Lucky Jubbly!

After years of being jealous I don’t have access in America to  Gold Channel UK and their Only Fools and Horses weekend marathons I finally made it!! First time ever watching knowing other people are too. :) #Ireland2019 #dingle

Questions. I Have Them.

Did the plot of this movie include the fact that this shark was obviously dealing with terrible depth perception?

Perfecto

20 years ago today, David Cone threw his perfect game at Yankee Stadium. You almost think of magic when you remember Don Larsen threw out the first pitch to Yogi Berra, and it was the first time Yogi  visited the Stadium since Steinbrenner fired him years before. And on top of that it was Joe Torre's birthday...and it turns out he was at the game when Larsen threw his perfect game in 1956. I watched that game, and it was so quick - Cone only threw 88 pitches, and it seemed like each one of them was a strike. Here's a great oral history about the game:

Lindsay Berra, Yogi’s granddaughter: What I remember about being in the Steinbrenner box was that, when we realized what was happening around 4 1/2, five innings, everybody was a nervous wreck. Nobody wanted to move, except for Donnie [Larsen] and Grandpa, who were yapping the entire time. They couldn't understand what everyone was getting so worked up about. They were getting up to get hot dogs and Grandpa got his vodka, like nothing was happening.

Cone completed his perfecto having thrown just 88 pitches, by far the fewest in any of his 56 complete games. It was also a happy coincidence, as Berra's uniform number was No. 8.

Lindsay Berra: That's the kind of thing that Grandpa would have just shrugged at and said, "Go figure." I think the rest of us look at it as a crazy, mystical coincidence, being that Grandpa caught Don's first pitch and then it happened again. Grandpa had a really good relationship with Cone and Girardi. For me, that game symbolizes Grandpa's second era with the Yankees, and his ability to be there with the team that he loved.

The world moved in a blur as Cone was whisked toward the clubhouse. Girardi, Davis and Knoblauch hoisted the pitcher off the field, and Cone remembers overhearing someone arguing with media relations director Rick Cerrone about who would speak with Cone first. Cone again moved toward the bathroom in search of solitude.
Cone: I got out to the tunnel and there's Don Larsen. I went up to him and hugged him like he was my father. Nothing needed to be said.

A Few Random Thoughts on the Greatness of "Cuckoo".

- When Cuckoo began, just like everybody else I'm sure I thought oh, this is a platform for Andy Samberg. And if you had told me it'd get even funnier when he left and Taylor Lautner joined the cast, I'd have said you're probably out of your mind.

- Greg Davies is a British National Treasure, even he never does anything other than Cuckoo and his Hall of Fame character on The Inbetweeners. And if you spot hm on The Graham Norton Show, do yourself  favor and watch.

- I always hafta catch myself from demanding more Steve, as he's one of those perfect side characters where a little is perfect and juuuuust a tad more is too much.

- Is there a more delightful family to go down to the pub with?

- Ben was one of sitcom's all-time dull characters (as designed so), but how happy are you when he actually finds his true love?

- I'm assuming there will be 6th season! (fingers crossed emoji)

Apollo 11

CBS is rerunning it’s telecast in real time!!! 
https://youtu.be/zYnF31el-ik

Thought du Jour.

Really don’t understand why the suffix for porn sites isn’t .cum  🤔

Kids Today, Amirite?

I don’t wanna be the “get off my lawn!” old man but back in my day we didn’t have to be reminded not to wear flip flops to football practice.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

12 y.o. me would be embarrassed as fuck if he found out how much time I spend bitching to myself about the fact that I’ve gotten to wear my new London Fog coat a total of four times in 2 years. 

So, It's Come to This...

...I am seriously considering putting “4-Time Little League All-Star” in my Tinder profile.

RIP Jim Bouton

I read Ball Four every summer from 7th grade to 12th grade. I was re-reading it when the radio told us that Len Bias had died. One of my earliest memories of living in New York City was reading his son Michael's open letter to Steinbrenner to let Bouton return to Yankee Stadium after the death of his daughter. Bouton had been exiled due to Ball Four.

