Whitney Cummings is Not Funny

I year ago I wrote HERE:

Now there are SOME women who ARE funny, but there is always a ratio re: how funny they are to how hot they are to how willing we are watch them. The hotter the chick is, the more willing we are to watch her try to be funny; the less hot she is, the funnier she actually has to be, or we will click away. The best example is of course Rosanne, who was SO funny we were able to overlook her looking like Andre the Giant with a fatsuit on. Somewhere in the middle of things would be someone like Chelsea Handler, who is JUST sexy enough and JUST funny enough to hold our attention for a while (particularly if her guest is hot) despite not being REALLY hot or REALLY funny. Then there is Alexa Chung - so hot I've given her twenty minutes, but so unfunny she is now, and will forever be, unwatchable.

There is now a new embodiment of this phenomenon, and her name is Whitney Cummings. She's so smoking hot I sat through the entire hour of her Comedy Central stand-up special the other night waiting for her to say something remotely funny. She didn't. But because she's so hot I found myself rooting her on, desperately pleading to the Comedy Central gods "please, oh PLEASE let this next joke be funny." When there was like 2 minutes left in the hour I was still thinking "okay, if this last 2 minutes is funny, it's a save!" Nope. Nothing.

Meanwhile Liza Lampanelli can reel off ten minutes of laugh-out-loud, gut-busting stuff, and if she flubs one joke it's "oh, fuck this unfunny beeyotch."

Hey, life isn't fair.

Of course, this is the photo on her website, which probably tells us exactly how funny she thinks she has to be to get our attention.