Lists!

For prolly the 19,000th time someone's seen fit to list the top 50 sports movies of all time.

Okay.

Anyhoo, here's the ones from the list that I love. * = Top 5.

Major League
Rudy
Eight Men Out
The Color of Money
The Bad News Bears
Hoosiers*
Miracle*
A League of Their Own*
Bull Durham*
Rocky
Hoop Dreams*

It Was 50 Years Ago Today

The Beatles played their last ever public performance, on the rooftop of Apple Records. It was a ray of sunshine in an incredibly bleak period for them (as bleak as things could be if you were a Beatle, that is):

 In January of 1969, the Beatles had just slogged their way through a soul-destroying month of misery in which John Lennon was wracked with heroin addiction, a frustrated George Harrison briefly quit the band and Paul McCartney worked ceaselessly as the group’s self-anointed cheerleader — so much so that, by the end of the month, his relentless good-natured energy was beginning to backfire and was driving the Beatles perilously close to the edge of disbandment.

And how'd you like to be known as one of the cops who broke it up!??!

There's Snow Day Like a Snow Day

My mother having grown up in Lowell, Massachusetts and most kids living within walking distance meant it would take about 18 feet of snow for it to even occur to anybody to close school for the day. Meanwhile my brother and I grew up in the sticks, about 7 miles of winding country roads from school - anytime there was a mild flurry of snow the entire school system would shut down, which would drive our mother crazy. The best was one afternoon the principal saw a few flakes start up so he ordered us all to go home; but the time we were in the parking lot getting in our car the sun was back out. We of course pretended to not hear the shouts from the lobby to get back inside.

The Atlantic just posted an article about how different close closings are from state to state and their ramifications:

Many districts outline on their websites that a primary priority when considering a weather-based closure is the safety of students and faculty, but the ramifications of an unplanned day off extend past chilly toes and spilled cocoa. As Thomas Ahart, the superintendent of Des Moines Public Schools in Iowa, wrote in a note to district families, “I also consider the ripple effect a ‘snow day’ has on the entire community: not only for our 33,000 students and 5,000 employees but for tens of thousands of parents and family members, many of whom must go to work no matter the weather.” For many families, adverse weather conditions already make completing a day at work challenging; further deviations like school closures only add to the difficulties and stress of figuring out how to keep students safe and occupied. And on top of that, 94 percent of public schools offer breakfast to students, according to No Kid Hungry; when weather cancels classes, it also cancels a meal.

As you faithful fans recall, it was a snow day that led to the greatest basketball game ever played.

Rudy Macklin

My talking about the 1981 NCAA consolation game led me to an ESPN #0 for 30 short about the game, and Rudy Macklin in particular. While I'm surprised tv hasn't made them play the game since then purely because of $$$$, it's no surprise that no team wants to bother to play for 3rd place.

I'd also never heard the story of Rudy Macklin, who got caught off guard at a difficult time and paid for it with extreme vitriol. The idea that one of the player's game was shaken because of the assassination atemot is laughable.

Also - how fucking cool a name is "Rudy Macklin"?  :)

There's No Place Like 3rd Place

I didn't really know they still for some reason played a Pro Bowl in the NFL, but this guy has a suggestion:

But what if there was a football game played during this week that wasn’t between hastily thrown-together teams? What if there was a game this week that wasn’t an exhibition game? I have a proposal: The week before the Super Bowl, the two teams that lost their conference championship games should play against each other in an official NFL third-place game.

It's an interesting thought, though one that has no chance in hell of happening. The last thing NFL players want to do is play another "real" game in which they could get hurt that pretty much means nothing. 

But it does make us think about what I thought 7 years ago:

Some people see March 30, 1981 as the day President Reagan got shot. I see it as the final game Jeff Lamp, Lee Raker and Terry Gates ever played for UVa, beating LSU in the last NCAA Final Four consolation game ever played, somewhat perversely becoming the last team ever to win it's final tourney game without winning the tournament.

Looking on it now, kinda surprised they haven't brought this game back, as I'd be another game to squeeze $$$$$ from tv. You got people sitting around waiting for the Monday night game, why not play the consolation game on Sunday?

I really don't understand why this hasn't happened.

"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you meet your hero Jeff Lamp?"

Sigh. Yes I did faithful readers, yes I did. 

 

Questions. I Have Them

If the wall’s so effective then what are the prayers for?

A Day in the Life

1. Time for lunch!
2. It's raining.
3. Walk 2 blocks.
4 $14 for lunch.
5. Walk back in pouring rain.
6. Sit down at desk. Drenched.
7. Get email:
8. Free Chick Fil-A lobby.
9. Thus confirming that there is in fact a God, and he hates me.
10. Shake clenched fists at the sky.

