Why Do People Still Talk to Me?

Just to make sure the woman I met and was smitten with the other night realizes that she is dealing with a complete pussy who has no intention of ever actually speaking to a woman again and will spend the rest of his days getting pushed around by squirrels, I followed up my brilliant texting campaign with the modern day version of "DO YOU LIKE ME YES OR NO CIRCLE ONE" - but without the guts - by tracking her down on Facebook and asking her to be "my friend." Jesus christ. I'd say I'm hopeless, but that's an insult to terminally ill paraplegics whose genitals have been removed due to cancer. Grrr.