Saturday, August 31, 2024
Thoughts. I Have Them.
The timing of the Oasis reunion has made me realize how different the marking of the passage of time is the older you get. I'm roughly the same age as they are, and 30 years younger than The Beatles, and by the time they came around I was 22 years old & just finishing school forever and pretty much knew anything a mid-level rock nerd could possibly know in the pre-Internet days; I knew every inch of the entire history of rock & roll, which up to that point had been around just about 40 years, and kind of assumed that would always be the entire history of rock & roll (the same way I probably thought in 1986 that Fran Tarkenton's NFL's career passing yards record of 47,003 would last forever).
30 years later, Oasis and its generation - ME - now find ourselves in The Beatles slot of the generational hierarchy and I don't have anywhere near as close a grip on what the history of rock & roll has been over the last 30 years. I was older & more cognizant than I'd ever been before and I was actually living though those 30 years as a full-grown adult with an active & avid interest in the music world that was New York City, and yet there's zero chance I feel I have a hold on what the Encyclopedia Britannica entry for those last 30 years of rock & roll would look like, no idea. 🤔 🤷♂️
Speaking of the Oasis Reunion Tour...
...is this whole reunion tour just a desperate attempt to find a black Oasis fan?
The History of Something That Was Once Called The History of Where Someone Has Been Rocked
Back in 2005 my buddies Dave & Serge from Marah decided to combine our love of making each other laugh & our love of history & the jungleland that was 100 Metro & a new way of recording that would eventually become known as "podcasts" and recorded a few episodes of THE HISTORY OF WHERE SOMEONE HAS BEEN ROCKED, in which we picked some historical subject and then talked about it (I vaguely remember doing one on the covered wagons of the Wild West). And of course this being within the years 2002-2008 everything we recorded went away on yet another hard drive that got lost or broke grrrrrr.
ANYhoo, I'd long forgotten all about it, and don't dare dream of one day finding the recordings, but the description below that I'm guessing is what we would've put on Myspace or whatever was even available at the time (Friendster?) popped up the other day on an old message board when I was searching for something else. Maybe if this sparks as much interest as the Oasis reunion, we can get everybody back together for more episodes!! 🤗 😜 🤣 The Barber was also there handling all the tech shizzle and surely providing comedic inspiration at an incredible clip.
Enjoy, my little Xmas Monsters!
***************************************************************
8/29/2006
I fucking hate MySpace, but this sounds like it might be fun.COMING SOON! Dave and Serge Bielanko of Marah along with Greg "Xmastime" Wilson of Hayday fame will be hosting a radio show... THE HISTORY OF WHERE SOMEONE HAS BEEN ROCKED
HOSTS: Serge Bielanko, Dave Bielanko, Greg Wilson
GOAL: Listeners will have journeyed through an epoch of American History courtesy of great music, stories and fun facts delivered with wit and humor.
FORMAT: Each show will feature a theme (or two) that is inimitably American/Americana. From the introduction until the very end of the show the guys will use their vast knowledge of cool American History and music to tie in vignettes, captivating facts and humourous anecdotes with both obscure and popular music of all genres (rock&roll, bluegrass, hip-hop, jazz, brass bands, barber shop quartets, doo-wop, soul etc..) relating to the theme in order to create a kind jukebox classroom. (Sample Themes: The American Flag, Abe Lincoln, Baseball, The Old West, The New South, Religion, New York City, The Civil War, Texas, Christmas, Immigrants, Stock Car Racing, September 11th, American Painters, Hollywood etc..)
ABOUT THE HOSTS: Dave and Serge Bielanko have been leaders of the Philadelphia/New York City rock'n'roll band Marah for the past ten years. From their first album 1998's Let's Cut The Crap...And Hook Up Later On Tonight, (given four stars in Rolling Stone magazine) to their most recent album If You Didn't Laugh, You'd Cry (chosen by Stephen King in Entertainment Weekly as best album of 2006) the brothers Bielanko have played a thousand legendary shows in every big city and every backwater town in the U.S. of A. Their reputation as stellar songwriters, incredible showmen and damn funny storytellers combined with their life-long passion for music, books and history makes the idea of THE HISTORY OF WHERE SOMEONE HAS BEEN ROCKED seem inevitable. Greg Wilson, Dave and Serge's longtime friend, is an accomplished humorist and funnyman. Greg's daily blog, "Xmastime" receives tens of thousands of hits a day as a testament to his talent. The leader of the New York City based band Hayday, Greg has a thorough knowledge of music and history from The Ramones to the Civil Rights era, from Tin Pan Alley to the origin of the cheeseburger, he is an asset to the show as well as one of the funniest, most lovable men on earth!