Laziness.

I mean, was Obama even trying? Sad!

Solutions. I Have Them.

Trump should give up on his wall, get nothing in return, end the shutdown, then just go on tv and declare victory for himself. His supporters will bray wildly about him being an American hero who crushed the Dems, and he wouldn't lose a single vote from them.

Covington High School Thoughts. I Have Them.

If nothing else, then maybe what this Covington HS incident has taught us is to NOT load up buses full of 16 year-old boys to travel hundreds of miles to be set loose in public as political pawns in a fight over female reproductive rights? Yes, no, maybe? 

Can Someone Please Set Up a GoFundMe...

...to send me to London to see this?!?!??!?!!?

It won six Baftas, seven British Comedy Awards and was voted Britain’s Best Sitcom in a BBC poll. It also holds the UK record for the biggest audience of a single transmission of a TV programme — 24.35 million for the 1996 Christmas special. Only Fools and Horses is probably the nation’s most cherished comedy show. It even changed the English language, popularising the likes of “cushty”, “lovely jubbly” and “you plonker”.

But none of that stopped Paul Whitehouse agreeing to both write and star in Only Fools and Horses: The Musical, his first West End production, at the age of 60. The show features 20 songs, material from the TV series and a plot centred around Rodney and his middle-class fiancée Cassandra tying the knot, with much soul-searching from Del Boy as he realises that his younger brother is about to move up in the world and away from their Peckham high-rise.

Welcome Back Rocco

- Been re-watching the Rocco DiSpirito reality show “The Restaurant.” Can there be more of a clusterfuck than this fucking place? Who’s this wait staff, the cast of Ben-Hur? Christ. And I’m sorry, but they’re only meatballs…I’m sure they’re great, but how “amazing” can Mama’s meatballs be? Camon. - XMASTIME

Back when there was a food channel that actually taught people how to cook food, Rocco DiSpirito showed me how to make a great meat loaf. And I was mesmerized by what a shitshow that reality show of his opening a restaurant was, so much that rarely does a year go by without watching it again (oh shit now I probably will tonight.) Two years ago, I wondered if we were ever gonna get an oral history of what a fucking car crash the show was.

Mostly, like everybody else, whenever his name came up I'd wonder whatever the fuck had happened to him. And now, after so many years, he's back:

For more than a decade, the same question has followed the celebrity chef Rocco DiSpirito: What happened? Is he, as some have posited, “a supernaturally talented chef who squandered his gifts in the scattershot pursuit of fame?” Is he possibly still “the most talented American chef alive at this very moment?” Or is he simply “obsessed with becoming famous?”

Not only is he back - he's back in the kitchen:

But here he is, cooking in a professional kitchen for the first time in a decade and a half, and now there’s a new question that follows him: Will he be able to reclaim his former glory, or will the detractors who wrote him off during his 15-year hiatus turn out to be correct?

“I cook every night on the line, and pick up two or three menu items,” DiSpirito says. “A few things, like the risotto, I won’t let anyone touch,” he says, noting that “it feels great” to be on the line again. “I do hope to cook enough of the food I was known for, so that people who are looking for that find it,” DiSpirito says of his approach to the menu. “But the way I cook has fundamentally changed. It’s not me trying to recreate what I did at Union Pacific, except maybe in small doses.”

I could never get a grip on whether he was a camera-hogging diva or a well-meaning guy who was sometimes too much of a softie with his staff, which is my way of saying of COURSE I'm watching all 6 hours of The Restaurant tonight!!!!

Snark du Jour.

Looking forward to Trump's gleeful KFC spread whenever the inevitable Covington High School visit to the White House occurs.

Thoughts. I Have Them.

Trump being a Russian shill means we’re missing out on how great he would’ve been at making fun of Putin’s name. THAT woulda been fun to watch. And now we’ll never get to see it. Sad!

History Has Now Been Made, People.

Just finished this quiz in under 2 minutes!!!! #RogerBannister

BBC Top 20

One of the BBC Comedy Facebook groups I'm a part of asked people to list their Top 20 sitcoms, so here's mine. In no order after the #1 Only Fools and Horses.

Only Fools and Horses

Gavin and Stacey

Vicar of Dibley

Porridge

The Good Life

The Inbetweeners

The Royle Family

Peep Show

I'm Alan Partridge

Fawlty Towers

Open All Hours

Blackadder

Moone Boy

Black Books

Count Arthur Strong

Citizen Smith

Green Green Grass

Extras

IT Crowd

To the Manor Born

The final cut: Vicious.