Today is Father's Day, but the date I have circled on my calendar is July 25. That is Old-Timers' Day at Yankee Stadium. Traditionally, it is the day when past Yankee stars take their annual curtain call. It is the day when my father, Jim Bouton, No. 56, the Bulldog, is snubbed, and not invited back. Although I know an invitation to attend Old-Timers' Day is an honor he can live without, it is what I wish for him this year.

You see, this past August my sister Laurie died in an automobile crash at the age of 31. She was beautiful and sweet. And as tough as it is to lose a sibling, I cannot even fathom the loss my parents must feel. Philosophers say it is because of tragedy that we give such importance to our games. Baseball, seemingly, has always been here for us. The key to baseball's future as America's favorite pastime lies in its continuity between generations.

I see this as an opportunity to get my father some extra hugs at a time in his life when he could use all the hugs he can get. It is something he would never seek for himself – he is going to kill me when he reads this – and maybe the kind of thing only a son or daughter can do for their father.

OFAH du Jour

FINALLY some good video of one of my all-time moments!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

You little plonker😂😂pic.twitter.com/Me4atIvIch

— Only Fools & Horses (@OFAHCentral) July 9, 2019

I Am Baffled...

...that as World War II was ending we dropped hundreds of Germans into Alafuckingbama and yet nobody has made a zany sitcom about it. Wtf? 🤔

Thoughts. I Have Them.

The magic in a Bob Seeger song is totally lost if you’re in a car that’s not moving. 

1985, mofos!

The fine folks over at The Ringer has a new article about how great music was in 1985 but since they don't know wtf they're talking about (other than admitting We Are the World suuuuuuuucks) I will now present to you my favorite albums from that year (in no particular order.)

Tim - The Replacements
New Day Rising - Husker Du
Flip Your Wig - Husker Du
Telephone Free Landslide Free Victory - Camper Van Beethoven
Wide Awake in America - U2
Psychocandy- Jesus and Mary Chain
Smooth Studio Crafted Teen Fodder - DT & the Shakes
Out to Pasture - Rational Herdsmen
Dressed to Watch Television - The Undecided
Fables of the Reconstruction - REM

Small Spotify playlist HERE.

Soccer/Joba

People have been giving the US Women's Soccer Team shit for having the gall to celebrate after scoring - I suppose we'd rather them quietly do each other's pigtails after the indescribable thrill of scoring in a World Cup game?

Alex Morgan, who btw happens to be smoking hot, keep this in mind of course, noted:

“I feel there is some double-standard for females in sports to feel like we have to be humble in our successes and have to celebrate, but not too much,” the star forward told reporters Friday.

“You see men celebrating all around the world in big tournaments, you know, grabbing their sacks or whatever it is,” she continued. “And when I look at sipping a cup of tea, I’m a little taken aback, and you have to laugh about it to see all the criticism. So, I’m a little disappointed in that.”

And so of COURSE this reminds me of years and years ago, PEOPLE were losing their minds about Joba Chamberlain showing his emotions on the mound by pumping his fist after a strikeout:

Four fucking days now, every sports channel is yammering about Joba's excited fist-pumping after striking out Frank Thomas, comparing it to shit like Manny Ramirez having tea and scones served to him at the plate while he pats himself on the back as another dinger leaveS the park. For fuck's sake. DISCLAIMER: I am a Yankees fan. If that automatically means in your mind I'm a Yankee homer douchebag fine, stop reading. To me there's a big dIfference between genuine excitement and practiced "look at me, ain't I sumpin?" preening. There's a difference between scoring a touchdown and excitedly spiking the ball, and scoring a touchdown and then making us sit through your re-enactment of the Michael-shoots-the-police-chief scene from The Godfather with a posse you've had flown in. For fuck's sake. Kid was just excited, let it fucking go. Enough!! 

OF WHICH I followed up hours later with this Xmastime classic:

(Joba strikeout announced as I hear it):
Announcer: "annnnnnd...struck him out!!! Joba pumps his fist, a punchout that gets the Yankees closer to Mariano! Boy is the young buck excited! The Stadium is rocking! Next up for the Blue Jays is..."

