The Battlecats remind me of a fun, loose time when we were just busting at the seams with creative energy all the damn time, and it always was on the verge of snowing in the greatest city in the world.
Tuesday, October 31, 2023
The Battlecats
One of the more magical times of my life band-wise was 2000-2004, and one of the coolest parts was my band playing a few times with New Haven legends and fellow Reel to Reel artists The Battlecats. They were young, bursting with energy & optimism and their front man just had something about him that reminded you of John Lennon in Hamburg. And yeah, one of the girls was ridiculously hot in that 1980s teen movie kind of way. Nothing ever really happened with them, I guess they drifted apart like most bands. A year or two ago their guitar player died, and of course he was a super nice guy.
The Battlecats remind me of a fun, loose time when we were just busting at the seams with creative energy all the damn time, and it always was on the verge of snowing in the greatest city in the world.
The Battlecats remind me of a fun, loose time when we were just busting at the seams with creative energy all the damn time, and it always was on the verge of snowing in the greatest city in the world.
Help, I'm Stepping Into The Twilight Zone: Episode 5
I've been looking for something to thrill me a little for this Halloween October month and it occurred to me that an item on a list of things I wanna do a deep dive on is The Twilight Zone; I think I've somehow managed to make it to 51 years old without actually sitting down and watching an entire episode. So I will now spend the rest of the month watching one per day one whenever I remember to think about it, just for you people - you're welcome!
SEASON 1 EPISODE 5
Walking Distance
10/30/1959
XMASTIME REVIEW: another zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I mean none of this thing made any goddam sense but not in a good way
MOST INTERESTING THING ABOUT IT: I wanna say Ron Howard being in it but let's be honest the main actor pulled a murder/suicide with his wife so that's pretty tough to beat 🤷♂️
SEASON 1 EPISODE 5
Walking Distance
10/30/1959
XMASTIME REVIEW: another zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I mean none of this thing made any goddam sense but not in a good way
MOST INTERESTING THING ABOUT IT: I wanna say Ron Howard being in it but let's be honest the main actor pulled a murder/suicide with his wife so that's pretty tough to beat 🤷♂️
WEIRDEST THING IN HISTORY THAT HAPPENED ON THE DAY THIS EPISODE AIRED: the crash of Piedmont Airlines Flight 349 yikes okay that's a grim finish to this whole series. On a side note I'm bummed I didn't watch this last night so it'd sync up to exactly 64 years later to the day oh well 🤷♂️
I guess that's it for The Twilight Zone for me for now; other than the cool black & white film and spotting actors who would go on to greatness, it was a big snooze. But it's such a huge part of popular culture for some reason that after even such an admittedly small sample I wonder if there's a reason that whenever anyone talks about the show they pretty much talk about the same few episodes over & over? Which would be remarkable since it would make it the exact same situation as one of my previous October series, Edgar Allan Poe short stories... 🤔🤷♂️
Porridge
The episode Heartbreak Hotel from the second season of Porridge aired 48 years ago tonight; this has always been one of my all-time favorite shots from any sitcom. The cut to all the guys staring at Fletch's daughter, in particular Richard Beckinsale's perfectly dead eyes, is absolute comedy perfection and should hang from the Sitcom Hall of Fame rafters. How they got through this scene without having to do it a hundred times from cracking up is beyond me.
OFAH du Jour, 3
Enjoy this spoooooooooooooky scene of the Trotters having to book a night at the incredibly creepy Villa Bella, in this excerpt from The Jolly Boys Outing (Top 10 episode!!) 🤗👻🤣🤣🤣🤣
Brilliant Office Ideas. I Have Them.
If you wanna get someone in trouble during a meeting, wait until they start typing something on their laptop as whoever the biggest bigwig in the meeting is talking. As soon as said person stops typing, look down at your own screen, smirk a little, and then start randomly typing as if replying to them. A few of these and the bigwig will lose their shit thinking the other person is mocking them and BLAMMO!! office dramz baby!!!!!!
OFAH du Jour, 2
Okay I lied, there is another Halloween-y thing about Only Fools and Horses, and it's why Del Boy's only child is named Damien:
Damien is the only child of Del and Raquel and nephew of Rodney Trotter. A recurring theme in the show was Rodney's irrational, fixated belief that Damien was literally the Antichrist (an allusion to The Omen) despite the fact that Damien shows no resentment nor intentions of harm toward anybody except Rodney himself. He was named after Del and Raquel could not decide on a name for their unborn baby, so Rodney sarcastically suggested that they name him "Damien" as Rodney was convinced that the baby would be born half-demon. To his horror, they adored the name. Damien was born under a full moon and during the birth, Rodney even went as so far as to ask Del if the baby had been born with the numbers "666" branded on its forehead.
Only Fools and Horses du Jour
Obviously the only thing to even consider posting would be John Sullivan's brilliant take on Halloween 😜🤣🤣🤣🤣
Speaking of Halloween 15 Years Ago...
