I've found it's hard for guys to admit publicly they're fat - I never really did it til here. We always say things like "hey hey, I'm the big guy!" or some stupid shit. But the fact is we should be saying "hey hey, I've got 7 years to live and the last person to see my dick was my mom when she was fishing around in the crotch of my Toughskins!" Big, husky, whatever, we never say we're fat. Unlike a woman, who will set their alarms earlier so they can have more time to tell everyone they see how fat they are. Is there anything better than watching two chicks whose ribs you can see trying to out-fat each other? Like watching Tito and Jermaine Jackson trying to out-brother each other. Absurd.
It's the same thing with being depressed, a dude will never come out and say "I'm depressed." Women? No problem. Well, mostly cause they all think they're 400 pounds I guess. A dude and a girl could spend the day both doing the exact same thing: laying in bed staring at the wall depressed outta their minds. Yet ask them what they did all day and you'll get two different answers.
GIRL: "Oh god, I laid in bed all day depressed out of my mind. Cried my eyes out, ate a cake, cried for a few more hours. Oh god, I'm so depressed. Oh yeah, and don't forget I'm fat."
GUY: "just some bullshit."
I feel better already. I'm amazing.
4 comments:
started a juice fast yesterday. since then i've consumed 3 bowls of pasta, a bag of utz popcorn, 2 oatmeal cookies, a large cous cous salad and exactly one glass of vegetable juice. tonight i will be having hot dogs. laced with razors. keep on walkin'.
hahaha! boy that made my day :)
You arent fat. You may have fat in your body, but fat is a noun not an adjective. And diet is a noun, not a verb. Dig?
I think "Cathy" really blazed this trail for ladies though. Props to Andy Samberg:
“I had a hot date – with my TV Guide! Sweat drops!”
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