Saturday, February 07, 2026
Look People...
What a Total Fuckwad
JD Vance's 100-car motorcade over at the Winter Olympics is causing a stir:
The VP’s enormous motorcade features dozens of Chevy Suburbans that barely fit on the tiny streets of Milan. Video of the motorcade, taken on Friday by the Italian news outlet Local News, shows one of Vance’s cars nearly colliding with a vehicle bearing an Italian license plate.Congrats JD Vance, you just became the first American to go to Italy & think "you know what, the only thing that could make this even better is if I brought my own food."
Vance and the U.S. delegation reportedly flew into Milan on multiple planes carrying staff, security, food, and vehicles.
What a total fuckwad.
NEW XMASTIME SERIES: Petty Album Liner Notes!
People if you don't think I can fall in love with such a low level of pettiness then you do not know me at all, people.
THE KNICKERBOCKERS
NUGGETS: Original Artyfacts from the First Psychedelic Era 1965-1968
Their lead singer, Jimmy Walker, would eventually join the Righteous Brothers when Bill Medley quit, though it’s not mentioned what he did when Bobby Hatfield would also leave a few months later.
LEVEL OF LINER NOTE PETTINESS: 9.5 I mean how much did Lenny Kaye for some reason have to hate the Knickerbockers to put that out there? 🤣🤣🤣
MY ACTUAL ALBUM SCORE: n/a (doesn't count as much since this is on compilation & not on an actual album the Knickerbockers worked on)
PREVIOUS LINER NOTES PETTINESS HERE
NEW XMASTIME SERIES!!!!
DR. OBVIOUS von XMASTIME VI DOES THE NEW YORKER CAPTION CONTEST
I was gonna call out the bullshit of my beloved cheddar Goldfish stretching out into a million different flavors (like every other snack brand nowadays grrrrrrrr) by dropping a snappy little "these don't taste like mice at all" but I couldn't triumph over my own nagging "well, the originals don;t taste like goldfish" thoughts so that blew up in my face. Sometimes I worry that I'm the only person who's noticed that the visual cousin to my beloved egg foo young in dessert form is....the apple fritter? Has nobody else noticed this? And what are we all gonna do about it? Catherine Tate is Kristen Wiig except she's actually funny. I was noticing how weird it was that Frank Gore ended his NFL career with exactly 16,000 yards rushing and then I realized he also ended his career with exactly 100 touchdown and so now I am officially donezo for the day. 😲🤯🤯🤯 And ffs bow that I'm seeing this I can't believe he didn't knock out another 15 yards from scrimmage so he'd finish with an even 20,000. TURNS OUT...maybe he's still rocking?????????? 🎸🤗❤️🕺 If this really IS him then I'm thrilled, but also if it is then fuck you jashutnyc he always sounded incredible whenever I saw him!!! Here's the first 10 players to ever hit 100 three-pointers; not only do I not know 6 of them but I've literally never even heard their names. I call this one, "Shitty Comments I Make in My Head That I Don't Actually Post Because I Don't Wanna Put Such a Thing Out into the World". Enjoy, everybody! Why has there never been a documentary made about Miskel Spillman? - XMASTIME 2022 CNN tells a little bit about the story of Spillman, the 80-year-old grandmother who once hosted Saturday Night Live after winning a contest: Fascinating du Jour: the episode Skillman hosted also happened to include one of the show's most famous musical moments, when Elvis Costello stopped his band from playing whatever zzzzzzzzz song they were gonna play and they played the "eff you radio!" song Radio Radio instead, which I guess got him banned from the show for 10 years (little-known- fun fact: Costello was only there in the first place because the Sex Pistols had canceled at the last minute.) Let's celebrate the living by giving SHOULD-BE 😡 sitcom living legend Eric Monte some love: this guy created What's Happening!! AND Good Times AND wrote Cooley High which was not only the direct inspiration for What's Happening!!, but The White Shadow as well. OH AND DID I MENTION he also created the characters who would go on to become The Jeffersons?!?!?!? I've blathered on & on for years about how great the Minneapolis PBS station is, here's a clip from the Husker Du/The Replacements section ENJOY!!!!! IT NEVER RAINS
"But fish can't read."