...let's celebrate the scaaaaaaaaaaariest Halloween guy of all time, COUNT JACKULA!!!
Here's Count Jackula working his minions up into a lather before a nighttime cruising, looking for blood.
The Count loads up on carbs before all that blood-sucking. "Causing famine and destruction is a quick energy thing," he explains.
XMAS: Count, thanks so much for sitting down with me today.
COUNT JACKULA: Gooot EEEEEEVAHn- (starts choking on cookie, regains composure) ah jeez-
XMAS: ohmygod, are you okay?
COUNT JACKULA: WHO THE F*&%%$#! put raisins in my cookie??!?!
XMAS: you know, you seem a tad young to be a Count
COUNT JACKULA: yeah? well you seem...is that a sandwich?
XMAS: wha?
COUNT JACKULA: in your pocket...did I see a sandwich in your pocket?
XMAS: why would I have a sandwich in my pocket?
COUNT JACKULA: you've never heard of hot pockets? hiyoooooooo!!! hey, I keed, I keed!....but seriously, I'm an undead beast that should be feared.
XMAS: obviously
COUNT JACKULA: hey, did you know Brazillian vampires are thought to have furry feet?
XMAS: no, I didn't know that
COUNT JACKULA: not my kind of Brazillian, know what I mean Xmas? hahahaha! hey relax, I keed, I keed, relax...lighten up!
XMAS: I'm trying to, I just-
COUNT JACKULA: I mean what am I doing here, desperately clawing at the top of my coffin with my thickened, elongated fingernails? Hey, is this thing on? Hahahahaa!...but seriously, I can possess the malevolent spirit of any corpse I want, so if I was you I'd be pretty frightened.
XMAS: Hmm.
COUNT JACKULA: And I can squat 450lbs.
XMAS: what's a myth about...your kind...that bothers you?
COUNT JACKULA: The "we're scared of garlic" nonsense. I, for one, love garlic - a nice chicken adobo, with some soy sauce and maybe sliced almonds, who doesn't love that? You know what DOES scare me?
XMAS: What?
COUNT JACKULA: People who put garlic in mashed potatoes. Ugh
XMAS: Yes!
COUNT JACKULA: And also vrykolakas, which just by the sound of it should be scaring the hell out of you right now.
XMAS: It is. I guess it's time for me to go now.
COUNT JACKULA: Oh too bad, I was going to show you how I turn into a bat.
XMAS: Really??
COUNT JACKULA: No. What am I, on Jack Benny here? But before you leave if you could reach up into the freezer for me, I've got a case of taquitos that've been burning a hole in my mind for the last hour.
XMAS: Count, it's been a pleasure. Thank you.
COUNT JACKULA: That's VON taquito! TWO taquito! THR- (choking on red velvet cupcake) ah, godd^&^!%$!%$!it!!!The Count with his undead, evil blood-sucking crew. Hmm. Frightening. Nyuk nyuk nyuk, indeed.
The Count: "I need a new gang..you call these dudes porphyriac? Maybe if we were making cupcakes for kittens instead of sucking the life out of the living..."
When the conversation turns from increasing the size of their undead army by inhabiting corpses and sucking blood of hapless victims to how much Lil Bat likes his new boots, The Count knows it's time to call it a night and wonders if Palace Fried Chicken is still open.
Halloween Memories
This is The Short Bus, Big Bear & Husky back in 2007. All of these kids are seniors in high school right now 😭😭😭😭
"This freakin; blows - let's bounce, fellas!"
#XOTD 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Too Many Halloween Plates
Here in Corporate America, everyone’s having fun laughing at the costumes some of the people have worn today. There are some “stars” of the office who with their lavish, loud costumes are getting all the attention and laughs as they bray about the office. But my heart is breaking for the girl in the cubicle in the corner that has a simple pair of mouse ears on her head and nobody's talking to her. :(
UPDATE: 2:08pm. Just noticed she took the ears off. :(
UPDATE: 2:28pm. Now she's going around the office handing out cookies to everybody. There is no justice in this world. 😡😡😡😡
UPDATE: 2:32pm. I took two. Poor thing.
Monday, October 30, 2023
Ideas. I Have Them.
There should be a game show where contestants are shown a picture of a movie star from the 1920s-1950s Hollywood studio system and asked “how many marriages did this person have” aaaaaaaaaand the answer is always 4.
Mad Dog du Jour!
