teared up when finally he looked at me and says quietly, as if with hurt feelings, "he already HAS a shirt." So that was that, and we went upstairs to "give birth!"

Here we are - Big Bear is stepping on the pedal to stuff his T-Rex, while apparently I am desperately trying to get his attention that I am having a heart attack.


T-Rex now stuffed, Big Bear is now "giving him a bath," while I apparently have stuck my finger into a light socket.


Here we are at the computer, entering info for the birth certificate. Big Bear is the one on the left.


Here's me & Big Bear leaving, with his new best buddy safe & snug in his new "condo." I know what you're thinking - "Condo? Grrreeeeeeeaaaat, one MORE motherfucker to bail out!!!"


On the way to T-Rex' new home!!!! And before you even ask, YES I did, and NO theirs don't go sideways.


HERE HE IS!!! With a nice, cotton underpant thrown in for modesty. Big Bear wants his name to be "Dartucheetoo." I'm gonna try to persuade him to go with "Samuel."


Whoops, forgot the best part - as if he wasn't enuff of a nerd, our new guy is a bird watcher!!!! :)


Xmastime, Big Bear and Samuel - look out NYC ladies!!!!!

Kind-of Valentine's's Day Memories

From 2010:

I can kinda take or leave chocolate, but I understand that Valentine's Day is all about the chocolate (tho it drives me fucking nuts.)  Either way, I can say without a doubt that my single favorite memory involving chocolate is THIS FROM April 2010   :)

BIG BEAR ALREADY UNDERSTANDS HOW THE WORLD WORKS

Xmastime: you want some more chocolate milk?
Big Bear: yeah, but I wanna make it all by myself.
Xmastime: oh, okay.
Big Bear: you can be my assistant.
Xmastime: okay, cool.
Big Bear: now Mr. Assistant, would you please, open the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Sure.
Big Bear: ....and, now would you please, pour the milk into the cup (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Yup.
Big Bear: Okay, and now Assistant would you please, take the top off of this (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician, pushes can of Ovaltine to me)
Xmastime: Okay.
Big Bear: ...aaaaaaaaaaaand dump some of it in the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: You know, it seems like I'm the one doing all the work.
Big Bear: Well, that's because you're my assistant.
Xmastime: Ah. Gotcha.
Big Bear: And you'll tell my mom and dad I did it all myself, right?
Xmastime: Yes sir.

Le Chocolat

I can kinda take or leave chocolate, but I understand that Valentine's Day is all about the chocolate (tho it drives me fucking nuts.)  Either way, I can say without a doubt that my single favorite memory involving chocolate is THIS FROM April 2010   :)

BIG BEAR ALREADY UNDERSTANDS HOW THE WORLD WORKS

Xmastime: you want some more chocolate milk?
Big Bear: yeah, but I wanna make it all by myself.
Xmastime: oh, okay.
Big Bear: you can be my assistant.
Xmastime: okay, cool.
Big Bear: now Mr. Assistant, would you please, open the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Sure.
Big Bear: ....and, now would you please, pour the milk into the cup (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Yup.
Big Bear: Okay, and now Assistant would you please, take the top off of this (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician, pushes can of Ovaltine to me)
Xmastime: Okay.
Big Bear: ...aaaaaaaaaaaand dump some of it in the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: You know, it seems like I'm the one doing all the work.
Big Bear: Well, that's because you're my assistant.
Xmastime: Ah. Gotcha.
Big Bear: And you'll tell my mom and dad I did it all myself, right?
Xmastime: Yes sir.

