Today’s Episode of “Say, Is This Guy Single?”

OFAH OTD

35 years ago today this amazing scene aired. The episode was Strained Relations, in which Del Boy and Rodney buried Grandad just weeks after Lenard Pearce, who played Grandad, had died. Rodney accuses Del of having too much fun at the reception after the wake. Amazing.

On this day, 33 years ago, we witnessed one of the most emotional speeches in Only Fools and Horses.

Grandad had just passed away and Rodney can't understand Del Boy's behaviour.

Brilliant writing, and wonderful acting by David Jason. pic.twitter.com/bjmIdfM7wJ

— Derek Trotter (@DelBoy_ofah) February 28, 2018

 

A CRIME HAS BEEN COMMITTED!!!

A little over a year ago I told you people about my greatest achievement: getting something included on a Wikipedia page!

ALAS - on a whim today I checked in on the site...and my bit has been removed.  :(

I don't know why it was removed, but I do know all you Xmastime fans will unite and take to the streets over this madness!!!!

Mad Dog on Horses

On the great Chris "Mad Dog" Russo, from the single greatest blog post of all time:

1:27 Dog just tried to say "Colorado." After three fly-bys, finally just plowed thru it "Carararro." Sounds like a Chinese guy ordering Sammy Hagar’s tequila. Ugly.

Francesa regularly bores his listeners to tears talking about horse racing while Dog has never spent a minute giving a shit about it. So of course do yourself a favor and listen to this three-minute clip from many years ago of Dog "calling" a horse race. :)

Ah, The Cuts

Much is made (rightfully so) of Herb Brooks being the last man cut from the 1960 gold medal hockey team, but I for one never thought to wonder who was the last man cut from the 1980 gold medal team. And now I know. 

Thoughts. I Have Them.

Apparently, a drawback to being one of the greatest basketball players of all time is that it gives you the confidence to believe you can cut your own hair. 🤔 😬

Wizards Game Tonight!

Good luck to whoever wants to mess with this gang!

2020 Goals: write a made-for-tv disaster movie about this fucker. #WizCrashLanding

Well that’s it, I guess. Except oh look, haircut!!

Of Course. Right on Schedule.

Last Stop on This Train

To anyone who has lived in New York City for more than 5 minutes the subway map isn't iconic, it's whatever word means "more than iconic". It was created in the 1970's by Michael Hertz, who just died:

There was already a system map (or “diagram,” as some preferred to call it), a colorful Modernist thing created by the Italian designer Massimo Vignelli and introduced in 1972. It was fun to look at — the Museum of Modern Art in New York has that version in its collection — but few users loved it, in part because the Vignelli map didn’t relate the underground to the aboveground.

“It was the 1970s,” Arline L. Bronzaft, a psychologist who worked on Mr. Hertz’s replacement map, told Newsday in 2004. “People were fearful of going on the subways. We wanted people to use the map to see the sights of New York.”

The map that Mr. Hertz’s firm came up with included streets, neighborhoods and other surface reference points. And it depicted the city and its signature elements like Central Park and the waterways in a fashion more reflective of reality — the park wasn’t square, as on the earlier map, and the water wasn’t beige.

The new map was a group effort. An M.T.A. committee led by John Tauranac studied various designs and gathered input. A Japanese painter and designer working for Mr. Hertz, Nobuyuki Siraisi, rode every subway line with his eyes closed so that he could better feel the curves in the routes. (One of the complaints about the Vignelli diagram was that it was done entirely in straight lines.)

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “don't you have a bunch of subway memories?"

Sigh. Yes I have, dear readers. Yes I have.

My Thoughts on Last Night's Debate

Tough to look presidential when you keep having to act like Arnold Horshack.

Your Wednesday Gift

Most of these are fantastic.

Still a Classic

The Office: The Acting Writers

The Office famously was one of the few (if not only) sitcoms who utilized several writers as actors. I've gone through each of the four actors and listed what I think are great episodes, then put the ones I think are just stone-cold classics in red. You're welcome!

BJ NOVAK (Ryan Howard)
Wrote 15 episodes

- Threat Level Midnight (2011)
- Happy Hour (2010)
- Prince Family Paper (2009)
- Safety Training (2007)
- The Fire (2005)
- Sexual Harassment (2005)
- Diversity Day (2005)

I consider almost half of his episodes to be great but only 3 as classics. But I'd put his classics up against almost anyone else; they're not just "A"'s, they're "A+"'s.

