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Friday, January 31, 2025

Welcome to My Friday Night!

Long live forever The Sonics!. 🤗🎸❤️

Moi Say Moi back in August:

I LOVE LOVE LOVE The Sonics; they're like the Sex Pistols if the Pistols had stayed away and STFU and been a little more mysterious. Their record is still perfect almost 60 years later, they influenced every shitty to great band in the world who were lucky enough to get their beefy paws on the record (me), DT & the Shakes dropped a Sonics reference in the final song of their brilliant debut ep, (AND Rrthur (YES ladies, THAT Rthur) would name-drop them again in his subsequent band Idle in this absolute 1995 banger!!!) they always somehow just seemed super-mysterious to the point of maybe not existing, 

Ummmmmm....

...by "places like this" could you possibly mean "places that are creepy af"? 😬

Questions. I Have Them.

Did Larry David rip off a 2011 episode of The Office for his own dirty billboard gag in 2024? 🤔🤷‍♂️

 

Speaking of Sly Stone...

...while we eagerly await the February 13 documentary (FINALLY!), please feel free to hit me up for my beautifully handwritten notes I made when listening to Sly's first five albums for a little music club I have at work. Also open to $$$$elling to the highest bidder if I can be guaranteed an opening bid of one million dollars.

ENJOY! And go listen to the first five albums; four of them are fucking incredible!

Thank You

To whoever the genius was somewhere out there on the Internet who came up with this idea.

Sincerely,
People Without a Lot of Countertop Space

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE:
I'm trying to get in the habit of uploading video straight from my phone instead of using YouTube; I'm a bit skeptical since over the years it's never really worked more than like 10% of the time but for some reason it's worked a few times recently so I'll keep trying it.

Eight Years. Still Waiting. 😡


Happy 10th OFAHversary!!! 🤗🤣❤️🇬🇧

I can't believe it was 10 years ago this month I discovered Only Fools and Horses, as per this 2016 post:
2015, A YEAR IN REVIEW:

January: Discovered Only Fools and Horses
February: Watched Only Fools and Horses
March: Watched Only Fools and Horses
April: Watched Only Fools and Horses
May: Watched Only Fools and Horses
June: Watched Only Fools and Horses
July: Watched Only Fools and Horses
August: Watched Only Fools and Horses
September: Watched Only Fools and Horses
October: Watched Only Fools and Horses, went to Paris
November: Watched Only Fools and Horses
December: Watched Only Fools and Horses, went to London

I can't imagine my life without out it, it's crazy to think there was anything before it.
LOVELY JUBBLEY EVERYBODY!

1998 New York Yankees

The 1998 Yankees were my first Yankees love and it's crazy how I instantly recognize almost every one of these stances/swings almost 27 years later; meanwhile last year's team went to the World Series & if someone did this for that team I'd be surprised if I could even pick out Aaron Judge. 🤔🤷‍♂️

🤗❤️⚾️🗽

OMG Want du Jour

Abide with Me
Clare Allan, 2001

Sitcom Ideas. I Have Them.

Xmastime, The World's Worst High School Guidance Counselor:
“I’m thinking about taking Algebra 2 this semester.”
“There’s a second one?!!”
LOOKING FOR INVESTORS 💰💰💰💰

Thursday, January 30, 2025

Sad but True. Oh Yeah, and Terrifying Too. Great.

Watching this cabal of wannabe supervillains sluicing in & out of these Senate hearings only serve to remind me to remind you people for the 15,000th time that I believe part of why Trump is president is because people think they're watching a goddam movie.

Random Brilliant Line from an Old Xmastime Post Hereby Presented w/o Context

"At the end of the day, Tom Joad is Paul Westerberg in 1984, and Holden Caulfield is your average Williamsburg hipster in a nouveau-rock art fusion no-bass-included Japanese haiku band."

FEB 13!!!!!!!!!! 🤗🎸🕺🥁❤️

WELL Well Well...