***************************************************************
"Jukebox Classroom"!!! I hope I came up with that!!! 🤗🤗🤗
Current Events
Say what you will about Hawk Tuah but she's turned out to be one of the more wholesome & refreshing things to pop in online pop culture recently, so I say rock on Hawk Tuah.
Xmastime's Universe
I'm just now realizing I've now conquered the music world...
...the blog world (you're reading it)...
...the podcast world...
...the book world...
...oh dear my little Xmas babies am I runing out of worlds to conquer???!?!? 😬 😮🤯😳
XMASTIME SITCOM EPISODE TITLE SHOWDOWN!
SHOWS: Family Ties vs. Only Fools and Horses
Alex P. Keaton's surprise onscreen meltdown is a fantastic watch but the reveal of Tony Angelino's problem is just too incredible.
ADVANTAGE: Only Fools and Horses
Insta du Kour
I know I've posted this one before but if you don't like it you can eat a bag of dicks & I hope somebody paints a picture of you eating that bag of dicks and I find it so I can post it here.
More on WINGS
I'm Really This Boring?
Ideas. I Have Them.
LOOKING FOR INVESTORS, PEOPLE! 💰 💰 💰 💰
Friday, August 30, 2024
Questions. I Have Them.
Has anyone tried to launch a political campaign with the tagline something like "USA starts with US!"? Or one step more, that it "STARTS WITH U AND BECOMES US!"?
PORRIDGE at 50!
One of the many, many sad "what ifs?" about Richard Beckinsale's tragically young death is he never got the chance to play Paul McCartney in a movie.
On a side note, yes it IS crazy that while we're celebrating Porridge, IN THAT VERY SAME WEEK Beckinsale also starred in the debut of ANOTHER all-time classic of classics, Rising Damp. Incredible; hard to even imagine anyone having a bigger sitcom week in television history (even though they also curiously consistently gave him the worst hair in television history).
Horrible Outcomes: The Choice is Yours
Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh I'm Rich!
SO Close, The New Yorker!
Books & Stuff
Something I Learned About Myself Today
People are much more interested in joining a FaceTime with me if they find out my face is currently sporting the biggest zit of its generation.
Okay Now People
I've seen a ton of crazy shit online like everybody else over the last few decades that I've been more than happy to go along with but I'm drawing the line here when it comes to believing what I'm seeing I mean camon man nobody believes this shit. 😲😲😲😲
The Media is the Fucking Worst, Part CDLLDDXVII
I guess on one hand it's comforting to know that at least someone is calling out the press for their fucking absolute bullshit re: holding Trump's opponents to an impossibly high standard while being fine presenting his naming his farts as being perfectly normal:But then again, while it's one thing for them to pull this for 2016's BUT HER EMAILS!!! bullshit while assuming Trump was gonna lose so it didn't really matter, it's incredible that 8 years later after everything that's transpired they're doing it all over again except with even more expansive & dangerous examples every single day. So....not so comforting after all, and probably getting worse.
Biden was hostile to the Times and other members of the elite press because they refused to give him credit for a somewhat miraculous economic recovery and dogged him about his advanced age. Trump, on the other hand, lives for media attention, even though he rarely says anything that makes sense, so they see him as a candidate playing by the rules because he makes himself available to spout his gibberish.[Last night] Harris and Walz gave a very predictable, anodyne interview. They are both experienced politicians and know how to do these things. As usual, they had to spend about half the time rebutting right-wing smears, dutifully regurgitated by the host Dana Bash. Harris clearly did not need Walz as a crutch and he was his usual charming self when called upon. They got into some policy details, both seemed comfortable, and that was it. It was hard to see what all the media frenzy was about.But it hasn't ended. Almost immediately there were calls for a press conference. Maybe she should just do one like Trump does: Say anything she wants for an hour and then just take three or four questions and call it a day. They seem perfectly satisfied when he does it.
