Great Question du Jour

Oh Dear God a Rock List You Know I Can't Resist

Okay I promise you this GREATEST DEBUT ALBUMS OF ALL TIME LIST is gonna be the last one. But right now from this 100 I will pick my personal favorites. You're welcome, people of Earth!

Big Star, #1 Record (1972)

Violent Femmes, Violent Femmes (1983)

New York Dolls, New York Dolls (1973)

The Modern Lovers, The Modern Lovers (1976)

The Jesus and Mary Chain, Psychocandy (1985)

The Stooges, The Stooges (1969)

Pavement, Slanted and Enchanted (1992)

The Sex Pistols, Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols (1977)

The Beatles, Please Please Me (1963)

R.E.M., Murmur (1983)

The Clash, The Clash (1979) - wait why would they list the American version and not the original British? wtf? 😡

The Velvet Underground, The Velvet Underground and Nico (1967)

The Ramones, Ramones, (1976) 

ALBUMS OBNOXIOUSLY LEFT OFF THIS SO-CALLED LIST:

Camper Van Beethoven, Telephone Free Landslide Victory, (1985)

Marah, Let's Cut the Crap and Hook Up Later On Tonight, (1998)

Tandy, Some Summer's Day, (1997)

Okay that's all I can bother myself to think of right now I'll be back, losers.

Too Sexy, Lays! Too Sexy! 😡

Random Moment from The Ghost of Xmastime Comments Sections Past

 

😬🤷‍♂️🕺

Don't Forget Your EGG FOO WHAT?! This Weekend!

I mean I’m not saying Brat Pitt IS imagining my naked body right now, I’m just saying it’s literally possible based on actual events. #eggfoowhat?! HEAR IT ALL HERE!!!! 

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, my first cronut, podcasting, Teenage Riot, Liev Schrieber narrating anything, 

Oh FUCK YOU, Canada! #jelly 😥

Fab Four Friday

This is one of the most bonkers photos I've ever seen, just the goddam Beatles in 1967 eating in the company cafeteria like everybody else. And I'm not even going to try to make a gross joke about what that girl leaning over towards them is saying.

The Beatles take a tea break during the rehearsals for All You Need Is Love. Despite the previous 5 years unprecedented events, here they are, sat together, tea and ciggies on the go, almost like nothing has happened. pic.twitter.com/idrYygZP0D

— Beatles Books Podcast (@BooksBeatles) September 30, 2022

Opportunity Blown

They really could’ve been America’s Most Adorable Couple, but they blew it. Sad!

Arer You There God? It's Me, Xmastime

Sometimes when I think about my nephew all I can really think is, "I can't fucking believe this kid hasn't watched a single minute of Family Ties."

I remain,

XMASTIME

Oh Great

On top of everything else I gotta worry about THIS asshole now too?

Yasssss WC!!!!!

I now have a reason to get married, so longtime Xmastime buddy Cindy Softball - fellow great lover of White Castle - can throw these at me & my ultimately-litigious bride instead of uncooked rice. 🤣🕺

You're Welcome, Earth

I was gonna make a "what the hell do I care what a model thinks?" here but during such serious times, I decided to take the high road instead. 😞

I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!

🤗🤣🤗🤣🤗🤣🤗🤣

See for yourself why fans and critics can't stop talking about #AbbottElementary! 🤣 Stream on Hulu now and watch new episodes Wednesdays on ABC. pic.twitter.com/P37EAB3Qzr

— Abbott Elementary (@AbbottElemABC) September 29, 2022

Egg Foo What?! Episode 16

Middle-aged white dudes who don’t love Pearl Jam, going to church, and Mike defends…(checks notes)…snakes. #wtf #eggfoowhat?! HEAR IT ALL HERE!!!! 

Oh No Not On Halloween

(Originally posted in 2010):

Shortly after I moved to Brooklyn in January of 1998 GodIHateYourSteveWynn, Lux and I went to some basement in the city, where Steve Wynn of the Dream Syndicate was playing a solo acoustic show. He was trying to plug his latest album and nobody was really paying attention, everybody was kinda milling around chatting. After I'd enjoyed a few warm Heinekens I thought I'd do Mr. Wynn a favor, and started shouting out Dream Syndicate songs I wanted to hear. Almost immediately he simply shrugged "f*ck it" and played whatever I asked for over the next 45 minutes or so.

