The whole "taking advantage of white people feeling sorry for him after MLK's death" stuff was Larry David comedy gold.
The color palette of the show seems spot-on.
How is this set in Alabama but nobody ever mentions the fucking heat?
MUCH better use of the narration by using less of it - I understand if you have Don Cheadle you wanna use him but in the pilot it was stifling.
The dad (Charlie Young!) being some sort of professional musician is weird for the show. Dan Lauria's job was perfect - some nebulous office job that wrung the life out of him every day. This dad gets paid for music and spends his days fishing?
Overall a good episode and makes me hopeful for the next one.
Just as I was wondering if the original cast watches the show I see that both episodes have been directed by Kevin Arnold himself.
Complicating
this is the fact that offstage personal moments have become their own
kind of performance online; now that an audience can follow a comedian’s
“real” life on social platforms, jokes that seem truer and more
confessional, jokes that reflect those personal narratives, also start
to seem better. And in docucomedy, filmmakers are eager to show
receipts. In Slate’s Stage Fright, material about her
grandmothers cuts to footage of those same grandmothers, forcing Slate’s
onstage impressions into direct comparison with the real people. In
Thomas’s very personal hour about his childhood and his mother, the
documentary elements—which show Thomas hanging out with his family and
asking them what they remember about his mom—become a shortcut,
bypassing Thomas’s work in favor of a blunt visual record. It’s an
attempt to give the audience some of the same closeness Thomas has to
the subject, but it unbalances the production.
I enjoyed the Gary Gulman one, but only because I was so concerned about him after hearing his story. so it was a relief to see how the real guy was doing. Otherwise I agree: just get to the goddam jokes already. And I stand by this:
Comedians who release standup specials on Netflix seem to have an
outrageously inflated sense of how much people want an extended intro
before getting to the goddam standup already.
As for the movie itself, must say…great. Not a good movie, a great one. 2
thumbs up, 4 stars, whatever. Laugh out loud funny, touching at times
but not too over the top, and within about 5 minutes you actually find
yourself giving two shits about the main character, which is rare these
days. Yes, it’s Disney so you know everything will end up okay in the
end, but that’s alright. My only complaint is that there were a few too
many hectic, panicking rat-almost-getting-run over-by-cars/people/Neil
Diamond’s prostate scenes. But that’s the only ding.
Tell you what though…I am creeped out whenever I’m watching anything
that’s animated and find myself thinking “man…she’s hot…” Chick in this
one, reminded me of Gina Gershon. Well, if she wasn’t, you know, human.
Always weirds me out, maybe my generation has Jessica Rabbit to blame
for this. Or maybe I could speak to an actual woman more than once every
11 years.
Great podcast on the 40th anniversary of The Replacements' debut album Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash. It features both Bob Mehr, who wrote the definitive book on the band, and Peter Jesperson, who as their discoverer/manager is the single person most responsible for our even hearing the band. Without Jesperson, we never would've heard a single Paul Westerberg song, ever.
20 years ago I got an email from him:
A coupla years ago I wrote an email to Peter Jesperson, the first manager of the Replacements and their discoverer (if that’s a word.) I forget what I wrote to him about. Prolly blathering/gushing, something stupid. He wrote back, obviously amused I had named my band after a Replacements song. So he writes me a nice email and then at the end includes a story about the song “Hayday” – that after the album Hootenanny had been completed, Paul came up with the song and made them reconstruct the mobile studio, going through all that trouble again, fighting with everybody to record it and finally recording the song. Then he officially declared the album finished.
Roger seems to have been a terrible husband and father but I bet he was one of the greatest goddam grandpas of all time. Whatever the record for spoiling a kid was I bet he crushed it.
A coupla years back The Sports Guy wrote a running diary account of a day in the life of Mike and the Mad Dog,
the world’s single greatest wadio pwogwam. I remember at the time
thinking this was a Sports Guy Classic, one for the ages; my friends and
I reveled in it for weeks. As it always is when time puts some space
between the actual and the memory, the aura of the article grew larger
and larger in my mind as the greatest, funniest collection of words put
together since that Sunday edition of Bloom County
where Opus is buying Preparation H. Recently I found the article and
read it for the first time since it appeared and, me being Xmastime, of
course I can only think one thing: I can do better.
Not only can I do better, I say to myself, but I’m going to point out
the Sports Guy’s article for comparison –I’m not gonna pretend I never
saw his article. Here it is, in your face, I’m better. Here it is...one
man’s thoughts on the greatest show on Earth.
(for a quick primer, click thru this linkto the Youtube clip...)
