I'm obsessed with what year anybody I meet graduated from high school. I don't know why, I guess it helps place them in some sort of context. Not even actual age as much as the year they graduated, if that makes any sense. Most people I know get annoyed with this, scowling "who gives a shit?" So I've always assumed I'm kinda in the minority for caring about nailing a fact like that down.
But am I the only person who's ever wondered why they always list everyone's age in newpapaer articles? It doesn't matter what the article is about, they always stick it in there.
"Jim Johnson, 39, was in line for gas and expressed 'yeah, these prices are tough.'"
And they never list the age as if to say the age is relevant, they never even imply why the age would be important to the story and listed in the first place. It's always so matter-of-fact, as if in the middle of talking to us the reporter has leaned in with a hand on my shoulder "you know, he's 39" and then goes on with the story. That REALLY drives me bananas, the matter-of-factness. And in what percentage of articles do you think the age is actually relevant? 10? 5? MAYbe? So about 90% of the time, the person's age is just an arbitrary thing they've stuck in there, right. Why not:
"Jim Johnson, O-negative, was in line for gas and expressed 'yeah, these prices are tough.'"
or
"Jim Johnson, doggy-style, was in line for gas and expressed 'yeah, these prices are tough.'"
"Jim Johnson, twice a day and again if he's having trouble getting to sleep, was in line, 4th out of 10, for gas, regular, and expressed, belying his hawaiin shirt, 'yeah, these prices are tough.'"
Whack, n'est-pas?
1 comment:
Newspapers use age to ward off libel suits, like the one that Joe Smith, 39, from Williamsburg would file if he read that Joe Smith (age not given, but not 39) was arrested in Williamsburg after running naked and smeared with shit through his neighbor's bedroom. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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