I've always hated that "Only in New York City, kids!" saying, but later on while standing there talking to Steve Wynn I remember thinking "there's no way I'd be standing here talking to Steve Wynn after picking out his set list anywhere else but in New York City." 

I can still feel the smile on my face from that night. And now LOOK who liked one of my Tweets yesterday! 🤗🎸🤗🎸🤗🎸🤗🎸

And I wasn't even joking - I really did play it on (okay, almost) every radio show I did back in college.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, my first cronut, podcasting, Teenage Riot, 

Before Today/Today

I will find you. 😡 

POET LAUREATE HEADS-UP!

 Previous Xmastime buddy Ada Limon stuff HERE. 

Kentucky writer @adalimon will give her inaugural reading as the nation's 24th poet laureate this evening. She tells me she plans to read from the books she has written over the last 12 years. @librarycongress pic.twitter.com/kpwv4uDhQb

— Julia Benbrook (@JuliaBenbrook) September 29, 2022

15 Years Ago Today

I wrote the single-greatest blog post of all time, about Mike and the Mad Dog:

4:18 Just occurred to me - I hope they brought this guy in just to make Dawg hafta say Colorado again. Poor bastard, he can’t even fall back on “Rockies” and sound like an adult. - READ MORE

Enjoy, nice people of Earth! 

An Olde Xmastime Thought I Was Reminded of Last Night

Why is blowing your nose in public accepted but not farting? I mean, at least farts are funny. Blowing your nose is just gross. #XmastimeThoughts - XMASTIME

Making the act of blowing your nose in public illegal will be knocked out Day 1 of an Xmastme Presidency!

Questions. I Have Them.

Is Hakeem Olajuwon the greatest NBA example of "Incredible player curiously overlooked/underrated?" 🤔

State du Moi

I am rather quickly going from “I hate paper straws but if that’s what I need to do to help save the planet then I’m happy to use them” to “I hate paper straws and they are worse than the Earth burning in a huge fireball just give me a damn plastic straw already please.” 😡😡😡😡

When You Answer Your Headline's Question in the Headline.

I mean ffs people....

WHA-WHA-WHA-WHAAAAAAAAAT??!?!!?

If this is the long-rumored soul covers album Bruce fans haven been waiting on for years I AM IN!!!!!

UPDATE: it IS!!!!!!! This track list looks fucking amazing

“Only the Strong Survive" by

Bruce Springsteen

Out November 11

1. Only The Strong Survive

2. Soul Days

3. Night Shift

4. Do I Love You

5. The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine

Anymore

6. Turn Back The Hands of Time

7. When She Was My Girl

8. Western Union Man

9. I Wish It Would Rain

10. Don't Play That Song

11. Any Other Way

12. I Forgot To Be Your Lover

13. Rooms of Gloom

14. What Becomes of the

Brokenhearted

15. Someday We'll Be Together

16. Any Other Way

Turn it up tomorrow, September 29th at 10:00 AM ET! 📻 pic.twitter.com/uvu93rgGAo

— Bruce Springsteen (@springsteen) September 28, 2022

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, my first cronut, podcasting, 

Rock List!

Pitchfork has a list of the BEST 250 SONGS OF THE 1990s, and since I am so nice to you people, I’ve decided to pick out my Top 10. You’re welcome, Earth!

Len: Steal My Sunshine

Cornershop: Brimful of Asha

Blink-182: Dammit (more the video, if I’m being honest)

Temple of the Dog: Hunger Strike

Oasis: Don’t Look Back in Anger

The Verve: Bitter Sweet Symphony

Pavement: Summer Babe

Sonic Youth: Kool Thing

Sleater-Kinney: One More Hour

Pulp: Common People

In RED = might be under consideration for my own 1990s list

State du Moi

Just thought I heard someone say my name behind me and when I spun around I realized he’d said “great” to someone else and so now he’s looking at me like “oh this jagoff literally thinks he’s great?”

Life. It's really happening, isn't it?

Why YES, sulaimansdada...

...there IS a way to read WILLIAMSBURG RATS: A MANNY'S TOUR OF DUTY!!! 🤗

A Heartbreaking Classic Teen Movie In One Act

😢

Hear Here!!