1:04pm for the intro they’re
busting on Dawg being a Yankee hater by playing clips of him declaring
the Yankees’ season over at various points throughout the year. The
main one being on May 1...with 139 games left in a 162-game season.
Hmm. This is like a father calling his son a loser who will never
become a goddam thing at the age of 7. Flash forward a quarter century
and well well well, look who’s sittin’ pretty on his own sofa-bed,
hasn’t drunk-pissed himself in 2 years and is on the verge of getting
his own checking account? FUCK you, “Dad”, fuuuuccckkkk
you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1:06 one of the great things
about these two is that after 20 years, sometimes they talk as if
they’re dancing with each other. Rhythmic. Like right now Mike is
starting in about the Mets, with Dawg chirping in. “Folks, we are
watching a team in udder collapse. Udder (tewwible, Mikey!!) udder
(tewwible!) udder (terrible!) collapse” Dawg is like your mother
chirping behind your father while he’s giving you a belt-whupping,
driving him even crazier and making it worse for your ass.
1:14 They guys have been
hyperventilating re: the Mets collapse for ten minutes now. Nobody’s
seen Mike this animated since Sonic started serving breakfast - must
be why he’s actually in his seat coming out of commercial; for some
reason, 90% of the time Mike insists on walking back into the studio
about 20 seconds after Dawg has already started the segment. His rock
star moment, I guess.
1:17 after screaming/laughing
bout the Mets choking, Mike admits that no, he didn’t actually see the
game. Yet he sounds off as an authority. Typical. But then Mike hasn’t
seen his dick in about 25 years and he just had a kid, so I guess
somehow he really does just know things.
1:18 Seriously, I’ve never seen
Mike this happy. Did Ben & Jerry stock just split? Mike is usually
so stoic, but now he is singing along and tapping on the desk to “If
This is It” (NOT the Huey Lewis one, the other 70's one.) I've seen it
all, and wanna throw up.
1:25 one thing The Sports Guy
got right is that Mike kinda sounds like Yogi Bear. Anytime he
references Yogi Berra, he should hafta do the voice. And how nobody’s
come up with a M&MD Yogi the Bear cartoon with Dawg as the Boo-Boo
character is beside me. “Hey hey Doggy, looks like Ranger Smith left
some food out!” “Oh, that’s a TEWWIBLE job by Ranger Smith, Mikey!”
“Ugh.” “Tewwible!” “Ugh” “Tewwible!”
"AAAAAAAAND now those blacks won't fuck with us ever again, Doggie."
"Wow! GWEAT job, Mikey! One for the Big Guy!!"
1:27 Dog just tried to say
"Colorado." After three fly-bys, finally just plowed thru it
"Carararro." Sounds like a Chinese guy ordering Sammy Hagar’s tequila.
Ugly.
1:30 Mike now makes his
official Yankee declaration “You will have your October.” Of course
those 5 words took about 120 seconds to say as Mike inhales the fumes
of his own genius. This kicks off the first hellacious Doggie laugh of
the day, which sounds like someone shredding cardboard while stepping
on a cat, but not as calming.
1:38 Now they’re yapping bout
some goofy throwing contest by fans. I guess they’re cutting on Boomer
from the morning show. No idea what they’re talking about. But Mike is
still giddy, which to me has become the story of the day.
1:39 our first “hahahahaha say
something funny Mike!” yelp from Dawg. Ironically, Mike is actually the
funny one. Which makes no sense. He stares down at his desk and makes
serious proclamations like he’s the voice of the almighty, but he
actually gets off a few funny lines a day. I guess it’s true that a
fat, dour, self-righteous, condescending, smarmy know-it-all clock is
right twice a day.
1:42 how does YES pay these guys a million each a year and they have two commercials? Wtf?
1:43 and how is it possible that these guys haven’t been on Michael Kay’s CenterStage yet?
Emmanual Lewis, Lambchop w/o Shari Lewis and the guy in the “Safety
Dance” video, but no Mike and Dawg? I guess Mike somehow sees this as
competition to his NBC show Mike’d Up.
The best part of that show is for some reason they place a HUGE bowl
of candy or chips on the table in front of Mike throughout the ½ hour –
my dream is to hire some kid who during commercials can sneak in there
and put a dent in the candy each time, so it looks like Fatcessa has
been devouring the bowl on each break. Shit disappears as the show
goes on. Kills me. Well, and I dream that men would be angels, and
angels would be God. But the candy thing, camon....
1:46 I love it when the callers
announce that they’re gonna ask their question and then “I’m gonna
hang up and listen to your answer.” Really? Just once I’d like to hear
“then I’m gonna hang up and drop the radio in my bathtub so the last
words I hear on this Earth are ‘oh, Dawg, brutal. Ugh.’” Or “then I’m
gonna drop the phone and sprint away as quickly as possible, just run
as far as I can. thanks guys!
