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Sunday, February 03, 2008

1-800-WINGMAN

I think married guys should hire themselves out as wingmen for single dudes. Put an ad on Craigslist, help out us lone wolves. Let's face it - they prolly want an excuse to get outta the house, and if they can do that while getting paid to re-live their swinging singles days, what's not to love? Of course part of the deal is they don't hook up themselves; in fact, the arrangement is based on them doing the exact opposite. Their job is to act like a complete fucking douche, so that I cme out looking like a sweetheart. You can do a lil good cop/bad cop, maybe even a fake fight ( a la The Baroofie Sting), whatever you wanna work out together. To me, this is fucking genius.

8 comments:

ope said...

[cough]

Xmastime said...

sorry, brah. you cant pull off "douche." and "mute drunk" only intrigues the ladies more, which doesnt help me. (will keep your resume "on file")

Angelissima said...

Wingman Meetups Everywhere

We got that.
I suppose your on to something, XMASTIME.

Angelissima said...

self-correction

you're on to something.

Gina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gina said...

Off the topic.

I was sitting in Starbucks last night, trying to wrap up some paperwork, when I realized that the kid sitting in front of me with his friend or GF was the SAME guy who I was talking to that night at Applebees, the same jerk who was making fun of the distraught man who had lost his father...whatever he was sitting there with this really cute little chickedee, who, while smiling and flirting with him the entire time, called him a 'douche', 'douchebag', " stupid jerk', 'f-ing Idiot', and 'fag',more than I cared to count. She'd toss in an occasional " I HATE YOU" for added effect.

He seemed to be sucking it up, intoxicated, as if it's all he wanted to hear. Is this what men really want? It was just brutal. BRUTAL. Maybe if she were unattractive, it wouldn't have carried the same meaning for him?
I'm sure if I had said the same he would have responded, " FU old bag."

Angelissima said...

for the love of mike, stay out of crapple-bees.

Angelissima said...

and starf*cks for that matter.

good lord. maybe hang at the regent.
the crowd is lots more colorful and less - douche - like.