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Monday, April 29, 2024

A Compendium of My Tweets as I was Watching the Bon Jovi Doc on Hulu This Weekend

11 minutes in and if I hear the words “work ethic” one more time I’m pulling this fucking Internet off the goddam road

I have no beef with Bon Jovi but watching him work so hard trying to show you that he deserves his success is fucking E. X. H. A. U. S. T. I. N. G.

Does he have AIDS? He keeps alluding to some hospital stay did I miss something? I’m like bro I know you're perfectly fine today are you trying to make me feel bad? Dafuck Bon Jovi?

This Bon Jovi doc makes Some Kind of Monster look like Get Back I mean ffs guys

Wait did I miss something are we supposed to believe that Bon Jovi himself still has no idea why Richie quit the band he’s all like 🤷‍♂️ I mean come the fuck on already guys

The new guitar player just made a big defiant “this is OUR house!” and I was like ok cool then he said “and all of you guys are in the house!!” so now I’m like wait what?

Bon Jovi seems to be under the impression that people have historically bought music based on their impression of how hard the artist worked on said music. 

How’s this thing end? Bon Jovi blows his brains out because he can’t hit the high note anymore? I mean come the fuck on already

And, of course:
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