Friday, June 30, 2023

Questions. I Have Them.

Wouldn’t this just depress the children? Your hero is the other-worldly, beyond-human Spider-man but he’s also gotta wash windows for a living? Dafuck? Wouldn't it just make it seem like you're more fucked than you thought - "if even Spider-Man has to do this shit to pay his bills then what the fuck hope's there for me out there?" πŸ€”πŸ€·‍♂️

I Fucking Hate the "Supreme Court"

Sometimes I wonder why something like the Supreme Court just blatantly becoming openly partisan & corrupt didn't happen decades before, when people didn't have access to the kind of blizzard of real-time information we do now. It's ironic that now in the age of the internet where everybody can see everything everybody is doing at all times is the exact moment this happens, and there's probably a psychological reason for it I'm not privy to personally.

OFAH du Jour 🀣🀣🀣🀣

Fab Four Friyay!

I don't generally encourage folks to read entire Twitter threads but this guy I've been following for awhile now has been doing one Beatles song per day and his take on Strawberry Fields Forever is just fantastic - even I, who's read a billion books on them, had never heard about where the line "nothing to get hung about" may have come from. Well done! πŸ€—πŸ•ΊπŸŽΈ CLICK HERE TO READ THE ENTIRE THREAD.

EGG FOO WHAT?! Newest Single!

Head into your (hopefully!) long weekend with the latest #eggfoowhat single: Mike is aghast at Greg’s Tom Petty-bashing as per mentioned in this week’s The Best Show with Tom Scharpling spinoff episode of Slice of Life. 🀣🀣🀣🀣

In America.

A democracy of which a full 1/3 of its Supreme Court was placed by someone who lost the popular vote not once but twice is not a democracy. And that's to say nothing of 2 others placed by someone who *won* by 500 votes in a state that just so happened to be governed by his brother. So that's where we are today with this worthless group of hacks about whom I guess we're not even pretending to be upset are involved in historic money grabs from outside interests/billionaire "friends". This is no longer the highest court in the land restrained by non-partisan skepticism, this is literally the equivalent of a mafia lawyer for the most extremist right-wing faction in our nation's history. Any law, ANY law, or any election, ANY election that Republicans don't like will immediately get kicked over to the "Supreme Court" who will do their duty and deliver whatever this faction of idiocy wants. People think I'm joking when I saw that they'll pass a law making it illegal to tax millionaires, but check back in after about a year and see how funny it is. With what we're seeing now from these people are you really going to be surprised when Trump wins his 5th term despite losing by 30M votes? 

Thanks, Democrats who voted for Nader in 2000 to "stick it to Clinton!"

Thanks, "left-wing leaning media" who insisted on portraying Trump & Hillary as the exact same racehorse for rating$$$$.

Thanks, Democrats in 2016 who juuuuuuuuust couldn't vote for Hillary because hey, they're all the same, right? Hey, at least Trump's new & exciting, right? And these things don't really matter, right?

I recorded this demo (never got actually recorded by Hayday funk you very much) the night after Obama won the presidency, and I was relieved to think that in spite of our best efforts we'd stumbled out of the Bush years and were righting the ship again; 15 years was all it took to turn into a full-blown parody.

Thursday, June 29, 2023

Tweet du Jour 🀣🀣🀣🀣



Regrets. I Have Them.

Really thought this was gonna take off & be a thing.

Incredibly Enough, More Rick Wise

Just last week HERE I mentioned Rick Wise's no-hitter while hitting two home runs, but now I stumbled into this and I hafta wonder which crazy game was more impressive? πŸ€”πŸ€·‍♂️

This is an All-time Favorite Moment for Me πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸΆπŸΆπŸΆ



Here's a Thought

What if in the middle of a guitar player's lead the singer suddenly throws his hand up for a high five and the guitar is helpless to not react instinctively and return the high five, thereby killing his face-melting lead? πŸ€”πŸ€·‍♂️

“A Tale of Two Grimaces” πŸ€—πŸ€£πŸ•Ί


State du Moi

After bragging to everybody about reconnecting with my beloved Canoe cologne after 15 years you can imagine how much of an idiot I feel now after walking by some guy who smelled like birthday cake batter.

EGG FOO WHAT?! Episode 52

Mike lets Greg know he probably won't let him live in his basement if it ever comes to that, maybe because he tainted Mike’s precious college dorm (from the future) & they both go down NYC memory lane for a bit.