MINDY KALING (Kelly Kapoor)
Wrote 22 episodes

- Michael's Last Dundies (2011)
- The Sting (2010)
- Secret Santa (2009)
- Niagara: Part 2 (2009)
- Niagara: Part 1 (2009)
- Golden Ticket (2009)
- Frame Toby (2008)
- Ben Franklin (2007)
- The Injury (2006)
- The Dundies (2005)
- Hot Girl (2005)

WOW. That Frame Toby to Secret Santa run is EPIC. The Injury is a lot of people's favorite episode (including BJ Novak's), while The Dundies was an early instant-classic. Definitely wins this by pure numbers.

PAUL LIEBERSTEIN (Toby Flenderson)
Wrote 16 episodes

- Stress Relief (2009)
- Goodbye, Toby (2008)
- Cocktails (2007)
- The Coup (2006)
- The Carpet (2006)
- The Client (2005)
- Health Care

Stress Relief may be one of the all-time highlights of the show, and certainly pushed it up into the stratosphere of popularity (airing after a Super Bowl helped). And The Coup has always been one of my all-time favorites.
 
MICHAEL SCHUR
Wrote 10 episodes

- The Negotiation (2007)
- The Return (2007)
- Branch Closing (2006)
- Christmas Party (2005)
- Office Olympics (2005)

The Negotiation is just laugh after laugh, and Christmas Party set the stage for future classic Christmas specials.

Happy 77th Birfday!

To George Harrison, the Tea Party Beatle and Godfather of Kickstarter who broke the ice with George Martin.

And this always fascinates me:

Finally, the film really never investigates the real mystery of Harrison: What was he so morose about?...Harrison... has always had a sense of the aggrieved about him. I just don't know what the source of it was. In Harrison's mini-autobiography at the front of I Me Mine, the unasked-for collection of his song lyrics, he seems mostly unhappy about … the travel indignities he suffered during the Beatles years.

Besides having the best Beatles solo record with All Things Must Pass, which includes superslices What is Life?, Apple Scruffs, Waiting on You All and the title track, my top 5 George songs with the Beatles are:

Here Comes the Sun
Something
I Want to Tell You
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Piggies

The single most UPLIFTING moment in any Beatles song might have actually come from the Dark Horse himself, ie coming out of the middle 8 of Here Comes the Sun. Kills me every time. Beat that.

Of Course. Right On Schedule.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

Miracle is a good movie pretty much solely because the makers of it were smart enough to use the earlier HBO documentary Do You Believe in Miracles? almost word for word. 

Miracle on Ice Stat du Jour

‪I’ve seen the doc 1000 times but only just now did I realize that in its first two games of the 1980 Olympics the Russians outscored their opponents 33-4. 😬‬

Do You Believe in Miracles?

The best sports documentaries are ones that can be enjoyed by people who don’t know or care about the sport itself. And this is a perfect example for someone like myself. 

40 Years Ago Today

Cut & Paste RIP

Me, back in 2013:

I honestly think the odds of my somehow having stumbled upon inventing the personal computer are much greater than my having come up with cut/paste.

Anyway, that guy sadly just died.

Ah, the Wisdom of the Children

Umm...

...can someone explain to me why Swingin' Party is the most popular Replacements song on Spotify? 

RIP BOB

25 years ago today, Bob Stinson died. He was single-handedly responsible for starting The Replacements. If it wasn’t for him, nobody would ever know who Paul Westerberg was. 

He was a man child. If you read the brilliant Trouble Boys by Bob Mehr, you’ll wonder how he made it to age 34.  

He was a genius. An awful, awful genius. 

Here he is a million years ago. 

CNN's The Windsors first episode was fantastic in its pacing, documentary footage and ability to distill events/characters for idiots like me. But when spending almost an hour on Prince Edward's being a playah, how the hell could they have totally not mentioned Freda Dudley Ward, with whom he had an 16-year affair?

Regrets. They are Real.

