I was watching "Rock of Love wih Bret Michaels," the Faulkner of reality tv, the other day. As usual the scene is Bret with a group of almost nekkid chicks standing around "partying" (ie each girl drinking and waiting for some sort of signal from Bret that they should probably rip their drawers off and use that goddam bandanna of his as a seat cushion) when someone suggests Bret play them a song. "Yaaaay, play us a song!!!" they all coo, shrieking and clapping. And Bret, god bless him, doesn't even go thru the obligatory "oh no, no, come on, no way..." rigamarole you're supposed to do. He immediately jumps up "okay!" and grabs his acoustic guitar as the girls crowd around and spray the carpet.
Now at this point I'm thinking hmm....old school country slice? Maybe a classic rock joint he loved back in the day? Homage to KISS? I mean, you show up at Springsteen's house with a guiitar there's no way he's playing "Born to Run" for chrissakes, right? Anything BUT, for sure.
Oh wait, I quickly think to myself, 10 minutes never goes by without Bret insisting to the cameras that music is his life - in fact, he wakes up very early very morning to write new songs. Every day, all he does is think about and write music. So I'm like well, maybe he'll break out a new jam of his own? Maybe even something inspired by the girls? Anything?
Nyet. Dude's ass has barely hit the chair again and he's strumming the intro to "Every Rose Has It's Thorn." Earnest as all get out, true to the album version, not rushing the intro. Good lord. I have no words for this, other than a bemused/stunned "wow."
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Even I must admit---the over-use of "Every Rose" has made me question Brett's musical ability---I know, this from me who's idea of romance and true love is derived from Poison's rock anthem "Talk Dirty to me." Could it be, now, I'm just going out on a limb here, that "Rose" is the ONLY song Brett actually knows how to play and that Cee Cee Deville is responsible for every bit of guitar track ever laid down on a Poison album?
well. he doesn't have a lot of time on his hands obviously. you know, "looking for love" all day. cough.
He's quite jowely these days. *shudder* Never my guy, but still, a face to be missed.
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