HEAR IT ALL HERE!

THIS Is Some Bullshit

I guess YouTube knows I'm an easy target for Indiana High School Basketball Tournament footage but WHEN SHOWING FOOTAGE OF SCOTT SKILES' CLASSIC 1982 UPSET WIN YOU CAN'T SAY "INCLUDED IN THE GAME WAS A FUTURE MEMBER OF HOUSTON'S PHI SLAMMA JAMMA!" WHEN THAT FUTURE MEMBER OF PHI SLAMMA JAMMA TURNS OUT TO BE (CHECKS NOTES)...Renaldo Thomas. Grrrrr. GRRRR!

Wednesday, June 28, 2023

Questions. I Have Them.

Has anyone already given "Dave Grohl at Every Rock Show" the Cigar Guy treatment yet?

Celebratory BLACKADDER du Jour


My Sitcom White Whale Moment Has Been Found

A hundred years ago, I know it was my Manny days, I saw a moment in an All in the Family episode that had me curled up on the floor laughing my head off. Somehow I never was able to find it again; for 15 years I'd randomly think of it and spend like maybe 10 minutes trying to figure out which episode it was from, and then give up for another year. But it was always on the back of my mind, and now, tonight, ladies & gentlemen, I present you with that moment from that scene: Archie, frantically trying to hurry along the wedding ceremony, bangs on the piano at Edith. 🀣🀣🀣🀣

Oh, You Guys

Shared this at a work meeting today so thought I'd let y'all have a laugh with it too. My old days with Xmastime buddy Fashion Herald, 2009! πŸ€—πŸ•Ί

New Macca Book!

I finally stopped playing hardball with Paul McCartney and bought his newest book of photographs:

What's different about the photos in Paul McCartney's book 1964: Eyes of the Storm is the point of view of the photographer: McCartney himself.

McCartney says an archivist brought the photos out of his archives. He hadn't seen them in decades. "Most of them I don't remember taking because it was a whirlwind," he said.
I thought I'd seen every picture of The Beatles so I was prepared to be kinda so what? about it but I stunned to realize of course he'd have taken pictures of the plane ride over to America; imagine that now you have an actual look at the moments inside the plane that was about to change the world forever. 



#XOTD

XMASTIME: Genius Shadow Photographer

Questions. I Have Them.

I don't watch a lot of dramas, but am I ready to say that Season 2 of The Bear is the best season of a drama I've since since True Detective?

The Internet is Always Teaching

"Hey look a picture of The Turkey's Nest just popped up online I wonder how much it's changed since I used to go there OH WAIT never mind."

🀣

This is Correct.

Putting Myself Out There

 

Tuesday, June 27, 2023

Not My Proudest Internet Moment of the Day.

EMERGENCY LIVE YOUTUBE PODCAST ALERT

TUNE INTO THE BEST SHOW TONIGHT; the Slice of Life boys are filling in for Tom and may have asked a certain egg foo young lover to call in as a guest πŸ•ΊπŸ˜œπŸ₯‘

Tweet du Jour

Oh FFS Already

Apparently they're trying to ruin the glory that is a hot dog at, of all places, Yankee Stadium (I call it "The Stadium", fuck you very much):

Pepsi will launch a Pepsi-infused condiment called Colachup at Yankee Stadium and three other ballparks on the Fourth of July in what it's calling a "complete reimagining" of hot dog toppings.

First of all, you people know my policy on ketchup: it's for children and Midwesterners only.
Secondly, why wouldn't you call it "Pepsup"?

Ideas. I Have Them.

Can we all just agree that in the case of both military movies, Stripes and Full Metal Jacket, nobody really gives a shit what happens after boot camp ends? Instead of pretending to be interested in the rest of each movie why not just combine them so that first you get the Full Metal Jacket boot camp scenes and then the Stripes boot camp scenes and then we all call it a day? 

In America.

I know we're supposed to be thrilled with this Supreme Court ruling but basically what I see is that three Supreme Court Justices - take a wild guess which side of the aisle they're from - decided they want a state "representative" to just be able to declare the winner of any election to be whomever they so choose, no matter how the actual voting went.

Democracy, indeed.

