Xmastime So Sayeth, So Sayeth Xmastme

Look, all I really want out of this thing called "life" is that when I go to the place that’s holding some sort of event to honor me & my brilliance I get held up outside by a security guard who doesn't recognize me or know who I am despite my being the honoree of the event and my many fans surrounding us screaming at the guard that I am who I say I am and to let me in, and in the ensuing minutes while somebody goes to fetch the boss of the event to yell and scream at the guard who detained me I’m incredibly charismatic and bemused by the whole affair, signing autographs & cracking jokes and even calming the big boss down when he shows up ready to fire the guard for having the audacity to hold me up; I let the guard take a few selfies with me for his kids/wife/whoever and then I go on through to the massive ceremony waiting to shower me with adoration for my lifetime of brilliance before then "enduring" weeks & weeks of having to hear people tell the story over & over again while marveling at how wonderfully I handled the whole situation by being friendly & down-to-Earth, I mean is this really all too much to ask?