...the folks over at The Hollywood Reporter are asking How Many Humans Do You Need to Make An AI Movie Script Copyrightable? & while that seems to be a fun game assholes these days are playing I'd suggest it doesn't matter since at some point the very people who pushed this sort of thing are gonna realize they're the ones who hafta actually read all these scripts and so I'm pretty sure that's where it'll all come to a screeching halt & oh gee whaddya know they'll actually need human writers again THE END.

A Few Random Thoughts

It was better than I thought it would be for the most part, I was pleasantly surprised by a buncha brief clips of performances I'd never really known or thought about before & that I'll be poking around for soon.

OH ffs I've called out the bullshit that is "Patti Smith is a punk poetess, a brilliant lyricist!" before but even I was shocked to see that when her star turn as the new music world order known as punk rock from only blocks away in downtown NYC came she played...a glorified cover of Van Morrison's Gloria? AND The Who's classic My Generation? Dafuck?

The Sinead O'Conner thing was handled surprisingly well, it was really well done & shot cinematically & you came away feeling like you had a better sense of what happened.

Whether you actually do or not.

But fuck Lorne Michaels for being full of shit now like he didn’t flip out at the time oh please. 🙄

THERE WAS WAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much comedy!! 😡 I mean thank you for Dick in a Box but we only need you to allude to it; do I fucking meed 20 minutes on it and the Beyonce All the Single Ladies sketch? YOU'RE A COMEDY SHOW!! ANY OF THE 60 KAZILLION DOCUMENTARIES ABOUT YOU ARE ALLLLLLLLLL ABOUT THE COMEDY BUT THIS SPECIFIC ONE IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT THE MUSIC ACTS!!! No matter what, anytime the show really got rolling they'd feel compelled to drag you back into more comedy bits, and it was really fucking annoying.

Why do they only seem to have the same three cast members dong all the commenting? Maya Rudolph, Bill Hader and like someone else...that's it?

They WAY overestimated how much I'd give a shit about all the instances of "OH MY GOD WE WERE SO SCARED THE SURPRISE GUEST WOULDN'T SHOW UP ON TIME!!" they kept going back to; hey guess what idiot I already know they made it on and if they didn't I can't say I'd really give a shit.

Paul Simon always seems to be a stuffy insufferable bore but that mofo did dress up like a goddam turkey so 🫡 


I've never been a real Elvis Costello guy (altho if you recall I love love love his cover of Femme Fatale!) but for years I wore out some history of punk rock tape that had a scratchy recording his famous Radio Radio moment so years later when he showed up for a surprise performance of it with the Beastie Boys I remember being thrilled that I understood the reference, which jusssst pre-Internet wasn't always easy.

QUESTION: why was everybody ever so upset about the Ashlee Simpson lip-syncing thing? Dafuck was everybody expecting? Who cares, was this Pavoratti? Or the more untalented one of the Simpson sisters who were most famous for the talented one mistaking tuna fish for chicken?

Why so much 9/11? Again, there's plenty of time for that in overall docs about the show but this was supposed to be about the music!!!!!

Anyways. I guess that's it for now.

And of course they never mentioned the single greatest performances of all time (and of which I'll always call bullshit on the "controversial swearing" bullshit nonsensical bullshit.)

RIP Marianne Faithful


This Just About Sums It All Up.




"Body by Cheez-It" - Clark Green


CURRENT EVENTS: Xmastime Reax

So I see:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Moi Say Moi:

I Mean FFS Guys

You look at someone like Ringo & his incredible life and you assume it's just all puppy dogs & rainbows & then in a flash you go from that to wondering if you'd trade places with him even for a day. 😲😲😲😲

Gee It's So Funny...

...when it comes to guns Republicans seem to have boundless trust in people’s sense of responsibility and yet none about them being capable of working from home; are there no good guys with secure Wi-Fi at home? 🤷‍♂️🤔

I'm Going to Hell

The other day I overheard someone mentioning they were helping their 90 year-old parents buy a news deep freezer & I couldn't help but think well that's fucking optimistic innit it?