OFAH du Jour

“I didn't know you were good at maths, Del Boy.”🤣

State du Moi

Just saw a woman on Bumble who lists her age as 58 and as for kids “doesn’t know yet” and that kinda makes me wanna meet her cuz that’s funny as hell. 🤗

Thoughts. I Have Them.

We should teach young adults birth control by making them play Monopoly with a group that includes a 4 year-old. 

Conversations with a 4 Year-Old, Vol. XIX

Me: I’m leaving tomorrow, buddy. Gonna miss me?

Him: No.

On This Day in History

Immediately after this photo was taken this charismatic, beautiful boy was abducted by whoever that terrifying hand to the right belonged to. He was never found. Anyway, Happy Valentine’s Day everybody. 

Every Restaurant From the First Season Of Food Paradise That I’ve Been To

The tv series as seen by me about oh, 1000 times over the past decade.

Louis Lunch (New Haven, CT) - I dinged them in my review, but it may have been because they were chinizy with the cheese when my turn came up.
White Castle (Brooklyn) - craving now.
Ray’s Pizza (NYC) - a badge of honor re: being a "real New Yorker!" always seemed to be having an opinon on which Rays restaurants were the real Ray restaurants while pretending anybody gives a shit.
Frank Pepe’s (New Haven, CT) - the best single slice of any pizza I've ever had, with those little pepperonis.
Sally’s Apizza (New Haven, CT) - really good but was no Frank Pepe's.
California Pizza Kitchen (Richmond, VA) - has anyone ever had anything at all to say about this place?
Nathan’s Famous (Coney Island) - can't think of these without being nostalgic for Brooklyn.
Peter Luger (Brooklyn) - hard to fathom there's a better steak out there.
Pat’s King of Steaks (Philly) I am a Pat's man!
Geno’s (Philly) Tho I have eaten a Geno's...while in line for Pat's. I can't believe I haven't posted about Pat's vs Geno's in my 14+ years on this blog. Wow.
Katz’s Deli (NYC) - I know it's great, but the pastrami's a LITTLE too rich for me. Prefer the one Brothatime!! found for us a few weeks ago.
Jersey Mike’s Subs (Who cares) - I love their slogan "Try our bread, it's made of wax!"
Peanut Butter & Co. (NYC) - LOVED this place, went soon after it opened with Brothatime!! Always happy to see it's stayed open.
Rutt’s Hut (New Jersey) - not much to say. Happy to go, don't remember the dog that much.
Chipshop (Brooklyn) - sad to see this one's closed. 
Union Oyster House (Boston)

Happy Valentine's Day

What with my over the top, bordering on the dangerous luck with the ladies, Valentines Day has always been a big deal for me. Let's take a walk through the years and, starting with 8th grade, see how each Valentine's Day went for our guy Xmastime.

1986: nothing
1987: nothing
1988: nothing
1989: bought rose for a girl I was into and later dated for two years. My first love. Of course by the time it got to her it had died and shriveled up. And that ended up being the highlight of our relationship.
1990: I think I got a keychain shaped like a heart from her. Ring-a-ding fucking ding.
1991: nothing
1992: nothing
1993: nothing
1994: had a girlfriend, but can't remember doing anything special. Sounds like it must have been amazing.
1995: broke up with her, inciting what surely was 4-sleeve Snackwells emergency at Stubbs Dorm.
1996: nothing
1997: nothing
1998: nothing
1999: nothing
2000: nothing
2001: nothing
2002: nothing
2003: nothing
2004: nothing
2005: nothing
2006: nothing
2007: nothing
2008: nothing
2009: nothing
2010: nothing
2011: nothing
2012: nothing
2013: nothing
2014: nothing 
2015: nothing
2016: nothing
2017: nothing
2018: nothing
2019: nothing
2020: nothing as of 2:49pm

Let's Hope This Goes Better Than It Did For Scott's Tots

It's Not All Bad News Out There

Bodega in the Bronx showing its generosity in a fun way:

Customers at Lucky Candy in the Bronx get an entirely different experience, and it's all thanks to cashier Ahmed Alwan. 

The rules are simple: If you can solve a math equation, you get five seconds to grab anything you want off store shelves and have it for free. 

"All I wanted to do was to help people," Alwan told CNN. "But I wanted to make it fun. So I made a TikTok and chose a challenge, asking them a math question. It's a way to entertain and educate people in need while putting a smile on their face, too." 