Well This Blew Up in My Face du Jour
Worries. I Have Them.
Anyway, that worries me.
Hot Take That Shouldn't Actually Be a Hot Take
(My recent hot take on how they bungled her time on The Office HERE)
Who'd Have Guessed We'd Be Talking About Frank Gore Today?
Friday, February 06, 2026
Questions. I Have Them.
Current Events
Fab 4 Friday du Fab Four Jour
Thursday, February 05, 2026
Me. I'm Really Happening, Aren't I?
Wednesday, February 04, 2026
Questions. I Have Them.
Tuesday, February 03, 2026
NBA du Jour!
I'll Say This.
New (not really) Xmastime Series!
Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime
Monday, February 02, 2026
Sunday, February 01, 2026
Movie Ideas. I Have Them.
On December 24, 1944, during the height of the Battle of the Bulge, Elisabeth and her 12-year-old son, Fritz Vincken, were seeking safety in a small hunting cabin in the Hürtgen Forest near the German-Belgian border.
It seems to me this could be an incredibly easy & cheap comedy to make - just the one set, a handful of actors, no CGI/stunts etc, just a coupla dudes from opposite sides of the greatest conflict in human history sitting around a dinner table while a complete stranger fusses over them??!?
The Encounter: Three lost and hungry American soldiers, one with a serious gunshot wound, knocked on their door. Despite the danger of harboring enemies—a crime then punishable by death—Elisabeth invited them in.
The Truce: Soon after, four German soldiers arrived looking for shelter. Elisabeth met them at the door and firmly declared that there would be "no shooting" on the Holy Night. She forced both groups to leave their weapons outside before entering.
The Meal: The enemies shared a meager meal of chicken soup and potatoes. A German soldier with medical training even tended to the wounded American.
The Departure: On Christmas morning, the German soldiers gave the Americans a compass and directions to return to their lines before both groups parted ways peacefully.
LOOKING FOR INVESTORS, PEOPLE!! 💰💰💰💰
The Problem with MAGA
The secret fear of the morally depraved is that virtue is actually common, and that they’re the ones who are alone.
or that turn out to be everything they dream/claim of being but aren't:In Minnesota, all of the ideological cornerstones of MAGA have been proved false at once. Minnesotans, not the armed thugs of ICE and the Border Patrol, are brave. Minnesotans have shown that their community is socially cohesive — because of its diversity and not in spite of it. Minnesotans have found and loved one another in a world atomized by social media, where empty men have tried to fill their lonely soul with lies about their own inherent superiority. Minnesotans have preserved everything worthwhile about “Western civilization,” while armed brutes try to tear it down by force.
Miskel Spillman
On November 19, 1977, the five finalists of the show’s first — and, ultimately, only — Anyone Can Host contest took the stage in Studio 8H alongside the evening’s host, actor and screenwriter Buck Henry, and introduced themselves to America. They were vying for a chance to guest host the Christmas episode two weeks later.
I guess this means that FINALLY someone is trying to catch up with the ol' schooner Xmastime, congrats to them I guess?
Spillman’s contest entry was a punchy pitch that abided by the 25-word count limit in the rules: “I’m 80 years old. I need one more cheap thrill since my doctor told me I only have another 25 years left.”
Spillman, one of only two hosts in the show’s history who was born in the 1800s, presided over the eighth episode of “SNL’s” third season. Her episode took place amid a true golden moment as far as casts go — John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Gilda Radner, Bill Murray, Jane Curtin, Laraine Newman and Garrett Morris.
Reminder of Greateness
I first asked back in 2009 and must ask again - how is Eric Monte not treated like royalty??!?!!?!
❤️ MPLS ❤️ PBS
OFAH du Jour
Series 2 Episode 6
Rodney: You were gun-running in the middle of a civil war?
Grandad: Well, that's the best time to do it!
Rodney: Why you dirty little mercenary.
Grandad: Oh we didn't do it purely for financial gain. Oh no, we both felt a deep commitment to a political cause.
Del Boy: Which side were you selling to?
Grandad: Well whichever side had the most money, really.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
