One thing that sucks about having roommates is it's a pain in the ass to cook in the kitchen. I like my roommates just fine, they're really nice guys, but I can't fucking take the 20-minute stop-n-chat you gotta do. Anytime I hear one of them in the kitchen I just wait til they're done; when I'm in there for more than 4 seconds, it's like a goddam Rotary Club meeting. And of course no space can remain unfilled by sound, we gotta roll out the same tired fucking jokes over and over, weighed heavily under awkwardness. It's miserable. So 90% of the time I just fucking get something from the outside. Which of course is hell on a diet and wallet, but I can't fucking take the small talk.
I think I'd like to have a family so I can make boring dinners like meat loaf/mashed potatoes/peas and stand around the kitchen for an hour entertaining people I actually enjoy being with. Cracking corny jokes with my kids, grabbing the wife's ass when they're not looking. The kitchen should always be the center of a home, it'd be nice to be able to look forward to it.
Maybe I'd also get everybody on The Garfield Diet?
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