Also, here's a list of my entrants. Some of the cuts were particularly heartbreaking.

Only Fools and Horses

Gavin and Stacey

Vicar of Dibley

Porridge

Rev.

Yes Minister

The Good Life

Whites

Spy

The Inbetweeners

The Royle Family

Father Ted

The Wrong Man(s)

Peep Show

I'm Alan Partridge

Miranda

Chickens

The Detectorists

Friday Night Dinner

Fawlty Towers

Open All Hours

Blackadder

Vicious

Moone Boy

Derry Girls

Black Books

Count Arthur Strong

Citizen Smith

Green Green Grass

Extras

IT Crowd

To the Manor Born

The Alan Partridge Show

Fresh Meat

Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads

The Worst Week of My Life

1969

2019 is a helluva year for 50-year anniversaries. Here's a list of 50 of them; below are my personal favorites.

First Manned Moon Landing
Apollo 11 began its historic voyage to the Moon on July 16, 1969. It reached its destination on July 20 and on July 21, Neil Armstrong became the first person to step onto the lunar surface, with Buzz Aldrin following him about 20 minutes later. The mission marked the beginning of the U.S. putting a dozen men on the moon.

Monty Python’ Flying Circus
On October 5, 1969, Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin, and Terry Gilliam changed the face of sketch comedy forever with the BBC debut of Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

The Internet
There’s been a long-running debate about when “The Internet” was born, with many tech-heads citing April 7, 1969 as the web’s official birthdate. That’s the day the first official Request for Comments, or RFC, was published—which included research, proposals, and ideas for the creation of true internet technology.

The Beatles Rooftop Concert
On January 30, 1969, right around lunchtime, The Beatles made their way to the rooftop of the Apple Corps building, their record label’s headquarters, for an unannounced performance. It was the first time in more than two years that the band had performed live, and they didn’t miss a beat. The Fab Four spent 42 minutes testing new material out on a crowd of onlookers. Eventually, a bank manager called the police to lodge a noise complaint—and the plug was pulled.

PBS
On November 3, 1969, PBS was founded as a successor to National Educational Television (NET) and quickly became the country’s preeminent broadcaster of educational, cultured television. Among its most popular series in those early days were Sesame Street, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, Nova, The French Chef with Julia Child, and Masterpiece Theatre (some of which are still going strong).

Funyuns
Looks like an onion ring, tastes like an onion-flavored chip. Funyuns have been offering the best of both worlds since 1969.

Cracker Barrel
On September 19, 1969, Dan W. Evins opened the first Cracker Barrel Old Country Store in Lebanon, Tennessee, where made-from-scratch fare was always on the menu. Today, the restaurant chain operates more than 650 locations across 45 states. 

Also this is the first time I’ve heard of this one:

Turn-on
Several months before Monty Python’s Flying Circus made its debut, another sketch comedy show—one that included Albert Brooks among its writers—made its premiere on February 5, 1969 and disappeared just as quickly. Though two episodes were filmed, only one aired. Leaving the series to be remembered as one of the biggest flops of all time. (Yes, it’s important to commemorate that, too.)

Monty Python AND Albert Brooks? Yes please!!!

The Tackle

The 1982 NFC Championship Game is rightfully remembered for "The Catch", which occurred 37 years ago today. But what we all forget is that Dallas came without a fingertip of immediately scoring to take the lead, thanks to an absolute perfect pass by Danny White into triple coverage. How much would the futures of both teams have been different throughout the 80's if not for this miracle tackle?

Via extensive internet research (ie Wikipedia):

This game was a watershed in the historic fortunes of both the 49ers and the Cowboys. The 49ers began the 1970s winning three consecutive NFC West titles (1970–1972), but spent the remainder of the decade as a losing team. San Francisco went on to win four Super Bowls in the 1980s, and made the playoffs eight out of the next ten seasons, making the 49ers a dynasty. 49ers quarterback Joe Montana went on to gain a reputation as a clutch performer.

Meanwhile, the Cowboys, one of the most successful NFC teams in the 1970s with five Super Bowl appearances (and two wins), never made it back to the Super Bowl in the 1980s. In the following season, the Cowboys reached their third straight NFC Championship Game, where they were defeated 31–17 by their archrival Washington Redskins. After their 31–17 loss to the Redskins, the Cowboys managed to make the playoffs in two of the next three seasons, only to be knocked out in the first round. They never made it to postseason for the rest of the decade. In fact, beginning in 1986, the Cowboys went on to suffer losing seasons for the remainder of the decade,

Great Joe Cool quote, tho:

According to Clark, Jones reacted to the play by stating "You just beat America's Team" to Montana after the pass was caught, to which Montana replied to Jones, "Well, you can sit at home with the rest of America and watch the Super Bowl."