* this post dedicated to this great story from Steve Martin:

from Steve Martin's Born Standing Up:

"Another day, curious about an old family rumor, I asked her (Martin's mother - ed.) if she ever had a miscarriage. "No, I never did." Then my ninety-year old mother added, "Knock on wood."

I'll Say This.

People who know me are generally so surprised to learn I haven't had to use a laundromat since I was in college that it just may end up in my goddam obituary.

So We Beat On, Boats Against the Current, Borne Back Ceaselessly Into the Past

...I keep running into this motherfucker just about every goddam night; there's nothing worse than when someone's walking about 20 yards ahead of you and yet walks so goddam slowly that if you walk at your normal pace you'll end up syncing up next to each other for just awkward a long enough time to make you wanna scream into the night sky but if you try to walk quickly enough to overtake them you'll look like a goddam lunatic just about to shit his pants, so...🤷‍♂️😡😡😡😡

Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime

It's not "Lego brick-built" if all you did was produce plastic that's already in the shape of the thing you purport to build. 😡😡😡😡

Oh PUH-leeze, Wendy's...

...first THIS BULLSHIT yesterday and now you're listing calories as "energy"? That supposed to make us feel better; is this your "KFC Moment"? 😡

Wednesday, January 29, 2025

Good Light Pollution*, for Once

* PREVIOUS XMASTIME THOUGHT ON LIGHT POLLUTION HERE

I've never really known much about or cared much about photography unless it can capture something funny but tonight when I got off the Metro I was struck by this (are these lights new, or have I been walking by them for years w/o noticing their purple hue?) & felt compelled to take a snappity-snap or two. And when I say that I mean literally two.


XMASTIME SERIES: It's Art Because I Say It Is


Want du Jour

Walking through the Moonlight

Nils Hans Christiansen
(1850-1922)

Sitcom Ideas. I Have Them.

Xmastime, The World's Worst High School Guidance Counselor:

"Hey look, school's not for everybody."
"But I really wanna go to college."
"I was talking about high school."
LOOKING FOR INVESTORS 💰💰💰💰

#BackwhenIwasfunny


Bathroom Soap Dispenser Taunting Guy to Just Go Ahead & Try to Get Two Consecutive Squirts into Your Palm, Chief


TFW Right After You Quit Twitter Cheryl Hines is On TV Standing By Her Husband as He Tries to Explain His Behavior Away 😭😭😭😭

"A Few Years Ago"?

I mean ffs even Wendy's isn't pretending to give a shit anymore.

A Day in the Life

1. 7:30am: in my bathroom to take a shower
2. Turn on hot shower, realize I had to take a dump
3. Turns out I didn’t really have to, but when I flushed somehow the toilet got clogged
4. Unclogged toilet (all by myself ladies, hit me up on the socials!)
5. Brushed my teeth in a bathroom now overwhelmed with hot steam
6. Take shower
7. Get dressed for work, leaving now
8. Realize I really DO hafta take a dump
9. Go to take a dump in what is effectively still a sauna
10. Six hours later at work I still feel damp/soggy/gross 😡
11. On the Metro some shithead insisted on sitting next to me on an open train “because I’m so tall, I need to stretch my legs out I mean canon!” and then turned out to be shorter than me 😡
12. Really had to blow up the bowl at work but had to time things so the coast would be clear when I went into the stall
13. Immediately grossed myself out touching a piece of toilet paper on the lid
14. Sprang back out of stall to furiously wash my hands as the Brown Hornet pounds at my insides
15. Of course now some dude walks into the bathroom so I have to abandon all hope and try to make it 10 stories down to the building lobby 😡😡😡😡

Still not quite as bad as The Barber's BLACK THURSDAY back in the day of course, when after a comically absurd morning culminating in him shitting at an abandoned building site he finally shows up at my office where my boss had hired him to clear out a clogged pipe from her septic tank and of course he’s late and the boss goes crazy on him, yelling for what seemed like an eternity and all The poor Barber could think of is "whenever this bitch finally gets done screaming at me I have to go down to the basement & suck up her fat fucking turds and bloody fucking tampons" and yes whenever he’d tell this story he’d always add in the what I can only assume were the accurate “THOOMP! THOOMP!” sounds of turds & tampons getting sucked up into the Wet-Vac.🤣

Goals. I Have Them.