Brett Favre is rich & white and Mississippi is black & poor so of course there's ZERO chance Favre will get a slap on this wrist but I 100% agree with Michael Rappaport here.

A message for Brett Favre & all of those in Sports Media that think this isn't worth the news coverage it deserves@iamrapaport Stays Disruptive pic.twitter.com/9m8MBB6n0S

— MichaelRapaport (@MichaelRapaport) September 26, 2022

The American Dream (Eyeroll as Usual)

A coupla months ago HERE I wrote about the bullshit of the American Dream and how it's done untold amounts of damage on countless numbers of people.

ANYhoo, then all of a sudden this image presents itself and I wholeheartedly agree with the fish quote. I doubt it was really Einstein who said it, but the actual thought still stands. You're welcome, People Of Earth!

Life & How to Live It

A few weeks ago I wrote about our lives being like the waves of the ocean and now I see this photo. Not EXACTLY the same but juuuuuuuuuuust enough to, once again, confirm my own genius. It is I who am truly humbled, faithful readers.

I'll Say This...

...cows may not have been the right word here but I have no problem refusing to combine milk from two different jugs.

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, my first cronut, 

Blind Taste Test

And unlike my own style of eating, which consisted of hovering over my plate swatting away hands like a fucking ninja, kids aren’t selfish at all with food - like rich people, they have no idea there might ever be an end to their supply. - WILLIAMSBURG RATS: A Manny's Tour of Duty

Rich people like to surrender to the chef since they know if they don't like it they can always just get something else, so while there's no way in h-e-double hockey sticks I would try this I can't believe this hasn't already been more of a *thing*.

Jesus H. Christ, Indeed

Oh no Evangelicals may be losing steam:

The root of the discord lies in the fact that many Christians have embraced the worst aspects of our culture and our politics. When the Christian faith is politicized, churches become repositories not of grace but of grievances, places where tribal identities are reinforced, where fears are nurtured, and where aggression and nastiness are sacralized. The result is not only wounding the nation; it’s having a devastating impact on the Christian faith.

I don't really believe any of this will actually change anytime soon and I suspect it will only continue to get worse & worse. After all, while I am not a man of god or religion, from what I've observed, nothing turns people into assholes quicker than believing they have “God” on their side.

Oh Look a Replacements List!!!

I stumbled into some random 50 BEST REPLACEMENTS SONGS list, and I will now offer two probably-brilliant opinions:

THE SONG TRAGICALLY RANKED TOO LOW

If Only You Were Lonely (47) - while not exactly breaking the record for originality musically, this is a masterpiece of young, Midwestern Hank Williams set in the early 80's. Typical of the best of Westerberg, in that the lines when taken by themselves reveal the weariness of a much older man.

THE SONG TRAGICALLY RANKED TOO HIGH

We're Coming Out (15) - 15??!!! What? A thoroughly forgettable song from the triumphant Let it Be that is a Westerbergian rote "here's a song about the band that's kinda hardcore but kinda not and kinda features us putting a stamp down about our cultural relevance but kinda doesn't too". Ugh. 15?!?!?!??

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms, The Wonder Years reboot, 

The Reviews for My Book are Getting Embarrassing but I Guess I Have to Accept Them 😜🤗🕺🕺

 

The Juxtaposition of the American South and Its Curious Relationship with the Third Reich

It's one hell of a juxtaposition that one moment the Nazis were sending over consultants to the Deep South to learn tips on how to oppress/exterminate a race of people and then the next moment we were bringing over their best rocket scientists to Alabama to build the space program. 🤷‍♂️

(Obviously I knew all about the Huntsville, AL group but it wasn't until Ken Burns' PBS doc that I learned the Nazis used our Jim Crow laws like kids use YouTube for learning shit*.)

*(I don't wanna be one of those people that sees a doc/reads a Wikipedia article and then wants to make you believe they knew all this stuff before as if they'd studied it at Braniac McBrainiac University.)

Yes I Am Now in Genius Company, Quelle Suprise

I've always crinkled my nose a bit whenever I've heard someone remark "oh really, why would aliens visit Earth, they're so much more sophisticated than us they'll just think we're stupid and move on." This is one of those memes at dinner parties dudes use to make us think they're super-smart; the rest of us idiots hold out hope for visitors from other planets because we're simpletons but only HE is so brilliant, SO elevated as to understand the limitations of the human mental capacity relative to other beings throughout the Universe. Eyeroll.