1:50 John from Staten Island
calls in to cry about the Mets bullpen, and Mike is incredulous: “if
you cant get 6 or 7 outs, why bother even talking about the bullpen?
They’re awful!!” I feel we’re only minutes away from a “Mariano Rivera
is a God, on a different level” speech. Only question is how will Mike
tie in his precious ’61 Yankees? Rivera/61 Yanks while guzzling
another crate of Diet Coke = Mikey hat trick.
2:00 now we’re listening to a
clip of David Wright saying the Mets have to “dig down deep” and “find
that something extra” so they can “finish strong.” You think an alarm
is going off cross town in Derek Jeter’s locker to warn that another
player is trying to out-cliche him?. I can’t wait for 40 years from now
and old-timers try to school youngsters on what a great cliche-er
Jeter once was. “You fucking call that a cluster of cliches? Derek
Jeter, young man, did the intangible cliches, the cliches that don’t
always show up in the papers the next day! Derek Jeter could put a
reporter to sleep in four questions, you fucking punk!!! Know your
history!!!” And David Wright sounds like Jermaine Jackson. Which is
funny, cause there’s probably only 4 other males on Earth who have
heard Jermaine speak, but this is how I’d picture his voice.
2:05 Mike declares that he
never thought the Yankees would win the division. Wow, what a genius.
He stuck to his guns, even when the Yanks were 14 ½ back. Can’t wait
for Mike’s “I knew Suri was gonna be a screwed-up kid” proclamation 20
years from now. Right again, Fatcessa!!! You did it!
2:08 Now Doggie’s going thru
the Yankees season and it’s big turning points. Tuff for Dog, who is
the king of all Yankee haters. Which makes the show great. And he
somehow just found a way to toss tennis into the discussion three
times. Nothing’s worse than when Mike’s on vacation in the summer and
Dawg regales us with the play by play of whatever local tennis match he
played the night before. “high wob, I fwoat back, cwossstwoke
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannd....15-wuv, storms coming fwom the
northwest, I know I gotta huwwy!!!” For 5 hours. A brutal test for
any listener. Like sitting there for hours listening to a girl prattle
on and on cause you know this is the night she’s finally gonna give it
up. Just hang in there, fellas.
2:11 Mike seems distracted; now
I see he’s staring at the computer beside him, ready to pounce like a
bear. Sniffing it. Like great white sharks mating in nature, humans
have never witnessed Fatcessa on a computer. He is the original proud
luddite; a few years back Dawg tried to get him to admit he knew what
the internet was and after about an hour Mike finally admitted that
sometimes he went online to “check out my stories.” Nobody even wants
to know what these stories are. And....BAM! There he goes, to the
computer! See the bright colors, big guy! Sniff sniff!
2:12 be amazing if all of a sudden he pulled a ham sandwich out from inside the monitor, wouldn’t it?
2:30 Sorry. Just took a dump so big a doctor came in and made me name it before I flushed.
2:38 Dog loves that the guy is
gonna put an asterisk on Bonds’ home run ball. Mike sniffs he’s a
“fashion designer.” I guess Mike thinks XXXL plain white button-down
shirts with pit stains and Cheetos dust design themselves.
2:50 Biff from Philly calling in... “Biff”? from Philly? Are you kidding me?
2:52 I’m always amazed more
crank calls don’t get through. Anytime someone slips thru, the guys
bitch at their call screener. Like it’s impossible to be lied to over
the phone. I don’t see how stopping a caller is even possible. If I
wanted to call in and tell Mike to eat his own fat ass, couldn’t I fool
the screener long enuff? Or does it go “Okay, what’dya wanna ask the
guys?” “I wanna tell Mike to eat his own fat ass.” “Sorry (click)” I
would think I’d have the brains to pull off:
“Okay, what’dya wanna ask the guys?”
“I wanna ask if they’d start Clemens over Chad on Sunday.”
“Please hold...” now they switch to another voice, try to make me slip up
“Okay, what’d you say you wanted to ask about?”
“I wanna tell Mike to...”
SHIT! couldn't even pull it off here...guess it is tough after all. Fucking hell.
2:55 Mike’s at the door with
his back to us, talking to someone...right now, every single YES viewer
is making the exact same joke. “lemme check before you take off, make
sure they put on double pepperoni...”
2:57 first “in the
mix”sighting, one of Doggie’s pet phrases. Though it almost gets lost
in the wreckage of Dog using it with the word “strategy;” “there’s
some stwategy in the mix!” fucking christ; is there a St. Bernard
lapping at his face that I just don't see?