After declaring he'd retire if the Diamondbacks beat the Phillies Mad Dog has to eat shit and this is made even more delightful by the fact that the other guy does a pretty good Doggie impression!🤗 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
"Was there something said?? How is he still here when he retired?" 😭@Dbacks President Derrick Hall confronts @MadDogUnleashed and discusses Arizona's remarkable #Postseason run so far.#HighHeat | @alannarizzo | #EmbraceTheChaos pic.twitter.com/eGKJrZjEZH
— MLB Network (@MLBNetwork) October 30, 2023
Help, I'm Stepping Into The Twilight Zone: Episode 4
I've been looking for something to thrill me a little for this Halloween October month and it occurred to me that an item on a list of things I wanna do a deep dive on is The Twilight Zone; I think I've somehow managed to make it to 51 years old without actually sitting down and watching an entire episode. So I will now spend the rest of the month watching one per day one whenever I remember to think about it, just for you people - you're welcome!
SEASON 1 EPISODE 4
The Sixteen-Millimeter Shrine
10/23/1959
XMASTIME REVIEW: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I mean I promise you I'm not kidding, I have no idea how this boring af turd got made; it's really a miracle this show was allowed to continue and eventually change enough to become what I must assume was amazing at some point
MOST INTERESTING THING ABOUT IT: someone mentioned the local "community chest"; as a Monopoly lover with a lifetime 12,922-6 W/L record (I am unapologetic slumlord, thank you very much) I never really thought it was even a real thing 🤷♂️
WEIRDEST THING IN HISTORY THAT HAPPENED ON THE DAY THIS EPISODE AIRED: Weird Al Yankovic was born
SEASON 1 EPISODE 4
The Sixteen-Millimeter Shrine
10/23/1959
XMASTIME REVIEW: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I mean I promise you I'm not kidding, I have no idea how this boring af turd got made; it's really a miracle this show was allowed to continue and eventually change enough to become what I must assume was amazing at some point
MOST INTERESTING THING ABOUT IT: someone mentioned the local "community chest"; as a Monopoly lover with a lifetime 12,922-6 W/L record (I am unapologetic slumlord, thank you very much) I never really thought it was even a real thing 🤷♂️
WEIRDEST THING IN HISTORY THAT HAPPENED ON THE DAY THIS EPISODE AIRED: Weird Al Yankovic was born
Life. It's Really Happening, Isn't It?
New (ish) Xmastime Series!
I call this one, "Shitty Comments I Make in My Head That I Don't Actually Post Because I Don't Wanna Put Such a Thing Out into the World". Enjoy, everybody!
Advice. I Have Some. For Once.
I don't consider myself to be a man of great wisdom and I don't think anybody ever looks to me for advice but as I see all the youngsters in my life growing closer to adulthood there's one piece of advice I would like to pass on: if you wake up in bed early having to piss, just get out of bed immediately and go piss. Don't try to ignore it, thinking you'll go back to sleep because the fact is you won't; you'll just lie there miserable until it's time for you to really get up and now you still have to piss and you haven't slept for the last hour or however long you've been lying there. Just get up & piss, and your odds of coming back to bed and falling instantly back to sleep are immensely greater than if you try to sleep though having to piss.
I respectfully remain,
XMASTIME
I respectfully remain,
XMASTIME
Know Thyself
While having to deal with a work laptop issue I realized the IT guy working on it has a boss named Will Hunting; take a wild guess how hard I had to gnash my teeth to not drop the shitty "oh, is he good?" joke.
We Don't Deserve Dogs
Questions. I Have Them.
I wonder how many wars we’d get into if by law one Representative from Congress had to suit up and go fight themselves (and I mean actual combat zones, not prancing around USO baseball fields like Joe DiMaggio). 🤔🤷♂️
Sunday, October 29, 2023
Questions. I Have Them.
BROOKLYN @25
[XMASTIME NOTE] I moved to Brooklyn 25 years ago this past January; throughout the year I'll be noting things, no matter how small they are in reality, that I remember & associate with those first few days/weeks/months of living in the greatest city in the world.
Steve Buscemi's brilliant Trees Lounge came out 15 months before I moved to Brooklyn and I had never heard of it at the time, but it's one of the first things I remember watching there. It's just a super snapshot of a certain time and a certain place, the neighborhood bar now presumably gone the way of the dodo bird, and anytime I even see it pop up I'm back at 232 Ainslie Street with Rrthur (YES ladies, THAT Rrthur!) and Mrs. Rrthur, fresh from moving to Brooklyn USA with everything & nothing in front of me all at once.
Steve Buscemi's brilliant Trees Lounge came out 15 months before I moved to Brooklyn and I had never heard of it at the time, but it's one of the first things I remember watching there. It's just a super snapshot of a certain time and a certain place, the neighborhood bar now presumably gone the way of the dodo bird, and anytime I even see it pop up I'm back at 232 Ainslie Street with Rrthur (YES ladies, THAT Rrthur!) and Mrs. Rrthur, fresh from moving to Brooklyn USA with everything & nothing in front of me all at once.
State du Moi
However this turns out you mofos already knows there's exactly one Beatles house I wanna live in.
New Xmastime Series!
I call this one, "If Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm Recorded B-Sides for Classic Hit Singles". Enjoy, everybody! 🎸🤗🤣🕺
Announcements. I Have Them.