Applying Cologne for the First Time in Like a Freaking Decade, a One-Act Play

INT. Bathroom

1. Just a little dab will do fine, no need to overpower myself like I'm 19 & spraying on a keg of Axe body spray

2. Hmm. Can't really smell it. Should I put on more?

3. Dump the rest of bottle on my face

4. I think someone's going to ask me to leave the building

END SCENE

Dafuck is That an iPhone?!?!? 😲 😳😲 😳 😳

Book Line du Jour

"Hell is powerless against pagans"

XMASTIME: Genius Shadow Photographer

[SEE PREVIOUS XMASTIME SHADOW PHOTOGRAPHY GENIUS HERE]

The One Good Thing About the DC Metro

After living there almost 15 years I try not to be a New York City snob - you can get great pizza anywhere, and hell it's been 11 years since I moved away :( - but the one thing I WILL be a snob about is when comparing the DC Metro system, which is absolute garbage, to the relentlessly fluid machine that is the NYC subway.

EXCEPT.

I've always LOVED the carpets on DC Metro trains! "Oh but Xmastime," people tell me when I mention this, "those carpets are disgusting!" to whit I always say well what the fuck are you doing on these carpets, are you licking soup up off them? Or are you walking on them the same as you would anywhere outside no matter what, with shoes on your feet?

I feel like there's fewer & fewer train cars with these carpets left as the Metro is determined to suck out whatever last bit of soul it has remaining, so my promise to you people is that every time I come upon one (heh heh heh, still got it!) I'll let you know with a photo YOU'RE WELCOME!!

Monday, June 26, 2023

I Am So Fucking Jealous of This 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

The Internet is a Crazy Thing

Imagine you were born in 1929 and you make it to the year 2023 and then you stumble into this and see footage of a game you played in the goddam year 1947. Unbelievable.

UPDATE: you don't have to imagine, the star of that game was Clyde Lovelette, who went on to a Hall of Fame career before dying in 2016. Crazy.

WAIT WHAT

Via HERE re: Glastonbury next year:

The Kinks plan to showcase their 60th anniversary album at the festival next yeaR


πŸ€—πŸŽΈπŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! πŸ€—πŸŽΈπŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ 

 

A Reading of a Letter from Arthur Rimbaud to His Mother, by Xmastime.


She Loves You at 60...60!!!

60 years ago today John Lennon & Paul McCartney sat down in a hotel room in Newcastle and knocked out a little number they'd call She Loves You:
Like many early Beatles songs, the title of "She Loves You" was framed around the use of personal pronouns. But unusually for a love song, the lyrics are not about the narrator's love for someone else; instead the narrator functions as a helpful go-between for estranged lovers:

You think you lost your love,
Well, I saw her yesterday.
It's you she's thinking of –
And she told me what to say.

She says she loves you ...

This idea was attributed by Lennon to McCartney in 1980: "It was Paul's idea: instead of singing 'I love you' again, we'd have a third party. That kind of little detail is still in his work. He will write a story about someone. I'm more inclined to write about myself."

Looking back, engineer Norman Smith admitted to not thinking much of the song at first -- or at least the lyrics, anyway. "I was setting up the microphone when I saw the lyrics on the music stand," Smith recalled. "I thought I'll just have a quick look. 'She loves you yeah yeah yeah, she loves you yeah yeah yeah, she loves you yeah yeah yeah yeah.' I thought 'Oh my God, what a lyric! This is going to be one that I do not like.' But when they started to sing it -- bang, wow, terrific. I was up at the mixer jobbing around."
I Want to Hold Your Hand has - rightfully so - always been the clarion call for Beatlemania here in America, but She Loves You is the one for the Brits, coming out just a few months earlier. No matter how many times I've heard it over the years, that opening rush, where it sounds like youthful hope itself comes tumbling out of an overstuffed closet door, is more & more infectious to me. Here's Liverpool Stadium in 1964.

🀣

 

Announcements. I Have One.

Yes, single ladies out there: you are now officially warned.

The Unconquerable Eric Idle

Obviously I'm still all abuzz from comedy living legend and Xmastime idle Eric Idle responding to a tweet of mine as I mentioned earlier. πŸ€—πŸ€£πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§

From a post a million years ago:

Following the success of Holy Grail, reporters asked for the title of the next Python film, despite the fact that the team had not even begun to consider a third one. Eventually, Idle once flippantly replied "Jesus Christ and His Lust for Glory", which became the group's stock answer once they realized that it shut reporters up.