(Joba strikeout announced as Christopher "Mad Dog" Russo seems to have heard it):
Announcer: "annnnnnnnd...struck him out! Joba pumps his fist, a punchout that gets the Yankees closer to Mariano! Oooh, yeah! Now Joba has run over to Frank, he's, oh boy, he's doing the "double 6-shooters" in Frank's face! Wow! Oh oh, Joba has just pulled out a cream pie and has thrown it into Frank's face, ladies and gentlemen! Wow!!! Smushing it in reeeeeeeally good, too! Wow! Frank is on his knees crying from embarrassment now, boy how humiliating and...oh no, Joba is pulling down his pants, preparing to urinate on Frank Thomas now! The Stadium is rocking! Joba, that's too much now, that's...oh no no, Joba has pulled Frank's three year-old daughter from the stands, has thrown her on top of Frank and is now pissing on her!!! Wow what a strikeout from Joba!!!! Look at the excitement this young fellah brings to the game, he's...oh wow, Joba has just pulled out several pieces of chicken that have been sculpted to look like Frank Thomas and is now dropping them in a deep fryer in front of Frank! I don't know where Joba got chicken shaped like Frank Thomas ladies and gentleman, but boy does it look dee-licious!! Now he's hissing in his face, doing the "double 6-shooters" again! Boy, is this kid exciting. Aaaaaannd...as soon as Joba is finished digging a hole using an 85 year-old WWII veteran from the Stadium Color Guard as a shovel he's gonna...yep, he's now kicked Frank into the hole, along with what looks like...11 lbs, Michael? 11? 11 pounds of gay porn in alongside Frank. Boy oh boy, the kid's exciting, isn't he? Ah, these kids!! The Stadium is rocking!!! And now, for the Blue Jays..."

Shock du Jour

There's no way possible that anyone on planet Earth who has ever gone to Cracker Barrel would think they didn't have fried chicken on their menu...and yet, they never have until now:

With a list of meals that includes Country Fried Steak and Chicken n' Dumplins, it's almost a given that Southern Fried Chicken would be on Cracker Barrel menus. But amazingly, it took until Cracker Barrel's 50th anniversary this year for it to finally be added—and even the chain knows it was a long time coming.

Wow.  

A few Xmastime Fried Chicken posts from the past. Enjoy!

Kroger fried chicken was surprisingly good

If you put ketchup on my fried chicken I will threaten to cut you but absolutely will not

Racist Restaurant Review

The fried chicken of my youth!

Which totally sucks now

Thoughts. I Have Them.

Wondering how close we are to a sitcom featuring a character named “Alexa”, which will of course lead to hilarious confusion.

Reading du Jour

Pretty embarrassed I've only read 37 of the books on this list.

Though to my credit, Buzzfeed sure was impressed:

Here's the ones I've read:

* personal super-slice

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
Huckleberry Finn
Tom Sawyer
Pride and Prejudice
Wuthering Heights*
Jane Eyre
Moby Dick
The Scarlett Letter
Pilgrim's Progress
A Christmas Carol*
David Copperfield
A Tale of Two Cities*
Little Women
Great Expectations*
Frankenstein
Oliver Twist
Crime and Punishment*
Dracula
To Kill a Mockingbird*
Wizard of Oz
Animal Farm
The Great Gatsby
The Grapes of Wrath*
Sense and Sensibility
Tess of the d'Ubervilles
The Red Badge of Courage
The Prince and the Pauper
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man*
The Stranger*
The Catcher in the Rye
Vanity Fair
All Quiet on the Eastern Front
Gone With the Wind
Of Mice and Men*
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
Far from the Madding Crowd
Charlotte's Web

Here's a few from the list I really, really wanna read:

Don Quixote
Anna Karenina
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
The Red and the Black

Trump du Jour

Of course the odds of Trump turning his "Salute to America" into a MAGA rally ar exactly 100%, even though it's illegal:

While the president himself is not bound by the act, the July 4 event turns into a taxpayer-funded Trump campaign rally if any of the following happens: • Trump uses one of his campaign slogans: “Make America Great Again” or “Keep America Great.”
• Trump mentions the election, his reelection, or a desire to stay in office.
• Trump mentions election polling, his approval rating, or his fundraising efforts.
• Trump mentions a candidate vying for a rival party’s nomination for president.
• Trump mentions his political party or a rival political party.