Thursday, August 29, 2024
Statements. I Make Them.
At some point decades ago I thought I’d come up with the “_________, which is illegal in 19 states...” comedy trope and then over the years realized it was just one of those jokes everybody seems to have come up with at the same time and it enjoyed a few decades of welcomed ubiquity; now however I feel like we all need to come together once again & agree that for whatever reason which will probably remain a mystery the joke is so cringe-inducing now you can smell it coming a mile away long enough for a pre-cringe, if not a pre-pre-cringe.
Questions About THE SHINING. I Have Them.
Why would Wendy tell the truth about how Danny broke his arm? She's probably never gonna see this person again, all she has to do is toss it off as a playground accident and move the fuck on with her life. Dafuck, Wendy NO WONDER YOUR HUSBAND TRIED TO MURDER YOU GIRL!!
Reflections II, with Xmastime
If I knew how much more of an unapologetic lefty pinko progressive Democrat socialist I'd be as I got older I'd have tried to make a lot more money in my 20's.
Reflections, with Xmastime
58 Years Ago Today
Current Events
Apparently CNN wants us to think the line between a historically flourishing democracy dedicated to the idea of we the people and a fascist regime dedicated to the idea of pleasing Trump’s whims 24/7 is so thin that it rests on the idea of whether or not Kamala Harris’ policy-driven answers are substantive enough that they satisfy the incredibly nuanced & thoughtful interpretation of someone who thus far has been on Planet Earth for the last 9 years without somehow having already formed a strong opinion on who or what Donald Trump is. Great.
"OASIS WHO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
Carz & Colorz
Look Out Capitalism, Xmastime Is Gunning for You Now
Why is what we do for work called “making a living” if we’re already alive?
Is this tied to my earlier thesis; if you refer to your job as LITERALLY “making a living” then obviously there’s nothing that can be ascribed as being more important to you, which means I’m *guessing* the phrase was made up by the people who would just happen to benefit the most from people who have been led to believe that the only reason for being alive is working hard to the point that they've coined a term linking the two together and of course these are *I’m guessing* the very same people who just so happen to be the biggest promotors of capitalism, which just so happens to be the United States economic system. 🤔 🤷♂️
Is this tied to my earlier thesis; if you refer to your job as LITERALLY “making a living” then obviously there’s nothing that can be ascribed as being more important to you, which means I’m *guessing* the phrase was made up by the people who would just happen to benefit the most from people who have been led to believe that the only reason for being alive is working hard to the point that they've coined a term linking the two together and of course these are *I’m guessing* the very same people who just so happen to be the biggest promotors of capitalism, which just so happens to be the United States economic system. 🤔 🤷♂️
Something You Should Know About Me
XMASTIME WORLDS CROSSING ALERT
Who was a fan of this classic sitcom? 😆 pic.twitter.com/Ghhst9T6Ne
— 80s on the Brain (@80sOnTheBrain) August 29, 2024
INteresting...CURious, Even...
It popped up in my head this morning that it's really funny how America has always prided itself on a work ethic signaled to be important above all else, that a life defined by hard struggle worked down to the bone will somehow be rewarded either in this lifetime or the next one when it turns out that this kind of moralistic push to be working so hard as a raison d’etre *just so happens to be* what perfectly provides the means of production in ways that most benefit the biggest beneficiaries of capitalism, which just so happens to be the United States economic system. 🤔 🤷♂️
More Oasis/Liam
I don't know why I keep posting about the Oasis reunion since I don't really care about it other than I'm happy for their fans, but I must say the "Liam Gallagher interviewed by little kids" video has been comedy gold for years now. 🤣😜🕺
OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Last night HERE I rose holy hell re: not one not two but THREE of my commute escalators down in a 24-hour period; this morning alone 2 more weren't working and I've hit the wall and just can't do it anymore. It kinda seemed funny at first but at this point I either need to abandon it or compile like 10,000 of these and then present them to the DC Metro and I can already tell you that's not fucking happening. So I'm officially retiring my whole thing about the shitty escalators on my commute.