No matter how great Life of Brian is - and it is - Eric Idle cracking "Jesus Christ and His Lust for Glory" has to be the single funniest thing ever said out loud. I mean, I couldn't have come up with that in 100 years, and Idle just tossed it off like that. Fucking incredible. I say that over and over, and it fucking kills me. What a line. I can't imagine anything that could be funnier.

Still Looking for Investors BTW #XOTD2011

Doc Ideas. I Have Them

Milan beating mighty Muncie Central in 1954 may be the second greatest upset in sports behind only the US Olympic Hockey Team in 1980 and of course was the inspiration for Hoosiers, but has anyone ever done a documentary from the vantage point of the Muncie players? I mean I know there's probably barely any left, but I'd watch that.

Hey, Bobby Plump is still alive & kicking after all!!!

NO BIG WHOOP IT'S ONLY ERIC BLOODY IDLE HOW'S YOUR MONDAY GOING?????!!!!!! πŸ€—πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§πŸ€£πŸ•Ί

Sunday, June 25, 2023

Garfield du Jour

Unfortunately, comic references to trans folks & anti-vax fears hit a bit too close to home these days. Thanks, Garfield! 😑

Good Old Days? Maybe Not.

How much crappier was it to try & make some desperate lover's plea for attention nonsense back in the days of writing letters, before phones? I mean today you can just scream into your phone that you're going to kill yourself if so & so doesn't love you forever and immediately hang up, knowing the other person's gonna spring into a wave of panic that hopefully quickly culminates in a makeup session in the boudoir. But back in the day you'd hafta fire off a threatening letter of desperation, telling your lover you're willing to die instead of live with or without them or whichever, and then you'd...put the letter into an envelope...find a stamp for it...find some time to go into town to mail it...wait a few days, then picture them reading it, imagine in your head their reaction to every word... and then hope that within a week or so they'd send a response to what by now is the slowest dramatic non-suicide between lovers ever.

Time of Death: Right Now

I'm not in the general practice of giving up on a book once I've started it but after 100 pages and not having any idea what the fuck's going on and not being able to wrap my head around half the names and from what I can tell still being about 1000 miles from any point from which whatever amazing plotline will present itself as being worthy to have its own book declared to be one of the best of the last century, I'm saying "it's not me, it's you" to A Passage to India.

Which is doubly a shame, since I'd just finished a hot streak of 3 books that were not only fantastic & enjoyable to read, but any of the three could find themselves on a short list of Books That Really Made Me Think About How to Live My Life. Unlike the aforementioned flop, I can't recommend these three incredible books enough:
The Painted Bird, Jerzy Kosinski
Mother, Maxim Gorky
Spill Simmer Falter Wither, Sara Baume

Ah well.

UPDATE: I just realized, it's four books in a row not three, thanks to Flaubert's fantastic Memoirs of a Madman which I read right before The Painted Bird. Damn you, A Passage to India!!!

Happy Birthday Dairy Queen!

True story, hand to god: the first tacos I ever saw were from Dairy Queen, with Dennis the Menace branding TRUE STORY!! HAND TO GOD!!

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you once point something much more interesting you did at a Dairy Queen years ago??"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did!

It Was 25 Years Ago Today

That I met up with Chris Standish and practiced as The Happy Scene for the first time ever; he'd go from answering my ad in the Village Voice for a drummer ("Beginners welcome") to being my musical consigliere for the remainder of my years in Brooklyn. I can't describe how much those years of rocking together in New York City as a young man mean to me, I've forgotten so much great shit it's probably tragic, but I do know it all started 25 years ago tonight.

Rock on, Dish! :) We will rock again someday, somewhere.

LEARN ALL ABOUT/ROCK OUT TO THE HAPPY SCENE HERE


Told You Guys I've Got a Girlfriend


Wings, Beatles & More Oh My!

This 1-minute scene is so chock-filled with so much stuff it's incredible:
1. it's genuinely funny
2. we see the beginning of Brian getting against the wall vis-a-vis the new politics of Joe & Helen being married
3. plays into an old, lazy trope, that Yoko broke up The Beatles (since debunked!!)
4. Brian's "album" line is legit LOL
5. Helen whispering into Joe's ear plays perfectly into what people thought for years Yoko & John were like in the studio (since debunked!)
6. Brian actually says the words "Wings", which could be a play on the name of the show and the name of Paul McCartney's band after The Beatles broke up...
7. ...seconds before he nails a fantastic Liverpool accent...
8. ...which I think honestly cracks Tim Daly up, which is the cherry on top

Shew! All in a matter of seconds, people! YOU PEOPLE NEED TO WATCH MORE WINGS DAMMIT!