Valentine's Day Memories: 2010

I can kinda take or leave chocolate, but I understand that Valentine's Day is all about the chocolate (tho it drives me fucking nuts.)  Either way, I can say without a doubt that my single favorite memory involving chocolate is THIS FROM April 2010   :)

BIG BEAR ALREADY UNDERSTANDS HOW THE WORLD WORKS

Xmastime: you want some more chocolate milk?
Big Bear: yeah, but I wanna make it all by myself.
Xmastime: oh, okay.
Big Bear: you can be my assistant.
Xmastime: okay, cool.
Big Bear: now Mr. Assistant, would you please, open the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Sure.
Big Bear: ....and, now would you please, pour the milk into the cup (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Yup.
Big Bear: Okay, and now Assistant would you please, take the top off of this (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician, pushes can of Ovaltine to me)
Xmastime: Okay.
Big Bear: ...aaaaaaaaaaaand dump some of it in the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: You know, it seems like I'm the one doing all the work.
Big Bear: Well, that's because you're my assistant.
Xmastime: Ah. Gotcha.
Big Bear: And you'll tell my mom and dad I did it all myself, right?
Xmastime: Yes sir.

HAPPY 19th BIRFDAY......

.....to my godson Big Bear!!! :) Here he is, age 3, trying to rip a tree out of the ground with one hand…AND HE DID IT, PEOPLE! HE REALLY DID IT!

I can not believe the kid's 16 17 18 19 already...I have way too many great memories, a billion of which are in the blog over the last 19 years, so I'll just post this moment from when he was born:

Minutes after he was born, his dad brought him out to meet us all. Then the two of them got on an elevator to go downstairs. For something, I have no idea what. There were maybe 10 of us, and we're all just kinda standing there watching them get on the elevator, and a few minutes later we're all still standing there, chatting or whatever, and the elevator door opens. And standing there is some kid, looks to be about 10 or 12. Everybody's just kinda standing there looking at him, and finally I say "Jesus christ...how the hell long have we been standing here?"

ZERO LAUGHS!!! My greatest line ever, no laughs. ZERO!!!!

Still bugs me to this day....here's a great Big Bear moment: 

Today was Big Bear's first day of first grade. He told me all they did all day was play, to which I replied "well, tomorrow they're gonna get serious about you learning stuff, you know", to wit:

Xmastime: They're gonna teach you how to read.
Big Bear: I already know how to read.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you how to write.
Big Bear: I already know how to write.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you math.
Big Bear: I already know math. 
Xmastime: Well. (long pause...) I guess there's no reason to go back, then.
Big Bear: Probably not.

Back in 2012 via HERE:

(walking with Big Bear to pick Cherry Bomb up from school and trying to gauge if we could make it home before it started raining, or if I needed to call for a car service)

Xmastime: how long does it take to get from Cherry Bomb's school to home?
Big Bear: same as it does from home to school.

HAPPY 18TH BIRFDAY...

.....to my godson Big Bear!!! :) Here he is, age 3, trying to rip a tree out of the ground with one hand…AND HE DID IT, PEOPLE! HE REALLY DID IT!

I can not believe the kid's 16 17 18 already...I have way too many great memories, a billion of which are in the blog over the last 18 years, so I'll just post this moment from when he was born:

Minutes after he was born, his dad brought him out to meet us all. Then the two of them got on an elevator to go downstairs. For something, I have no idea what. There were maybe 10 of us, and we're all just kinda standing there watching them get on the elevator, and a few minutes later we're all still standing there, chatting or whatever, and the elevator door opens. And standing there is some kid, looks to be about 10 or 12. Everybody's just kinda standing there looking at him, and finally I say "Jesus christ...how the hell long have we been standing here?"

ZERO LAUGHS!!! My greatest line ever, no laughs. ZERO!!!!

Still bugs me to this day....here's a great Big Bear moment: 

Today was Big Bear's first day of first grade. He told me all they did all day was play, to which I replied "well, tomorrow they're gonna get serious about you learning stuff, you know", to wit:

Xmastime: They're gonna teach you how to read.
Big Bear: I already know how to read.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you how to write.
Big Bear: I already know how to write.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you math.
Big Bear: I already know math. 
Xmastime: Well. (long pause...) I guess there's no reason to go back, then.
Big Bear: Probably not.

Back in 2012 via HERE:

(walking with Big Bear to pick Cherry Bomb up from school and trying to gauge if we could make it home before it started raining, or if I needed to call for a car service)

Xmastime: how long does it take to get from Cherry Bomb's school to home?
Big Bear: same as it does from home to school.