I am currently working on a Mark Lewisohn-length tome based on the thesis that The Beatles had a curiously high number of big days in their history coming on the calendar days of 11 and 22...meanwhile, the JFK 11/22 assassination is a huge part of their American invasion origin story. 🤔🤷♂️
Will keep you posted, pleases don't start hounding me about this thank you.
Will keep you posted, pleases don't start hounding me about this thank you.
Tweet du jour
“I say in speeches that a plausible mission of artists is to make people appreciate being alive at least a little bit. I am then asked if I know of any artists who pulled that off. I reply, ‘The Beatles did’.” - Kurt Vonnegut
Current Events.
Everybody's wringing their hands re: "what if Trump is president while in jail?" but nobody seems to find it remarkable that apparently if you're a convicted felon you can run for president and BE the president but you cannot VOTE for a president. Hmm. 🤔🤷♂️
Saturday, October 28, 2023
An EGG FOO WHAT?! 🙏
Wegmans Rage Amirite?
I saw these last night at Wegmans and instantly flew into a rage, "WHY THE FUCK would they not color these submarine cookies yellow so they can be Yellow Submarines and tie into The Beatles' historic announcement re: the last ever song being release next week???!?!!!!!!! 😡😡😡😡
But then I noticed the other cookies around them and I now I'm beginning to wonder if maybe they aren't even submarines at all. 😬
But then I noticed the other cookies around them and I now I'm beginning to wonder if maybe they aren't even submarines at all. 😬
The Friend of My Enemy is Something or Other
If you end up going to hell for being an atheist why is that a bad thing? Wouldn’t Satan love you for not picking his enemy's team? Why would he punish you for it? Wouldn't it be "welcome to hell and thank you for your service, please enjoy the endless ice cream sandwiches and your favorite skanks from The Real World"? 🤔
Saint Reagan, Ronnie if You're Nasty
I submit that one day when nobody's alive from the days of his presidency to still be blinded by his hagiography that Ronald Reagan will be clearly marked by historians as the direct antecedent to Trump. But it's kinda funny that everybody knew he had been an actor but it never occurred to any of them that he was completely full of shit the whole time he was president. 🤔🤷♂️
Thoughts. I Have Them.
People love to brag about how much they don't trust the government but then seem to accept the rental bowling shoe cleaning people on blind faith without question. 🤔🤷♂️
Goals. I Have Them.
No luck needed, thanks!
Friday, October 27, 2023
Happy 84th Birfday John Cleese!!
There a gazillion great John Cleese moments to choose from so why not just go with what I consider to be maybe the funnest comedy scene in movie history, not counting the baseball scene from The Naked Gun of course.
TXSBRH!: The Reboot '23 Episode 4
15 years ago I started doing THE XMASTIME SUNDAY BRUNCH RADIO HOUR!; looking back I don't know why I called it that since it's just kinda a string of songs without any radio chatter in between but hey I was back in my early 60s back then, so gimme a break. Anyways it looks like I did about half a dozen of them so I figure hey why not re-post them since I barely recognize a few of these songs and it's great to hear them again. Obviously this time instead of embedding the songs one by one via song streaming services that haven't existed a decade I figured I'd just make a Spotify playlist (see below the post). I'll roll out one every Friday over the next month or so YOU'RE WELCOME!!
FROM OCTOBER 19, 2008: (yes, I am only now noticing that if I'd have just waited a week to launch this reboot the dates could be perfectly synced re: 15 years ago on the day but oh well sorry not sorry)
FROM OCTOBER 19, 2008: (yes, I am only now noticing that if I'd have just waited a week to launch this reboot the dates could be perfectly synced re: 15 years ago on the day but oh well sorry not sorry)
Wouldn’t It Be Nice (vocals only) – The Beach Boys
My #1 slice from Pet Sounds, vocals only. Shit like this reminds us that there was a time when you actually had to be TALENTED to put out records. I don’t know what’s more amazing here, the actual singing or the arranging. Or the fact that I spent about 15 minutes in bed this morning cracking myself up, riffing to myself. Jesus Christ I needa girlfrienda dogTivo. [2023 UPDATE: I have no idea why this version from the 1996 box (boxed?) set isn't on Spotify anymore - 😡😡😡😡 but you can hear it on YouTube here.]
Still I Dream of It – Brian Wilson
Speaking of the Beach Boys, I’m reminded of the years when I first moved to Williamsburg and every music geek would run over a bus to sprint to you to show that he had a better track listing for the legendary Smile sessions than you did. Or, incredibly, than BRIAN WILSON DID. Fucking christ…fact is Smile kinda blows, and the best slice from anything like it is this cut. I like that here's a dude that's 350lbs and he makes no bones about singing that he's waiting for someone to make him a sandwich. Makes my Pizza Hut buffet concept EP feel a little less silly, doesn't it? (email for a copy)
I Wonder What She’s Doing Tonight – Tommy Boyce & Bobby Hart
You KNOW what she’s doing: fucking!