3:01 I get a kick outta the
fact that at every break Dog has to say “Sports Radio 66.” And you know
Mike makes him be the one to say it, just to be a dick. When I first
started listening, I was amazed that someone with Doggie’s speech um,
“patterns” could get a job on radio. I decided that this guy must be
amazing, must REALLY know what he’s doing to get a gig on radio. It’s
like going to the track and betting on the three-legged dog: why else
would he be running?
3:02 hooker with one titty mighta worked back there, too.
3:08 Dog’s blowing his nose
into some toilet paper. Not television’s proudest moment. Looks like a
dachshund putting on a surgical mask.
3:09 Now they’re going thru
playbacks of different announcers from the game last night, trying to
detect panic in Met announcers. Are they psychiatrists? Should they be a
carnival act? “Step right up, Doggie will guess your feelings while
exploding into 1000 pieces as Mike sits in a chair to ease his
‘mysterious knee pain.’”
3:10 “oh, Dawg...ugh...ugh” Mike’s pretending to be sad re: Mets collapse panic.
3:11 now they’re trashing Keith Hernandez’s handling of a play while in the booth. I wonder how they woulda done on Seinfeld?
Dude was in an hour-long episode and made out with Elaine!!! To be
fair, Fatcessa mighta played Newman, will hafta double-check that.
3:12 Dawg is pissed no one’s
showing up to support the Mets: “they should boo the fans for not
showing up!!!!!” Really? If there’s no fans showing up, who’ll be doing
the booing? And at who? Dog’s a little slap-happy now, he’s been
fighting to hold Mike off his Hot Pockets for 2 hours now.
3:14 Clip of Willie Randolph
trying to break David Wright’s cliche record for the day. Stumbles
after saying “we gotta go get em tomorrow” by missing the chance to say
“we gotta take it day by day.” Can hear Wright goffawing in the
background, Willie’s pissed.
3:18 John Minko, the update
guy, is walking in to give some scores as he does every hour. Camon,
one time, do it naked! Or in a chicken costume. Just walk in, do the
news in a chicken suit. Have Mike and Dog pretend to not even notice.
3:26 Chris from Jersey gives us
our first “first time/long time” moment. Everyfuckingbody does this:
“hey it’s Chris, first-time caller/long-time listener...” I’d like to
call in “hey it’s Xmas, this is my ninth call since this morning when I
first heard of you guys...” surely I’m not the first person to think
of this?
3:28 is Mike reading a magazine? This is what its come to?
3:31 Mike coming in late from commercial again. They should have the train from Silver Spoons cart him back and forth every break.
3:38 Mike never says “hi” to a
caller, just quickly gruffs their name. “Hey guys, it’s Ricky.”
“Ricky.” If you set it up perfectly, listening to Mike could be like
an Abbott & Costello routine.
3:40 seriously...what the fuck
does Mike do every break? Sprints outta the chair every time. I assume
the shitter; but we’re now 2 & ½ hours in, how much of the pre-show
Velveeta pony keg can still be “processing”? Fuck!
3:58 Mike just spent 2 minutes
trying to explain “Sal wanted a pony for Xmas”, a metaphor for a Mets
win, which takes Dawg about 7 passes to finally get. Which leads to Dog
asking if Mike wanted a pony when he was a kid, to which Mike
seriously says oh, no no. Definitely not. Sad solemnly, in case we were
to ever get the wrong and presumably dangerous impression that at one
time he would’ve wanted of all things a pony.
3:59 Now Dawg’s talking about
his cat as a kid. Yum Yum. After destroying some upholstery, Dawg’s
dad got rid of Yum Yum. Mike, in one of the rare moments he’s curious
about another person’s life, asks Dawg what he means by this. Dawg says
they found another home for it, to which Eddie from the booth chimes
in “under a tree.” Hardest I’ve ever seen Mike laff, and all it took
was a young child’s dead kitten. Nice. I think I’ll make sure Mike’s
around next time I read “Where the Red Fern Grows” to, you know...”keep
things light.” Ugh.
4:14 Dan O’Dowd is talking. GM of the Colorado Rockies. I missed the last 15 minutes. Why is he on? I have no idea.
4:17 Mike declares this year’s
umps have been the worst ever. That’s it! In the books, 2007 the worst
ever. Prolly already on Wikipedia as fact.
4:18 Just occurred to me - I
hope they brought this guy in just to make Dawg hafta say Colorado
again. Poor bastard, he can’t even fall back on “Rockies” and sound
like an adult.