HAPPY 17TH BIRFDAY...

......to my godson Big Bear!!! :) Here he is, age 3, trying to rip a tree out of the ground with one hand…AND HE DID IT, PEOPLE! HE REALLY DID IT!

I can not believe the kid's 16 17 already...I have way too many great memories, so I'll just post this moment from when he was born:

Minutes after he was born, his dad brought him out to meet us all. Then the two of them got on an elevator to go downstairs. For something, I have no idea what. There were maybe 10 of us, and we're all just kinda standing there watching them get on the elevator, and about 2 minutes later we're all still standing there, chatting or whatever, and the elevator door opens. And standing there is some kid, looks to be about 10 or 12. Everybody's just kinda standing there looking at him, and finally I say "Jesus christ...how the fuck long have we been standing here?"

ZERO LAUGHS!!! My greatest line ever, nuthin. ZERO!!!!

Still bugs me to this day....here's a great Big Bear moment: 

Today was Big Bear's first day of first grade. He told me all they did all day was play, to which I replied "well, tomorrow they're gonna get serious about you learning stuff, you know", to wit:

Xmastime: They're gonna teach you how to read.
Big Bear: I already know how to read.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you how to write.
Big Bear: I already know how to write.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you math.
Big Bear: I already know math. 
Xmastime: Well. (long pause...) I guess there's no reason to go back, then.
Big Bear: Probably not.

Back in 2012 via HERE:

(walking with Big Bear to pick Cherry Bomb up from school and trying to gauge if we could make it home before it started raining, or if I needed to call for a car service)

Xmastime: how long does it take to get from Cherry Bomb's school to home?
Big Bear: same as it does from home to school.

Big Bear Already Understands How the World Works

Xmastime: you want some more chocolate milk?
Big Bear: yeah, but I wanna make it all by myself.
Xmastime: oh, okay.
Big Bear: you can be my assistant.
Xmastime: okay, cool.
Big Bear: now Mr. Assistant, would you please, open the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Sure.
Big Bear: ....and, now would you please, pour the milk into the cup (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: Yup.
Big Bear: Okay, and now Assistant would you please, take the top off of this (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician, pushes can of Ovaltine to me)
Xmastime: Okay.
Big Bear: ...aaaaaaaaaaaand dump some of it in the milk (waves hand dramatically as if he were a magician)
Xmastime: You know, it seems like I'm the one doing all the work.
Big Bear: Well, that's because you're my assistant.
Xmastime: Ah. Gotcha.
Big Bear: And you'll tell my mom and dad I did it all myself, right?
Xmastime: Yes sir.

HAPPY BIRFDAY...

...to my godson Big Bear!!! :) Here he is, age 3, trying to rip a tree out of the ground with one hand…AND HE DID IT, PEOPLE! HE REALLY DID IT!

I can not believe the kid's 16 already...I have way too many great memories, so I'll just post this moment from when he was born:

Minutes after he was born, his dad brought him out to meet us all. Then the two of them got on an elevator to go downstairs. For something, I have no idea what. There were maybe 10 of us, and we're all just kinda standing there watching them get on the elevator, and about 2 minutes later we're all still standing there, chatting or whatever, and the elevator door opens. And standing there is some kid, looks to be about 10 or 12. Everybody's just kinda standing there looking at him, and finally I say "Jesus christ...how the fuck long have we been standing here?"

ZERO LAUGHS!!! My greatest line ever, nuthin. ZERO!!!!

Still bugs me to this day....here's a great Big Bear moment: 

Today was Big Bear's first day of first grade. He told me all they did all day was play, to which I replied "well, tomorrow they're gonna get serious about you learning stuff, you know", to wit:

Xmastime: They're gonna teach you how to read.
Big Bear: I already know how to read.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you how to write.
Big Bear: I already know how to write.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you math.
Big Bear: I already know math. 
Xmastime: Well. (long pause...) I guess there's no reason to go back, then.
Big Bear: Probably not.

Happy (Almost!) Birfday Big Bear!

