/* MOBILE FIX: stop forcing desktop min-width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } .date-header { background: #000 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .date-header span { background: transparent !important; } .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; } /* --- XMastime fixes: titles + date bars + mobile --- */ /* Post titles: stop random centering */ h3.post-title, h2.post-title, .post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* Date header: make the black bar extend full width */ .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* Mobile: stop forcing huge desktop width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* FORCE post titles consistent */ .post-title, .post-title a, h2.post-title, h3.post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* FORCE full-width date bar across common Blogger structures */ .date-header, .date-header span, .post-header, .post-header-line-1, .post-header-line-1 span, .post-outer .post-header-line-1, .post-outer .post-header, .blog-posts .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; margin: 0 !important; } /* prevent inner bits from “breaking” the bar */ .date-header *, .post-header *, .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* MOBILE: stop the fixed 1218px width behavior */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body, .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* DATE HEADER: make the black bar go full width */ .date-outer, /* FORCE FULL WIDTH DATE BAR NO MATTER WHAT */ .date-outer, .date-posts, .date-posts h2, .date-posts h3, .date-header, h2.date-header, h3.date-header { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 10px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; margin: 0 0 18px 0 !important; } /* force the TEXT itself orange and remove any weird inner box */ .date-posts span, .date-header span, .date-posts h2 span, .date-posts h3 span { background: transparent !important; color: #ff6600 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; } -->

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Dare to Dream!

Not only should prostitution be legal, but wouldn't it be great if once it was they had drive-thrus?

Voice in speaker: Welcome to McHookers may I take your order?
Xmastime: Yeah...gimme...lessee...ahhh...gimme the Asian with big tits, please
Voice in speaker: would you like the combo, or just the Asian lady?
Xmastime: what do I get with the combo?
Voice in speaker: some assplay and a medium orange juice
Xmastime: yeah, what the the hell, gimme the combo
Voice in speaker: sssssgggggccczzzaaaaassssquaaaauuuaacckpop!
Xmastime: excuse me?
Voice in speaker: would you like to supersize that?
Xmastime: nah, I don't want 'em too big, regular big is fine
Voice in speaker: that'll be $314.25, drive to the first window please
Xmastime: thanks - hey wait, what's on your hundred-dollar menu?
Voice in speaker: handjob, makeout/grope session, titsucking or staged breakup at your workplace.
Xmastime: hmmmmmm
Voice in speaker: would you like to try one of our hunder-dollar menu items today?
Xmastime: ahhhh...naw. just the combo I guess. thanks.

(drives up to window)

Girl at window: $314.25
Xmastime: aight (hands her $320)
Girl at Window: do you have a quarter, sir?
Xmastime: did I give you a quarter?
Girl at Window: no
Xmastime: well, there ya go.
Girl at Window: your change is $5.75, drive up to next window please
Xmastime: thanks

(drives up to window)

Guy at Window: okay, you have the Asian with big tits combo?
Xmastime: yup
Guy at Window: oooooookay...actually, sir, do you mind pulling up to the end of the curb there? It's gonna be a few minutes. Thank you for coming to McHookers.
at

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

special on 'STD's....

the secret? Special sauce. Thank you and come again.

12:21 AM
Gina said...

drive-thru brothels? Amsterdamn.

6:55 PM

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