An Open Letter to the Guy Whistling at Foodtown

Dear Sir:

In what I'm sure is a big surprise to everybody, your incredibly loud whistling was in fact NOT more pleasing to the ear than Adele singing through the store's speakers - while her voice is ridiculously amazing, your shrill whistle served merely to slice through my skull and stab my brain.  This is not to say I don't admire your presumed belief that we're all living in your world and you above all else should be paid attention to, in fact I admire that, but maybe next time you hear one of the world's greatest singers who has sold millions of records and thrilled millions in audiences around the globe while you're in a public place, take pause before assuming people would rather hear you instead.  Thank you for your cooperation.

I remain,
XMASTIME