CLICK HERE FOR PREVIOUS ESCALATOR BULLSHIT
Wednesday, August 28, 2024
I Am Not Made of Stone, People!
I was reading this article about a 4 year-old kid who broke a Bronze Age jar at a museum that's at LEAST 3,500 years old & because I live in a world where the news is 24/7 "YOUR HEAD IS ABOUT TO BE CHOPPED OFF RIGHT NOW OMG!!!!!!", I was assuming it would end with outraged histrionics from the museum and a feeling this kid's parents were in deep deep shit, so I was pleasantly touched/surprised to see how it's going:
“The jar will be returned to its place in a short time,” the statement continued, adding that the museum would use the restoration as an opportunity to educate the public.
Speaking to Israeli news outlet Ynet Tuesday, the museum’s head Inbal Rivlin invited the boy and his mother, who was also present during the incident, back to the museum for a private tour.
“The museum is not a mausoleum but a living place, open to families (and) accessible,” she told the news outlet, adding: “We are appealing to parents: Don’t be afraid. Things like this happen. We will fix the jar and put it back.”
As I was just saying a minute ago people, I am not made of stone, people! 🥲🥲🥲🥲
AHEM. (cough)
AN EXPLANATION OF MY EARLIER POST ON THE SPORTS GUY BILL SIMMONS' DUMB THOUGHTS ON ROCK & ROLL MUSIC:
Oasis & Marley!! 🤗 🎸
But the problem is the music. Oasis don’t do fast songs. Noel plays his guitar as if he’s scared it will break, and Oasis’s funkless, sexless plod is always carefully pitched below the velocity at which fluid dynamics dictate that you might spill your lager. Is there anything more useless than a rock band that doesn’t rock?After years of thinking I was an Oasis fan I was shocked (SHOCKED!!!) a few years ago to go back and discover that other than Live Forever their first album is one long blur of mid-tempo sludge, barely topped by their follow-up album solely because instead of just one big hit there were two. Other than their big hits their albums are fairly unlistenable and then you're gonna pay like $10K to watch them all just stand there for 2 hours? No thanks. I still like them a lot as guys, they're both funny af quote machines and I'm glad this big reunion tour is making their fans so happy tho, so (kind of) rock on!
"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), "didn't YOU post something absolutely brilliant years ago about dudes who do not rock?"
Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did:
1) Acoustic guitar = not rocking
2) No drummer = not rocking
3) Playing with dude who's over 25 and isn't a movie star who's wearing sunglasses = not rocking
4) Wearing shorts = not rocking
5) Wearing shorts that are obvi...READ MORE
Keeping it Real, with Xmastime
Lost amid all the Oasis reunion hoopla is the fact that if you want a guaranteed laugh from me, just do the Liam Gallagher walk. Automatic comedy gold.
The entire country this morning #Oasis2025 pic.twitter.com/QushWcTyqX
— Best of British Comedy (@BestOfUKComedy) August 27, 2024
I Got the Broke-Down No Count Goddam Escalator Blues, Baby 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 SPECIAL EMERGENCY HAT TRICK EDITION!!!!🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨
***BREAKING***
Now THIS is a first: each of the last 3 legs of my commute, starting with yesterday evening, had a broken-down ass elevator 😡😡😡😡😡 I mean I don't even know if I'm even joking anymore; at this pointy I'm honestly surprised if I make it from my apartment & back without at least of the six escalators being broken. Unbelievable.
***END BREAKING***
I commute to work three days a week on the DC Metro & it is INCREDIBLY rare to go the entire three days without AT LEAST one of the escalators being broken; here's one from today. Fucking grrrrrrrrrr. 😡😡😡
NOTE: yes I know I fucked up the video recording but you get the idea.
CLICK HERE FOR PREVIOUS ESCALATOR BULLSHIT
Ricky!!!!!
