/* MOBILE FIX: stop forcing desktop min-width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } .date-header { background: #000 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .date-header span { background: transparent !important; } .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; } /* --- XMastime fixes: titles + date bars + mobile --- */ /* Post titles: stop random centering */ h3.post-title, h2.post-title, .post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* Date header: make the black bar extend full width */ .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; } .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* Mobile: stop forcing huge desktop width */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body { min-width: 0 !important; } .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* FORCE post titles consistent */ .post-title, .post-title a, h2.post-title, h3.post-title { text-align: left !important; } /* FORCE full-width date bar across common Blogger structures */ .date-header, .date-header span, .post-header, .post-header-line-1, .post-header-line-1 span, .post-outer .post-header-line-1, .post-outer .post-header, .blog-posts .post-header-line-1 { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; padding: 8px 12px !important; margin: 0 !important; } /* prevent inner bits from “breaking” the bar */ .date-header *, .post-header *, .post-header-line-1 * { background: transparent !important; text-align: left !important; } /* MOBILE: stop the fixed 1218px width behavior */ @media screen and (max-width: 800px) { body, .content-outer, .content-fauxcolumn-outer, .region-inner { min-width: 0 !important; max-width: 100% !important; width: auto !important; } .main-inner .columns { padding-left: 0 !important; padding-right: 0 !important; } } /* DATE HEADER: make the black bar go full width */ .date-outer, /* FORCE FULL WIDTH DATE BAR NO MATTER WHAT */ .date-outer, .date-posts, .date-posts h2, .date-posts h3, .date-header, h2.date-header, h3.date-header { display: block !important; width: 100% !important; background: #000 !important; padding: 10px 12px !important; box-sizing: border-box !important; margin: 0 0 18px 0 !important; } /* force the TEXT itself orange and remove any weird inner box */ .date-posts span, .date-header span, .date-posts h2 span, .date-posts h3 span { background: transparent !important; color: #ff6600 !important; display: block !important; width: 100% !important; } -->

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

I Still Plan On Doing This, BTW

After all, I am nothing if not persistent. Which, ironically, I am not.
I need to get a girlfriend so that when we get into fights I can use lines from a Springsteen song without her even knowing it, a lá my classic 7/11 chemistry test.

Her: Yeah? Well guess what, I don't need your help!  I don't need anybody!
Me: Oh, really? Don't need nobody, huh? I guess you walk down the street pushin’ people outta your way?
Her: I can be out of here in 30 seconds, you'll never see me again!
Me: Oh, I see - you packed your bags and all alone you wanna ride? Is that it? You don’t want nothin’, don’t need no one by your side?
Her: You're goddam right!
Me: Well let ME tell YOU something - you're walkin’ tough baby, but you’re walkin’ blind to the ties that bind!
Her: Screw you!
Me: Now you can’t break the ties that bind!
Her: I can't believe I opened myself up to you!  I'll never make that mistake again!
Me: OH, I get it - you're so afraid of being somebody’s fool, not walkin’ tough baby, not walkin’ cool.  Is that it?
Her: Never again!
Me: You walk cool, but darlin’, can you walk the line? And face the ties that bind?
Her: What? What's with...ties, what?
Me: Now you can’t break the ties that bind!
Her: No, but I can stop myself from ever falling for anyone again!
Me: Not me, goddamit - I would rather feel the hurt inside, yes I would darlin’, than know the emptiness your heart must hide!
Her: Oh, I'm a heartless bitch now? Fuck you!
Me: Yes I would darlin’
Her: Fuck you!
Me: Yes I would darlin’
Her: Go to hell!
Me: Yes I would baby!

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