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Thursday, March 20, 2008

Unconquerable Madness

Every single year (except this one now, so of course I'll look like a fucking idiot) my tournament picks go the exact same within my little Yahoo group: Day 1, I sprint way out ahead of everybody, and by the end of the 2nd day I am so far ahead of everyone else I have to practice my false modesty act in front of a mirror, saying things like "oooh, I thought I picked (insert losing team), guess I didnt. Boy was that lucky!" But the whole time the smarm is thickening as I mentally pat all my friends on their heads, thinking hey, I played the game! They dont know what they're doing, I AM THE EXPERT!!! Because we're boys, every year I take particular glee in finding my boy Op buried at the bottom of the basement, with picks so awful I have both hands on my hips as I lean back, parallel to the ground and loudly "har! har! har!" in my room by myself for about 10 minutes.

Then the next weekend comes, and the gap starts closing. Okay okay, dont panic, Im thinking, my bracket sheet worn down to its original pupa. I'm still out in front, and Op foolishly picked Strawberry Shortcake and Grandpa Munster to go to the Final Four.

Of course by the end of that Sunday night I'm under my bed in the dark, naked save for a thin coat of Country Crock spread, weeping as somehow everybody (including Op) has vaulted past me and I am buried DEEP at the bottom. Way bottom. EVERY YEAR this happens like clockwork. I'll keep you posted. Sigh.

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