I wanna begin a new job somewhere so I can start out being a grouchy asshole for a few months so that once people get to know me I'll suddenly turn into Mr. Cheery overnight just so they'll assume I must be getting laid.

Something You People Should Know About Me

300 days ago today I officially crossed the line such that the number of days since I rocked CBGBs is greater than the number of days before. 😭😭😭😭🎸🕺🥁

Ugh du Jour

The most depressing part about this isn't even just that it exists, it's that so many Americans are actively rooting for it.

Tuesday, January 28, 2025

Garfeld du Jour


MPLS

I've been planning on blowing off the Saturday Night Live 50th Anniversary show on the history of its music guests, but I'm glad this Minnesota station put together a short clip on some of the great Minneapolis bands that were on the show; obviously I'm particularly happy to see The Replacements and Soul Asylum get some love.🤗❤️🕺🎸

Hey Listen Buddy I Admit Nothing


Xmastime on Truth 😔

Look, of course I feel bad I'd make such a joke but let's also be honest with ourselves people funny's funny.

WELL, Well Well...


"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you try to warn people about this in your first non-bestseller, Williamsburg Rats: A Manny's Tour of Duty?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did: 

He was pushing me to sit down, so I flopped back into the easy chair and he scooted up into The Nook.  I opened the book and voila, first page: a humungous, smiling snake.  Every one of these books, there's a goddam snake with fangs the size of hammers that's supposed to be cute and friendly.  Hey look, a fluffy, happy puppy looking for a hug.  There’s a sweet baby duck splashing around with a beach ball.  Oh, and sliding down a tree?  A copperhead that looks like it just swallowed a fucking golf cart.  “Oh, but it’s so cute and cuddly!”

I didn’t want Chuck to be scared of snakes.  I didn’t want him to be scared of anything.  But I also didn’t want him thinking it was okay to go up and hug a snake.

CALLING DR. XMASTIME, Genius Script Doctor

The cut to the window was fucking brilliant SO WHY THEN GO INSIDE THE OFFICE??!?!? There's no way it could have been funnier, which was quickly proven true by Jim's lame "A for effort" line...THAT'S the line they made us go through all that for???!?!?!?

SHOULDN'T HAVE GONE INSIDE, DUMMIES!! 😡😡😡😡

I'll Say This.

From what I've witnessed the absolute #1 best thing about having three kids is there's always one who all the adults can agree to shit on at the same time. 🤣🕺

News du Jour

Oh great I’ll finally be able to learn how to make homemade guacamole with that extra hour, thanks guys.

Random Brilliant Line from an Old Xmastime Post Hereby Presented w/o Context

"3) There's white trash. There's poor white trash. How come there's no black trash? Only white people can be trashy? Does "The Flavor of Love" only come on my tv?"

Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastime

I've always said I don't like the idea of having a priest, doctor or president who's younger than me - for both nearing to death and joi de vivré reasons - and I've just now realized "Head Coach of the Dallas Cowboys" is also on that list. 😬

Goddammit. I Used to Be Somebody. 😔


Questions. I Have Them.

Has anyone written the "Donald Trump is America's Golem" yet because I'm sure as hell not gonna do it.

BREAKING: Oklahoma Makes Huge Bid to Leap from 46th to Last Place in State Education Rankings

I'll Say This, Says I

All throughout my days in Brooklyn I drank like a fish and nobody was putting me on guest lists so I'm not taking the blame for this one.

Deep Shit Here

I mean I don't wanna hafta think about it until I'm with whoever my dog is when I'm 130 years old but man this one hits.

Monday, January 27, 2025

I'll Say This.