Ray Davies Birfday Week Rolls On!

I'd never even heard of this show but the setlist - as well as his stories in between - is just off the charts; I've never seen VGPS represented so much in the set. 5 stars, no notes. Just wow.

1. Dead End Street
2. 20th Century Man
3. Village Green
4. Picture Book
5. Big Sky
6. Do You remember Walter?
7. Sunny Afternoon
8. I Go To Sleep
9. All She Wrote
10. Other People's Lives
11. Muswell Hillbilly
12. Oklahoma USA
13. The Getaway (Lonesome train)
14. After the Fall
15. Harry Rag

 

Saturday, June 24, 2023

Ray Davies Birfday Week Rolls On!

Sometimes I worry that as a human race we don't pay enough attention to the fact that he once brilliantly rhymed "vernacular" with "Dracula":

We are the Custard Pie Appreciation Consortium
God save the George Cross and all those who were awarded them
We are the Sherlock Holmes English Speaking Vernacular
Help save Fu Manchu, Moriarty and Dracula

 πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

Tweet du Jour

 

Statements. I Have Them.

I feel like we're entering into a new generation of rock memoirs coming out for which "here's a chapter detailing how much Ryan Adams is an absolute dick" is its own genre.

Questions. I Have Them.

Does anybody know a single NBA fan ever who doesn't absolutely love Kevin Garnett? πŸ€”πŸ€·‍♂️

ANNOUNCEMENT

If I find out who’s been hiding this absolute treasure from me all these years I’m gonna flip the eff out.

The Days of Wine and Roses

I never did a radio show in college without playing the Dream Syndicate's Halloween - XMASTIME

Get thee over to Spotify now and treat yourself to the fantastic 40th anniversary of The Dream Syndicate's classic, The Days of Wine and Roses! Great album to begin with, and tons of great extra shit.

Also, making up Steve Wynn's set list shortly after moving to New York City in 1998 is still one of my all-time favorite memories πŸ€—:

Shortly after I moved to Brooklyn in January of 1998 GodIHateYourSteveWynn, Lux and I went to some basement in the city, where Steve Wynn of the Dream Syndicate was playing a solo acoustic show. He was trying to plug his latest album, of which he releases about 50 a year, and nobody was really giving a shit, everybody kinda milling around chatting. After I had partook in a few warm Heinekins I thought I'd do Mr. Wynn a favor, and I started shouting out Dream Synicate songs I wanted to hear, and he simply shrugged "fuck it" and played whatever I shouted out over the next 45 minutes or so.

I've always hated that "Only in New York, kids!" saying, but later on while standing there talking to Steve Wynn I remember thinking "there's no way I'd be standing here talking to Steve Wynn after picking out his set list anywhere else." Here's Burn, a super-slice from Medicine Show.

Also cool: Steve Wynn is in The Baseball Project.

VivΓ‘ la Dream Syndicate!

Strange Currencies & Bear Fever

One more thing I'd like to say about the soundtrack for the second season of The Bear, which as I mentioned yesterday may be the best season soundtrack ever, is that I've spent 30 years saying REM's Strange Currencies is a better version of Everybody Hurts and for 30 years everyone said I was crazy and now we see it played at least three times this season on The Bear and so I feel sweet, horrible vindication!

Here’s One Thing I Was Actually Correct About


Just Finished the Season 2 Finale of THE BEAR

Even as a fan of the 1st season I’m blown away by the 2nd (last?) season of the show. Unbelievable. Just fantastic. I started out just being happy they let us breathe while watching an episode, and I still can't stand the way the actress plays Sydney, that acting style just drives me bananas, but then by the Christmas episode the show somehow hit another gear and just launched. I can’t think of a better season for a drama in recent memory.

Also - has there been a character less capable of enjoying himself than Carmy since Matt Saracen?

Friday, June 23, 2023

A Note on Season 2 of THE BEAR

The Christmas episode may be one of the best episodes of tv I've ever seen. Can an entire supporting cast win the Emmy? Unreal.