But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “doesn't it turn out that one of the smartest - and handsomest! - people agrees with you? Sigh. Yes he does, faithful reader, YES he does:

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😲😳😲😳😲😳😲😳

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XMASTIME BUMPER STICKER

"To save the day it’s not up to the oppressed to be heroes, it’s up to everybody else to be human beings" - Xmastime

State du Moi

Going to a 6 year-old's private school soccer game means spending about 8 minutes afterwards dancing on lasers asking him the kid's name who was twice as good as everybody else before finally giving up and blurting "what's the black kid's name?" 🤷‍♂️

Muse It or Lose It

George W. Bush running for president was - for me, anyway - the first time a lot of the country decided they wanted a president who was "a guy I'd have a beer with!" At the time, I thought they meant they wanted a super-intelligent, accomplished person who was also a bit salt-of-the-Earth and could eat a hot dog without caring if it was made of asshole and snouts. But still, no matter what, crazy smart and accomplished.

But now I realize what really happened is we all decided we all should be incredibly offended at the idea that we’re not smart enough to be president, or that someone could be elected BECAUSE they were smarter than "me". So now we start with "only someone not smarter than me", and here we are. Thanks, America. 😡

Muse It or Lose It

After watching the Ken Burns Holocaust doc and then waking up to news that Italy has just elected its most severe right leader since a scrappy little character called Mussilini (to say nothing of Sweden - SWEDEN! - just electing a far-right extremist), I am officially getting terrified that shortly after January 2025 we'll all be in the streets fighting for rat meat while Dear Leader Trump randomly shoot us for fun.

However, as these things pile up I find myself becoming less passionate and more just wanting to be on the record, so. Here we are.

Say Hey, Willie!

Baseball historian John Thorn's Baseball in 25 Objects highlights one of the greatest of all, Willie May's glove:

It is a Rawlings model, as was generally the case until 1957, when Wilson introduced the A2000 with its hinged heel. Willie never thought this was his greatest catch (what about that throw!), but it certainly was seen by more people, via national television broadcast, than any of the others. (If you’re wondering, I don’t believe Al Gionfriddo’s catch in the 1947 World Series can be mentioned in the same breath.)But in 1954, when Mays made The Catch, he created an eternal symbol of extraordinary athleticism and, recognizable only in retrospect, genius. Mays was an utterly complete talent; his speed made him both an outfield legend and a base-running threat; his arm was outstanding — some say the best ever; and as a batter he had much more power than his smallish frame would indicate. But for all his great batting statistics, no one can describe to the fans of a future generation the thrill of seeing Willie Mays. Fortunately, graybeards like me may simply point them to The Catch, which saved Game One of the World Series and set the table for an improbable sweep of Cleveland, who had gone 111–43.

Speaking of The Catch, the ensuing moment is one of my all-time favorites:

Giants manager Leo Durocher had brought in lefty Don Liddle to relieve starter Sal Maglie and face the Indians’ lefty slugger Vic Wertz. After Liddle surrendered the blast that ended up as The Catch, he handed the ball to righty reliever Marv Grissom, saying, “Well, I got my man!”