If I had 1/10th of this orange peel's joie de vivre I think my life would be much, much livelier. 😜🕺🕺🍊

Trojan Greek Horses

Just a little over 3 weeks ago I was praising Yes, Minster all the way to the heavens for their entry in the Best Scene Using Latin for Comedy category and already it's been topped; this time Bernard drops the Latin AND the Greek knowledge. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 

State du Moi

I don't know what the hell is happening but I've been to three different people houses over the last three weeks counting my own and each & every time I tried using the tv - including my own - no matter the streaming service, it kept defaulting to closed captioning. Dafuck??!! EVERYwhere I go, every tv? 😡😡😡😡

I"ll Say This.

Unless this food truck is actually an FBI surveillance van hoping to hear me scream at my tv about Ray fucking Pruit for the next 8 hours (WHY WOULD HE TELL DONNA “IT’S SPELLED PRUIT BECAUSE ONE T IS ALL MY MOMMA COULD AFFORD", I MEAN I KNOW HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE FOLKSY & DOWN TO EARTH COMPARED TO HER BUT…DID HIS MOTHER JUST COME UP WITH HIS LAST NAME AND HOW TO SPELL IT? ISNT THAT WHAT PARENTS DO WITH FIRST NAMES, NOT LAST NAMES????) then I’m guessing it’s going to find itself very much out of luck for the day.

The Mad & Happy Scene

I went almost 30 years thinking Rrthur (YES ladies, THAT Rrthur) had come up with my band name THE HAPPY SCENE just because the songs & me sounded so happy to be there, but in finally listening to this chat between us that was recorded to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Take My Teenage Head I'm as surprised as you people to find out part of the name was inspired by an old Brooklyn band, The Mad Scene:

Rrthur: There was a band around New York at the time Called THE MAD SCENE, it was one of those things where every time you picked up the Voice or whatever they’d be playing Brownie’s or The Continental or somewhere.
Xmastime: wow, I don't think I knew that.

Baby-in-Chief

Of course it's perfectly natural that Trump was president and then want away for 4 years and then came back to being president; with him being such a fucking toddler of course it feels like as a nation we had to put him in fucking "time out".

What a fucking embarrassment.

List du Jour

A SUPER-QUICK RUN-THROUGH OF WHAT MY TOP 5 AMERICAN SITCOMS FROM EACH DECADE 1960-2000s COULD POSSIBLY BE (Except for the 60s, i couldn't find a 5th)

60:
GREEN ACRES
THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW
THE FLINTSTONES
GET SMART

70s:
ALL IN THE FAMILY
THE BOB NEWHART SHOW
THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW
WHAT’S HAPPENING??
MASH

80s:

THE COSBY SHOW
FAMILY TIES
CHEERS
A DIFFERENT WORLD
THE WONDER YEARS

90s:
SEINFELD
ROSEANNE
WINGS
FRASIER
THE LARRY SANDERS SHOW

00s:
THE OFFICE
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT
IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM
VEEP

Williamsburg Bridge Magic

I mean I don't wanna brag in front of you rubes and all but I just saw this 30 Rock bit for the first time and of course it brings me great pleasure to remind anyone who will listen - and a few who won't - that for a few years I lived in the same building as Peter Dinglage and it was only a few blacks from the Williamsburg Bridge, which of course makes me wonder if that's why they even wrote that in the scene for him and let me just tell you something right here and right now: if my connections to Hollywood make you jealous well then you can just go stuff your jealousies in a sack, buster.

CALLING DR. XMASTIME, Genius Script Doctor

Why would they make Darryl spell out "don't forget the new black man phrase I told you" to Michael in order to make sure we didn't miss the coming joke when watching Michael say it while it dawns on the audience that that of course Darryl would've "taught" him the phrase just to fuck with him would've been SO MUCH FUNNIER??!??!?!?! 😡😡😡😡 And in the rest of the scene Darryl explains it all AGAIN anyway so why not at least give us that first treat?!?!?!?!?!

Sunday, January 26, 2025

Something You Should Know About Me

People who know me would be pretty shocked to learn I'm much better well-versed on Seasons 4-8 of Beverly Hills, 90210 than I am on Seasons 1-3, the high school years that most fans consider to be the Golden Age of the show.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you point out all the way back in 2008 that there were in fact not one but THREE Golden Ages of the show?"

Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did:
 
I assume most true 90210philes claim their high school years to be the show's golden aged peak - maybe due more to nostalgia than actual watching - but here we are, sophomore year of college, and we seem to have entered A SECOND Golden Age: Steve's running rampant at the KEG House, Brandon is Presnit and Valerie just showed up. And, AMAZINGLY, in the single episode I'm watching right now, the Peach Pit After Dark AND the evil Ray Pruit have been introduced. Unbelievable. Are there other shows with more than one true "Golden Age"? Usually a show's wheelhouse is fairly easy to define - are there any shows as wildly popular as this one where an argument may be made for several different eras?

NOTE: and don't worry, this is all relative and of COURSE I would destroy any of you people in a Season 1-3 trivia quiz.

"Dafuck is on top of this bitch's head?"

STATUS UPDATE

As of 11:37pm 1/26/25:
 None.

Did George Harrison Invent Led Zeppelin with WHILE MY GUITAR GENTLY WEEPS?

I've never thought of it re: the released version on The White Album, but in listening to this early version from The Anthology for the first time in 30 years it seems like a legitimate question upon noting:

1) Jimmy Page was a well-known studio session player for years & surely knew about any hot new shit going on in London at any given moment
2) This very first take of While My Guitar Gently Weeps was recorded on July 25, 1968
3) The members of Led Zeppelin got together for the very first time less than a month later in August 1968

🤔🤷‍♂️🤯

We Were Young

17 Years Ago Today

I was being sued by Coca-Cola and gave myself the challenge of my lifetime, thanks to Fashion Herald. 😲😲

🤣🤣

On My 2nd Novel, THE WEDDING PARTIES

I mean can you people please hurry up and buy your own copy here motherscratchers!!!

Xmastime 15 Years Ago Today

(And you don't even need to ask, the answer is YES of course I'm horrified/depressed that my "Xmastime 15 years Ago Today" stuff is set in the year 2010 - hell, in less than 10 months I'll be able to start "Xmastime 20 Years Ago Today" 😭😭😭😭)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Tater Tot Ideas

Shouldn't there be some sort of Lego-type construction art using tater-tots as the building blocks? How great would that be - "Hey look, I built the Taj Mahal."  CHOMP.

also: lasagna, but tater tots instead of the pasta noodles. yes? no? maybe?  tots/hormel chili/cheese, repeat layers? yes? no? maybe? do you love me yes? no? maybe?

Speaking of The Barber: 100 Metro Memories

The funny thing about this is is that if I found the right dipshit I could sell this as an insight to "authentic, industrial Williamsburg" for more money than me or Larry or the Barber or anybody ever made while living there combined. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Something You People Should Know ABout Me

I promise you more than 6 months have never gone by without my for no reason at all flashing back to the moment in 2002 when The Barber while referencing an acquaintance who'd recently failed a drug test for work snarkily called him "Captain Trips", and you're goddam right it has me on the floor dying laughing every single time. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

The Future is Unfortunately Here

For years now Trump has held a unique place in the hearts of Republicans in that while they’ve always been fine circling the wagons for their own, Trump was the only one who could pull this off:

1. Do/say something incredibly offensive that would normally destroy anyone else's career
2. Republicans generate MASSIVE outrage at the idea that Trump did anything wrong, defiantly defending him at the top of their outraged lungs
3. Trump doesn’t apologize or even try to explain himself away
4. Not only that, but he’d have no problem doubling down/making things worse
5. If the spirit moved him he’d insult some of the Republicans breathlessly defending him
6. Republicans would continue to defend him even as he’d hurl insults at them/refuse to apologize

Rinse/lather/repeat.

Again, Trump’s not the only one of their own Republicans would defend but he was always the only one who could openly mock them for defending him and making it clear to anyone listening that he didn’t give a shit.

Until our new BFF in chief, Elon Musk.