The following episode was almost as good - first of all I welcome as much Ebon Moss-Bachrach screen time as I can get and you're goddam right I bawled like a baby at his moment of triumph 😭

Da Bears

I'm only on episode 6 but does the second season of The Bear have the best soundtrack for any tv season ever?

Questions. I Have Them.

Has The Ringer ever done a deep dive on the ridiculous music career of David Silver? πŸ€”  If not, what do we as a people need to do to make this happen?

Huge if True.

Your Friday Bonus, People!

SUPER-EXCLUSIVE PLATINUM CLUB MEMBER PREMIUM EGG FOO WHAT?! CONTENT:
my notes during the last episode. #eggfoowhat

Thoughts. I Have Them.

The SAT test is funny in that for some reason they put pressure on you during the actual test OMG YOU BETTER FINISH THIS IN TWO HOURS OR YOU WON'T GET INTO YOUR DREAM COLLEGE AND YOUR LIFE WILL BE OVER and then the second you get into any college they're like "oh yeah whatever just keep cutting us checks and you can take as long as you want to graduate". πŸ€”πŸ€·‍♂️

Official Xmastime Update

Your Friday Xmastime Inspiration du Jour

No matter how shitty a day you’re having maybe it helps to know that at this very moment someone else is having the greatest day of their life. Tomorrow could be yours.

Rick Wise!

On this day in 1971, Rick Wise had what is arguably the single greatest game in baseball - or any sport? - when he threw a no-hitter and hit not one but TWO home runs. Yowza!

Wait there's more - AND this feat was chronicled in my favorite song by my favorite rock supergroup!! (side note - let's not forget how bad a backup singer Pete Buck must be - I mean, I can understand R.E.M. not letting him sing, but a fun supergroup of his buddies in which he plays bass and they sing songs about baseball, and even THEN they don't even put a mic on his side of the stage? In a word: WOW.)

OFAH du Jour: Dare to Dream?

After its incredibly successful 4-year theater run, the makers of the Only Fools and Horses musical are considering a tv reboot:
Only Fools And Horses could return for a new TV run, if Paul Whitehouse has anything to say about it. The 65-year-old actor plays both Grandad and Uncle Albert in the West End retelling of the classic comedy, and he’s hoping to bring the new version to television after the production ended its run at London’s Theare Royal earlier this year.

‘Our story involves both Granddad and Uncle Albert, Del Boy meeting Raquel and Rodney and Cassandra getting married so we basically condense the seven television series into two hours and 10 minutes.’

Paul knows any potential remake wouldn’t be able to ‘compete’ with the iconic original, he thinks fans would respond well.

While there would no doubt be hope original stars like Sir David Jason could make a guest appearance, his co-star Nicholas Lyndhurst has previously dismissed the idea of returning for a revival. Although Sir Jason, 83, is still alive, Only Fools writer John Sullivan died aged 64 in 2011, while Roger Lloyd Pack (Trigger), Kenneth MacDonald (Mike the Landlord) and Buster Merryfield (Uncle Albert) have also died since the show ended its run 30 years ago. Nicholas previously said: ‘We can’t. John is no longer with us. John was the driving force of the show and we have also lost quite a few cast members now.
Personally I welcome any reboot of a show I love because why not, though I would greatly caution against this one since the entire brains behind the operation - John Sullivan - is dead, and does anybody REALLY wanna turn on their tv and see Del Boy played by someone who's NOT David Jason? 😬

I guess tis is what it could look like, its appearance as a special for Red Nose Day. I mean it's not a sin to not be David Jason, but when it comes to being Del Boy it is what it is.

#XOTD2009

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Ed McMahon

In early 2004 I started using my now ubiquitous signature "heyooooooooooo!!"; channeling Ed McMahon via Phil Hartman. I hafta say my favorite instance ever was at a dinner party I had; I was throwing out my "heyoooooooooo!!!"s with impunity. Clocking in about one every 60 seconds, killin mugs with it. Was on fire. Til GodIHateYourMarriage mentioned to his wife that he was gonna be outta town for her birthday. She cut him a look to kill as the room collapsed into "oh oh" silence...until from the silence lifted a barely audible "heyooooooo." Brought the house down. Sigh. Memories!!

8 Years Ago Today

My Bff Gordon Ramsay announced the end of Kitchen Nightmares.