Where Were You When I Needed You – The Grass Roots
When I was a kid my neighbor had an 8-track of the Grass Roots’ greatest hits, which were endless. Was a shock years later when I found out they weren’t actually a group, but rather a studio creation like many of the bubblegum hits of the jour. Side note: that neighbor’s father once duct-taped my mouth shut to shut me up during a NASCAR race on tv. How fucking awful is that? Seriously, making a kid sit through a fucking NASCAR race? Where there NO child abuse laws back then?!??!??!?!!
Sweet Cherry Wine – Tommy James & the Shondells
TJ is another one of those dudes during the bubblegum craze that seemed to show up one day and cranked out about 50 Top 10 hits in an afternoon. There are no bad Tommy James songs. This is my slice, a ridiculously great-sounding cut that belies it’s own message. Like when a hot chick slowly jerks you off while breathing in your ear that she’s got a dick. Well, so I would guess. Cough.
Eve of Destruction – Barry McGuire
If this song came out today, would it get played on the radio even once? And if it did, would the cds ironically be laced with lead from “Red China”? And whose idea was it to record this DURING Barry McGuire’s tracheotomy? Shit really was time-sensitive back then. Man. This also might be the best song there is that, while sending out a powerful message about the state of the world, reminds us that, let's be honest here, people with those electrolarynx voice boxes are FUNNY. Are you talking to me, or repeating my order at the drive-thru? (Hell, table for one please)
Dawn of Correction – The Spokesman
The ultra-cheesy response to Eve of Destruction. I’d imagine this is how information is distilled on the way to the Oval Office: Eve of Destruction going in, Dawn of Correction by the time it gets to Bush’s ears. "Everything's groovy, boss! You're the best!" Zing!
Turn On Your Love Light – Them
Which is the higher number: # of times I’ll masturbate to Susan Lucci on the HSN today, or # of albums Van Morrison will put out today? It’s a toss off up.
One Way Ticket - The Breakaways
1979-1981 is a golden age of bubblegum/garage slices, and Peter Case is The Godfather of that scene. Case was also in the Nerves (Hanging on the Telephone) and, of course, The Plimsouls, whose uber-slice Million Miles Away was in Valley Girl. A movie that let us know "hey you know what, Nic Cage will never, EVER cash in by doing big, stupid, beyond-absurd stupid movies! He's the real thing!"
EFW?! Single: Ralph Malph!!
After talking about how cool The Fonz was, Greg & Mike reflect on one of Greg's earliest heroes. 🤗🤣🕺#sundaymondayhappydays
Hmm.
Life. It's a Rollercoaster.
11:38:22 am: "It's fucking 80 degrees outside. Kill me 😡😡😡😡"
I Love Pluto TV!
This. This is the Fucking Problem.
I don't know why this is news but surprise surprise some shithead CEO billionaire thinks people didn't work heard during COVID:
Schwarzman, the Blackstone CEO whose fortune is estimated at $32 billion, told a crowd of investors at a ritzy Saudi Arabia conference known as “Davos in the Desert” that people who worked remotely during the pandemic “didn’t work as hard – regardless of what they told you.”Pretty standard, paint-by-numbers some clueless asshole would say to other asshole so not really a big deal. But then asshole gives away the game:
Of course, many Americans would argue they never worked harder. Parents often had to juggle near-constant Zoom meetings and Slack messages while simultaneously helping kids whose schools were shut. Others had to take care of babies and toddlers whose day cares were closed or help elderly family members quarantining with them.
“During the pandemic, people got used to staying at home,” Schwarzman said. “It was actually more profitable for them to stay home because one, they didn’t work as hard, regardless of what they told you. Second, they don’t spend money to commute. They can make their lunch at home. They don’t have to buy expensive clothes, so their incomes are higher.”
That's funny - when a business does ANYthing that makes things easier for itself and saves money and delivers more profit to itself we all fall on our knees & genuflect what noble geniuses they are, but if some regular office worker stumbles into having a single penny more for themselves then suddenly it's a fucking problem that needs to be addressed.
In America.
If you want to know what an actual "responsible gun owner" looks like, this may be the first one.
Thursday, October 26, 2023
Regrets. I Have Them.
Just really bummed - British pun intended - that when I was 14 I didn't come up with a "gayness and anus rhyme" joke. 🤔🤷♂️
Life. It's Really Happening, Isn't It?
Nobody's ever said a word to me about getting a 1.0 my first semester in college and yet for 35 years none of my friends have stopped giving me shit for thinking Tori Spelling in Beverly Hills 90210 was hot.
YYYYYAAAAAASSSSSSSSS!!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗🤗
The funniest man in the world.
