Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list: 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell,

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list: 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, 

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list: 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off,

These Little Shits…. 😜🤗🕺

State du Moi

I’m gonna set my Bumble age filter at “between 19 & 19” and really test the limits of this much-beloved universal saying, “hey, you never know!”

Brilliant du Jour

Ah, Back When I Was Funny…

Xmastime 10 Years Ago Today

"dye her hair orange"....wait, did...did I possibly KNOW about the future insurgence of Trump?!?!!?

Saturday, July 28, 2012

BREAKING NEWS: Sarah Palin Being an Asshole to Stay in the News

Can't wait for her to dye her hair orange tomorrow in solidarity with the NRA.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list: 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train,

Oh COME On!

Stick it to this LOSER & his “list” by enjoying the greatest music of all generations: The Happy Scene’s incredible TAKE MY TEENAGE HEAD 25th-year reissue!!

Pizza Box 2022!

4) You ever see a pizza box laying on the ground and think "hey…I wonder if there’s a slice in there"? Hell, for all you know there’s a whole pie in there. Maybe people leave full pies on the sidewalk and observe to see who looks in – if you’re the one that looks, free pizza! Of course I never do, as I know that the second I decide to start opening up trash in the middle of the street looking for food every girl I’ve ever had a crush on will turn the corner and be staring at me, but it’s really starting to gnaw away at me that I’m walking past all these empty pizza boxes that could be filled with pizzas all this time. - XMASTIME

I haven't had a pizza box posting in over 10 years (SEE MORE HERE) but here's the walkup to my hotel last night and I will say this....you're goddam right I looked.

Oops

I about jumped out of my seat with joy and then realized oh....different Wings. 😜🕺 #antonioscarpacci4ever 

TV

I don't really believe in "this can never happen again!" but that is one helluva night (The League notwithstanding, which I've never seen).

Let's Be Real Honest...

...working remotely has been hell on giving out office nicknames.

NYC Shutdown Thoughts. I Have Them.

New York City's Papaya King may be closing, just the latest in a never-ending close-down of iconic city spots. I'm not gonna do the usual waxing-on about how boo-hoo-hoo it all is, many smarter people than me THEY EXIST! have done much better summations. But just like when each and every one of my favorite Williamsburg bars shuts down I just wonder sure, I understand the bar can no longer afford the new rent....but who the hell can? I mean at some point each and every building can't be a Starbucks, can it? Just like my previous genius about the impotence of a college degree once everyone has a college degree, at some point real value disappears, doesn't it? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Fawlty Towers

You know a show is incredibly iconic when an actor is in one episode for a handful of small scenes and it's pretty much the first thing people think of when he dies 43 years later.

Our thoughts go out to the family and friends of Bernard Cribbins, who sadly passed away at the age of 93.

We'll be having a cheese salad for lunch, in honour of his memorable appearance in Fawlty Towers. pic.twitter.com/wUc57k9jy0

— GOLD (@goldchannel) July 28, 2022

Hot Take du Jour

The Stones’ Let it Loose is 5+ minutes of lazy noodling during which I guess were supposed to be thinking “oh this will build & end like Hey Jude” that just peters out after a bit. 🤔🤷‍♂️

😳😳😳😳 du Jour

RANDOM death has always scared the hell outta me. Bird shits on windshield, dude swerves, knocks into bike messenger who plows over me. Someone shoots at someone else, bullet dislodges a brick that lands on my head as I’m walking by oblivious. - XMASTIME

Exactly:

 

pic.twitter.com/df0JSYTpwI

— 1 segundo antes da merda (@1segantes) July 27, 2022

I Mean FFS du Jour

JUST LIKE IN THIS POST FROM A WEEK AGO I ASK:  why wouldn’t you add one more “yeah” for this one? 🤔🤷‍♂️

TRUE CONFESSION TIME

I've never once tried doing Pig Latin or even remotely thought it was interesting/entertaining.

Whoa Whoa Whoa...Whoa.

I'm gonna need a few days to digest - pun absolutely intended - this article. 😳😳😳😳

State du Moi

The first person who tells me whether or not I should watch the new Nathan Fielder show will determine whether or not I watch it.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list: 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear,

🤣🤣🤣🤣

#NoteScreenGrabDuJour 😜🤣🕺

State du Moi

The young woman giving me a haircut just said “wow you’ve got pretty good hair” so if you’ve been waiting to take advantage of me having any self-confidence I’d guess you’ve got about 8 minutes left before it runs out again. 💈💇💈💈🕺🕺🤗🤗

Hometown Schmometown

Bit over here reports that most millennials live within 100 miles of their hometown.