Some dude we all need to thank put together a Twitter thread of some of Rickey Henderson’s craziest stats; since I pretend to care about you people, I will now choose my favorite 3:
15 Years Ago On Xmastime
1995 was, if I may repeat myself, a helluva year.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
1995
February: Broke up with college girlfriend, kicking off my greatest pussy run to date. "Man, it's ALWAYS gonna be like this!!" I remember thinking.
March: Sistatime! came from her high school (she was a senior) to visit. First time I had ever drunk beer with Sistatime! And by "drunk beer with Sistatime!" I mean bought her beer and then sat through a pledge trying to tell me he "liked her."
April: bought first computer (on the very day I met Eric Craft), was one of only two people I knew were online: me and RRTHUR. 2400 bps modem; could upload about 2 paragraphs an hour, which would blow you away like it was landing on the fucking moon.
April: hooked up with a girl who as I was about to "kick things up a notch" told me she had a boyfriend; to which I replied "yeah well, he ain't here, now is he?" NAILed it! And then her!
April: saw the Ramones for the last time, they played at my college and thanks to jennie fennell I got to hang out with them. I'm sure they were as thrilled as I was.
May: last time I ever saw my girlfriend, she was going home to Richmond, we starting making out. I told her she could only stay over if I got laid. She left.
May: Graduation Day!
May: Graduation Day + 1: the great pussy run ended. Going from BMOC to townie was harsh. They should warn people about this shit, there should be a fucking class about this....was I not at a pretend college, godammit??!?!??!.
August: went to Brooklyn to record the greatest ep of all time, changing music - nay, art, NAY - life as a whole. Did it in three hours, including teaching everybody the songs and 2 extra outtakes. AND probably broke for lunch.
August: got the best blowjob of my life cause RRTHUR left me alone, wasted, at the Halloween Bar with a "young lady" pouring beer down my throat with a hose so I'd fuck her. 300 pounds, yes (her, not me - it was 1995!); but still the best blowjob I've ever gotten. I guess she really HAD become great at putting stuff in her mouth.
Next Morning: woke up, had covered both her and her bed with urine. Snuck out to head back to RRTHUR's apartment, thinking hey, this is Brooklyn, she'll never find me, opened her door...it was right across from Rrthur's apartment. Christ.
August: Moved to Oxford, Mississippi. Yikes. First meal was at The Beacon, where the napkins are deep-fried.
October: bought my Telecaster in Memphis. $900. Hmm. That's paid for itself.
October: started a "band" with Rylo, which consisted of him tuning for 20 minutes, then yelling at me for 20 minutes, then him storming out. But we did crush Stagger Lee, 20 Flight Rock, You Can't Do That and Do Anything You Wanna Do. All, for some reason, in my nightshirt a lá Charles Ingalls that my Aunt Pat had sent me.
November: had THIS Thanksgiving. I promise you: this is on tape, and I will find it.
December: got my first real job after college, doing graphic design at Sir Speedy, a career field 1) I didn't really know existed and 2) neither did anybody else. But I called from the British pay phone on the Square, convinced him I had a Mac (a Proforma 475!) and was brilliant. Then I got stuck in a huge snowstorm in Virgina for 2 weeks. I do remember the last song I heard somewhere between Knoxville and Nashville before I stopped late night at a diner and called home on a pay phone to say I had gotten a job: PS I Love You. Slice.
The Rewatchables
Advice for Young People. I Have It.
I don't consider myself to be a man of great wisdom and I don't think anybody ever looks to me for advice but as I see all the young people in my life growing closer to adulthood there's one piece of advice I would like to pass on to them: take all the silverware out of the dishwasher after every wash, don’t tell yourself “oh I’ll just keep them in there until the rack is full” because before you know it you’ll just find a way to be using one fork over & over & over again which is the definition of male pattern sadness.
PREVIOUS ADVICE HERE
PREVIOUS ADVICE HERE
I Fucking Give Up
Tuesday, August 27, 2024
An Xmastime Prayer
I'm Still Waiting for Someone Else to Bring This Up
After the wildly insulting - yet appropriate - headline, this article has some good points about felonies and voting in the upcoming presidential election but then I must be the crazy one because I'm still at a loss why it's apparently illegal for a convicted felon to VOTE for president but it's not illegal for a convicted felon to BE president, so what the hell do know? 🤔🤷♂️
Xmastime Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime
Malcolm Gladwell should've asked Helen Chappel about his 10,000 hours theory before he wasted everybody's time with that bullshit in Outliers.
