I Hate Will Ferrell Vol. CLXII

We all know how I feel about Will Ferrell. But what really kills me is that when left to his own devices, he's not funny. Watch him on a talk show. He's not funny. But he gets huge laughs thanks to a kind of "system" he's perfected: he'll say something kinda dum-dum benign, like "I have a truck" and then give out that completely blank i-have-no-corneas stare. Meanwhile the audience is sitting there and starts thinking "well, it's WF, it must be hysterical" and starts losing their shit. The more he just sits there staring like a fucking dope, the more apeshit everyone goes. I saw him doing this the other night on Letterman or something and I thought you know, it's really fucking genius...say a few words, then stare blankly at people...fuck it, make THEM think of the punchlines themselves. I think in watching Ferrell talk, people subconsciously start coming up with their own jokes in their heads, thinking oh, that's what HE'S thinking. He's in effect making the audience do his work for him. Fucking genius. Maybe one day women will figure this act out, and when their man is horny and looking for some the woman can just walk into the bedroom and deliver the Ferrell Blank Stare until the dude says "you know what you're right, let me take care of this" and whacks off, allowing her to get back to her Redbook.

ANOTHER THING I HATE ABOUT WILL FERRELL: He's taking John C. Reilly, who I thought had the potential to be a great actor, down with him. I won't even dignify their latest one by naming it, and that fucking Walk Hard steaming pile was nothing but him trying to be Will Ferrell. John: GET A NEW FRIEND! SAVE YOURSELF.