Those who answer correctly use their five seconds (and a few quarters) to scramble around the store grabbing anything from chips and ice cream to speakers and hookahs. But no matter how much they grab, or how valuable the items are, their cost is always the same: $0.

Kid pays for it all out of his own pocket, and hopes to go to school to become a pharmacist. My question is, who pays for all the shits that breaks from people frantically grabbing at stuff  on these densely-packed shelves?

But what a great kid. I'd expect some big corporation to try for some free publicity by stepping in and helping the guy.

 

Does This Make Me Better Than You?

OF COURSE THIS MAKES ME BETTER THAN YOU!!!!!

Truth.

My Top 10 Jim Halpert Pranks (All But One are On Dwight) In Chronological Order

Relocated Dwight's desk to the men's restroom (The Fight). Season 2

- Probably my favorite, the genius is then calling Dwight and his earnestly answering Jim's question.

Puts Dwight's Items In Vending machine. Following this, he hands Dwight a bag of nickels, for him to use to get his wallet back (Booze Cruise).Season 2

- Probably second favorite, with the add-on of him handing Dwight a bag of nickels to buy his stuff back

Used a macro so that every time Dwight typed his name, it appeared as "diapers" (Conflict Resolution). Season 2

 - Super simple. I wonder if this was inspired by the "Dwigt" typo during "The Client"'s Threat Level Midnight read-through?

Made high-pitched noises with Pam, hoping Dwight would schedule an appointment with an ear doctor, called "pretendonitis" (The Coup). Season 3

- The name is even funnier than the prank

Told Dwight that the Benihana Waitress couldn't remember how to butcher a goose, causing Dwight to tell her how to in violent detail (A Benihana Christmas). Season 3

- I know they did it for the comedy but it's always driven me crazy they didn't just ask the could on a date to move down one so they could all sit together.

Told Dwight that the Benihana Waitress was asleep when really Andy was telling her to close her eyes and imagine her dream home (A Benihana Christmas). Season 3

- Two great ones within seconds of each other!

Slapped Dwight across the face when Dwight claimed that "70% of attacks are from the rear" (Traveling Salesmen). Season 3

Intentionally slammed the brake smashing Dwight's face into the driver's seat when Dwight sat in the back of Jim's car saying that "The back is the safest part and the driver will always protect his side first" (Traveling Salesmen).Season 3

- Another great pairing in the same episode. Basically the same joke, but gets me every time.

Hid Andy's cell phone in the ceiling tiles then called it repeatedly. Andy again reacted violently, punching a hole in the wall (The Return). Season 3

- Maybe #3 on my list, brilliant build-up leading to Andy punching the wall...the first time.

Dressed up as Dwight and parodied his speaking style. Dwight returned the favor but was unable to successfully mimic Jim's pattern of speech and insult him for who he was (Product Recall). Season 3

Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. An overlooked, brilliant part of this one is that Jim bought the whole outift at a drugstore.

Jim convinced Dwight and Michael he was William, M Buttlicker, in a role-play to help both Dwight and Jim improve the way they speak to customers. Evidently Dwight does not do very well in the role play and Jim (Bill Buttlicker) asks to speak to Dwight's manager, Michael takes the phone from Dwight and quickly makes a million dollar sale, with one condition, Michael must fire Dwight (Customer Survey). Season 5

 Brilliantly written by having Michael get sucked into playing along as if it was real

Seemingly wrapped Dwight's chair, desk and everything on it in wrapping paper when in fact he actually replaced his chair and desk with a Christmas-wrapped cardboard version of the desk, and an incredibly loosely assembled chair. It became evident when Dwight tried to sit and everything collapsed (Moroccan Christmas). Season 6

 Truly inspired, though one of those pranks where you wonder how much time it took Jim to execute and wonder, wtf?

A man dressed like Jim, claiming to be Jim and everyone else believes is Jim takes Jim's place. Jim and Pam's actor friend, Steve, pretends to be Jim while Jim is at the dentist. Steve is Asian and pretends that he has been this whole time and Dwight just never noticed. Steve knew everything Jim knew including his sales history and his password to access his messages. He also replaced his own family photos with ones of Pam, Steve, and two Asian children (Andy's Ancestry). Season 9

 How great was the guy who went on to be such a great character on Veep?

