The Erin Andrews Sex Tape (I've Had Sexier Porn Fall Outta the corner of Mouth)

I'm sorry if Erin Andrews feels violated, but I think that's what happens when a sports channel decides to start hiring a disproportionate high amount of young, smoking hot women as reporters instead of old, grizzly, paunchy ex-players. Yes I'm sure she's well-qualified and knows her sports, but she was chosen over, say, Randy White, for a single reason: S E X. Period. Yeah there's nekkid film of her floating around, but if you think for one second ESPN is upset about it you're an idiot.

I've screamed about this on Xmastime a thousand fucking times, including HERE.

Just like my beef with sideline reporters – I’m not saying they’re not qualified, but can I go through 15 minutes of a football game without some young, perky blond on the sidelines yammering? IT’S A FOOTBALL GAME – gimme some old, ornery cuss barking shit at me. Thousands of retired football players out there, and I'm sitting there listening to someone whose proximity to actually playing the game can be measured in how big her high school boyfriend's dick was? Camon. My life in general throughout any given day is ruled by thinking of how I’m gonna see my next naked chick – can I get a fucking break during the Food Channel? And football? Please?