4:19 “Good job Dan!” Dawg
always says that you did a good job when the interview’s over, like a
pat on the head. Always seems vaguely surprised a guest comes on and
isn’t completely retarded. You’d think being in a room with Mike all
this years, he’d be programmed to always assume whomever he’s talking
to is a genius. But then, you’d also think we could get Cuba Gooding
Jr into a movie that’s almost watchable, so I guess you never know.
4:29 Dawg just said that El
Duque had a “weird bunion problem.” How can Mike not jump on this? Oh,
right...he’s been asleep for the last ½ hour. Don’t wake the bear,
Doggie!!!
4:37 they’re reading a quote
from Skip Carey, who’s upset about being left off playoff telecasts.
But apparently not about being named “Skip.” Interesting.
4:38 Wait - there’s Skip AND a Chip Carey? The Keebler Elves had children? What the fuck?!!!
4:39 You know, they’re right
about bringing in announcers for playoffs that haven’t even seen any of
the teams all year. It’s complete bullshit. It’s like bringing in
Richard Simmons and Lance Bass to judge a Cameltoe Contest. Why
wouldn’t they bring one local announcer from each team?
4:41 I gotta take break for a second, flip over to Beverly Hills 90210. Valerie is irked her latest conquest is leaving: “what do you hafta do, balance the federal deficit?”
4:47 Is anybody alive out there? Dawg’s gettin amped up re: Bruce on The Today Show the next morning. It's a good thing Bruce didn't play for the Giants last year, Tiki would SHRED him on Today for sure.
4:48 Dawg is outlining his morning for watching Bruce on The Today Show.
Trying to decide if he’ll buy his kid a little guitar to take. Wow.
Now we find out from an uproarious Mike that at some Bruce shows, Dawg
actually takes a toy guitar along to “jam” on during the show. Again:
wow. There’s air guitar, there’s being the kid in the “quit being mean
to Britney” video, and then there’s that. Dawg's kid’s gonna be
thrilled. “Thanks Dad, being your son doesn’t get my ass kicked quite
enuff at school, this should definitely take it over the top. You’re the
best!”
4:49 almost 4 hours in, just
now getting our first call from a Vinny? There a massive hair-gel sale
going on all day I don't know about?
5:07 Dawg’s pounding himself
for dissing the Yankees so early. Now comes the time of the day where
they get lazy and just repeat themselves from earlier, saying the same
shit they’ve already blathered. This is like a father calling his son a
loser who will never become a goddam thing at the age of 7. Flash
forward a quarter century and well well well, look who’s sittin’ pretty
on his own sofa-bed, hasn’t drunk-pissed himself in 2 years and is on
the verge of getting his own checking account? FUCK you, “Dad”,
fuuuuccckkkk you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5:09 Joe Torre’s on. I’d make a
child abuse joke here, but isn’t getting drunk and slapping little
people around funny enough already?
5:11 Jesus Christ. Torre. Lulling me to sleep. Blah blah blah.
5:22 You know what’s creepy? During phone calls when they put
the person’s picture on screen; you can hear the dude talking but they
have a still picture there, staring back at you. Do we need this? You
find yourself staring at the person’s photo, hypnotized. Like whenever I
watch something with subtitles, I find myself staring at the words on
the screen and not the actors. Which is why it takes me so long to
“issue” during “Rencontres Anales 4.”
5:24 Joe gives his thoughts on
each team. Hmm. Lemme guess. “solid, good team. Will be tough to beat.”
Thanks, Joe. Really going out on a limb here.
5:30 The last hour or so
usually sucks, I always hope they go off topic such as “top ten
movies.” This is fun cause now Mike has to pretend he’s never seen a
movie in color except The Godfather.
"Tom Hanks? Who's that?" And Dawg always asks Mike for his lists,
never vice versa. Of course the Babe Ruth of these time-wasters is the
Ratings Game, wherein Dawg reads out recent games to Mike who then
tries to guess that games national and local television rating. At
first you think they’re kidding, they GOTTA be putting you on, but you
look at Mike and he looks like he's cracking logarithms on the bowl
over there. And no matter how far off he is, he always nods his head as
if he understand WHY he was off. “Dawg I’m gonna say for Giants/Boys,
I’m gonna say 8.2 national, 10.1 local.” “They did a 6.6 national and
8.9 local.” Now Mike starts nodding his head, “okay, okay, I can see
that.” And Dawg acts like he’s at a funeral, crestfallen “Mikey, that a
tewwible wating! That’s an awful job by CBS, Mikey...just awful...”
