Trains, Planes and...Well, Just Trains I Guess

I've started taking the Metro here in DC; it sucks of course but it's also the one thing that most reminds me of living in New York, so I actually kind of love it?

Anyway, it also gives me an excuse to wow you people to highlight a few of the zillion posts I've had about the subway from back in the day, including:

Train door douchebag guy

Hipster douchebag bag guy

Coffee douchebag guy

Metrocard douchebags

iPod douchebags

Cock-blocking douchebags

Slow-moving motherfucking douchebags

Of course the subway is the single greatest setting for nangulance, including

HERE

and

HERE

But rest assured - I'll never give up my train platform dream:

The next thing on my to-do list is to show up at subway platforms and stare in the wrong direction for the train. Ever see anyone do this? Doesn't it drive you bananas? At any given moment there's 10 or 15 people staring intensely down the tracks into the tunnel; I'm gonna stare right back in their direction, looking annoyed "where the fuck is this train??!!!" One, they'll start getting pissed cause it's some dude looking in their face. Then they start thinking doesn't this dude know which way the fucking train comes? Then they're really pissed and think doesn't this dude see that everybody else is staring in the other direction??!! And me, staring, shaking my head "where the fuck is this train?" just as their heads fucking explode into a thousand pieces.