It's almost hard to remember now how incredible the original BBC version of the show was, having since been trampled by the shitty Americanized version:
Premiering in 2004, the U.K. Kitchen Nightmares provided an intimate, borderline meditative look inside businesses with a fighting chance of survival helmed by not entirely delusional owners. (The central quandary in the episode set at an upscale restaurant in Inverness is that the food is just too fancy.) The editing and sound are far less concussive than in their American counterparts, while Ramsay’s seismic eruptions feel more like natural phenomena; he achieves a fond rapport with many of his charges, even easing into the role of ad-hoc therapist.

And yes, I will remind you once again why the American version of the show suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. You're welcome, Earth.
- Opens with fat, loud Italian guy braying to the camera about how amazing his food is. "The best there is!!" he says, beaming....

- ....seemingly oblivious to the fact that there is a camera crew filming him in preparation for a visit from Chef Ramsay, which you think would signal to him that his restaurant is in such shit that a television network deems that it's return to any level of success will be so incredible it's worth filming....READ MORE

OK After This I'm Gonna Try to Have a Fun Friday, People

BOOK IT: if you're a sheriff or pastor and are somehow famous, the odds of you being a complete asshole are approximately 100%.

OH FFS

Apparently Mark Zuckerberg & Elon Musk are literally going to fight each other:

Mark Zuckerberg has apparently agreed to fight Elon Musk in a cage match that would feature the billionaire leaders of two giant tech companies. Whether the two tech moguls are joking remains to be seen. While replying to a user discussing Meta's plans to build a Twitter rival, Musk challenged the company's founder on Wednesday to a "cage match" if he's up for it. Zuckerberg responded to a screenshot of the tweet and said, "Send me location".

First of all, I for damn sure haven't crafted my life in such a way so that one day I wake up & I'm the only adult in the goddam room 😑😑😑😑. Secondly, I guess this is just the next level of the bored billionaire nonsense we're all being forced through, presumably culminating in some rich motherfucker deciding he's Marcus Licinius Crassus.

What the fuck happened to just being happy to be outrageously rich?

The Craziness That is Graham Chapman

It's crazy enough when you read that before Graham Chapman died at the super young age of 48 he was not only a member of the single most influential comedy team of all time but also a licensed medical doctor after completing medical school all while being one of the most famously alcoholic alcoholics out there but when you add on "oh by the way he also was a literal mountaineer" it's like okay you know what fuck you Graham Chapman what the hell have I accomplished in my life?!?!? 😑

Thursday, June 22, 2023

13,000 Feet?

Ray Davies Long Birthday Weekend Rolls On!! πŸ€—πŸŽΈ

If you don't wanna hear it from me how awesome Ray Davies is then I'll just let Bowie/Costello/Weller et al have a go.

 

The Wonder Years

Another fantastic episode, this line about the fellas wanting to play football brought down the house - "no cuts!" 🀣🀣🀣🀣 

OFAH du Jour

XMASTIME CONFESSIONS:

I am a 50 year-old white male who's loved indie rock his whole life and I've never once listened to Exile in Guyville.

I Don't Know What Took Me So Long.

Philly Wins.

Happy Birfday!

To my old friend Michael, he of The Chinn Dome:
Our basketball home away from home was my friend Michael’s house, "The Chinn Dome." He had a big outdoor light, so we could play there after dark. I had a spot about 18 feet out that I shot from so much it was called “Xmas’ fucking crater," I wouldn’t be surprised if my footprints were still there. Usually we’d play 2 on 2, I must’ve run the only 2-man zone defense in the history of basketball – “you got the left side, I got the right.” Cause like I said before I ain't...READ MORE

Yeah But to be Fair the Washing Order Does Count

 

Today in Religion

Oh great do I hafta worship this thing as the son of god now too?

EGG FOO WHAT?! Episode 51

Mike loves what’s happening in his bathroom, the fellas question if a good Chinese restaurant can sell cheeseburgers & after a morning bus ride Greg may actually be the absolute worst. Hear all this & much more, everybody!  #eggfoowhat

Current Events

I assume someone’s already done a “the way the media is following the search for this submarine thing you’d think it was a mildly attractive blonde girl” joke?

State du Moi

Maybe the biggest willful shift I've made into adulthood is keeping a box of Altoids handy at all times.

Immaculate Grid

Okay now this is just too fucking intoxicating.

What a Total Fuckwad

JD Vance's 100-car motorcade over at the Winter Olympics is causing a stir: The VP’s enormous motorcade features dozens of Chevy Suburb...