I spent most of my most recent elevator journey fantasizing that a black guy would get on with his little kid who was happily eating an ice cream sandwich, which they'd instantly dropped onto the filthy elevator floor, much to the horror of both father & child.
The kid would be melting down about to lose his shit when I'd catch the father's eye, which would be full-on deer in headlight mode by the way, and quickly motion that omg what do you know I HAVE AN ICE CREAM SANDWICH!! I'd just gotten one at Wegmans, from where I was returning!
Relief would break over the father's face as he realized his crisis was about to be diverted, even if by a complete stranger who just so happened to be a white guy who unfortunately kinda looked like he was bred in a MAGA fantasy lab.
BUT I WOULD SOMEHOW MAKE THIS HEROIC MOMENT EVEN BETTER!
Of course I could've been the big hero to this kid, swooping down on one knee with a fresh ice cream sandwich in front of his tear-soaked face, but no - I'd slip the ice cream sandwich to the dad without the kid seeing it so that HE could surprise the kid with it, therein getting to be the big hero in his kid's eyes.
It didn't happen. Probably never will. But you never know.
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