Like anytime else when I saw the word "millennial" I lit up, ready to make fun of them for being weak but...100 miles? Is that really all that uncommon? Especially when we'd hafta assume that's actually way bigger of a distance than any previous generations?

I mean ffs THIS GUY WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS TO PROTECT HIS ANONYMITY, couldn't even get the fuck away!

My home, New Jersey - it's a death trap. It's a suicide rap. Listen to the lyrics, alright. I had to get out, I gotta hit the highway, I'm a roadrunner man, I got the white line fever in my veins, I am gonna bring my girl and I have had enough, of the shit that this place dishes out. I am gonna run, run, run, and I'm - well I'm never coming back!

I currently live ten minutes from my hometown.

State du Moi

Any time I check Instagram on my laptop I feel like I'm breathing life into a Baby Boomer.😬

New Book Ad du Jour

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list: 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes,

Brilliant du Jour

This commercial from Mothers Against Greg Abbott is brilliant.pic.twitter.com/PHjq1JQLK3

— Jo 🌻 (@JoJoFromJerz) July 25, 2022

Sad

Paul McCartney thought so little of his soon-to-be-adopted daughter Heather (last seen in this live-blogging of Get Back!) that he wanted her teacher to call her Rover, like a dog. Sad!

"paul mccartney wrote a visually appealing letter to heather mccartney's teacher to be aware of her legal name change snowy was the classroom hamster that heather was then allowed to take home on one weekend"

Classic!

CALLING ALL REPUBLICANS!!!

Here's your chance to stick it to Obama: buy a book that's NOT on his elitist, freedom-hating list of socialist baby-eaters! Like THIS AMAZING ONE!!!

Don't Fall for This Shit

FANTASTIC article summing up the utter bullshit of Republicans who full-on supported Trump for 4 years but now want us to think they're fucking heroes:

Pottinger knows full well that it was Trump's lap-dog nuzzling of Putin and his constant attacks on NATO and his weakening of U.S. support for Ukraine that gave Putin the idea he could attack Ukraine and get away with it in the first place. Where was our hero Pottinger when Trump virtually disassembled the entire foreign service profession at the State Department by cutting its budget by more than 30 percent? We're supposed to thank him for his heroic decision to resign 14 days before Trump left office after helping to facilitate every stupid-ass foreign affairs move Trump made for four long years?

 Yes, even Democratic hero-of-the-moment Liz Cheney gets called out.

Congrats Mad Dog!

In honor of Xmastime Hall of Famer Chris Mad Dog Russo making it into the Radio Hall of Fame - FINALLY!! - here's maybe my 150000th repost of the single greatest blog post of all time.  

You're welcome, Earf!

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! DU JOUR

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list: 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches

Middle-Aged White Person Concession

I never really got into the Talking Heads. 🤷‍♂️

Congrats Doggie!

You people know how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE Chris Mad Dog Russo. And I don't know anything about the Radio Hall of Fame. But the idea that his old partner Mike Francesa was already in and it's taken Doggie until now is beyond lunacy.

Hot Enough for Ya? Hahahahaha I'm the Worst

Yearly regular summer post from 2006:

3) With warm weather coming up I’m bracing myself for the inevitable advice we’ll get during the first heat wave: “Stay inside with the air conditoning on.” Really? Wow, thanks! Cause I was gonna cover myself in maple syrup, put on my heaviest wool sweater and spin in circles on the baking asphalt for a while. Thanks! Jesus fucking christ. “Stay inside with the ac on.” If I could do that, Professor, then I wouldn’t give 2 shits about the fucking heat, now would I? That’s like if I wanna be a millionaire, “Have a million dollars in the bank!” thanks, assface. - XMASTIME

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list: 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog,

Happy 50 Rolls On! 🤗🕺

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list: 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks,

I've Been Called Worse

Thoughts. I Have Them.

Upon listening to The Jam's debut album for the first time in about 20 years I am reminded that they are a great singles band.

Xmastime NFT Offering

Let's start at, shall we say, $5,000?

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock,

Paddington Bear

I've been following this guy who's been putting Paddington Bear into a tv or movie scene every day for about a year now - you're welcome, Earf! - and today there's a bit over on Mentalfloss on him:

What has turned into a 16-month-long (and counting) commitment might seem extreme to anyone who doesn’t understand the Paddington hype. But Chou’s own feelings toward the anthropomorphic marmalade fanatic are far from lukewarm: 2017’s Paddington 2 is his favorite movie.