Trump's Wall Speech

Don't know why the Democrats are gonna bother with a response to Trump's speech tonight, but this should be it.

30 Years Ago Tonight

The single-most famous scene in BBC history aired. Generally considered to be the funniest of all time (with the punchline maddeningly given away by whoever titled this YouTube clip grrrr), it's quintessential John Sullivan at his best. Personally, I put it #2 behind the chandelier scene, but a total winner nonetheless. :) Here's a clip of David Jason discussing the bar scene and how they pulled it off.


AND David Beckham nailed it too! :)

Oh, Carol!

Anytime Carol Burnett gets a shoutout, it's a great thing:

"For more than 50 years, comedy trailblazer Carol Burnett has been breaking barriers while making us laugh," HFPA president Meher Tatna said in the announcement of the award. "She was the first woman to host a variety sketch show, The Carol Burnett Show. She was also the first woman to win both the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor and Kennedy Center Honors. And now we add another first to her running list: the first recipient — and namesake — of the new Golden Globe top honor for achievement in television, the Carol Burnett Award. We are profoundly grateful for her contributions to the entertainment industry and honored to celebrate her legacy forever at the Golden Globes."

More importantly, of course, is her being in the official Xmastime Hall of Fame.

Bonnet de Douche!

The iconic tower block that was the exterior for Nelson Mandela House where the Trotters lived is being demolished:

Harlech Tower, which was used to portray the outside of the fictional Nelson Mandela House where Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter and his family lived, is to be torn down.

That's cold, motherfucker. Stone cold.

Xmastime Super TV Recommendation

Derry Girls

Available NOW on Netflix! A rare show in that every character is really funny. Also the best example of a show that spends the entire series making you laugh over and over & then punches you in the gut in the final minutes since Blackadder Goes Forth. Awesome. Can’t wait for the next series!

Tunguska 2019

Years ago I somehow stumbled upon the Tunguska event, which I'd never even heard of (I know - me!). I also later stumbled into an answer for it, which turned out to possibly be more correct than anyone other than myself woulda thought:

I get an F- for thinking that the trees would somehow "rebound" even if at the perfect epicenter of energy. What an idiot. But I'm giving myself a little bit of credit for thinking that the "ground zero" trees would survive because the energy would immediately spread like a drop of water on a table that hits so hard the middle remains dry while the wetness spread sideways.

Anyhoo, the geniuses over at the Stuff You Should KNow podcast talked about it this morning, and I've decided I arrived at an answer more directly than they do. Ta-DA!!!

Picky, Picky

I was a picky eater when I was a kid, which much to my regret has made me a picky eater as an adult. every once in a while I'll be brave - just three years ago an oyster made it all the way to my throat before being returned to a kitchen table, much to the delight of my uproarious friends - but those times are rare, and I stick to what I know. Part of this is not my fault - my parents never pushed me to "try new things", and we generally had the same bland meat/potato combo for most meals. If I didn't like something I wasn't forced to sit at the table until I tried it, my father would simply say "oh well, it's a long time 'til breakfast" and somebody else would swoop in and eat it. Unlike what I witness today, my parents made no effort to replace what they'd served me with something more to my liking, and my dad's saying about breakfast what buttressed by my mother's indifference later that night if hunger pangs hit me: "tough, the kitchen's closed." The only trick they'd ever use to get me to try something would be my mother insisting, "oh just eat it, you can't even taste the (ingredient)", to which I'd exclaim "then why is (ingredient) in there??!?!"

Today, kids are used to eating out for most of their meals and have more access to a more exotic menu. When I was a kid, any time the possibility of eating restaurant food arose it was met with delirious ecstasy; today, I've actually seen kids whine "can't we just eat at home?", which I still cannot wrap my head around. At all. The scenario at my house was more like his:

About once every, oh, 9 years my parents would decide you know what, let’s go into town for takeout instead of cooking dinner. Which would send my brother and I into a frenzy; we’d start shaking like soda, frothing at the mouth and just to make sure our folks would get our point we’d jump on chairs at the kitchen table and start our “mother and father, perchance you’d like to go into town and purchase some pizza we’d be much grateful, not only for the substance but for the love and support you’ve given us, providing a blanket of warmth in family in such a cold, cruel world” song, the lyrics of which were “P-I-ZZ-A!! P-I-ZZ-A!! P-I-ZZ-A!!!” One time we were doing this and from across the table I saw my brother slip off his chair, and in slow motion I saw his fall momentarily stopped by his temple meeting the edge of the table before his 8 year-old body fell to the floor. From my chair, I couldn’t see him on the floor, and it was all I could do to barely, quietly keep our chant going – hey, any momentum lost and we were right back to regular home-cooked dinner. Finally, after an amazingly long pause, I see a little, white paw fly up into he air and land SMACK! on the table...he’s up!! Dramatically dragging himself up to his chair, egg slowly rising on his temple and with a single-mindedness rivaled only MAYBE by the guy in Princess Bride looking for the 6-fingered man who killed his father, he found his feet, got himself together and our joyous chant resumed.

Was there any 60 minute stretch longer than when my mother would go into town to pick up the pizza? My mother would barely be out of the driveway and my brother and I would start our watch, noses pressed up against the living room window. You could see down the road about a quarter mile, each time we saw a glint of metal in the distance our frenzy would roil. At least if it was still light out you could quickly ascertain if it was her or not. God forbid it was nighttime; every pair of headlights creeeeeping down the road “is that her? Is that her? I think that’s her!!! It’s here-“ ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM car speeding by us. No mother, no pizza. Whoa. Has there ever been a sadder sentence written than that?

Over at Serious Eats today, we finally see a defense of the picky eater:

Yes, picky eating is often a repudiation of family, of culture, of the basic tenets of politeness. But it also marks the formation of an individual taste. We tend to be uncomfortable with firm stances on quality, often for good reason: The word “judgmental” started out positive, but now carries an unpleasant aroma. Though my son turns down some foods I love and consider good, he also has a knack for tasting artificial flavors or combinations that are slightly off. He is ever critical, but only sometimes wrong. And his resistance to parental pressure forces him to be creative in finding things he does want to eat.

Based on the opportunities he'll have that I never did, I doubt this kid will be a picky eater as an adult like I remain today. Maybe I'll email the writer to check back in with us over the years?

Since hearing about it almost 20 years ago on the WONDERFUL PBS documentary Sandwiches You Will Like, the Kentucky Hot Brown has always been on my bucket list. And every few months like clockwork, an article comes out about it:

The hot brown is many things: a celebration of place; a simple dish elevated by a derivative of one of the mother sauces of classic French cuisine; a culinary fascination. But many believe the exact recipe for the hot brown has changed in the nearly 100 years since it was first created, with the details differing even among Brown Hotel employees.

What works in 1926 works a century later, too. In an episode of the PBS show The Mind of a Chef, chefs David Chang and Sean Brock make a hot brown amidst discussion of a night of drinking. “I think we were in agreement that whoever invented it was drunk, or was cooking it for drunk people,” Chang jokes.

While it may have originated as a late-night drunk food, it’s also plenty popular with more sober guests: The Brown Hotel sells an average of 1,000 hot brown sandwiches per week, and on Derby weekend, it sells that number in just three days. “At any given time we could be serving 100 people and 90 of the orders will be hot browns,” says Adams.

Do yourself a favor and watch the Sandwiches doc, which I've referenced many times here over the years. Including, of course, the time I made one of them myself.

We're Fucked.

10 years ago, I wrote about the 1918 Influenza.

And now it's back.

Greeeeeeeeat.

RIP Marty Funkhouser

Bob Einstein, the older brother of the brilliant Albert Brooks, died today. Obviously he was Super Dave Osbourne and wrote with Steve Martin for the Smothers Brothers, but most people know him best for his brilliant turn on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Here's a list of his 5 funniest moments, not including one of mine: when they're trying to get onto the golf course and Richard Kind is taking his sweet time eating so Funkhouser perfectly delivers, "Will you please finish shoveling that shit into your face?"

A truly funny guy, and a sad loss for us.

Will you please finish shoveling that shit into your face?

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=curb-your-enthusiasm&episode=s07e07

London Calling Again

Thanks to Brothatime! I got to go to London again, and it was even more fantastic this time as we stayed in Soho, which is bumpin', and did such cool things as toured Buck House (I touched Queen Victoria's throne - not a euphemism), had a private tour of Churchill's War Room, visited Winchester Abbey again, and stayed at a creepy hotel Anthony Bourdain used to stay at. Every restaurant/pub we went to was awesome (save one Chinese restaurant misfire, but oh well), and a great surprise was discovering how wonderful Windsor is. I'll start this morning by posting some of my Instagrams, then later on when I get off my lazy ass I'll post more pics. Can't wait to go back!! :)

(Click on first picture to increase size and then click through them all.)