while Mike nods his head. "Well Dawg, it was the 3rd-to-the-last nice
day left in the summer, so I knew that..." Are we supposed to take this
seriously, that Mike really thinks he can guess these numbers? This
reminds me of a guy I used to work with, Harry. EEEEEVery day Harry
would check his lotto numbers from the night before and try to match
them with his and see what he did wrong. “Okay, they have a 12, I chose
14...okay...22, I said 28...” I’m like Harry, it doesn’t matter, it’s
completely random! But he insisted he was figuring it all out. My
secret hope for the stupid ratings game is this is actually an inside
joke they’ve been playing on listeners for years and are just waiting
for the day someone finally phones in and calls bullshit on ‘em. “This
ratings game, you’re fucking with us, right?!” Dude “wins” a weekend at
Hooters with Mike, we never hear this stupid game again.
5:37 Now they’re talking about
clothes, and Mike has just revealed that he has “active” socks and
“inactive” socks. There’s no way I’m topping that sentence with
anything else.
5:40 commercial, flipping to MASH...why did Hot Lips pick Frank Burns? All the doctors there to fuck, she picks him? Camon!
5:47 Now Mike and Doggie are
talking to Ed Coleman, local beat guy for the Mets. Its official: Pedro
Martinez will save millions of Mets fans from killing themselves
tonite with a win. Comforting. This is the most the city has had to
depend on a Latino since it got J-Lo to hide P-Diddy’s guns back in the
day. HUGE game, Mike tells us 14,000 times in a row.
5:57 fuck!! They’re cutting
the show early to get to the Yankees game. Mike and the Mad Dog. My
life!! For you people outside of NY who wanna listen in, hit them every
weekday starting at 1pm atWFAN.
I have no idea how they pulled this sketch off, as the order of every word is so important. Were there cue cards? Did they actually nail memorizing it? I mean wtf?
THE MENU
Egg and bacon
Egg, sausage and bacon
Egg and Spam
Egg, bacon and Spam
Egg, bacon, sausage and Spam
Spam, bacon, sausage and Spam
Spam, egg, Spam, Spam, bacon and Spam
Spam, Spam, Spam, egg and Spam
Spam, sausage, Spam, Spam, Spam, bacon, Spam, tomato and Spam
A few weeks ago I posted my Top 5 Pandemic shows. I will now grant you the ones that didn't make the 5, in order of personal preference. I'm sure I'm missing a few but ah well.
NOTE: show had to have at least 6 episodes NOTE 2: it had to debut during the pandemic, and not before
AGAIN: withholding Only Murders in the Building since the season’s not finished
McCartney 3,2,1 All Creatures Great and Small The Great Hacks The White Lotus Don’t Forget the Driver The Flight Attendant Flatbush Misdemeanors Home Economics Physical The Real World: Homecoming New York Space Force Rutherford Falls
Apparently there's something going on with Koreans eating dogs. I have no desire to actually read the article but either way, this is a great opportunity to laugh at this great scene from a most classic Only Fools and Horses episode, A Touch of Glass:
Del:
This is North Korea’s finest porcelain. But our two great cultures have
a different attitude towards animals. We are both a nation of dog
lovers – the only difference is they love to eat ’em! Rodney: Do they really eat ’em? Del:
Would I lie to you? If a North Korean came to live in London he’d think
that Battersea Dog’s Home was a take-away! No, there’s nothing they
like more than a nice plate of poodle kebabs. Rodney: Oh leave it out will yer! Del: Or a bull terrier pie. Or sweet ‘an sour greyhound. Rodney: Oi! – one more word out of you and I’m gonna be sick on your sheepskin, and I mean it! Del: Go on, put yer foot down Rodney. I’m starving! I could just go a nice Jack Russell and chips.
I picked The Short Bus up from school this afternoon, and the way they
do it is they line the kids up class by class and walk them out in front
of a long fence. I felt like I was at a slave auction. Unfortunately,
my "So, who gets the first pick?" joke got no laughs from the other
adults waiting for their kid. So.
Michael Azerrad turns his trenchant eye to the art of rock writing
itself, hilariously skewering 101 of the genre’s seemingly endless
litany of hackneyed phrases and tropes.One of the finest music
writers today, Michael Azerrad has catalogued the shortcuts, lazy
metaphors and uninspired prose that so many of his beloved colleagues
all too regularly rely on to fill column inches.
A few of my faves:
During the interview, if a musician is sitting down, they are “seated comfortably.”
If multiple good musicians come from the same place, you MUST say “there must be something in the water.”
If the band is from a historically industrial town such as Detroit, Sheffield, or Birmingham, their music MUST be influenced by the sound of machines in a factory.
If the band is from a historically industrial town such as Detroit, Sheffield, or Birmingham, their music MUST be influenced by the sound of machines in a factory.