Classic from 10 Years Ago Today 🤗🕺

FINALLY

They said it couldn't be done! And I bitched and moaned to Mike until it did! You can now listen to the greatest podcast in the world, Egg Foo What?! on Spotify HERE!!

You know, because it's not 2007 anymore! 🤗🕺

UPDATE: also now available ON APPLE PODCASTS!!!!!

Dorf on The Beatles 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wow

OFAH du Jour

2 4 Thursday!

Yes faithful readers, you may mosey over to Amazon now and buy not one but TWO of my best-selling novels!!!

WILLIAMSBURG RATS: A MANNY'S TOUR OF DUTY

THE WEDDING PARTIES

Mary Tyler Moore du Jour (That Rhymes!)

As you most loyal of fans know I love love love The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and here's a preview clip before it aired in 1970. Besides some of the scenes being different note how different the theme song is, particularly how throughout the first season it says "you MIGHT just make it after all"; it later changes to "you're GONNA make it after all". Anyways, a great peak into broadcast tv from 50+ years ago and another excuse to ask you people to watch this great show.

Egg Foo What?!

You've waited all week, people - new episode is up NOW!

DON'T YOU FUCKING TEASE ME, PETER JACKSON!!!

After last year's beyond stunning Get Back, director Peter Jackson has something else up his sleeve with our beloved moptops:

“I’m talking to The Beatles about another project, something very, very different than Get Back,” Jackson told Deadline. “We’re seeing what the possibilities are, but it’s another project with them. It’s not really a documentary … and that’s all I can really say.”

"Not really a documentary"....? WTf? A scripted series? A reality show with Paul & Ringo as roommates trying to get along while in the process learning something about each other and maybe, just maybe, something about themselves? 

Jackson's Get Back has earned him the right to hear me admit I will breathlessly await this project .

In the meantime, visit my brilliant Get Back blogging of episode 1 HERE! And episode 2 HERE! And episode 3 HERE!

YOU'RE WELCOME, EARF!

Hot! Hot! Hot!

Today was the hottest day since the evening in the summer of 1999 when I was naked on my bed laying ice cubes on my chest. Then the cable went out. Then, looking through my door into the kitchen, all of a sudden the toaster, which wasn't even on, burst into flames. I didn't even get up. "Seems about right," was all I could think. - XMASTIME

Six years ago today I was in Ireland, and chuckling to myself as the locals were (literally) melting down and panicking because the temperature might hit 70 degrees. No big dig deal. Oh by the way, on a side note, let me ask you something -  WHY THE FUCK DO I NOT LIVE THERE????!! 

SEE:

Of course this kinda stuff isn't quite as funny today, where the United Kingdom, or whichever part of that whole thingee is actually Irish, is fucking melting off the planet:

And all our infrastructure was built with lower temperatures in mind. Chaos has reigned. There were train tracks on fire, roads and airport runways melting, police smashing car windows to rescue boiling dogs, forest fires, suburban houses all over London burning down, Beefeaters being given bottles of water to suckle from like baby goats, surgeries cancelled because operating theatres were too hot, ambulances being called out left right and center to treat heat exposure, people’s leather sofas and rubbish bins and fences going up in flames. Every lush green park in the south of England looked like New Mexico overnight.

Late last night, the heat broke and rain swept over London. We’ll probably get warm, cloudy days for the rest of the summer. But this heatwave was a Petri dish in which to examine precisely how fucked the country is for the rapidly accelerating climate emergency. The results do not look good.

I still have zero idea how the hell I survived 15 years in Brooklyn without any goddam air-conditioning. Wow.

Tomorrow Never Knows

Totally worth it just for the isolated Paul/Ringo rhythm track.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list: 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012,

Goals. I Have Them.

I just wanna reach an age where people are always telling me to slow the fuck down already & stop to trying to do so damn much.

Brilliant du Jour

A recap of the 'Beatles songs as old film posters' series that I've dipping in and out of over the last few months. pic.twitter.com/AtSRMdcsOb

— Stuff_By_Mark (@The_Ren1981) July 21, 2022

Thoughts. I Have Them.

How the hell was What We Do in the Shadows already an A+ show, and its somehow gotten better this season?!?!?!

Grrrrrr

I mean yeah lady he’s illiterate af but he knows what humans do in a parlor ffs 😡😡

Oh Come On

That’s silly. How the hell does hair wear pants? 🤔👎

🤔🤷‍♂️

Or maybe if an amendment directly leads us to weapons of war in the streets we should probably take a minute to agree “hey, that’s a bad amendment” and change it?