Tomorrow is Big Bear's 5th birfday!  His party is today; to celebrate, I will be posting one Big Bear Memory Post for each year   :)

POST 3: Age 3 

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Big Bear Loves His Godfathah

(this morning)

Big Bear: can you get me some chocolate milk?
Xmastime: you got it, buddy (getting up from couch)
Big Bear: and when you get back, I'm gonna punch you in the stomach.
Xmastime: really?
Big Bear: yeah. hurry up.

Xmastime Classic: 14 Years Ago Today

Saturday, June 13, 2009

FRIDAY NIGHT KIDDIE FIGHTS!!!

A while ago I came up with the idea of FRIDAY NIGHT KIDDIE FIGHTS. I was gonna stage a boxing tournament between Big Bear, Short Bus, Husky and Paddy Mac; record myself announcing the "fights" on the radio. Then I would interview them for their post-fight comments, and hilarity would ensue. I even had the script planned out:

ROUND ONE: Short Bus vs. Paddy Mac
As the bell rings for the first round, Paddy Mac is distracted upon overhearing someone in the crowd claim their ticket to the event was tax-deductible cause the ticket was donated to a charity, which Paddy Mac of course knows does not mean it's totally free, since if a taxpayer contributes cash or short term capital gain property to a public charity, and that cash and property is greater than 50% of his or her adjusted gross income, then any additionally contribution (including long term capital gain property) to any charity in that same year can not be deducted. As he's trying to explain this to the person, time on the bout runs out and Short Bus is declared the winner without having to leave his corner.

ROUND ONE: Big Bear vs. Husky
The bell rings and Husky, upon realizing who is walking towards him with a pair of gloves looking to hit someone, says "oh, HELL no!" and leaves the ring. Found five minutes later at a Pizza Hut buffet line.

CHAMPIONSHIP BOUT: Big Bear vs. Short Bus
Right before the bell they greet each other in the center of the ring; Big Bear gives Short Bus a hug. And since he knows how to hug but not RELEASE, the hug slowly turns into the two of them sliding onto the ground, grappling. Short Bus yelling "get off me!", Big Bear shouting "Good luck in the fight, buddy!!" Eventually, after 10 minutes of the crowd working itself into a frenzy, Big Bear is declared the winner since technically Short Bus wasn't physical enough to even start the fight; also, everybody "has better shit to do on a Friday night." After about 30 minutes they're peeled off each other and, after my final interviews with the puny-lists (beep) we all go to Bounce U.

Of course, this whole thing will never happen cause I'm too lazy to get it together. But what a great idea, right?

FRIDAY NIGHT KIDDIE FIGHTS!!!

A while ago I came up with the idea of FRIDAY NIGHT KIDDIE FIGHTS. I was gonna stage a boxing tournament between Big Bear, Short Bus, Husky and Paddy Mac; record myself announcing the "fights" on the radio. Then I would interview them for their post-fight comments, and hilarity would ensue. I even had the script planned out:

ROUND ONE: Short Bus vs. Paddy Mac
As the bell rings for the first round, Paddy Mac is distracted upon overhearing someone in the crowd claim their ticket to the event was tax-deductible cause the ticket was donated to a charity, which Paddy Mac of course knows does not mean it's totally free, since if a taxpayer contributes cash or short term capital gain property to a public charity, and that cash and property is greater than 50% of his or her adjusted gross income, then any additionally contribution (including long term capital gain property) to any charity in that same year can not be deducted. As he's trying to explain this to the person, time on the bout runs out and Short Bus is declared the winner without having to leave his corner.

ROUND ONE: Big Bear vs. Husky
The bell rings and Husky, upon realizing who is walking towards him with a pair of gloves looking to hit someone, says "oh, HELL no!" and leaves the ring. Found five minutes later at a Pizza Hut buffet line.

