Gettysburg 2.0

Today is the 148th anniversary of the kickoff of The Battle of Gettysburg, which not only turned the tide of the Civil War but also is the only reason anybody still knows that a score is  when I gets up in some slippity-sloppity, which also happens about once every 148 years  20 years, and HERE'S AN ARTICLE about the 50th reunion, which had 50,000 soldiers come back to remember "oh that's right, it's fucking hot as hell here in July.  Maybe we all shouldn't be wearing dark, woolen three-piece suits?":

Temperatures climbed into the triple digits on the first few days of the reunion. According to a report by the U.S. Army’s Chief Surgeon, 744 cases were admitted to the camp’s hospitals, and 319 of those were for heat exhaustion. There were nine fatalities during the reunion, but considering the mean age of the veterans present was 72 and that most had traveled hundreds of miles to attend, it’s a wonder that number wasn’t greater. The post-reunion report by the Pennsylvania Commission declared the number of fatalities as “nothing short of marvelous.”

While this wasn't exactly a "re-enactment", the heat is my biggest problem with war:

Anytime I read about or see a re-enactment of any Civil War battle, it's always in the summer, and 100 degrees. In woolen uniforms. Imagine going outside in such heat in a coupla sweaters and doing ANYTHING, much less walking for dozens of miles and then getting shot at. At the Battle of Monmouth during the Revolutionary War, as many soldiers died due to 104-degree heat as they did to bullets. Vietnam was in the jungle, so it was either 100 degrees or pouring rain. Today our soldiers are in the scorching desert heat of Iraq. 

Valley Forge, now that's more my style. Hang out in some tents playing cards, snow falling by the foot. If you get into a battle, you don't hafta worry about the heat. Hey, I liked playing football in the cold and snow and hated playing it in the heat, why wouldn't I prefer my wars the same war? It's not rocket science, people.

I feel the same way about the storming of the Bastille. Any account you read of that day always mentions "and by the way, it was boiling hot."  I mean, it's the middle of the goddam summer for fuck's sake. If I was the HFIC, there's no way it woulda happened then. I'd have been like "come on guys, can't this wait til the fall? I mean, it's too fucking hot for this shit today!"

How different world history would be if it had to deal with my aversion to the sun.