Straight to Hell

Anyone who’s read this blog for ten minutes knows how much I love Joe Strummer. And of course Straight to Hell has always been a slice. But I feel like this video does a good job of laying out what a genius he was when it came to melody and phrasing. Stunning. 

Hey Hey Hey!

I 100% agree with this.

Fred “Rerun” Berry, motherfucker. Let’s respect greatness today. pic.twitter.com/AgSNOO4fbQ

— Super 70s Sports (@Super70sSports) February 6, 2020

In Case You Were Worried...

....that your Giant store couldn’t get any sexier...

OFAH du Jour

A great scene, with Rodney being about as Rodney as can be.

OFAH du Jour

A guy on Twitter is spending today listing his top 20 episodes. As each one comes in I'll post here, and comment. Stay tuned, people!

Meh. One of my least favorites, actually. This guy is off to a rocky start.

Great premise, but I've never really loved this one. This guy is pissing me off.

YES! One of my favorites, maybe Top 5.

Fantastic episode, and includes one of the most earnestly touching moments of any show ever.

Great episode. One of my favorite opening scenes, and great touching moment at the end when Uncle Albert explains why he did what he did.

Little high here for me, but a great episode. Great finish, plus our first Slater sighting and this hysterical exchange.

Brilliant, and includes one of the funniest moments from the whole series.

Way too high for me here, but it is the episode that introduced us to Denzil & Mike.

Sure the ending gets all the attention, and rightfully so, but I've always loved the entire episode. This is way too low for me.

I like this one but not sure it'd be in my top 20. First appearance of Marlene!

Nowhere near to being a great episode. But it still delivered one of the single greatest lines of the series.

fantastic episode from start to finish, Del Boy at his most Del Boy-est and once again Boycie steals the show.

Nope. One of the rare (if not the only) times that the premise was stupid. This guy must surely be fucking with us now.

Fantastic episode, definitely belongs in top 10. Top scene too.

LOVE LOVE LOVE this one, if only because it features all the characters together, which is always fantastic.

Brilliant episode that not only gave us Cassandra, but the most famous scene in BBC history.

Good episode but way to low for me here. Great ending, and plenty of Trigger & Boycie is always good.

Dunno if I'd put it #3 but truly a great episode, with several classic scenes. The way Del Boy says his first line here gets me every single time.

Love it, as with Class of '62 I just love it when the whole gang is in scenes together.

It's not the funniest episode, but the coach blowing up + all the gang together + its warmth means I'm happy whenever I'm watching it. Wouldn't have been my #1, but I won't argue with it either.

EPISODES I THOUGHT MAY HIT #1 WHILE I WAS WAITING:

Big Brother
Heroes and Villains
Modern Men
Time On Our Hands
Strained Relations

But He Couldn't Predict the Yankees Will Miss Didi and Betances? 🤔

Wow du Jour

Today is the first palindrome day in over 900 years:

It is February 2, 2020, or 02/02/2020, in both the MM/DD/YYYY format and the DD/MM/YYYY format. At just after 2 a.m., it was 02:02:20 on 02/02/2020.

This is the only time such a date will occur this century.

The previous palindrome date in all formats came 909 years ago on 11/11/1111. The next will come in 101 years on 12/12/2121 and after that there will not be another until 03/03/3030. 

Crackin’

Fantastic Gavin and Stacey clip for Comic Relief. Features Robin Gibb, Tom Jones and a callback to the hilarious scene of Uncle Bryn singing James Blunt. 

Happy Birfday Del Boy!

British National Treasure Sir David Jason turns 80 today. Mange tout! 🤗

LeBron

I’m pretty sure I speak for everybody when I say can we go ahead and elect LeBron President already?

Holy Crap du Jour

The Cheers episode Where Have All the Floorboards Gone?, which starred Celtics great Kevin McHale, aired on the same day that Magic Johnson announced he had HIV. 🤔

A Few Cheers Thoughts

For Sam to be the ladykiller he was while wearing clothes like that will always remain one of the greatest mysteries of the 20th century. 

Young people will never know the rage that comes from streaming services that slap a tv channel on an iconic show from a different channel. 😡

And here’s Paddy Mac with Norm! 🤗