Hear Hear!
BEATDOWN TIME!
And oh while that's not what this post is about, I happened to notice that as of today, Xmastime is just about the only blog still kicking:
RYAN RUNS EUROPE? Done in 2011.Then only one still at it? Shedworking, which is just some dumb "what to do with your plants" wedsite and has so many ads from 2006 on it that tbh I'm working myself up to a lather right now & if I was still the same scrappy 30-something year-old who gave Shedwhatever their first beatdown back in 2008 then I'd be on a train right now heading once again to 38 Tillary Street in Brooklyn.
Design and Print? "Sorry, the blog at dypgijon.blogspot.com has been removed."
Crunchy Chicken Cooks? Done in 2011
Innovation Economy? Done in 2009
Code Intensity? Done in 2009
TravelingwithAndrewandJean? "Sorry, the blog at travelingwithandrewandjen.blogspot.com has been removed."
The Sartorialist? Just gone
The Vacationist? Just gone
XMASTIME WILL OUTLAST YOU ALL MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!
Thoughts. i Have Them.
The first time as a kid when an actor you recognized as a character on another show showed up in another show as a whole different character must be mind-blowing.
Brilliant THE NEW YORKER Cartoon du Jour
Monday, August 26, 2024
Living Above a Wegmans
The best thing about walking around a supermarket is you don’t hafta fear the politics of hallway walking.
Sunday, August 25, 2024
Brilliant New Character Idea
Detective whose nickname is "Fraidy Cat" because whenever he's near a crime scene he's too scared to get out of his car; he still somehow manages to solve the crime every week, presumably fueled by a fear of having to eventually get out of his car if he doesn't stay undefeated against crimes. Ralph Malph meets Sherlock Holmes.
OFAH du Jour 🤣🤣🤣🤣
'I have come to confess my sins!'pic.twitter.com/4s9b9Z74au
— Only Fools and Horses Lines (@OnlyFoolsLines) August 25, 2024
RUDY!
I mean Kyle Brandt's Ned Beatty impression here, what can I say I've just been listening to it over & over howling laughing for about two days now.
LISTEN TO THE ENTIRE EPISODE HERE
State du Moi + Ideas. I Have Them.
Yes of course I'm binge-watching Rocco DiSpirito's brilliantly terrible 2003 reality series The Restaurant because god forbid I go longer than 10 minutes between viewings, and it's inspired me to think of a similar show I'd love to see:
Reality show about the incredibly frantic opening of a restaurant in downtown Manhattan that starts all panicky like Rocco's - the entire opening scene is everybody melting down, there's NO way this incredibly important landmark event restaurant opening is going to happen oh my god NOBODY'S SIGNED OFF ON THE GODDAM BAR STOOLS YET!!! even just watching it you're sweating, there's no way this is gonna happen, then we cut to our first commercial...
...a minute later we're back and the restaurant's entirely finished, there's nothing left to do now but wait for opening night, and the chef's sitting at the bar in one of the new bar stools shrugging his shoulders saying "well, that was easy" and BLAMMO! show's over after like 4 minutes.
HEYOOOOOOOO! 🕺 🕺🤣 🤣
Speaking of "LIFE IN ROCK" ...
...if I’d spent half the time on the music as I did on these emails my band would be ruling the world by now. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
PARKING LOT: Feelings!
Now here's an old gem I'd totally forgotten about; me & The Barber kickin' it at 100 Metro, I'm guessing 2006ish? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Rock On With The Sonics
Yesterday HERE I mentioned Rrthur (YES ladies, THAT Rrthur) dropped a Sonics song into his college band's debut ep and now I'd like to remind you nice people he also name-dropped them on his subsequent band Idle's second album Gravity Rocks:
He digs The Sonics, The Dead and The Ramones
Rock on with The Sonics - and Rrthur! - everybody!!
Saturday, August 24, 2024
Questions. I Have Them.