Whenever citing post-punk, you MUST describe it with at least one of the following: “spiky,” “angular,” or “arty.”
This tweet's been going around today and I really do hafta call bullshit on it. The fact is, in 2021 there's good food everywhere. Believe me, as an NYC pizza snob I'd love to bitch about non-NYC pizza but two of my favorite pizzas of all time are in Richmond and Leesburg, VA, so camon already. You can even get great Vietnamese food in Richmond! I remember Anthony Bourdain talking about this a million years ago, with food refrigeration and cultures migrating everywhere, the old adage that you can only get great food in certain places is just not a thing anymore.
There's a guy out there who's been Photoshopping Paddington Bear into movies every day for the last 200 days and now I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing with my pathetic life.
I know I'll probably never be a real adult because I'm in my thirties and I
have never bought a light bulb. Not once. Who the fuck does? Who
thinks "you know what, I should go buy some light bulbs"? To me it's an
endless series of rotation - oh my lamp's out, switch it out with a
lamp in the living room, swing the one in the bathroom over to the
living room and on and on and on. I don't know how, but after all these
years I've never run out of light bulbs. I guess one day I will, I'll
all of a sudden be sitting in the dark and think "well....that's it I
guess" and then blow my fucking brains out.
Four seven years ago tonight was Jeter's last game at the Stadium, & because of the blackout rule (FUCK YOU, BLACKOUT RULE!) since they were playing the Orioles, I had to watch at my office where there was cable, much to the horror of the cleaning crew
who came in to find a grown-ass dude blubbering like a baby. Here's the posts about Jeter I made throughout the game. Enjoy!
(Click on image to enlarge/scroll through)
And of course, here's the final at-bat:
Seven years ago, Derek Jeter ended his final game at Yankee Stadium in the most magical way possible. pic.twitter.com/MejxfJGCmS
It's somewhat difficult to picture Don Draper as an absolute bad-ass rambling through Manhattan banging out every single hot chick in his line of vision when you see him at the end of the day putting on pajamas. I mean, camon.
Sometimes I worry that as a nation we never really thought about how weird Don Draper’s curiously strong loyalty to Howard Johnson’s orange sherbet was. 🤔🤷♂️
On September 26, 1954 Mickey Mantle played an entire game at shortstop and Yogi Berra played third base. Can we even dream that somewhere, in some dude's attic, there's film of that? Man.
And because the internet is amazing, today on Twitter we see this.
Close enough to film, people!
Yankee Stadium, Sept 26, 1954 - Yogi Berra makes his first and only start ever at third base in season finale and he would be flawless at hot corner in 8-6 loss against Philadelphia A's. Mickey Mantle also played out of position at shortstop. Guess Casey just figure what the hell pic.twitter.com/omi5DvfJrL
Today Uber held a promotion for a dog adoption place by bringing puppies for you to play with for 15 minutes in the hopes you'd adopt one. I've never seen an entire office come together to work so hard to get anything done like I witnessed us all trying to get those puppies. I mean, I put less effort to get into college than I did trying to get a gotdam Uber puppy.
MOOOSEALINI: Funny cartoon moose who leads the Italian National Fascist Party; always steps in it while trying to spread fascism throughout the world but learns something heartwarming at the end of each episode. Maybe has an endearing speech impediment, like Ronnie Barker in Open All Hours? Looking for investors - let's print some money, people!
To Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen, who I've met by the way (and no, I'm not going to talk about it - it's MY story, not yours! Did I meet him? YES! And his mother? YES! And his Uncle Juan? YES! Sister Pam? YES, but it's my story and not yours, PLEASE respect my privacy, people!!!) and while people make a big deal about Baby, I, the A-side of his first-ever recording with teenage band The Castiles, I've always much preferred the overlooked B-Side, That's What You Get, which has a great chorus.
Following the sad passing of John Challis, @goldchannel are paying tribute to his brilliance by dedicating a special schedule to him this weekend starting with his first appearance as Boycie from 9:30am Saturday
Of course, three seasons of such a great show is a gift, and why do we demand shows we love go on forever, even ones with young adults obviously growing so quickly? I look forward to this and will enjoy the fuck out of it.
90% of what I watch are sitcoms, so I'm...guessing most of my answers would be from PBS? I loved Brideshead Revisited...oh, and the HBO Mildred Pierce! I thought of Friday Night Lights but it's so disconnected from the book...or is it? Roots, although I've shamefully never read or watched it...Wolf Hall was great...here's one more ellipsis...ooooh, THE IRISH R.M., superslice of superslices!!