Happy Gaylord Perry Day!

THIS IS STILL FANTASTIC.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list: 

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office,

Xmastime 15 Years Ago Today

Xmastime told Boomers they were trash!

I’ve been noticing something recently. All my life, it’s always old people from “The Greatest Generation” that have hectored us young kids, pointing their wrinkled, bony fingers at us about no shortcuts!! Nothing is worth doing without hard work! Slow and steady, don’t cut corners!!

Yet every time I’m at a bodega, there’s 5 of these motherfuckers in line buying 10 lottery tickets each. Wtf? 

YEAH! Suck it, Boomers!

State du Moi

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just sitting around waiting for the next British film stuffed to the gills with a cast of British National Heroes and then I realize OF COURSE I'm just sitting around waiting for the next British film stuffed to the gills with a cast of British National Heroes!!!

Life and We Live It

Really hard to convey to young people today just how crazy bananas the 2010s were. 🤷‍♂️

Mad Men Thoughts. I Have Them.

Like a lot of folks today I re-watched the first Mad Men episode and it strikes me that the first time we see the building at all it's from a downward vantage point. Usually when introducing BIG! BUILDING! BIG! CITY!!!! cameras like to start at the bottom and look up, but Matthew Weiner did the opposite here.

I assume there's a reason - the downfall of America? Or a play off the whole "the intro avatar is Don Draper before he jumps out the window" nonsense? 🤔🤷‍♂️

Line du Jour

She watches me clean the plate up with a piece of bread.
“Shovelin’ your food into you like that,” she says. “It can’t do you a bit o’ good. An’ don’t you want a cup o’ tea?”
I tell her I do, and a slice of bread and marmalade, and she sets about the loaf. She always grabs a loaf like its a chicken whose neck she’s wringing.

Posterity du Jour

State du Moi

Two different channels are playing the exact same episode of The Office but they're like 90 seconds apart from each other and yes it is fucking with me.

Minor League BS

Pay minor leaguers a living wage - the fact that this isn't already a thing should be a fucking embarrassment to these teams. - XMASTIME, August 2021

It's fucking disgusting how shitty MLB treats its minor leaguers, and a question like the one here is ludicrous, implying that owners COULDN'T afford paying them more than apple slices, which is a joke.

Meanwhile, I absolutely HATE the Astros, but at least they're actually doing something about this problem.

Good for the Astros! I hope every other team (hellloooooooooo my beloved Yankees??!) will follow suit.

Okay, now back to hoping the Astros lose every game 10-0 and their mothers crawl out from under their front steps to bite them in the leg.

Eric Kraft, Everybody!

I've blathered on here a million times about my favorite book of all time, The Personal History, Adventures, Experiences and Observations of Peter Leroy. and its brilliant author Eric Kraft. I'm lucky enough to have a bit of a relationship with Eric - I met him in 1995 in Michael Lund's class, and it was Kraft who suggested putting "Williamsburg" in the title of my first book - and can without any restraint whole-heartedly recommend his Substack to you people. OR you lazy-asses can listen to him read entire chapters of his classics on his podcast. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a blog audience who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very entertainment that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a comment section and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a *damn* what you think you are entitled to! 

Here's a short run from my favorite story from Peter Leroy, Take the Long Way Home. You're welcome, Earf!

 

Lot to Think About Here

Like, do you actually hafta learn how to play the violin before using it as a weapon? And does this mean you'd then go from having 0 girlfriends to 0 more girlfriends? Very interesting.

The American Dream (eyeroll)

I rolled my eyes HERE a few months ago re: the lie that is "The American Dream" and how much its actually fucked over people for hundreds of years. And now we see a new article about Mad Men anticipating the decline of this so-called American Dream:

Finally, there are the two Donalds – Draper and Trump. When Mad Men ended, the idea of a Trump presidency was still the stuff of a wise-ass comedian’s after-dinner turn. It is tempting to conflate these two narcissistic, weak, manipulative, pathologically selfish, deeply insecure and eventually slightly pitiable men, given how much they seem to have in common.

But the show’s creator Matthew Weiner does identify a fault line that continues to be gallingly exploitable in American public life – there is always room for a talented grifter if he knows which buttons to push. Don Draper would probably have found Donald Trump crass. But he would have found a line, if ever Trump had wanted to open his chequebook. Because business is business. After all, what is advertising if not the ultimate fake news? Mad Men was ahead of the curve all along. But, like the best period dramas, it was a warning from history too.

Maybe not as spot-on as my own analysis from before, but you get the picture.