He is literally incapable of talking about anything else. This is like putting Kanye in front of thousands of people and telling him he can say anything he wants as long as he doesn't call himself a genius. This is illegal, people will pretend to be "concerned", but of course we'll all just shrug and let the Toddler-in-Chief get what he wants so he doesn't throw a tantrum.

Awesome.

YAAASSSSSSSSS!!!

While still in a tizzy about the upcoming Gavin and Stacey Christmas special, now Blackadder is coming back!!!!!!

The BBC television series Blackadder is returning to television screens, according to series creator and star Rowan Atkinson.

The Sun reports Atkinson has spoken about how excited he is to create a new version of the iconic comedy series. Initially reported to be a one-off special, a new series is reportedly in the works. Atkinson has also revealed that original series stars Tony Robinson, Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie will all return for the show's new incarnation.

The new series will reportedly be set in the modern day, where the newest version of Blackadder is a university lecturer. Potential guest stars that have been spoken of include Russell Brand and Tom Hardy.

As you already may know, Blackadder Goes Forth had what's maybe the greatest finale scene of all time.

A Good Question

Mind Blown du Jour

Of all times for Americans to adopt something European, which of course we for some reason are loathe to do, it's on our Independence Day:

"Why do Americans only say 4th of July when their date is MM/DD/YYYY?"

More on a Movie I've Not Seen

Article at The Ringer HERE points out a fault with Yesterday: just because you have The Beatles songs doesn't mean you'll make them any good:

But Jack had it right the first time: The problem is him. There’s no faulting the songs on the movie’s soundtrack, which also include “She Loves You,” “A Hard Day’s Night,” and “Here Comes the Sun,” but the performances—which mostly consist of Patel accompanied by a solo, usually acoustic, guitar—are insipid and frictionless, the kind you might overhear while ordering a Bloody Mary to go with your omelet. The question posed in response to the trailers announcing Yesterday’s premise was invariably the same: Would the Beatles’ songs still be hits today? But the more pertinent question is whether Jack’s specific renditions would make a dent in the charts, and the answer, to my ears, is an unequivocal no. 

I'm reminded of a quote from the fantastic book, A Day in the Life:

"On April 26 1969, a young engineer at Abbey Road Studios named Jeff Jarratt was getting ready to work his first session with the Beatles. George Martin was unable to attend, but Martin tried to prepare the nervous Jarratt for what he was about to experience. Jarratt recalled Martin saying, "There will be one Beatle there, fine. Two Beatles, great. Three Beatles, fantastic. But the minute the four of them are there, that is when this inexplicable charismatic thing happens, the special magic no one has been able to explain."

OFAH du Jour, II

And while this isn't funny at all, following Grandad's funeral, it is maybe the greatest scene throughout the entire series.

A poignant moment in Only Fools and Horses..

We see Del Boy's senstive side.

Incredible acting from David Jason! pic.twitter.com/AKNHIxVxC2

— Derek Trotter (@DelBoy_ofah) January 30, 2019

OFAH du Jour

I really don't know how this scene of Del Boy saying goodbye to Rodders after his wedding was left off of the list yesterday.

On this day 30 years ago, the episode Little Problems aired for the first time.

We saw one of the most emotional scenes in Only Fool’s..

You really feel for Del here pic.twitter.com/soBDEn7R0O

— Derek Trotter (@DelBoy_ofah) February 12, 2019

(....trying desperately to not make a Doggie Chow Mein joke....)

Thoughts. I Have Them.

I wanna go watch Yesterday but the more I read about the more it sounds like it does the typical Hollywood nonsense of almost ruining a great premise by shoving a fucking rom-com down our throats. Same thing almost ruined Hoosiers. Damn you Richard Curtis!!

More OFAH Thoughts

Stumbled upon a list HERE of The Funniest Only Fools and Horses Scenes, and of course I have some thoughts.