Black Film Archive celebrates the rich, abundant history of Black
cinema. We are an evolving archive dedicated to making historically and
culturally significant films made from 1915 to 1979 about Black people
accessible through a streaming guide with cultural context.
"The films listed here should be considered in conversation with
each other, as visions of Black being on film across time. They express
what only film can: social, anthropological, and aesthetic looks at the
changing face of Black expression (or white attitudes about Black
expression, which are inescapable given the whiteness of decision-makers
in the film industry)."
"Aaaaaaaaaand....please get away now, thaaaaaanks."
I knew her back in my Williamsburg Glory Days - even pathetically tried to ask her out after a few containers once - and have posted about her throughout the years(she was a NYTimes crossword puzzle answer!!!!!!). And now she's hosting a podcast, with daily poetry readings. LISTEN HERE NOW! :)
It's hard to explain how much Left in the Dark means to me. As a young buck I of course heard the Replacements mangle it on The Shit Hits the Fans,
and DT and the Shakes covered it on their first LP a few years later.
By the time I finally heard the original as a 19 year old, it already
had some sanctified rare-air status that somehow was the annex of the
four corners of punk, post-punk, bubblegum, and post-punk bubblegum. I
knew the name of the song, and the name of the band, but, like everybody
else, didn't really know or care about anything else about the band
itself. Meanwhile, it seems as if every band that was around from
1980-1989 covered the song at least once (owed mostly probably to the Replacements.)
About 10 years ago THE GNAT, after spotting his name in some
Wilco message board, hooked me up with Ken Draznik, the writer of the
song, and like a star-struck fan I emailed him. And of course I told him
how much I loved his band, what that song meant, about the inordinate
number of musical doors those three minutes somehow opened to me, it was
the first song I learned how to play blah blah blah. And, incredibly,
he wrote me back. First of all, I was shocked to learn that, according
to his email address, he worked for Riddell Sports. I don't know what I
thought; I guess I pictured that whoever had written such a (seemingly) famous song spent his time in pubs doing interviews with Kurt Loder and shagging chicks. Or whatever.
Anyway, not only did he email me, but he MAILED me cassette tapes of the
Vertebrats catalog, PLUS demos he had been working on. We were email
buddies for awhile...then I sent him a Happy Scene ep + a tape of MY
demos, and the correspondence "mysteriously" stopped there. Hmm.
But that even seems right; it appears that once every coupla years the
Vertebrats "reunite" to give the fans what they want. But as awesome as
that is (mostly, letting people who came of age in the very early 80's a chance to relvie some memories),
the fact is that long after Ken's gone, and the Vertebrats are gone,
and 100 years from now, that fucking song will roll on. It is what's
best about rock 'n roll: it's insistence that it's about you, by you,
and for you. Martians will land here and walk into a bar, and someone
will be doing a cover of Left in the Dark. Bank on it.
This article came out 5 years ago today. Just a few days ago I found myself revisiting Angels of Destruction for the first time in a while and loving it :)
Recorded in Brooklyn, Nashville and in a Pennsylvania cabin, Angels of Destruction!,
released via Yep Roc, built on Marah’s signature sound: a combustible
mix of acoustic string music and rebellious Replacements-like rock &
roll fleshed out by imaginative lyrics. It was, by today’s increasingly
broad definition, an Americana album, full of banjo, harmonica,
clavinet, accordion, autoharp, horns, bells and bagpipes – one that
would likely be celebrated by the music fans, journalists and insiders
gathered at this week’s AmericanaFest in Nashville.
“Americana has always been a part of our vocab,” says Serge, whose
Springsteen-like gift for mid-song storytelling onstage made him the
raconteur of the band. “Dave and I lived through alt-country, which gave
a rebirth to Americana trickling down into younger people’s
discussions. You pick any one band and start to dig, before long you’re
digging into the roots of something musically, even with a rock band
that is using bagpipes. There’s your Scottish coal-mining influence.
It’s all there.”
After famously landing at JFK on February 7, 1964, The Beatles stayed at The Plaza Hotel (Fifth Avenue at Central Park South) in Manhattan, where tens of thousands of teenagers shrieked for their heroes 24/7 outside the building. While to someone like me that weekend feels like the single most exciting moment in human history, it just occurred to me that there were other people staying at The Plaza. The Beatles took over the 12th floor, but there were at least 11 other floors of paying guests who were NOT Beatles. How about a movie from their vantage? Annoyed with outrage at these "teenyboppers" disrupting their own weekends, not being able to sleep etc. We'd never actually see The Beatles, just the chaos around them. Consider it Plaza Suite meets A Hard Day's Night meets Plaza Suite.