— HBO Documentaries (@HBODocs) October 26, 2023
Albert Brooks: Defending My Life, an @HBO Original Documentary from Director @RobReiner about his best friend - comedian, actor, and filmmaker @AlbertBrooks - premieres November 11 on @StreamOnMax. #AlbertBrooksHBO pic.twitter.com/MBAyQPmqfU
Favorite New Painting!
"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't lay down some sick fat guitar on your mind-shaping 2007 album So Far, So Good, So What?"
Sigh. Yes he did, faithful reader
Meanwhile, enjoy the video and if you're in New York this Fall go see his art show! 🤗
Not Too Good!
My nephew mentioned he'd watched an episode of Seinfeld for the first time and he seemed to like it and of course he did because it was The Bubble Boy episode. I was so excited by this I watched it myself for the first time in a hundred years - like most people, episodes of Seinfeld are just burned forever into the inside of my eyelids, running at all times - and while it's just as funny as I thought, one curious thing about the episode that's never been addressed over the last 30 years is that it does start with the premise that after only a few dates with someone (or one date for all we know, we never see the character before or after the scene) a guy would just easy breezy play a phone message from his machine across the room in front of her while he just moseys around the kitchen. 🤔🤷♂️
ALSO: should The Bubble Boy get credit for inspiring Will Ferrell's Wedding Crashers character?
EGG FOO WHAT?! Episode 67
SEE IT ALL HERE
It's All Here!! Soon! 🤗🎸
And of course the reissues of the Red and Blue albums were also announced, of which I have 2 thoughts:
1) the only good thing Allen "Satan" Klein did was putting these compilations out 50 years ago and the only other good thing he did was not putting covers on them, so I don't really understand why they have 3 covers on them now. MAYBE I can understand Twist and Shout because it's become so iconically theirs and a big part of the "recording Please Please Me all in one 10-hour session" story, but I don't see the point of these at all.I can't wait to hear the new - AND FINAL - Beatles track next week!!!!
2) they did a TERRIBLE job of taking my advice re: what to add and what to take off; DO YOUR OWN COMPARISONS WHILE AGREEING WITH ME HERE
Wednesday, October 25, 2023
It's Already October 20fucking5th WTF
I'm already feeling bummed about not really doing anything this October spooky season for Halloween other than watch a coupla disappointing Twilight Zone episodes and right now it's fucking 80 degrees so I just fucking give up 😡 😡 😡 😡
Last year I read In Cold Blood along with AP Mike for EGG FOO WHAT?!
READ ABOUT MY 2021 OCTOBER BOOKS HERE
READ MY 2020 EDGAR ALLAN POE WRAP-UP HERE
Last year I read In Cold Blood along with AP Mike for EGG FOO WHAT?!
READ ABOUT MY 2021 OCTOBER BOOKS HERE
READ MY 2020 EDGAR ALLAN POE WRAP-UP HERE
Well I guess I did watch The Wicker Man, which I admired here for a particular reason. But still: 😡
Deepity Dish
I've only been to Chicago once and it was for barely 24 hours, and when I tell people about the "deep dish" pizza I had there nobody ever believes me but now here's a video of that very pizza so those people may kindly go fuck themselves. (Curtsy).
@devourpower A few years back, we went to Chicago Pizza & Oven Grinder Company in Chicago, IL and DEVOURED their Pizza-Pot-Pie. 🥧🍕🔥 This place is wild. We absolutely loved it. Would you try this?! #DEVOURPOWER #fyp #foryou #chicago #chicagoil #chicagopizzaandovengrinders #chicagopizza #chicagofood #pizza #pizzapotpie #devour #foodies #couple #foodblog #travel ♬ original sound - DEVOURPOWER
Well, Well, Well....
...all of us Beatles fans - yes, there's a few of us - are patiently waiting on a huge announcement from The Beatles tomorrow, presumably re-mastered version of the Red & White albums along with "the last Beatles song ever", Here and Now which I wrote about back in June.
And speaking of the iconic Red & Blue compilation albums that are turning 50 this year it's interesting we see this note from one of my favorite podcasts who generally have their nose to the streets with these things:
"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you rail about the absurdity of there only being two songs from Revolver - one of which is Yellow Submarine!!! - on this compilation?"
Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did!!
Speaking of Revolver here's a short video on how Capitol Records did all they could to fucking ruin the album; how The Beatles still ruled America after shit like this is remarkable.😡
And speaking of the iconic Red & Blue compilation albums that are turning 50 this year it's interesting we see this note from one of my favorite podcasts who generally have their nose to the streets with these things:
"But Xmastime", you say in the voice of Craig “Ironhead” Heyward from those soap commercials (RIP), “didn't you rail about the absurdity of there only being two songs from Revolver - one of which is Yellow Submarine!!! - on this compilation?"
Sigh. Yes I did, faithful readers, YES I did!!
Questions. I Have Them.
