I've stumbled into a random episode of Downton Abbey via terrestrial cable tv on my hotel room (YES people I know I owe you a live-bloging of the recent movie but how about gettting off my goddam ass for two seconds?) that I just happened to recap back in 2014, so I will now greatly please you with my five favorite lives from it. You're welcome, Earth!
- Edith, to the new pig guy: “Where did you learn about pigs?” Gee I dunno, dingbat, maybe he knows pigs because 1) he's a farmer and 2) it's 1922? I wish he’d answered “Pig school, graduated Magna Cum Pork.”
- I like Bates’ various canes hanging on the wall like a trophy
case. “This one helped me walk in here for the first time, back in 1912.
This one was in my hand when I was married to Anna. The rest I just use
to beat the shit out of people ‘cause I’m a fucking loose cannon
jackoff.”
- Mary: “We must rise to life’s challenges.” Yes, like being born
into the reigning family of an entire village with vast wealth. You
don’t want her problems; reminds me of a certain somebody.
- How many fucking times is Gillingham gonna “drop by” Downton? He’s been there almost as many weekends as Matthew during the Battle of the Somme, for fuck’s sake.
- Poor Ethan Napier. The 4th wheel. That should be a category in porn, “The Napier”: The sad sack that comes wandering into group sex scenes and never gets laid. Smiles the entire time and brings the sodas. “Hey guys!”
- Mrs. Hughes: “(something something) for the village people.” Surely Fellowes inserted this as a goof, right? How great would it be if the camera panned the bazaar stalls and in one of them was an Indian, a police chief, a construction worker, Prancer, Donner & Blitzen?
Wow Carson, thank YOU!
No comments:
Post a Comment