CHAMPIONSHIP BOUT: Big Bear vs. Short Bus
Right before the bell they greet each other in the center of the ring; Big Bear gives Short Bus a hug. And since he knows how to hug but not RELEASE, the hug slowly turns into the two of them sliding onto the ground, grappling. Short Bus yelling "get off me!", Big Bear shouting "Good luck in the fight, buddy!!" Eventually, after 10 minutes of the crowd working itself into a frenzy, Big Bear is declared the winner since technically Short Bus wasn't physical enough to even start the fight; also, everybody "has better shit to do on a Friday night." After about 30 minutes they're peeled off each other and, after my final interviews with the puny-lists (beep) we all go to Bounce U.

Of course, this whole thing will never happen cause I'm too lazy to get it together. But what a great idea, right?

My New Favorite Weekly Conversation

Scene: End of t-ball game

Coach Op: great job guys! everybody had fun, right? (kids cheering, hand-slapping etc)
Big Bear: (lone voice amongst celebrating kids) who won?
Coach Op: well, everybody won, we didn't keep score, we're here to have fun, right guys! (more cheering, general excited happiness etc)
Big Bear: (pulling me a side, pseudo-whispering, very concerned) we REALLY won tho, right?
Me: well, well, we don't actually keep score, so-
Big Bear: (lights up) no no, I did, I know the score!
Me: really? (bemused)
Big Bear: yeah yeah, it was, ummmm (pretending to go thru the scoring in his head for a moment) Giants 168, ummm, (pretending to go thru the scoring in his head for a moment) Mets 2! We won! Giants won!
Me: well, we only batted about 15 times as a team. I don't really know how we could've-
Big Bear: we won! We won!!!!!!! (Running around announcing score)

Hey, the kid's a competitor!! :)

Conversations with a First Grader

Today was Big Bear's first day of first grade. He told me all they did all day was play, to which I replied "well, tomorrow they're gonna get serious about you learning stuff, you know", to wit:

Xmastime: They're gonna teach you how to read.
Big Bear: I already know how to read.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you how to write.
Big Bear: I already know how to write.
Xmastime: Oh. Well, they're gonna teach you math.
Big Bear: I already know math. 
Xmastime: Well. (long pause...) I guess there's no reason to go back, then.

Big Bear: Probably not.

;)

Xmastime & Big Bear: A Real Life Conversation

Xmastime: So, meet any ladies at the beach?
Big Bear: No.
Xmastime: Oh, camon (playful wink, elbow in the ribs)  Mama's in the other room, buddy, you can tell The Godfathah.
Big Bear: Nope.
Xmastime: Really? No ladies?
Big Bear: Nope

(long pause)

Big Bear: How 'bout you? Any girls?

Sigh.  Coupla lonely fellahs.  Depression in Spiderman underoos, wafting off a ceiling fan.


;)

Happy (Almost!) Birfday Big Bear!

Tomorrow is Big Bear's 5th birfday!  his party is today; to celebrate, I will be posting one Big Bear Memory Post for each year   :)

POST 1: Age 2 

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Me & Lil Bear Chllin! :)

Ohoh. Shark!!! I don’t appear as concerned as I would’ve thought. Well. The shark does have blond hair. And of course my nonchalance is all an act. “Christ,” I remember thinking “if they can get to Seacrest, they sure as shit can get my big ass…”


Here’s me waiting patiently for the attack while the shark does his stomach crunches and leg lifts. The fluffing part of the shark attack business, I guess.


Now the shark has lost a contact lens. This attack is going very slowly…ironically, I’m getting hungry.


Me & Lil Bear set to pose for the camera; I’ve shown him how to do the patented Xmastime “I’m #1!” finger. He does not look impressed.


“Hey asshole!! Around here, we do the two fingers!! Get it right!!!!”


Lil Bear wins, we do the two fingers. Apparently while I try to look like Fozzie Bear.

Re-Assigned

The other day, Lil Bear informed me that he was no longer "Lil Bear." He let me know that HE is now "Big Bear." Which means, obviously, I am no longer Big Bear. What happens to big bears when they've been supplanted? I mean, I'm not "Bigger Bear"...that just sounds stupid. I'll come up with something, I guess.

I reckon I'll let him be Big Bear. Heck, he's earned it. I just won't tell him that he'll always be Lil Bear to me. :)















ps - til the first time he whups my ass, of course.