This week’s whole “wait, did he really throw out a Hitler salute? Twice?” thing was met with regular GOP outrage at the idea he could be accused of such a thing, but it’s the first time they’ve done it while the person they’re defending is openly shitting on them without being named “Donald Trump”. Instead of simply saying “hey you know what I was caught up in the moment, of course I wasn’t saluting Hitler” (forget about dreaming for a real apology of course), he’s been doing with “funny” Twitter/jokes about the incident:
As the backlash against Elon Musk continues after the Tesla CEO made a straight-arm, Nazi-like gesture during his speech Monday at U.S. President Donald Trump’s inauguration, the billionaire posted a series of Nazi-related puns on X Thursday to his more than 210 million followers.

Musk made reference to Adolf Hitler’s propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels and leading members of the Nazi Party, Rudolf Hess, Hermann Göring and Heinrich Himmler.

“Don’t say Hess to Nazi accusations! Some people will Goebbels anything down!” Musk wrote on X, the social media platform he owns. “Stop Gőring your enemies! His pronouns would’ve been He/Himmler! Bet you did nazi that coming,” Musk added.
....while leaving all the Republicans idiots holding the bag to keep defending him, which of course they’re doing, which is remarkable in that it's the first non-Trump person I’ve seen getting away with this. 

Which brings us to a corresponding point. America was born partly because we hated being ruled by a king and since then we've spent 250 years demanding the #1 thing that makes America America is our boundless thirst for capitalism at the expense of almost everything else. And since Trump came around, a lot of people have decided you know what they DO want a king. Trump has come close, but not quite. 

Meanwhile, Elon Musk is the richest man on Earth, which makes him the crown jewel in the eyes of the America we’ve built. So now you tell me that you’d bet a nickel against in 2026, the 250th birthday of America, we crown our first king to rule over each & every one of us to reward ourselves with the dizzying buzz of being attached to the sickest outcome of our billionaire fetish in Elon Musk. We'll sing the praises of our king, consider ourselves lucky to he chosen by God to be ruled by the richest man in our known Universe, and then stand around wondering where all of our money went. Great.
 
UPDATE JUST A FEW HOURS: if you've been wondering how spot-on my analysis with how Elon Musk can treat Republican like Trump is well then here you fucking go.

Saturday, January 25, 2025

Thursday, January 23, 2025

BIG BEAR & CHERRY BOMB!!

It apparently sat behind the front desk in my building for a month but this years Xmas card from Mamalizza finally got here!! 🤗🕺❤️

Goodbye Twitter After 16 Years Together (And Yes: It's Not Me, It's You)

I’m embarrassed it took me this long to ditch Muskolini but hey 🤷‍♂️. 🤩🤩🤩🤩🕺🕺🕺🕺

Things I Think, by Xmastime

The only reason someone like Trump would never blow up the planet is there’d be no one to sit around and talk about how amazing he did it.

Fuck This Asshole

Just yesterday I as reminding you people of what a piece of shit Jamie Dimon is, and look what just popped up in my Timehop app.

Fuck this asshole.

Random Brilliant Line from an Old Xmastime Post Hereby Presented w/o Context

"I noticed that not only is Pete by far the most sympathetic character to black people, he also is the only partner who drinks orange soda."

NOTES Art, by Xmastime

Title: WE ARE REALLY GOING THRU IT IN THE 2025, EVERYBODY

Xmastime, 2025

Ideas. I Have Them.

Why isn’t Command W a keyboard shortcut to reverse Command Z? Sometimes you're plowing back thru a coupla thingees Command ZCommand ZCommand ZCommand ZCommand Z and then you realize you went one thingee too far, but you can't go back because as far as I'm aware there's no keyboard shortcut to go BACK a step, which is where COMMAND W would come in superhandy - it even LOOKS like a V backing up which makes it the perfect antidote to Command V!

LET'S DO THIS, COMPUTER KEYBOARD SHORTCUT PEOPLE!!

Wednesday, January 22, 2025

Ideas. I Have Them.

Remember the Seinfeld episode when Elaine had the idea of only selling the tops of muffins, without the rest of it? Well how about the bottoms of donuts where all the chocolate congeals in an incredibly delightful way, without the rest of it?

LOOKING FOR INVESTORS, PEOPLE!!! 💰💰💰💰