Now that the WNBA has some wind in its sails and could use a big marketing push has anybody thought to ask Howard Stern and Bart Giamatti to team up and recreate this classic bit for the league?
Xmastime is Just Sayin' Ya'll
Advice for Young People. I Have It.
I don't consider myself to be a man of great wisdom and I don't think anybody ever looks to me for advice but as I see all the young people in my life growing closer to adulthood there's one piece of advice I would like to pass on to them: while you're a bachelor and wanting to try & eat better, make sure you have an apartment where the TV is in plain view from your kitchen.
PREVIOUS ADVICE HERE
PREVIOUS ADVICE HERE
2009 Yankees 😢
I have never cried in an office. I cannot imagine a setting in which I would even come close. But I will say that the closest I've ever come is watching the Yankees' impromptu swarming of Matsui when he was just announced on the field and given his World Series ring. Awesome. - XMASTIME
One of the many bazillion things I miss about living in New York is watching Yankees games on the YES Network every day which meant you could watch Old-Timer's Day; apparently today is this year's Old Timer's Day and they're honoring the last World Series team, the 2009 Yankees.
The 1998 team was my first love but I almost loved the 2009 as much. It really was the "Year of the Walkoff "- including one insane week in May - and they even did the unthinkable and had a few laughs without the Earth collapsing into the Sun, and I even got to experience the Legends Suite at the Stadium!
So of course I'm boo-hooing all the way through this but hey who knows if these motherfuckers will ever get their shit together and win a goddam title again.
The 1998 team was my first love but I almost loved the 2009 as much. It really was the "Year of the Walkoff "- including one insane week in May - and they even did the unthinkable and had a few laughs without the Earth collapsing into the Sun, and I even got to experience the Legends Suite at the Stadium!
So of course I'm boo-hooing all the way through this but hey who knows if these motherfuckers will ever get their shit together and win a goddam title again.
Honoring the 2009 World Series Championship Team 🏆#OldTimersDay | #RepBX pic.twitter.com/Z4tsCkiEHM
— New York Yankees (@Yankees) August 24, 2024
Blooperz Classicz
Following this week's brilliant stop-action Goldfish & Oreo blooper reel from yours truly, exactly nofuckingbody millions of Xmastime fans have been clamoring for me to re-post my 2008 classic of classics blooper reel so I will now - you're welcome and I offer NO APOLOGIES for the shitty film quality - 2008 was bananas time, people!!
A Note on a PEANUTS Character
The Sonics!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE The Sonics; they're like the Sex Pistols if the Pistols had stayed away and STFU and been a little more mysterious. Their record is still perfect almost 60 years later, they influenced every shitty to great band in the world who were lucky enough to get their beefy paws on the record (me), DT & the Shakes dropped a Sonics reference in the final song of their brilliant debut ep, (AND Rrthur (YES ladies, THAT Rthur) would name-drop them again in his subsequent band Idle in this absolute 1995 banger!!!) they always somehow just seemed super-mysterious to the point of maybe not existing, and now I'm miffed that this doc has been out since 2008 and yet I can't find it streaming anywhere (TO SAY NOTHING OF WHERE THE FUCK IS OUR NICKY HOPKINS DOCUMENTARY???!!)
As I texted someone earlier about this:
you take Nirvana/Pearl Jam & I’ll Take The Sonics/Paul Revere & the Raiders
LISTEN TO HERE COME THE SONICS HERE!!! 🎸 🕺
Statements. I Make Them.
We live in a free country so you're welcome to think whatever you want to think but Malibu's Most Wanted was a funny af movie, guys.
Friday, August 23, 2024
Just Incredible du Jour 😂 🤣 👏👏👏👏
They found the person that spread the Beyoncé rumor #DNC2024 pic.twitter.com/kxF38mbNYK
— Petty White (@himayw88) August 23, 2024
Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime
Thoughtful Questions. I Have Them.
Why has egg foo young never become a frozen-food staple? It seems like a combo of omelette/gravy could easily be flash-frozen so that it's delightfully microwaveable, n'est-pas? 🤔 🤷♂️🥡
Food Regrets = LIfe Regrets
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