What things are learned, and what things are inside us? For instance, over the past few decades I've gotten into the habit of once I lock into a flannel shirt to wear at home everyday I like to do just that. Meanwhile I remember my father doing the same from time to time; in particular I remember him wearing out a red & white striped shirt with a big tear in one of the elbows. Did I choose to do my own shirt thing because of watching him, or is it just one of those things passed on from father to son or is it just nothing at all because of course who doesn't like the comfort of a well-worn favorite shit every night? 🤔🤷♂️
Pushing Buttons
Yesterday on a company-wide Teams meeting I somehow clicked on something that muted the entire meeting; it was sorted out after about 10 minutes and I got a kick out of it not only from watching people in the chat section pretend to melt down and care but because it reminded me of the time The Barber walked into my office, touched a single key on my laptop and BLAMMO!...at that exact moment the lights went out for what turned out to be the 2003 NYC Blackout (which, as you recall, was for us Williamsburg folks delightful). 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Kids Do the Darndest Things I Mean FFS People I Am Really Running Out of Titles After 19 Years of This
Growing up I don't really remember a lot of peer pressure in school among my friends, maybe I was oblivious to it but I never felt there was a lot of angst about Keeping Up with the Joneses like in all the John Hughes movies. Partly I guess because none of it ever seemed possible, I knew I wasn't going to get the fanciest whatever shirt and if any of my friends did they didn't really seem to care if I didn't so it was never a thing.
But one day in Mrs. Thompson's 6th grade social studies class she asked how many of us in the room were Catholic. Based on having gone to church every Sunday since the dawn of time in my hometown I should've known I was the only one in the room, but as my arm was about to shoot up I heard Joe Pollard behind me boom "ain't nobody in here no Catholic!" in as indignant a voice as any 6th-grader could have about such a deep subject and I instinctively jerked my hand back down beside me in what I perceived should be shame. I can't rememebr what happened next, I'm sure Mrs. Thompson said "Wait Greg aren't you Catholic?" and I'm sure I said yes and nobody cared at all and we got on with our lives just fine.
I'm reminded of that because in this scene from Welcome to Wrexham I see this little girl in the middle who obviously raised her hand only after seeing her classmates response, not wanting to be on the outside of such a thing looking in. I don't really have much to say other than I felt a connection to her and just hope I can put out a little vibe out there in the world and let her know that whether or not she'd raised her hand at that moment she was probably going to be perfectly fine with all her friends, and I hope she's not bummed out when she sees this episode, presumably with her friends again.
But one day in Mrs. Thompson's 6th grade social studies class she asked how many of us in the room were Catholic. Based on having gone to church every Sunday since the dawn of time in my hometown I should've known I was the only one in the room, but as my arm was about to shoot up I heard Joe Pollard behind me boom "ain't nobody in here no Catholic!" in as indignant a voice as any 6th-grader could have about such a deep subject and I instinctively jerked my hand back down beside me in what I perceived should be shame. I can't rememebr what happened next, I'm sure Mrs. Thompson said "Wait Greg aren't you Catholic?" and I'm sure I said yes and nobody cared at all and we got on with our lives just fine.
I'm reminded of that because in this scene from Welcome to Wrexham I see this little girl in the middle who obviously raised her hand only after seeing her classmates response, not wanting to be on the outside of such a thing looking in. I don't really have much to say other than I felt a connection to her and just hope I can put out a little vibe out there in the world and let her know that whether or not she'd raised her hand at that moment she was probably going to be perfectly fine with all her friends, and I hope she's not bummed out when she sees this episode, presumably with her friends again.
18 & Life to Go
We're not supposed to connect what we're seeing today with the cult of fetishism Trump supporters display to Hitler's rise in the 1930s; of course any comparison is instantly deemed to be ridiculous. But the ancient axiom that old men send young men to die in their wars because young men are foolish enough to be convinced to fight for their cause is also very true. I'm 51 years old and there's no possible scenario in which anyone could convince me to suit up for some war out of patriotism or some other bullshit, for two reasons: since I'm 51 and not 18 I know that life is not cheap & disposable, or that there'll be some reward in the afterlife for "noble heroes" (paging Wilfred Owen, please) for me to revel in. But more importantly when you're 51 you've seen behind the curtain a little bit and you know the reasons for young men dying in these wars aren't always as pure as the history books like to tell. And to tie it back to Hitler, when we think of a young American boy dying in battle during WWII we think of his journey to that final bullet being one of duty-fueled nobility and genuine dreams about saving the world etc etc, when in reality the whole reason he was even there in the first place is because more than a decade earlier millions of people had gotten together and decided it was a perfectly fine and normal thing to do to elect Adolf Hitler into power. And of course we can assume that exactly 0 of these people had any idea of what would follow in the end, and we'd like to assume that about 99% of them would change that vote if they could go back in time. And so then the reason that maybe it's NOT such a "crazy!" thing to do to compare those people to Trump's people is that right now we have millions of people recklessly throwing their vote to someone in an almost cavalier manner, one part "it doesn't matter anyway they're all crooked" and another part "sticking it to the libs!", all while watching the results of their decision unfold in front of them as if they're only watching a movie and there's no real-world consequences. Then one day 10 years down the road some 18 year-old kid is getting his head sawed off his body in a desert halfway around the world and the reason he was even there in the first place with a uniform & a gun won't be because God is always on our side and there will be salvation in the end if we fight the good fight blah blah blah, it'll be because more than a decade earlier millions of people had gotten together and decided it was a perfectly fine and normal thing to do to elect Donald Trump into power.