10. Del's Tears after Cassandra's Miscarriage - I'm glad this made the list, as it always seems to fly under the radar on lists like these, but this is way too low. This scene should be in the top 3, for sure.



9. Rodney and Cassandra Meet - this is important of course but..."funniest"? What? No way - I'd put Del Boy's "beam me up, Snotty!"from the same episode here.

Del: Yes, 'cos I'm in stock and shares meself, yeah. I bought a few thousand shares in a little department store this afternoon. Now I've gotta phone me lawyer and me accountant. Gives you the 'ump, don't it? Excuse me, sorry, how do you spell ‘Arrods?

Woman: Capital ‘A’.

Del: Ooooooh I seee….well beam me up, Snotty!  

8. Uncle Albert's "During the War" Stories - a great gag running throughout the series, welcome anytime and anywhere.


7. "Gary" - This is Del & Rodney realizing they'd accidentally kidnapped a non-English speaking illegal immigrant, then trying to fool Raquel & Cassie by claiming he's an old friend of Rodney's named Gary. Definitely a classic.


6. Uncle Albert's Navigation (or Lack Thereof) - a running gag throughout is the 5 boats Albert were on while in the Navy - "two during peace time!", as Rodney said. It's a good gag but making this list? Nah. I'd definitely put Uncle Albert bungling his work with Del Boy to get Rodney to not take another woman out on a date.


5. Trigger - I guess Trigger in general, as a character? My favorite scene with him will always be this one (even tho Del delivered the punchline.)


4. Del's Hang Gliding Experience - The scene they mention is great, but it's when he comes back home to Rodney that I think belongs here. David Jason's delivery with "See you got home safely, Rodney" is an all-time great moment.


3. Batman & Robin - the mugging scene is great but as I mentioned in an earlier post, when they show up at the costume party and it turns out to be a wake is even funnier...unfortunately there's no video available online.


As for the first two, what is there to say? They're simply the funniest moments ever, and I'm pleased they put the chandelier #1.

2. Del Fall Through the Bar - why do they give away the punchlines in these damn video titles?!?!?!?!!?


1. The Chandelier Scene - simply the greatest, and followed by two great Del Boy lines:

Grandad: Is it very valuable Del?
Del: No, not really...bu it was bleedin' priceless when it was hanging up there though!
Rodney: What's his lordship gonna say when he finds out?
Del: Well, I think I can safely say that my invitation to the hunt ball has gone for a Burton!

 

My Foughts on Every Only Fools and Horses Christmas Special

CHRISTMAS CRACKERS - one of the few Christmas specials to actually have anything to do with Christmas. A nice, small episode with a great snapshot of dull life in the Trotter flat in the beginning that then culminates with one of the series funniest scenes, Rodney trying to approach some women at a club. (Sorry for the crappy quality, but I feel like this needs to be seen.)


DIAMONDS ARE FOR HEATHER- One of my least favorite episodes, I’ve probably only watched 2-3 times. Set up solely to show how good Del could possibly be with children, which is nice, but I can’t think of a single funny bit and too much of it’s taken up by people singing Ol' Shep.

THICKER THAN WATER - great episode and the only one with Del & Rodney’s father, who shows up for the first time after walking out on them decades earlier. Del’s cynicism about him being  a changed man and Rodney’s optimism makes perfect sense, and in the end when Del Boy gives his father money while kicking him out of their lives forever is one of my favorite moments of the show. Ironically, Reg’s scam was to convince Del Boy he wasn’t his son….when we’d later find out the truth is that Rodney wasn’t.


TO HULL AND BACK - always on people’s Best-of lists, and I’ve never understood why. Sure it’s interesting because it’s a feature-length episode, but the first scene goes on forever, there’s no laugh track, and the whole thing is confusing. There’s no real lightness to it. Maybe I’ll give it a spin since so many people love it, but I have my doubts.

A ROYAL FLUSH - this is the one most fans hate, mainly because of how badly Del Boy is portrayed. Which I agree with, but some of the scenes are so funny (Del Boy shooting skeet!) that I like it more than most do. Also, while del's actions are deplorable they are, as usual, solely based on providing for the family.


