Eating on River Avenue

The Yankees have unveiled new amenities to the stadium for this season, including a fried chicken & waffles cart and "fill a batting helmet with nachos!" offer. Which means, of course, it's an excuse to remind you people of when Xmastime was pampered at the stadium. And since you didn't ask, my 5 favorite lines:

- We finally get there and get directed to a part of the Stadium I didn't know existed, The Valley of Vale and Majesty, where we meet up with Randy who takes us through some hallway and down some stairs into what opens up into a huge space I can only describe by saying "how I'd imagine what the cafeteria/dining room of the Justice League looks like."

- Another thing I realized sitting so close to the field is how bright everything really is under the lights. I mean the lights, these fucking lights could generate enough energy to move Kirstie Alley a quarter-inch. Well. Almost. They're lights, not magic. 

Fuck it, y'all find 3 more, I can't spoon-feed you this shit.