Tuesday, October 24, 2023
Teen Age Riot
After 30 years I finally decided to watch 1991: The Year Punk Broke but I only lasted about 10 minutes.
BUT.
It served to remind me that while I've never particularly cared for Sonic Youth's particular brand of dissonance, Teen Age Riot will always be in my own "summer teenage heartache song" Hall of Fame (see them open with it on my first trip to New York in 1992!!!) I will never, ever think of my first visit to NYC in the Summer of 1992 without thinking of Sonic Youth, or the fact that them opening with Teen Age Riot is one of my Top 10 live rock moments of all time 🤗🎸🎸🎸🕺
Just now thinking to ask: why is it "Teen Age" and not "teenage"? 🤔🤷♂️
BUT.
It served to remind me that while I've never particularly cared for Sonic Youth's particular brand of dissonance, Teen Age Riot will always be in my own "summer teenage heartache song" Hall of Fame (see them open with it on my first trip to New York in 1992!!!) I will never, ever think of my first visit to NYC in the Summer of 1992 without thinking of Sonic Youth, or the fact that them opening with Teen Age Riot is one of my Top 10 live rock moments of all time 🤗🎸🎸🎸🕺
Just now thinking to ask: why is it "Teen Age" and not "teenage"? 🤔🤷♂️
Help, I'm Stepping Into The Twilight Zone: Episode 3
I've been looking for something to thrill me a little for this Halloween October month and it occurred to me that an item on a list of things I wanna do a deep dive on is The Twilight Zone;
I think I've somehow managed to make it to 51 years old without
actually sitting down and watching an entire episode. So I will now
spend the rest of the month watching one per day one whenever I remember to think about it, just for you people -
you're welcome!
SEASON 1 EPISODE 3
Mr. Denton on Doomsday
10/16/1959
XMASTIME REVIEW:
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz blonde chick is smoking hot zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
MOST INTERESTING THING ABOUT IT: Martin Landau looked like such a terrifying asshole lunatic I really don't know why he wasn't a bigger movie star. (But if he was, would that be something pleased you?)
WEIRDEST THING IN HISTORY THAT HAPPENED ON THE DAY THIS EPISODE AIRED: George Marshall died...I mean even that's a goddam snooze
Meanwhile, It's NBA Opening Day Again
Nobody watches fewer NBA games and yet has more opinions about the NBA than me. Nobody.
Bye Bye Bobi
I will hug my furry little friend a little closer tonight. #Scooter
NOTE TO SELF
Never walk the length of the office to the office printer without already holding some random documents in your hand so that during the long walk back to your desk from the printer you don't look like an idiot with no documents in your hand at which point everyone in the entire office will know it's because you were too stupid to figure out how to use the printer.
“Portrait of the Egg Foo Young Artist as a Young Man”
College Application Pressure in the Social Media Era
'Tis the season for parents to proudly start posting around on social media whatever colleges their kid is applying to, with many updates along the way culminating with an ebullient "Baby Boy, Jr. got into Dipshit U!"; just once I’d like to see someone take us on this social media journey for months and in the end just come out & say yeah you know what the kid didn’t get in anywhere 🤷♂️.
Thoughts. I Have Them.
It’s kinda funny that the very people always claiming they “do their own research” for very important things are usually the exact same people who blindly follow without question a single book that has no bibliography, no citations, no source notes or references and no living witnesses at the time of its writing. 🤔🤷♂️
SPOOOOOOOKY WHOA! du Jour
Just the other day I mentioned what a bummer it is that we missed out on a possible Buddy Holly/Beatles collaboration. Meanwhile I've just realized that while I've read a million books and seen a million documentaries on Buddy Holly I never really noticed that his funeral was on February 7, four days after his pane went down outside of Clear Lake, Iowa.
And what happened EXACTLY 5 years later, on February 7, 1964?
Not only was it the day The Beatles came to America, but they did it on a plane that unlike Buddy's made it (thankfully) to its destination. Trippy, n'est-pas? Is there some magic about that plane? Is it still around, resting somewhere in an airplane graveyard? Why is it not a museum at this point? 🤔🤷♂️
And what happened EXACTLY 5 years later, on February 7, 1964?
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