THE FROG’S LEGACY - not much to this episode other than setting the stage for us to find out Freddie the Frog is Rodney’s real father, but worth it solely for Boycie delivering one of the greatest lines in the whole run:

"Your mini cab's arrived Albert" 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/bSIrc7Ovup

— Only Fools & Horses (@OFAHCentral) February 9, 2019

DATES - important for introducing us to Raquel, who would eventually settle down with Del Boy - and it all started with this great Del Boy scene.


THE JOLLY BOYS OUTING - this is one of my favorites even tho it’s not even close to being the funniest. But there’s something really warm about it, probably due to the beano to Margate giving us an excuse to see so many of the characters together, which is always great.

RODNEY COME HOME - an episode in which nothing seems to happen, and is a big part of what eventually becomes “sure I understand why Rodney & Cassandra are having problems but nobody seems to know what those problems are and why they exist.” But this episode includes this scene which is a Top 5 for me.


MIAMI TWICE: THE AMERICAN DREAM - meh.

MIAMI TWICE: OH, TO BE IN ENGLAND - meh.

MOTHER NATURE’S SON - brilliant premise that years later would come to real life, but an average episode. Not great, not bad, just pretty solid.

FATAL EXTRACTION - perfectly forgettable, nothing happens and at the end you wonder why they bothered making it.

After this weak 4-special run, it’s astonishing John Sullivan came roaring back with the historic trilogy of 1996.

HEROES AND VILLAINS - a stone-cold classic, if for no other reason than the Batman and Robin scenes. This mugging one is great but I think when they show up at the costume party and it turns out to be a wake is even funnier...unfortunately there's no video available online. Grrr. Also great, this episode features the classic Trigger broom scene.


MODERN MEN - features a top 3 Only Fools scene, and the one that best showcases John Sullivan's talent for balancing the funny and the serious. Also fantastic is Rodney unwittingly applying for his own job and being stitched up by Del. Top 5 episode!

TIME ON OUR HANDS - the one that should've been the finale, this combines the thrilling high of the Trotters finally becoming the millionaires Del said they'd be, and the gut-wrenching moment of leaving their flat for the (supposed) last time and Del Boy having to say that Trotters Independent Traders is no longer in business. Was the perfect ending to the series, still holds the record for most-watched sitcom episode in the UK.


Also amazing is when they nervously arrive at the Nag's Head after the auction, wondering if their friends will still accept them, and even Boycie can only be happy for them.

A wonderful moment when Del and Rodney walk in the pub after officially becoming millionaires pic.twitter.com/MlznnyvBIZ

— Derek Trotter (@DelBoy_ofah) March 20, 2018

That should have been the end but it wasn't, as popular demand drove Sullivan into writing three more Christmas specials. None of them are great but they're not bad either; certainly, I welcome the chance to watch three more hours of the greatest show ever.

IF THEY COULD SEE US NOW - thoroughly solid episode, whose main function is to bring the Trotters back to their flat after Del Boy (of course) completely blowing their $6.2M fortune. Sullivan must deal with the death of Buster Merryfield (Uncle Albert), and does so perfectly by having them go to the wrong funeral. 

STRANGERS ON THE SHORE - an good episode, best remembered for the classic bit about accidentally kidnapping an illegal immigrant whom they then pretend is an old friend of Rodney's named "Gary".

SLEEPLESS IN PECKHAM - episode whose main purpose is to finally reveal the truth about who really is Rodney's father. While doing so it gives us the last great, great moment in the series' history, wrapping everything up nicely:

Rodney: Del, can I ask you a question? 

Del: What's that?

Rodney: Other than looks, was he like me in any way?

Del: Who?

Rodney: You know who. Freddie Robdal. 

Del: (long pause) Freddie Robdal was a womaniser, a home-breaker, a con-man, a thief, a liar, and a cheat... So no Rodney, you're nothing like him.

State du Jour

Was QUITE pleased with my incredibly smug witticisms re: "that's a dog, idiot" until I saw what the dog was wearing.

Me When I Plug into a USB Port Correctly on the First Try.