Food Pet Peeve: Hard Butter

Eater asks what your food pet peeve at a restaurant is, and mine is certainly ice-cold butter. Of course, when I was a kid if you had soft, spreadable butter I thought you were rich:

Soft butter. I don’t think I even knew this existed until I got a girlfriend and had dinner at her house. A stick of butter could not enter my house unless it was frozen solid as if hurled from a comet. And good luck actually spreading this shit on a piece of bread; after 3 seconds the bread would be shredded, and 99% of the butter was still piled high on one spot. Great. I remember trying tricks such as putting the butter on top of the toaster while I toasted my bread or shoving it up Raoul the stockboy’s ass from Sunnyside Grocery down the road. Zero luck. - XMASTIME

And remember cereal commercials when you were a kid, and they'd show a huge, balanced breakfast that included toast? Why the fuck would they always have the toast sitting there, with a disgusting block of butter in the middle of it? Has anybody ever sat down to this and thought hmmmmm, yummmy!!!!  In this ONE bite of the toast, I'll get all the butter!  Yaaaaay!!!!!

Meanwhile, what the fuck looks better than this? What the fuck? Why didn't they just spread the shit like normal?

I think buttered white bread, cut diagonally, might be my most Proustian of foods, especially when there's snow on the ground.