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 

8 YEARS AGO TODAY: A Play-By-Play of Derek Jeter’s Last At-Bat at Yankee Stadium

Things I Like

Every day, I’ll add one thing to this list:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, toast with butter, Apollo 8, Garfield, the "slightly pull the car up while someone's trying to get in" gag, dogs with their heads sticking out car windows, wood paneling, pork egg foo young, rain, Roadrunner (Modern Lovers), the green type in Hulu’s search bar, Marah, Without Feathers, hour 3 of a wedding reception, French women, Rob Brydon, Indiana high school basketball, whenever anyone else cancels an appointment, The Star-Spangled Girl (the play not the movie), Cheaper by the Dozen (the book not the movie grrrrr), 1995, Camille Claudel, the perfect pen, hotels, witnessing the slow-moving car crash of when some guy replies to "I'm ______ and I'll be your waitress" with "I'm ______ and I'll be your customer!", The Red Green Show, dinner parties at 100 Metro, Robert Kennedy, the first warm sock out of the dryer, the #7, honest waiters, Russell Edson, Rankin/Bass animation, Soup (the books not the “food”), Queen Elizabeth II (sorry, I),"Bobby Jean", my orange bear hat, Ball Four, The Steven Banks Show, French Vanilla anything, Porridge (the sitcom not the disgusting "food"), a paperback with the perfect floppiness to it, oranges, Downton Abbey, shag carpet, the first 3 Ed Burns movies, peas, knowing it's about to rain, Paul McCartney, Peter Tinniswood, Cheerios, the Starbucks mobile ordering app, any toaster with more than two slots, bears, watching car tail lights crossing a bridge at night, refrigerator ice machines that work, nodding & saying "fellas" whenever I walk by two dogs together, rye bread, That Thing You Do!, Martin Short, Square Books in Oxford Mississippi, Hayday, my feet in the grass, Jeff Lamp, the thrill of an upcoming rest stop with several great fast food options, women, 7/06/1957, vintage 1970s Pizza Hut, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (obviously the UK one and not the awful US version), kids who actually try to be funny, The Replacements, great straws, "What's Happening!!", Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant", Christmas lights, Carol Burnett, The Turkey's Nest, thunder, "Only Fools and Horses", the fries at the bottom of the bag, the first "Mad Men" office, the Williamsburg Softball League 2003-2012, Coach Bobby Finstock, "Animal Farm" by The Kinks, London Fog, cloth couches, DT & the Shakes, Norman Lear, taking the train, a sportcoat you don’t want to take off, frozen waffles, Bill Russell, Stove Top stuffing, the mingling of generations at weddings, carpeting, BritBox, front porches, Stephen Merchant, sheepdog drone work videos, Ralph Malph, canceled meetings, the word “shenanigans”, the first time I ever pulled off saying “bodega” after moving to Brooklyn, my friend Riley, Joy Garden, David Spade doing his impression of Dennis Miller calling him "Spudly", Bob Uecker, when a sitcom pairs off two unlikely characters, "Uncle", the first Autumn issue of "The New Yorker", Johnny Hart, Doritos & peanut butter, Joe Strummer, people who don’t always pretend they have better things to do, Teen Wolf, Dancing On My Own (the song not the activity), mushy peas, St. Paul (the sandwich not the city)(sorry city I've just never been), Car Wheels on a Gravel Road, R.E.M., old men only too happy to give their thoughts on the bowl of ice cream they’re eating, Bulleit bottles, Wally my cat friend, asking "what if it's a puppy?" whenever anyone gets a box in the mail, saying the word "mouse", saying “mousey mousey”, the 1995 PBS doc on rock & roll, sausage wheels, Monopoly, provolone, very old monarchies that are without actual power but still are charming enough to let you believe just a little bit in magic, oranges, Steve Jones, chicken planks from Long John Silver's, ivy, green, Love in Vain, Wayne Federman, Magic Shell, the off-off Broadway classic La Cocina, a classic barn jacket, The Great Brain, funny raccoon pictures, raw onion, every time Principal Ava on “Abbot Elementary” walks into a scene, Mr. Submarine, whatever it is I think 1970s architecture looks like, The Clissold Arms,

Kudos!

To Ken Burns for making it through his amazing The US and The Holocaust w/o stealing my Matt Saracen joke. #theusandtheholocaust #fridaynightlights

Tommy Payphone

Because the Internet is ridiculous and incredible at the same time, we get to see Tommy Stinson recreate the scene of when he famously quit The Replacements for a few days because sure why not? (I believe it was after a Boston show, for which the bass player for the Del Fuegos jumped in if I remember reading correctly, probably in the incredibly exhaustive/definitive Trouble Boys).

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8 Years Ago Today

Me before Derek Jeter's last at-bat at Yankee Stadium:

Jeter will get an at-bat in the 9th. Great. The only time in life I've gotten exactly what I wanted, and it's the Yankees giving up a 3-run lead.

Looks like I wasn't the only one 🤣

The clip of Jeter’s final Yankee Stadium hit always makes me think of this photo. It was taken in the press box (I believe by @BrendanKutyNJ) after David Robertson blew the save and an entire group of writers deleted nearly everything they had written. pic.twitter.com/ZcNPERYyDZ

— Mark Feinsand (@Feinsand) September 25, 2022

State du Moi

I say I love the Fall but sometimes I wonder if I just really like having an excuse to slather my hands with a gallon of lotion everyday.